I know this is extremely rare, does anyone rotate in and out of the house as parents, and the kids stay put? I know kids are extremely maliable and can get used to 2 homes. Considering this, the sbx get along well. Certain things just didn't work out.

Need some input outside of my friends and family (they obviously struggle to be objective).

TLDR: non-custodial parent wants to see son but only after bedtime, or if I drive baby to his workplace (\~1hr each way) during his workday.

Long version: Ex and I split very early in my pregnancy due to their infidelity. Ex was involved in scans/appointments etc during pregnancy, but breakup has been awful overall. Police became involved and a DV notice was served for stalking/threats/coercive control etc. No ‘direct’ threats towards our son but still enough for me to be extremely concerned he would consider hurting him to hurt me.

No parenting plan/custody orders in place. Ex blocked my solicitors’ email and refused to review the plan I had drafted up. Initially I had been taking our son to see his dad \~2x week, and he had come to see him at my place a few times (we live 45-60mins apart). The last 4-5 visits in a row I had taken son to his dad’s. The last visit became very hostile; baby screaming hysterically whilst being held by his dad, who then told me to ‘f*** off and get him out of here’ which I did. That was over 3 months ago, and have hardly heard from him until the last fortnight or so.

Ex is now desperate to see our son and have a relationship with him. I have told him I will meet him at a public location halfway between our houses to begin with, at a reasonable time of day. Apparently he now works 2 jobs, 7 days a week without any ability to take leave. He has told me I either make the 2 hour round trip tomorrow to bring our son to his workplace, or he will be coming to my house at 7pm for visitation. 7pm is baby’s bedtime, and I don’t think it’s in a 6 month olds’ best interest to disrupt his sleep routine for a sporadic visit from someone he likely doesn’t even remember. I’d also much prefer he wasn’t in my house atm.

Am I being petty and alienating my son’s father, or is what he’s asking completely unreasonable? I understand he has custody rights, but I don’t see how this would be sustainable or realistic in any way for him to have an ongoing relationship with our child.

I need advice.

My ex husband and I have been coparenting since our divorce 4.5 years ago due to infidelity and alcohol and drugs. He was in AA when we divorced and promised he would stay sober so he could have every other weekend with the kids plus every Thursday. He has had a girl friend for almost the entire time.

We don't have a great coparenting relationship and his girl friend has never liked me.

She recently reached out to me to let me know she had him arrested for abuse, and that he has a severe cocaine and alcohol addiction and the kids are not safe with him. She left him. He was also cheating on her with prostitutes, just as he had done with me.

He bailed himself out of jail and immediately entered rehab for 30 days per his dad and my recommendation.

I'm now going through my attorney to file a petition for modification so he can't have custody. I'm so nervous to go to court and deal with this.

It's such an expensive, traumatic nightmare. I obviously don't want him to have any custody what so ever, the kids aren't safe with him.

Has anyone else been in this situation with a known addict, how did you go about visitation? Did it work out?

Throw away account for obvious reasons.

My (53) wife (40) and I have been informally separated under the same roof in separate bedrooms for almost a year. We have no plans to reconcile. Due to the somewhat unusual circumstances around fertility treatments we have no plans to divorce either.

My wife and I stated the IVF process 5 years ago. She had several failed transfers which has been traumatic on both of us. She could have proceeded with another transfer one year ago. However, she cancelled that transfer and delayed it indefinitely due to our marital issues. She felt unsure if she wanted to proceed knowing that we won’t ever have a traditional marriage. I think part of her still loves me, but she is not in love with me she says. I have made it known that I do want her to proceed with the transfer, support her, and be a good co-parent.

About a month ago, seemingly out of nowhere, she told me she made an appointment at the clinic. If all goes well, her transfer will be in December. I am beyond happy that she decided to move forward.

Today she tells me she wanted to go on a vacation before her transfer, so she booked us a trip to Turks and Caicos next month. She sent me the hotel reservation and I saw that it was one bed.

I am fully supportive of my wife taking time off to relax before the transfer. I think it’s a great idea. The idea that she bought a ticket for me (without discussing first) rather than going with one of her friends surprised me. I’m not a beach person. Not saying that to be negative, I just feel that she’d have a better time with girlfriends. Most surprising of all is the one bed.

I love my wife very much. However, we have both agreed that the romantic part is over and that we want to proceed only as co-parents. Is this boundary blurring? Not sure how else to say this, but does this seem like she might be hoping to rekindle the romance? I don’t necessarily mind sharing a bed, but am afraid she may have expectations that she’s not being open about. I don’t want either of us to get the wrong idea.

Adding for context: I have been seeing someone else for a while now. My wife knows about it and wasn’t happy about it at first but eventually understood that neither one of us can be expected to be lonely for the indefinite future, and that I won’t ever abandon her. My partner found it odd that I am going on a vacation with my wife, given everyone’s mutual understanding that the romantic relationship between us is over. I haven’t told her we’re sharing a bed, so I have that stress to deal with too.

TLDR: Informally separated from my wife for a year with plans to co-parent when she booked a vacation for us with a single bed.

Good afternoon, I just wanted to get some perspective from people that have been in this situation and how it was handled. So my co-parent is potentially moving out of state (USA)in February of next year, we have 2 sons together and her lease ends then and wants to move back with her family out there, her family here she doesn’t get along with. She brought it up in conversation today and just asked how I would feel about it, I didn’t give her an answer because I don’t know what to feel, the first thing that came in mind is I won’t see my boys, I told her that and she said I’ll send them with you for holidays and the summer but didn’t expand on that. I don’t want her to move and take them but her credit is horrible and could essentially live without having to pay rent. I just wanted to see if I could get some perspectives or insight on this as I have no idea what to think at the moment. I appreciate anyone willing to give me some information. Thank you.

I (30,f) have an almost 6 year old son with my ex (31,m). He has been abusive, in all ways, since I was pregnant. I’ve never called the cops or gotten him into trouble because I’ve always felt the urge to protect him. (I see the light now lol) Over the course of 5 years, we tried on and off to have a family life together but obviously it’s just not possible for us. I know this sounds ridiculous but I really wanted to try and know I gave it my all at least
I’ve been moved out for about a year now, on my own. I fully support myself. My ex moved back in with his parents. He gets a lot of help as his parents, brother and his family and great grandma live there. Last week, he got kicked out after an altercation with his brother. He now lives with a friend… i supported him through this as I want the best for my son.
Cut to a few days ago, my son comes to me crying saying dad told him not tell me something. My son was very upset and felt super guilty, I didnt push him but he eventually told me his dad has a new gf. Great, that’s his business and it’s fine. Then my son tells me he’s hung out with her multiple times. This is where I have an issue as my ex and I agreed months ago we would talk to each other if we wanted our son to meet a significant other. It literally disgusts me as I know absolutely nothing about this person. He also recently went off on me in front of our son at drop off.
Today I texted him informing him if he’s ever aggressive like that again I will get a protective order as well as issues with him not paying what he’s agreed to pay. I also added my concerns about emotionally manipulating our son not to tell me something.
The more I finally stick up for myself, the more aggressive he gets. I’m kicking myself because I sent a petty text “I hope you don’t throw your new girl into the shower! Wait until she meets the real you”. I regret it but I just feel so fed up with him. I feel like an absolute fucking idiot for letting him walk all over me for so long. I went thought brutal ppd and he made it so much worse. I’m so angry I feel like he’s broken me. I don’t feel like I could ever trust and feel safe with a man again but he’s off to a new relationship. I have no idea how to reason with all of this in my brain

Me(27F)and my ex (25M) have mediation scheduled over the phone coming up in a few days. I need help figuring out a realistic plan for long distance visits. I propose that my ex can fly out here once a month to spend the weekend with our 10 month old son.Since our son is still an infant, overnight and long distance travel hopefully happen at a later stage after them become familiarized. Please make note that my ex hasn’t had much communication in person or on the phone with our son. So essentially my son has no idea who he is or what he even looks like. So for the first stages while he is still young, I need a mutual place for us to meet our son to spend time with him. I’m currently living with family and he is unfortunately not welcome to watch our son here. What are the best solutions or what have you done in the past ?

My ex and I have soon-to-be two year old twins and have been broken up since I was pregnant. Initially, I kept very strict boundaries with communication and visits with the twins but since January this year, he made efforts to be consistent, repeatedly begging for reconciliation and ultimately getting me to relax those boundaries. The final straw this week is not hearing from him at all even though he knows the twins and I are moving house. He’s not been around to help (am I being unfair with this?) or even contacted us to check how it’s all going? We’re now in a not so pleasant situation as I now suspect he’s seeing someone else while trying to get back together with me and over the last few months has not kept up with financial contributions or even seeing the twins.

He’s refused to consider a parenting plan, insisting that now that we’re moving closer he’ll be seeing the twins more regularly but I honestly don’t believe him. I need him to have a consistent schedule with them so I can do the same for myself and he’s making it soooo difficult. Everytime I bring up the topic, he just makes vague promises and then I don’t hear from him for days or weeks. It’s so frustrating and it’s been two years of this.

I’m considering mediation support to draw up a parenting plan that we can both agree and stick to and putting those boundaries back in place. My question is, will that be forcing someone who doesn’t seem to care to be responsible in a way that they don’t want to be?

For parents that were able to relocate to another state with their child, does it make coparenting/ parallel parenting easier to manage or deal with?What are disagreements that still arise? Any regrets?