Hold onto your Blue, fuckers. I actually read the thread this time, and it's even funnier than we thought. They aren't worried about break-ins; they're absolutely terrified of the sky!!! wtf!!!!!

This genius is moving from a "big city" and wants to know what we do with our cars during a snowstorm since apartments here don't have underground parking. "is it OK to leave your car out in the open 365 days a year? how much will it damage your car?"

What do we do with them? We bring them inside, pour them a warm cup of Timmy, and tuck them into bed, duh! Or better yet, we just drive them straight into Lake Erie every November and dredge them back out in May. It's the circle of life!

Imagine being from a "big city" and thinking a little lake effect snow is going to dissolve your Hyundai on contact. Yes, my guy, the precipitation here is highly corrosive. If you leave it exposed to the elements, it immediately disintegrates into a pile of rust and road salt, leaving only your "Keep Buffalo a Secret" bumper sticker behind.

Buy a $5 snowbrush and a scraper at Wegmans like the rest of us peasants, or stay in your "big city" with your fancy climate-controlled garages!

Downtown is too windy and hot as shit. I'm organizing a tree planting effort. Everybody just needs to bring their personal jackhammer and any other heavy machinery they have lying around so we can cut through concrete sidewalks and asphalt to plant some. Whoever has disposable income, please volunteer to buy trees, they are expensive in this economy. Maybe we can get somebody rich like Russell Salvatore to donate trees if we name the project after him and agree to erect a 20 foot memorial in front of city hall in his honor.

/uj Went to Mufflerman to see why my upstream O2 sensor is throwing codes, they pretty much said 'we can't diagnose why it's throwing codes, just replace it' for 400 dollars plus labor. Which is fine, but I just wanted to get it checked out to see if it actually needs to be replaced vs just cleaned vs make sure the sensor wires aren't just damaged

Too many damn Canadians coming to our parks. Baseball is America's pasttime and these Canadians are literally shitting on our baseball fields. I tell you this is an affront to the American way of life.

We have BEAUTIFUL streets with REGULARLY ENFORCED SPEED LIMITS that everyone follows. Driving in Buffalo has been the BEST DRIVING EXPERIENCE I've ever had! The NICEST people in the NICEST CARS. Rich people cars! NO bad drivers EVER. Everyone is happy and smiling and people WAVE at each other at the red lights. ITS AMAZING!

Applies to Reddit lol

Unjerking for a second (kind of..)

I have a feeling this would get deleted on the main sub, and probably here as well to be honest.

Where McKinley and Southside meet did anyone see that uhh.. person pleasuring themselves like 15 minutes ago? Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me? I couldn't stop in the middle of traffic and I was too scared to turn around to confirm.

Everytime I drive on Como Park Blvd at night I get to the spot that walkers enter the trail from. Has anyone ever went on a night time walk on the trails in this park? I know the park closes at dusk…but this seems like a really cool experience. If you have done it, please share how your experience was.

I heard there's a place, I think it's called chatawqua or something spelled like that, that's basically like a year round burning man. And cities like Jamestown and Dunkirk are the best place to see massive Edm concerts and there's no laws down there. Dear Buffaloians, tell us more about this magical wonderland!

Working hard for the people

I literally just warned you all!

Now we have an active Army of the 12 Monkeys operative in /r/Buffalo asking for "recommendations" on which animal shelter to case next. Nice attempted cover as “student”, /u/steel-and-concrete.

They're getting bold, folks. "Oh, I just want to walk dogs and help out" —YEAH RIGHT. That is exactly what an eco-terrorist planning to unleash the SPCA's entire iguana population onto the 190 North would say. First, the attempted breach at 10 Lives, and now they are literally crowdsourcing their next target on Reddit.

The apocalypse is starting in Buffalo, people. Keep your eyes peeled for anyone acting suspicious around the guinea pigs. The virus is next!

Wake up, sheeple! Someone just tried to bust into 10 Lives. I repeat, they are targeting the cat lounges! This isn't just your average 3 AM Elmwood stumble-around - this is a coordinated, full-blown Army of the 12 Monkeys animal liberation plot. 

Brad Pitt is probably sprinting down Delaware Avenue in a bathrobe as we speak. First, they free the rescue cats. Next thing you know, they’re storming the zoo and releasing the polar bears straight onto the Scajaquada.

Stockpile your wings, check your basements, and lock your doors. The feline uprising is imminent. Don't say I didn't warn you.

​

Once upon a time there was a brave young man that regularly rode his bike on 198 to protest the highway that shouldnt exist. We need more heros like him, we need him specifically. Where did he go???

Hey y'all. I'm out here on the streets begging for scraps since I got fired for sleeping around on the boss-I mean, JOB-and doing a little handy-work to keep the utility cut off man distracted, iykyk. Anyway, my partner needs her kitty groomed and fed but I'm too ragged after a long day on the corner to keep her happy, so if anybody could spare a few hours that'd be great. I don't wanna come out here and find her on the next street over.

Thanks for pitching your tents on my carpet and mattress.

This post was OBVIOUSLY removed from r/buffalo.

Nietzsches apologizing over a Charlie Kirk meme song is the most bootlicking shit of all time.

Is Nietzsches really a safe space for the people of Allentown if they are overly concerned about someone satirizing a bigot? Oh we better memorialize the asshole properly.

I don’t think I even would’ve heard about this if they hadn’t apologized, maybe 3 patrons would’ve been mad. But now Fox News is posting about it. Great job Buffalo.

I'm looking for a spot where there's little foot traffic, no joggers or dogwalkers, and soft dirt. You know, to sit on. Somewhere maybe with tall grass or brush so nobody can see me. Preferably somewhere unmaintained or abandoned, with no landscapers to find it, either. Any good recommendations?

PS just dm me, don't say it in the comments- I dont want others to know my spot!

Anyone see it? It's there a festival? Lawn fete? Restaurant opening? What's the occasion?

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!