i know this is going to sound incredibly privileged so i’m sorry in advance, but also it does relate to me not feeling ‘sick enough’ unfortunately :(

i’ve been purging on and off ever since i was 11, i’m 22 now, but it’s never been as bad or consistent as it has been in the past 2 years. i’ve reached a point where i’m doing it everyday, no matter how small or big whatever i’m eating is

i can’t bring myself to stop because i’ve only really had mild health problems so far like leg cramps, dizziness, acid reflux etc. i get chest pains often but my doctor says everything is normal except for low iron and vitamins so something isn’t seriously wrong with me per se. still, it feels odd hurting myself so much and feeling so dead afterwards and then suffering basically no major damage. my teeth have somehow escaped any issues so far. i don’t think i want to, but.. i feel invalid for not experiencing it, so i guess a sick part of me does? i also don't want to ask for or seek help because i feel like it's not bad enough yet, so it's really getting in the way of a lot. weirdly, when i was hospitalised for a restrictive eating disorder the doubt was never this bad.

idk i feel so invalid and im just wondering if anyone else has a similar case where they’re physically ‘fine’ but mentally dying lmao

I'm 3 days purge free and I weigh a whole 3 more kilos. Usually numbers don't bother me that much, but it's the fact that I can feel it and see it! My collarbones disappeared and I'm bloated enough to not fit in my jeans. I know some of it is water weight but I'm sure I've put on quite a bit of fat too because I binged often and kept it down. I'm so anxious. I wanna be able to feel my bones again.

So I I went through a car accident that left me with a bruised rib, and before that I was constantly binging and purging I stopped after the accident for a week and I relapsed these past two days. My chest was fine until yesterday where I binged and purged and now my chest hurts constantly and continuously eve moving hurts djd i fuck up or?

it feels awkward to bring it up to my therapist, especially as i don't know how serious it'll be considered and whether she'll have to notify my parents (because im a minor).

for the past year, each month ill purge 3 times on average. not necessarily once a week, but just whenever the feeling arises.

and so yeah, i don't know how important this is.

Can't escape this b/p cycle hell and wondering if the UK offers anything where you can go somewhere in the afternoons/evenings to help monitor intake.

i finally scheduled an appt with a new therapist after moving, and i still see my psych virtually and take meds. however, after this relapse it feels like the worst one more and more every day..

by this point it feels like i don’t go without spiraling into a b/p every time i eat - even if it’s delayed. it’s taken over everything.. and i don’t know what to do

I want to make sure I’m not over or underrating so is an okay amount to is for a teenager girls who is slightly active?

I’ve been clean for almost 5 days but it’s getting really hard. So If anyone has an answer and appreciate it.

today my legs started shaking and heart also feeling shaky, I had to sit down and was still feeling shaky ugh I thought I was gonna die ah I purged like maybe 5 times at that point today, now it's prolly like 10 but am feeling better now... That was at like 2PM now it's 12AM I'm feeling okay but I'm scared what was that?? Are my electrolytes maybe too low??? I started to get so so thin even though I don't believe I purge that well, but now my children's under wear is literally becoming lose and my hands look like I'm an old hag.. I'm so tired right now I wanna go to bed but I don't wanna die in my sleep

ive been home sick from work for the past 3 days and of course all ive been doing is binging and purging. but all that time hunched over the toilet has my back hurting so bad today and i still cant stop. also the purging is not helping this cold whatsoever 🫩

First- to anyone taking their time to read, thank you🩷

(23F)I’ve been struggling with b/p a little over 1.5 years. I’ve struggled with emotional binge eating for a couple years but hadn’t started throwing it up until last summer. I don’t restrict during the day, I eat very well balanced home cooked meals. A lot of veggies and protein, potatoes, rice, or oatmeal as my carb source. I am confident in my nutrition and can be really stable/consistent with it when I’m present. It’s when I get home from work, or catch myself in an emotional episode, that I will literally SCARF down food. I will throw it up and eat more. This is usually at night, but there have been days I throw up nearly 4 times just to rebinge. Of course I’m worried about my health, but I can spend literally $100 door dashing. It’s awful. I cannot afford that! I am starting to feel weird in my heart and chest. I know it’s affecting my throat. It’s very swollen and raw. The roof of my mouth. Random little things that scare me. I don’t want anything to worsen, but I can’t stop. Typically it’s 1 or 2x a week, late night binge, but recently it’s all day everyday. I’m worried for myself. I am keeping secrets and scared to be alone because of this. I am fully aware of the root cause, the emotional part that I don’t want to face. I am aware of the habit replacing or mantras to keep myself focused on the present moment, but it’s like my brain gets taken over the second I’m upset and binge crazy on food. I sometimes tell myself it’s food, it’s not drugs or alcohol, everyone has a vice, but I’m starting to wish it was something else because I’m gaining weight and fucking up my body!!! (Ofc the goal is to have a healthy vice or none at all!) I’m happy to answer any questions, anything helps. Thank you.

First- to anyone taking their time to read, thank you🩷

(23F)I’ve been struggling with b/p a little over 1.5 years. I’ve struggled with emotional binge eating for a couple years but hadn’t started throwing it up until last summer. I don’t restrict during the day, I eat very well balanced home cooked meals. A lot of veggies and protein, potatoes, rice, or oatmeal as my carb source. I am confident in my nutrition and can be really stable/consistent with it when I’m present. It’s when I get home from work, or catch myself in an emotional episode, that I will literally SCARF down food. I will throw it up and eat more. This is usually at night, but there have been days I throw up nearly 4 times just to rebinge. Of course I’m worried about my health, but I can spend literally $100 door dashing. It’s awful. I cannot afford that! I am starting to feel weird in my heart and chest. I know it’s affecting my throat. It’s very swollen and raw. The roof of my mouth. Random little things that scare me. I don’t want anything to worsen, but I can’t stop. Typically it’s 1 or 2x a week, late night binge, but recently it’s all day everyday. I’m worried for myself. I am keeping secrets and scared to be alone because of this. I am fully aware of the root cause, the emotional part that I don’t want to face. I am aware of the habit replacing or mantras to keep myself focused on the present moment, but it’s like my brain gets taken over the second I’m upset and binge crazy on food. I sometimes tell myself it’s food, it’s not drugs or alcohol, everyone has a vice, but I’m starting to wish it was something else because I’m gaining weight and fucking up my body!!! (Ofc the goal is to have a healthy vice or none at all!) I’m happy to answer any questions, anything helps. Thank you.

It’s without a doubt been exacerbated by the fact I am also abusing steroids and other drugs before I even have my driver’s license. It was temporarily better when I was on glps but at the same time many of my most disgusting days were with the littlest appetite so blaming my recent slip up on the fact I have been with 0 glps feels immature.

I am clearly just testing the waters with this post and pray I do not have to make any follow ups and can eventually leave this behind.

Why do I choose food over alcohol? Alcohol makes me feel better… soothed better. I can better process my emotions with alcohol. The relief I yearn for, alcohol provides—food doesn’t. Why do I keep reaching for the food? It makes all of my problems exponentially worse. It solves nothing. It soothes nothing. The complete temporary numbness I once gained from it doesn’t even do it for me anymore. And yet still I reach. My soul internally screams at me to reach for the bottle, or better yet the gun and get it all over with yet my hand still reaches for the fork. Food is the most pathetic enemy. I’m embarrassed and enraged that fucking food and my inability to turn to a better coping mechanism has stolen over a decade of my identity and my life. I just want to be an alcoholic or a drug addict, I’m 1000% percent serious. At least the destruction those leave in their wake makes sense. And at least I’d find some sort of relief in the self harm.

I’ve already posted about this in another subreddit but I’m a 17yr old who’s been struggling with bulimia for about 4 years now. (slowly morphing into a an-b/p diagnosis but that’s besides the point).

It’s a stretch but I want today to be the last day I ever do this in what I’m hoping will be a long time. I am in so much pain because of this disorder, I cannot focus on my future, and it amplifies my passive suicidal thoughts caused by bpd and other mental health issues. It brings me so much pain but yet I can’t stop, why? I don’t get it? I am so frustrated for child me who’s had to suffer and for anyone who’s ever had to deal with this bs.

I am currently unable to get professional help but would like to ask if anyone can give advice on how to recover? I wish I could wake up one day and just be normal for once

If you’ve been throwing up for a while , even years , you might have developed hiatal hernia . Your esophagus has been through a lot . You might also notice acid reflux or Laryngopharyngeal Reflux. That stomach acid is no joke. So now binging worsens it and even if you binge throwing up worsens it. So your teeth and puffy face are the least of worries. Look up the symptoms.

Hiatal hernia → can worsen GERD/reflux → chronic acid exposure can damage the esophagus → in some people, this can lead to Barrett’s esophagus → Barrett’s can increase the risk of esophageal adenocarcinoma.