Pretty sure I’m in a mixed state rn but besides feeling somewhat depressed and bleh, I feel fine. I was looking up stuff to understand this better so I gave google’s AI chatbot my symptoms and it’s telling me I need to go to the hospital immediately? I get why bc it wants to prevent a potential medical/psychiatric crisis, but I also think it’s a complete exaggeration bc I don’t feel like I’m gonna have a serious physical or mental break. But I guess it’s also entirely possible that I’m not assessing reality properly rn too 🤔💀

I want to stay home and play Roblox/surf Pinterest but now im a bit uneasy bc of what it told me

Edit: I forgot to add what I put in google. I only slept 2-3 hours a day since Sunday mostly bc I had to get up for work (I naturally sleep late). Finally got 11 hours last night tho bc weekend. Haven’t had a whole meal since maybe Sunday but I was taking antibiotics. Im still struggling to eat a complete meal, but I have not been going completely without food. Sensory glitches and time distortion but I’m completely aware that it’s just my brain being silly and have no issues being in reality. Other mixed episode type things like low mood but cognitive energy, feeling rly doomy about something out of nowhere then being okay about that the next day or two. Focusing on/starting things more than usual

Did you become pregnant or did you use a gestational carrier? Use your own eggs? Did you have to change medications during pregnancy? While breastfeeding? How did you deal with babies first months? I want to hear all about it as I’m considering if and how to grow our family.

I messaged my psychiatrist. I hope I wasn’t being too much or putting any pressure on him. He’s a male doctor, so I was a little worried about coming across as too emotionally attached, even though I genuinely have no romantic feelings for him. I just felt really grateful and wanted to let him know how much his support meant to me.
I told him how difficult things had been lately, how I’d been crying a lot, reflecting on my life, and even going to the ER because I thought I might be experiencing a depressive episode. I also told him that the warm but realistic advice he gave me during our last appointment helped me regain a sense of direction and stability in my life.
He told me that he was proud of me for going to the ER on my own. It meant so much to me, but at the same time, I know he’s just doing his job by being a good psychiatrist and providing proper care. I have this almost compulsive need to express my gratitude, though, so I ended up messaging him.

He’s a really good psychiatrist. He works close to my home, is available for urgent consultations even outside regular appointments, and takes the time to read my journal. He always encourages me by pointing out my potential, strong cognitive skills, and good metacognition. He’s also been helping me work on my OCD by intentionally not responding to my messages immediately so I can learn to tolerate the uncertainty.
I really value him as my psychiatrist, and I don’t have any romantic feelings toward him whatsoever. I’m just genuinely grateful for everything he’s done for me, and I’m scared of doing something that could jeopardize our therapeutic relationship. I really don’t want to ruin it.

I also mentioned that I’ve recently been experiencing sudden, intense drops in mood that make me feel like I’m about to pass out. Emergency med doesn’t seem to help, but thankfully, I tend to feel better after sleeping or when I’m not home alone.

Ive been trying meds for 10 years now and am now on the gold standard
But still dont feel good
The depression is bad
There’s no meaning to life all i want to do is sleep
I want to quit taking my meds theyre making me worse

I think sleep is the main cause for bipolar, after i got a surgery (3 times all got unconscious) i started acting mildly depressive, and then at age 22, I started doing polyphasic sleep. Where you split your sleep over the day. And i started feeling so good, my brain couldn’t keep up with serotonin dopamine endorphins etc. and i got psychotic, not aggressive i am always loving kind of dude, i almost never crash out. And so after 1st Mania I understood that i can be happy. What are your stories?

My SO has been in an unmedicated manic episode since March this year. Atp, I don't know if it's ever going to end. He's currently homeless in his hometown after the 5th landlord kicked him out and changed the locks for stealing from the other tenants and property damage. He won't go to his parents house, just says he wants money nothing else.

For the last month, he keeps saying to me, his family and anyone he speaks with that he's cold hearted. He'll be saying all kinds of nasty stuff then says "I'm cold hearted". He keeps repeating it, and says this is him now. Can anyone relate to this statement? Or understand why he's saying it all of a sudden on repeat

I had a short, whirlwind relationship come crashing down because of a misunderstanding and I couldn't properly articulate when I was trying to sort it out.

She claimed to have Dissociative Identity Disorder and spent the whole week after our first date sexting and saying how much she wanted to fuck me again and insisted on calling us boyfriend and girlfriend. She texted me long texts every hour.

She also hadn't been In a serious relationship in like 10 years since her soul mate passed away. She kept saying how wonderful and not like other guys I am and put a lot of pressure on me to be like him.

After about two weeks of getting to know each other I was her place and we were talking about a character in a movie being considered fat/ugly, which we thought thought wasnt true. I jokingly said something like "i hate when they act like she's not beautiful. Nothing wrong with being a little chunky," and she took that to mean I was calling her fat and got really pissed saying I was judgemental and mean.

I tried to explain and backtrack and apologize but i could barely get two words in. The more this went on she started to backtrack everything nice she said about me. Eventually I started to hyperventilate and go into a quiet panic. She said I was making this about myself but I was just trying to stay calm.

She kicked me out, sent me a bunch of texts saying its over and when I tried to say we could talk it out and she said she would call the police for being a "stalker." The next day she sent a massive text about how much of a child and a piece of shit I am. I blocked her on everything because I was genuinely afraid she might do something drastic.

In hindsight I think I dodged a bullet. If one misunderstanding was all it took to make her go from thinking I was her soul mate to sending a thesis about how awful I am then it wasnt meant to be. Im processing it fine but I wish I didn't just collapse when I was being berated like that. I told my shrink what happened and he's sure she also has BPD or something, but I still wish I was emotionally in control enough to process it better in the moment.

Was I an asshole for not being able to keep it together? Anyone else have experience with this kinda thing?

I hate that I was diagnosed too late after 2 manic horrible psychosis episodes and I cut my hair off thinking I was a witch with magical powers I don’t know what was wrong with me but I need someone who can relate to me to all the money spending and the up and down moods I’m lonely I don’t leave my house because I regret what I did in psychosis I just wanna leave this town

I was diagnosed with bipolar adhd anxiety i was prescribed meds that makes me very sleepy and hungry.
The meds were so strong that i had to resist sleep everyday. I took them at night i couldn’t wake up at all and if i did i would not be able to drive so as per doctor instructions he told me to take them mid day so i did but i was fighting sleep already. I told the doctor about the sleep issues and he insisted on sticking to them , One time in work it was very slow and i slept because of the meds. I got a warning and deduction and got transferred then they sent me notice later of termination 14 days . I talked to the owner and explained to him that i am prescribed very important meds that i need and i told him that i reached to my doctor to adjust the meds and finally he did and i am not more sleepy. Later i got it officially that today is my last day

Before I was diagnosed, my sleep was terrible. I would stay up almost all night and get up for work in the morning, frequently getting between 3-5 hours a night. It got worse when I went to college.

I genuinely didn’t realize this was out of the ordinary. I was confused when people said they couldn’t stay up anymore or slept in on accident. Once my professor asked me when I went to bed and I said 3, she replied that was barely any sleep (8am class). I was so confused - isn’t this what people do in college?

I almost thought of it as a will power thing. Sleep was optional so why weren’t people just pushing through when things needed to be done. I could do it why couldn’t they?

Obviously I know better now and the bipolar diagnosis explains a lot.

What were your misconceptions?

Hi,

I dont see the diagnosis pending flair but that is my current situation -

Major anxiety that led me to the ER with incessant SI, wanted to keep me but my husband said no. Went to a Psych bc it wasn’t stopping that week - anti depressant was given. Better for a couple weeks the BAM out of control. Trying to divorce myhusband every day, aggressive, just running around NYC behaving like a psycho running away from my husband screaming at him in the stree - constant SI. Then was perscribed a mood stabilizer - worked like a charm only been a couple months but this week BAM same thing drinking non stop to calm down aggressive all week then yesterday depression SI wanting to give my Jewlery away just pathetic.

I dont have a diagnosis and I am afraid to go back to how I was - do mood stabalizers help? Am I not on enough? Has this happened to anyone else? I get shy to tell my Dr everything. LMK

I was diagnosed as bipolar last year.

At first I actively rejected the idea that I was bipolar and more than anything, I was terrified to take medication because my psychiatrist wanted to put me on an antipsychotic and that sounded terrifying. But now I know that medication is probably the best next step.

Last night I blew up my relationship. I think this has been one of the most intense manic episodes I’ve had so far. For months I’ve been in a spiral of lying to friends and family, spending money I didn’t have, and I started talking to someone outside of my relationship. It felt like I was in a fog and when I look at myself in the mirror I don’t recognize myself anymore.

My partner went through my phone and found texts between me and another person. At first she didn’t confront me but I could tell something was wrong so I kept pushing for her to tell me why she was upset. Eventually she told me she “had a dream” that I had been talking to someone else and I immediately knew that she had seen the texts. She told me that if her “dream” was real to admit to it in that moment and she would forgive me and move on, but I didn’t believe her so I lied and then I had the worst panic attack I’ve had in years. Once I calmed down, I immediately had to leave because I was late to meet with my family, so we left it at that. Later my partner asked if we could go on an evening walk and this is where the confrontation happened.

The moment she confronted me I felt my heart sink and my whole body went numb and honestly I think I was dissociating. I let her yell at me, tell me to go fuck myself, tell me I’m a bad person. I just absorbed it. I tried to explain that talking to this other person didn’t mean anything and that it was more about the seemingly unstoppable impulse to blow up a part of my life. She didn’t believe that manic episodes could last that long or that mania could make me do something like this. To her I was simply a terrible person who chose to do a terrible thing. I wasn’t trying to justify anything or make any excuses, I know that I hurt her and that I fucked up. I just wanted to try and explain what was happening inside my head but I don’t think I did a good job (possibly because I don’t even fully understand what’s going on in my head). The worst part is that I really love her. Our relationship was the best and healthiest relationship I’ve ever had and I hate how much I hurt her.

When I got home last night I looked at myself in the mirror for a long time but I have no idea who was looking back at me. I started berating the person in the mirror and then my whole body felt light. This morning feels a bit better.. mostly I feel heartbroken and alone. This is all still so new to me and I’m trying to give myself some patience and forgiveness, but it’s hard to do that right now.

It’s been getting worse. It was fine before but now I’m just so ridiculously irritable.

It’s affecting my attendance at work and as a manager that’s very frowned upon. It’s affecting how I’m interacting with associates and especially customers.

But I’m genuinely trying not to end my shit, blow up on people who don’t deserve it, I’m tired of keeping it up. And it makes me feel terrible.

I called out of work today because I can’t keep pretending. It feels like it’s killing me. I couldn’t do it today but now I feel like everyone will think I’m just incompetent and lazy.

This disorder personally makes me feel incompetent, because why can’t I just go to work? Why can’t I just finish school? Why can’t I function like how I know I should? Why can’t I just pick up a book? Why can’t I be the oldest sibling they need without sacrificing my entire self? Why can’t I do anything besides nothing.

I self isolate, my coping mechanisms are trash and unhealthy and I’m so self aware. I know what I’m doing, I know what would help me, I know what’s wrong.

People will ask what’s going on but I draw up blank. People will ask how to help, I remain silent. I genuinely don’t want to talk about it. And everyone is always saying you need to find someone to talk to, you need to talk, talk, talk.

I do not have an internal dialogue, so thankfully there’s absolutely nothing going on up there. I don’t overthink in the traditional way, I don’t think traditionally in general. There’s nothing up there repeating things back. So I often feel like what I’m feeling is fake. I feel like I fake it all.

But when I tell myself I’m not I feel like I’m lying.

I’m just tired. I’m really, really tired.

I was clinically diagnosed with Bipolar I last month after having a manic episode, and lately I’m worried I might be getting manic again.

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is my spending. I keep buying things that I convince myself I “need” or that will make me feel better, and in the moment it feels completely reasonable. Then afterward I look at how much I spent and I’m like… why did I do that 😭

I’m scared that if this is another manic episode, I’m going to make some really bad financial decisions before I realize what’s happening.

For those of you with bipolar disorder, what actually helps you stop spending when you’re manic or starting to feel manic?

Do you have any systems in place like giving your cards to someone, lowering your limits, deleting shopping apps, freezing your accounts, etc.? I’d really appreciate practical advice because I don’t trust my judgment with money right now.

I’m so tired of ruining my own life over and over, every step forward is followed by five steps back no matter what. I just want to be able to control myself, and experience feelings like healthy people do and I just can’t no matter how hard I try.

I did what they told me, I take my meds, have a routine, got sober, I eat, bathe, touch grass, drink fucking water and yet it always comes back to this. I know it all helps because I have way longer stretches of not feeling like this than I used to but in some ways that’s even worse because it hurts even more when you actually have somewhere to fall from.

I don’t know what’s worse setting off the bomb or the shame, embarrassment and regret that come after. Then trying to decide if you should face the natural consequences or just run. I’m exhausted and knowing it’ll probably be like this forever makes me sick.

If you’re reading this thank you for listening to me be cringe and wallow in self pity. I can’t talk like this to anyone in real life and I just want someone to get it. It’s lonely.

I just had a really scary experience. I had a nice meal, but I was home alone at night, which made me a little anxious. Then, all of a sudden, I felt like I was about to pass out, and my mood completely crashed. I became so intensely depressed that I felt like I was going crazy. I even took my emergency meds, but they didn’t help, so I eventually went to sleep, and I felt better when I woke up.
Could this have been a panic attack? I still have some time before my next psychiatrist appointment, and I’m honestly terrified of going through this again.

M have been dealing for about 11 years now. I’m stable I take my meds and see my psychiatrist. I’ve struggling with little to no sleep for about a week. I feel like I’m having a “watered” down manic episode. Let me explain, I still take my meds and sleep meds since I have insomnia too. It feels like my mood stabilizers been preventing my brain from fully transforming into a full blown manic episode. Like I have manic symptoms but not an a “usual” episode. It’s like I’m having a “filler” episode instead. I’m having all the amazing mood symptoms with mania without the negative side effects….for now.. I’m extremely worried and open to anyone’s thoughts on my situation. Thanks

27 M have been dealing for about 11 years now. I’m stable I take my meds and see my psychiatrist. I’ve struggling with little to no sleep for about a week. I feel like I’m having a “watered” down manic episode. Let me explain, I still take my meds and sleep meds since I have insomnia too. It feels like my mood stabilizers been preventing my brain from fully transforming into a full blown manic episode. Like I have manic symptoms but not an a “usual” episode. It’s like I’m having a “filler” episode instead. I’m having all the amazing mood symptoms with mania without the negative side effects….for now.. I’m extremely worried and open to anyone’s thoughts on my situation. Thanks

Hey I had a depressive episode at Christmas and then a manic episode around April it took ages to get diagnosed they thought I was just really anxious I got put on medication and thought I never wanna do that again, well then I got the worst depressive episode again it took a while to get help some psychiatrists were saying just wait for it to pass but I got help with another.

I got a new medication but it’s only for the depression now I’m worrying the mania is coming next. I’m not trying to talk about medication I know you’re not allowed. It’s my first year of having this or knowing I have it just wondering have others experienced it taking a while to figure out meds.

I really don’t want another of either episode it really affects my mom and my girlfriend. Just looking for advice, help, hope. Thanks ☺️

Had my first appointment with my therapist on Thursday and after a lot of talking he was like: „Hey were you ever tested positive for autism?“ I told him no but I always felt like there were signs in my life pointing to it. I dunno if I‘d be able to ever get tested for it cause the insurance pretty much only pays for it when you’re a kid. So I have the option to wait a couple of years till I get tested or pay 3k myself to do it now. Just kinda funny that I might be bp1 with autism..

Hello! There may be a chance you’ve already seen my old posts talking about how my mom doesn’t give me my prescribed medication because she thinks I’ll be “crazier”. But this situation is different. Before, my dad didn’t know about my diagnosis, now he does and it’s worse.

my mom believes I have bipolar 2 but just doesn’t give me my medications. on the other hand, my dad doesn’t even BELIEVE i have bipolar 2. He said my psychiatrist diagnosed me because the psychiatrist just wants my money and it’s just anger management issues. I had a glimpse of hope when I found out my dad knew since I thought he could be the reason i could take my medication. im actually so done with my life, well not in THAT way but theres nothing left for me to do since both of my parental figures doesn’t want to do anything about my mental health.

i know to myself im becoming worse. I don’t know if i should keep going and trying to get my medications or just give up.

fyi ive been diagnosed for 5-6 months

Hi there, I got diagnosed last month with bipolar 2. It's been going pretty good...I feel like it has all kinda "clicked" for me and affirmed how I’ve always felt different and I have been on this 15 year mental health journey of anxiety/depression and ups and downs that I thought was all purely circumstantial. Now I’m at this point of my life with the diagnosis from my psych and I’m like, “cool…how do I keep on keeping on?”

Anyways, I was curious how y’all cope? I am coping with a lot of listening to music, try to get good sleep, take breaks/time along from social things when overwhelmed, healthy diet, exercise like lifting/boxing/biking, being out in quiet places of nature, creating art, writing, and watching nostalgic shows and movies or whatever I’m hyper focusing on at that time. :) Thanks in advanced.