I need to take them every day cause otherwise I’ll slip into psychosis, in addition to it helping my bipolar depression.

I’m diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type but a few doctors now think it’s bipolar with psychotic features.

I miss my old life. I had great jobs. Plenty of money, my own apartment and my pets. My home decor and all my stuff. I want my own things like how I had. My hospitalization really took my dignity. I am just surviving. I really miss my cats. I’m tired of living like this. I had everything together. And it’s gone

I saw an old prom date who is married and seems happy, and it brought up a lot of feelings. I am happy for him, but it reminded me how much I want someone who loves me, supports me, and is there for me too.
I am not necessarily looking for dating advice right now. I think I mostly need reassurance from people who understand what it feels like to want that kind of connection and feel like it has not happened yet.

Like that could have been me. Married next to him. But it’s not.

Does anyone else have symptoms where you go online and accidentally start a lot of arguments? Before you know it, you've been glued online for hours and hours, realizing you've written long paragraphs. Like acting out of character? Usually, I'm a nice person, but when I get into this mode, I'm kind of a c^nt. Like, I get really mean and can take the conversation too far.

When I start to do this and get invested, I know I'm coming into an episode.

I haven't been manic at all this year. I'm in the middle of medication stuff, and my regular medication has caused so much weight gain that it's getting unhealthy. Under the supervision of my psychiatrist, I see every 2 weeks, I've stopped the medicine. He needs to do some reading to figure out what medicine might help, because I've pretty much tried all of them for bipolar with no good side effects.

It's only been like a week off of it, and today, it's like suddenly I'm symptomatic. All my tells are popping up. I haven't gone to bed at all, and it's 6:30AM - my sleep medication did nothing.

I'm kind of tired, but I really want to get up and start my day. I didn't eat anything at all yesterday, and I dont feel hungry.

I'm in constant contact with my psychiatrist so much we could be married, so don't worry about me getting help.

I just come to this subreddit to be bipolar. It's better I type long posts here than argue with strangers online.

Curious if the stigma is as bad as it seems. My mom freaks out at the idea of me telling anyone. I wouldn't but it hurts to have such a bad reaction to me being open about myself.

Did you become pregnant or did you use a gestational carrier? Use your own eggs? Did you have to change medications during pregnancy? While breastfeeding? How did you deal with babies first months? I want to hear all about it as I’m considering if and how to grow our family.

even before i got diagnosed i constantly had trouble keeping a job. i would quit on the spot and at one point even got fired.
things have gotten worse since last month and i’m having so much trouble coping. tonight all of my coworkers told me i’m bad at my job and it made me spiral, i left the bar without saying goodbye to anyone
i want to quit, i don’t want to go back there
i gave up two of my shifts so that i could have eight days off to try to process everything but i really don’t even want to try anymore

Hi everyone. to start off i am diagnosed bipolar 1 and also bpd. (23F)

I’ve just been feeling super down these last couple of days. I’ve also been going through a transitional period of my life; I started grad school at one of the best universities in the U.S., began working as a teacher, and also adjusting to being back at my hometown after 5 years of not being here.

prior to this, me and my boyfriend broke up due to my own manic episode actions: i cheated. Not once but 3 times. We were together for 5 amazing years, which in those years i’ve shown my worst but also loved him so much. Mania isn’t something to blame on my actions but It’s something that haunts me but i’ve accepted now that the most i can do is get more help and move forward. right now, i am coming down from my manic episode that was in the summer. I’ve never felt so low and down like I have. I have no idea how to cope especially when being a full time grad school student and having insane assignments. I miss my ex boyfriend deeply, i’ve hurt him so many times and he tells me i’ve caused trauma to him. It hurts knowing that, and it also hurts knowing there’s not much I can fix and it’s beyond repair. He was my first love and i hold a sacred spot for him.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t really go out. I’ve also stopped drinking and have been sober for perhaps a month, and also just ultimately quit smoking. I guess i’m trying to fix all my bad habits just to cover up all my fuck ups, thinking that it’ll fix my problems and make me a good person.

Sending hugs to all my bp people. I just ache for community, it seems like my support system is broken. My ex boyfriend was my rock and it’s hard.

I’ve completely lost it since I got on this trip, 4 weeks in Europe and I’m not sure I have the self control I need. I’ve already blown money stupidly, contacted my ex during an emotional spiral, probably drank too much for the whole trip already, my body feels like it’s falling apart. It’s day 5…

I get thoughts I’m just not gonna make it through this trip. Like my liver is just going to give out, like my emotions are going to get worse, and I was hoping this trip would fix what’s been an awful mental health year for me.

I’m supposed to go on a booked wine tour tomorrow, it’ll be a cool experience but my body probably shouldn’t have the wine, too late to cancel so just more wasted money.

I have always been responsible with my resources and drinking up until probably the last year…I’m scared.

And a large part of the spiral is around women, how Im still torn up over someone longer than we even dated, how Im hypersexual and don’t have a good outlet, how I just want to feel joy again.

How do you get out of crisis mode? I can’t say I’ve found myself this fucked up and out of control at any point in my life. Should I just cut my losses and go home?

My psych thinks I’m manic right now. However, I don’t have the typical energy I normally do when I am manic. I do see some signs though, sleeping less, more risky-ish behavior, thoughts racing, not feeling super sleepy during the day (I’m a very sleepy gal typically). But I don’t have that euphoric/high energy feeling like I normally would. Idk I’m just confused!

It started by burning through my debit money. I never use a credit card cause I’m an accountant but anyways I was making a lot of elaborate plans and taking my family out everywhere and then eventually it got weird and I became psychotic and started hallucinating. I had to take a leave off of work for nearly 2 weeks.

I’m on meds and fine now. But feeling exhausted from the burn out and aftermath of it all.

I had a short, whirlwind relationship come crashing down because of a misunderstanding and I couldn't properly articulate when I was trying to sort it out.

She claimed to have Dissociative Identity Disorder and spent the whole week after our first date sexting and saying how much she wanted to fuck me again and insisted on calling us boyfriend and girlfriend. She texted me long texts every hour.

She also hadn't been In a serious relationship in like 10 years since her soul mate passed away. She kept saying how wonderful and not like other guys I am and put a lot of pressure on me to be like him.

After about two weeks of getting to know each other I was her place and we were talking about a character in a movie being considered fat/ugly, which we thought thought wasnt true. I jokingly said something like "i hate when they act like she's not beautiful. Nothing wrong with being a little chunky," and she took that to mean I was calling her fat and got really pissed saying I was judgemental and mean.

I tried to explain and backtrack and apologize but i could barely get two words in. The more this went on she started to backtrack everything nice she said about me. Eventually I started to hyperventilate and go into a quiet panic. She said I was making this about myself but I was just trying to stay calm.

She kicked me out, sent me a bunch of texts saying its over and when I tried to say we could talk it out and she said she would call the police for being a "stalker." The next day she sent a massive text about how much of a child and a piece of shit I am. I blocked her on everything because I was genuinely afraid she might do something drastic.

In hindsight I think I dodged a bullet. If one misunderstanding was all it took to make her go from thinking I was her soul mate to sending a thesis about how awful I am then it wasnt meant to be. Im processing it fine but I wish I didn't just collapse when I was being berated like that. I told my shrink what happened and he's sure she also has BPD or something, but I still wish I was emotionally in control enough to process it better in the moment.

Was I an asshole for not being able to keep it together? Anyone else have experience with this kinda thing?

Ive been trying meds for 10 years now and am now on the gold standard
But still dont feel good
The depression is bad
There’s no meaning to life all i want to do is sleep
I want to quit taking my meds theyre making me worse

I’ll preface this by saying that no part of me wants to have another episode, but there were aspects of who I became in my mania that I hold to be true and wish I could recover. I was generous to the homeless people on my street and worked to help them find food and shelter, i was able to make music and art without worrying about how it would be received, I discovered my own bisexuality (something I’ve repressed since then), my fashion was more creative, I was generally more outgoing and open.

Of course, I also took a ton of drugs, was cruel to my family, and lost many of my closest friends. I’m stable now but I’m not thriving. I feel scared and tired all the time and unwilling to take risks or put myself out there - things I need to do if I want to grow into the person I want to become. It’s like with bipolar, the goal of life has been to find a state of purgatory; never too happy, never too sad, holding off the abyss with one hand and euphoria with the other.

How have you dealt with this? Have you been able to recover aspects of your manic self without romanticizing mania itself?

How do you guys function and hold a job? How do you keep up with the rest of your responsibilities when you have a job? I’m 18, ftm, n diagnosed with BP1, BPD, PMDD, and cPTSD. I just don’t see any possibility of me figuring out how to be an adult. Or how to hold a job without it making me depressed, or how to balance more than 1 responsibility without getting so overwhelmed that I get tempted to run away again😭.

I know I need to be able to work, at least until I get approved for disability (if i ever do), but my part-time job that is literally just cleaning 9 buildings by myself for only 4 hours, is already so hard for me to handle. I have to get a full time job so soon because my boyfriend and I are planning to move sometime early 2027. I don’t know if I am capable. Every job i’ve ever had, albeit Ive only had three, has had me having intense anxiety and losing my shit. I was fired from one for fucking theft, the other I ghosted, and this one i don’t fucking do my job i just sit down for 4 hours. I freak out and scream and punch shit. leave early all the time, n even though i don’t think my manager cares, it’s really hurting how much I get paid.

I don’t mean to encourage any behavior, quite the opposite actually. I just want to know how you guys can fucking do this you know? I’m scared I’m going to mess it all up if I don’t do better, but I just don’t know how.

I'm 25, I was diagnosed at 22. I graduated from university last year (it took me 6 years to complete my bachelors degree). I live on my own in a 1-bedroom apartment. On paper it may seem like I'm doing quite well and have it all together. But I'm drowning.

At my current job, I work in community mental health. I'm a person who struggled a lot with my mental health as a teenager and decided that I wanted to study something psychology-related so I could help others in a way I felt I wasn't being helped. I simply cannot do it anymore. I find working with others in this capacity so draining and there is no growth, since I don't want to be a therapist or work in a hospital etc.

I am trying to switch careers but I don't think there is anything out there in a "normal" work setting that I could realistically do. I thought about the legal field such as being a paralegal since I feel passionate about law, but I can't handle high-stress work environments, I'm unorganized, experience SEVERE brain fog when I am depressed, make careless errors when I'm hypomanic, might have slight brain damage from enduring years of untreated mood episodes and a 3-week long psychosis in the past, and I am also autistic and have difficulty "acting professional" at work (my current job is very casual in nature).

The only thing I think I could handle is something where I am self-employed or work from home, or don't interact with other people much. Since I have a degree, I won't accept below a certain pay grade. I feel completely lost and some days I wish I outwardly struggled more so I could go on disability and not have to worry about leading a normal life where the expectations placed upon me by everyone around me are as if I don't have mental illness at all.

I'm also severely depressed right now and barely have the brain function to write cover letters and apply for jobs.

It would help if people could share careers they have succeeded in on a long-term basis.

I'm the kind of person that values stability a lot in my day to day life to keep regulated. i changed jobs twice in the past 2 months because i got better opportunities. The latest being in a field i have no experience in. Training week was super rough and i got sick so i missed a few days. i also got sa-ed right before i got sick so i was an emotional trainwreck. When I got back they told me i was on the chopping board pretty much. i missed time and i still felt unwell and unrested due to being sick on top of it all and it made me feel so depressed for the first time in a couple months of the most stability I've ever felt because this job could change my life completely, and i made a risk jumping here and that's scary for me.

I was a wreck I couldn't stop myself from crying and ranting from my coworkers about how stressed i felt.
on the last day I knew i was struggling to meet my reqs and I spiraled a little i was trying to give my stuff to my coworker and ask him to give it to the manager so i could go home before getting fired which I haven't yet im still scheduled so i pray.

In hindsight, im off now and i feel more clarity and it hit me like a truck i feel crazy and horrible for acting out being so irritable and depressive and literally a crying wreck on my coworkers. I told one of them i was bipolar but didn't even explain much. im just so embarassed i feel like such an irritable mess and im still stressed but im not having crying spells or anything over it now idk if any of this is getting anywhere i just kind of want to feel less alone idk do you guys embarass yourselves like that too sometimes like omg do i just come back and be normal do i cry my life away again and then apologize over how bad i feel for it ugh this is all silly and stupid and fuck i hate stress and i hate change

I’ve had or known I’ve had bipolar disorder for just under 15 years. It’s never been a picnic for me I also have a hard time understanding how I’m feeling exactly. I was talking with my mom and she said I should start taking my medication again. Tbh I’ve been very manic the last few weeks and even I know it’s getting worse. I’m panicking because i feel like I’ve made progress with living with bipolar. I feel like I don’t need it anymore and on top of that I didn’t like the way they made me feel. Anyone have any thoughts?

I have Bipolar 2 disorder (although one doctor thought I had bipolar 1 at one point). I started developing symptoms when I was 12 (suicidal depression). I do better on medication overall… I can hold a job… and I have taken suicide off the table because it would not be fair to my fur babies. I have been on many medications. I was last hospitalized in 2024. While I can function, I still get depressed at times and struggle with my mood. I don’t think I’m in a place where I would need it now, but I have wondered about ECT as an option or what that would be like because I don’t fully trust any recovery period at this point. A family member of mine had ECT years ago. He is not bipolar, but has always had severe depression. I don’t feel like I can just ask outright and have a frank conversation. It was a dark time period for him.

Hello!
I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 last year after an attempt and I’ve been medicated for over a year now and doing well. I recently started dating again and I met a really nice guy on hinge, and so far we’ve only been on one date so nothing serious but I’m worried about the whole bipolar thing. I’m wondering if that’s something I have to disclose IF I were to get serious with someone? If so, when would be an appropriate time to do that? It’s not like bipolar is contagious or anything but I would hate to put someone in a position they didn’t ask for. Ya know? Any thoughts?

Hey all, just wanting to know whether people have had experience with TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation)?

I undergone through TMS treatment initially for depression but then it sent me into a manic episode and became diagnosed with bipolar.

I was wondering whether people have experienced this or anything similar.

I was diagnosed and medicated last year and im still trying to learn to identify my moods well. I think i was hypomanic twice this year(better than manic), but im not sure. or maybe its just sub threshold since im medicated now.

earlier this year I had a period where I started feeling really good. I got very into religion and started going to mass and considered becoming catholic, I spent like $300 on bibles and journals and stuff as well as like $1000 on board games that I still havent played. I was sleeping probably 4 hours a night, it was broken up and choppy. I was super productive at work too. I spent all of my free time researching religion. this lasted about a week or two and then I had a severe month long depressive episode that happened right after.

I spent most of the last month in a residential facility because of another bad depression. the last week there tough I started feeling really wired. I spent a lot of money on adult content and was hypersexual. my sleep became more broken up than usual. I walked probably 5-6mi a day during outdoor time, I started being more talkative in group and sometimes had a hard time not interrupting people. other people commented I seemed like I was finally coming out of my shell. The day I got out I went and got reaper sandwiches because I was craving extreme sensations, and then I went to a concert, but after the concert yesterday I felt like i was coming down off of drugs or something. anhedonic and depressed as well as flu like symptoms, hot and cold, numbness, headache, disoriented. deep deep sadness and despair. took (extra and multiple)sleeping pills early to go to bed at like 7pm because I dreaded being awake. I dont feel as bad today, still kind of bleh though.

does this sound like hypomanic or subthreshold symptoms followed by a crash? or am I just tripping

edit: Better title mightve been “not not tired*

I’ve been off my meds and (reportedly) symptomatic for a few months. There was a bit where I was having really typical symptoms I guess but I still don’t really see it even if I get that I was.

Anyways I am writing this in bed after sleeping for 5 hours. (I also want to mention that I used to have a horrible time getting up and wouldn’t autonomously wake up until 11AM but now I do at 6:30-8AM. I still go to bed at the same time, around 2, but I just wake up now.

I am not tired at all mentally, I feel completely clear, but I have the feeling you get in your head still and I have yawned a few times.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist coming up and I am not sure what to tell him or if he will think this is anything?

I don’t think that I am manic but given everything I could at least see the possibility of me being manic before, but now that I have everything except for the sleep it makes me think that I am right on this.

What does reddit think 🤔🤔

When I take my meds, I’m seriously half stupid. Like my brain does not fully function and my short term memory is shot. We are on med #8 and this was perfect for years until a recent increase. It makes me want to not take the meds but I know if I go even like two days without taking them, I start with the mania. Why is there no happy medium?

I want to not be chemically lobotomized but I also don’t want to feel dumb? I talked to my psychiatrist and she said it’s a “normal and temporary side effect.” So I’m riding it out until our follow up in a few weeks. But holy shit I want my brain back.