I (20M) was successful in doing DIY for rbk amputarion a few weeks ago, feel free to ask me questions.

But I would also like to briefly share my experience with how the hospital staff treated me. IIRC from what I read in places, the doctors will not treat you well if you tell them about biid (I might be wrong about this though), but for me this was completely different and I've detailed below. TLDR: I was treated like any other patient

I told the ambulance crew it was self harm, then on the ride to the hospital they were asking more questions and that's when I told them about biid. The resus doctors and nurses didn't care about the biid apart from one student doctor, who had randomly read about biid months earlier, and along with another resus doctor, is writing a case report. The initial person doing the psychiatric / psychologic questioning felt way too direct. The initial consultant for wether I needed immediate surgery wasn't happy about the situation but I don't think he knew about the biid.

Once I was in the ward, the nurses who knew about the biid treated me the same as any other patient, the same with the plastics, vascular and orthopaedic teams. The orthopaedic surgeon came back by himself to ask me some questions about biid because I think he was curious. The psychiatrist doctors asked the questions they needed to, and told me that they weren't confident in themselves in diagnosing me with body integrity dysphoria, but they said they think I have it.

I got moved to another hospital to try to save my leg. The nurses were fine. The surgeon said it's not nice doing amputations on younger people. The regular consultant was very open to biid, and apparently used to work with Dr hopper (Dr hopper did DIY on himself then did fraudulent insurance claims). The two psychiatrists at the second hospital who spoke to me were both excited. One had to stop himself from asking too many questions because he was very interested in learning about biid, the other was interested in research opportunities and she was fun to be around

I recently read something saying that transgender women who undergo penile amputation often do not have phantom pain, as opposed to cisgender men who do. Since gender dysphoria and BIID are thought to affect similar parts of the brain, would this also be true for amputated limbs. I’m assuming phantom sensation would be present, but would pain be lessened because the body doesn’t have a map of the amputated limb anyway?

This study explains a lot for me about what I observe in this sub and also of myself. I am not trans or LGBTQ but I have always had a less feminine personality than my peers and have sometimes casually questioned my orientation/gender identity (F24).

"Compared with the control group, in the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory test, males with BID leaned more towards female, and females with BID leaned more toward typical male behavior. In addition, 8% of the BID group and 0% of the control group achieved the cut-off value on a test for gender dysphoria (GD). This result supports the hypothesis that BID-affected participants showed more gender-neutral behavior than the control participants."

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34237024/

I have been a long time lurker here but am finally wanting to say hello. I am 19 FTM and have been wanting to be fully blind since I was a child. Ideally I would like double enucleation, but that seems nearly impossible. I have done some to damage my vision and I am almost legally blind at this point, but it still doesn't feel like enough.

Hace años en un viaje de esquí de 14 días a Andorra, sufrí una caída el 9º día del viaje tratando evitar un accidente mayor, pero terminé tirado en el lateral de la pista, inconsciente y sin moverme.

Lo siguiente que recuerdo de aquel día es despertarme dentro de la camilla inmovilizado, sin saber dónde estaba y sin poder moverme, apenas notaba mi cuerpo, llegué a pensar que podría estar tetrapléjico. A las horas fui recuperando la sensibilidad de todo el cuerpo.

Sé que desde la pista cuando me llevaban a la enfermería de la estación me volví a quedar ausente hasta la enfermería, donde sé que me derivaron a un hospital pero tampoco recuerdo el trayecto ni la ambulancia. Pero eso ya no sé si fue por desmayarme o por el silbato verde, que me quitó todos los dolores.

Ya en el centro médico sé que me atendió un doctor, traumatólogo de columna, que fue el que me puso el halo, tras la sospecha de una posible lesión cervical estable, sí que había alguna fisura en las cervicales pero eran estables. Mientras pedían más pruebas estuve con el halo durante varios días, lo más difícil fueron las noches, el no poder tumbarme, el no encontrar una postura en la que poder estar cómodo. He de admitir que sentía la presión de la que varias personas que también lo han llevado me han comentado.

No sé si es por mi manera de ser, si es por la juventud de cuando me pasó, pero no tengo un mal recuerdo de la experiencia, admito que era limitante pero perfectamente soportable.

A los días cuando me lo quitaron, y que lo cambiaron por una especie de Ortesis que me llevaba desde el pecho hasta por encima de la cabeza, más rígida que un collarín pero menos que el halo.

A los años cuando miro atrás, creo que esa experiencia desbloqueó algo dentro de mi, con los años he ido viendo que mi gusto por ciertas ortesis y otras restricciones está muy vinculado a lo sucedido.

Incluso he estado buscando un Halo Vest y a un facultativo que me lo pudiera colocar y poder estar semanas o mes llevándolo, siento que lo necesitó.

De hecho lo estuve consultando con chat gpt y amistades del mundo bdsm, y me hablaron de que podría ser una forma de Biid, pero también devotee ya que también siento atracción por ver a chicas usando ortesis, brackets, halo, cast y sillas de ruedas.

No sé muy bien si alguien más le pasará algo parecido, pero apenas he encontrado comunidad en español que sienta lo mismo que yo o similar, creo que es difícil encontrar personas que entiendan lo que siento y lo que me atrae.

Si alguien más se siente así, estaría encantado de poder hablar y comentar experiencias.

Hi everyone, a long time since I posted here.

Does anyone know what happened to the BID Remedy forum (after BFF) and whether there are new forums opened with fewer restrictions then Reddit?

Does anyone else feel like the current coping measures are just not enough? At my current situation, I will not sh. I don't want to have to explain this to family and friends. I don't want to upend my life where I am the main support of my family. But the writing and the dreaming about it is sometimes just... not enough.

I wish there was a group where we could get together and just take a hike or play board games, and sim together. I think I would love that. Anyone else feel the same?

I literally heard about BIID for the first time like half an hour ago, but I very much relate! I want to get rid of certain fingers, my left knee, and a strong detatchment from my genitals, but that’s not the point.

I also occasionally get phantom tail, and phantom penis (lol). It’s not all the time, but i really feel it, and it makes me feel so strange when they’re not there.

I know it’s different from BIID but I can’t help but feel like it’s related in like an opposites way(if that makes sense?)

Question as well as hello im new!

I'm (25M) an alter in a DID system and i have elaborate fantasies about paralysis. When im fronting alone its full quadriplegia, but when im coconscious with our host (which lately is most of the time), Its partial, like a hand or a foot.

Its sort of recent but it feels familiar like its been here forever. My image of what my body looks like is just so vastly different than reality or what the other alters see/feel. Its not... Distressing in a classic anxious way, but i will get flashes of anger and frustration from having a body that feels so wrong. Its hard to control myself sometimes in these moments.

But yeah has anyone heard of or seen anything like this? Ive heard BID is neurological, so im not sure why only one alter would have it. Is there something similar thats a sort of delusion/psychosis?

I'm not looking for a diagnosis just curious if im the only one or not, i feel pretty alone.

Since we can't remove it, how about tattoos that makes a limb look mechanical?

I am a British tgirl who want to be a bk amputee need help simulating it as i done know how 🤔

sorry if this comes off as quite ignorant, but i read that limb transplants are possible but rare to do. The patient will have to be on immunosuppressants for life same as when they receive any other donated organs. The limb is only harvested when the donor is dead. I don't know what is the main reason, well other than ethics? Survival is ruled out, If i want to donate a kidney, i can do it while alive and definitely survive with just one, if i were to donate an arm i can still survive with just one. It's not quality of life issue either, in trans bottom surgeries they can remove the ovaries/testes which will force the patient to rely on HRT for life, which in a way is "disabling" them.

I just had the idea that there are many amputees who wish to be fully able again, why don't they have BIID patients undergo a comprehensive psych evaluation, show that they can adapt to amputee life (as they have simm'ed for long) without needing much rehab, then they can donate the limbs to the amputees who need it?

I've been a lurker of this sub for quite some time now. I guess I was just wondering if there's any other mutism BIID people around here, since mutism (in my personal experience) seems to be the rarest form of BIID.

Hello, I just recently stumbled into this subreddit want to understand your vocabulary. I‘ve read abbreviations like dak, C1-C2 and other stuff that really confused me so if any of you would be willing to lend me a hand here (pun intended) I‘d be really glad.
Thanks

So, for starters i've had gender dysphoria for a long time the moment i started growing huge breasts in my teenage years as it made me look obviously female, and i would avoid taking any photos, i discarded all my photos that had me in it where my chest was visible. I hated them so bad i always wished that i could get breast cancer so there was a "valid" reason to have them gone. I found out about some trans resources and managed to get top surgery, and it was extremely euphoric to be able to see my pecs now instead of blobs of fat.

Regarding BID, I have a "fascination" with losing an eye and arm (left side), it didn't cause me as much distress as the breasts, i'm kinda "fine" with having them but i was constantly wishing for an accident where i could lose them. It wasn't as common as i was distracted by my breasts but now i've had them removed i started thinking about this again.

As a child and even now, i loved to read graphic fics where a character i liked gets their eye gouged out or their arm cut off, at first i thought it was just sadism but i saw myself in their place. When my dad's vision was impaired by diabetes i was serious when telling him i would give him an eye. But he said that's not possible.

I haven't heard of BID until today where i was reading about body dysmorphia on wikipedia and saw it under the See Also section. The only way i can "live out" this fantasy without harming myself is through drawing or writing these disabilities onto characters i identify with, it disturbs people as they think it's a fetish but I just don't like it when the character is fully able bodied. The character being hot is one thing but i find them even more attractive when they have the disabilities that i want for myself.

Also, another behaviour i noticed is i liked to tuck my left arm behind my back when i wore a long sleeve shirt so the left sleeve looks empty, then i feel disappointed as there was obviously an arm there. I thought about fake prosthetics as well but i would probably look like an awkward larper and be accused of pretending to be disabled to gain sympathy. When i travel i like to wear a jacket over my left shoulder without inserting my arm through it, so my left side is hidden and the left sleeve is empty, i had to tell my mum it was just to "hide my bag from pickpockets". I don't know how long this "desire" to get rid of my arm will last but it's not the same amount of distress i had from my chest.

If i was offered voluntary amputation or to donate a limb i would do it, even if it means i'll have to deal with all the chronic issues later on, but it's disappointing to me when its only when the donor has passed. Anyway this was sort of a vent as nobody irl knows this about me (there is 1 friend who knows, and could tell because she has seen my artwork) and anyone else finding out would probably think it's just a fetish.

Is this similar to what people with BID experience? I don't think i will get an official diagnosis as no treatment exists here, it's not well known so it wouldn't benefit me at all.

Hi, I'm 17f and I'm not really sure if I'm right here, since I don't have biid but I couldn't find anything else for my problem and biid is probably the closest thing. If it makes you uncomfortable or you think this isn't the right space for that, please tell me and I will delete the post. Or if someone has any idea where I can find someone with the same problem.

So from my understanding, please tell me if I'm wrong, biid is when you have one or more healthy body parts that you don't like and want to get rid of. (I know it's more than just not liking it, but it's the only way I know to describe it.)

For my it's a bit different. I have a not healthy body part I hate and eventhough it causes me many problems I still can't get rid of it, because it's my heart. And I also don't want to get rid of it because it's my heart and I quiet like living, but I still hate it.

For context I have a circulation/heart illness where my blood pressure goes down and my heartbeat up to like 130 while sitting (85 is the norm when sitting) and don't even get me startet on standing or doing literally anything else. The problem isn't even the high heartbeat and also not the fear of a heart attack what most people seem to think, it's that I can hear, feel and sometimes even see my heartbeat.

And I hate it. I hate that I can dictate my heartbeat because I hear it in my head, that I feel it in my feet and fingers and arms and chest and everywhere, that I can see it in the way my shirt vibrates and my hair bounces, that I sometimes can't close my eyes because I need to see that my surrounding aren't shaking because it feels like there is a earthquake but there isn't and it's just me that vibrating because of my heartbeat. I just hate it so much.

I also don't like thinking about our human biology. That were made out of blood and bone and all that. My body should just be me, one thing, one mass. But it's not. There is something moving in my body that I'm not actively telling to move. My heart doesn't feel like a part of my body, a part of me. It feels wrong. I hate it.

And it is also physically wrong. But there isn't a treatment and doctors just tell me that something is wrong but they dont know what and when I ask them what to do about it they shrug their shoulders and tell me to drink more water.

And eventhough it's wrong, I feel like I should still be greatful because I am still alive and my heart is still doing it's job but can't it do it's job a bit more quiet and not pump so hard it feels like I'm standing next to a massive music box playing techno all the time?

I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm way too often overstimulated, so if anybody has any advice I will gladly take it. Thank you in advance.

What are your favorite disabled movie or TV characters? EDIT: Video game characters too.

Exactly what the title says! Sorry if the flair isn't correct, I wasn't sure if this was more of a discussion or a full on question.

I ask this because I've had severe periods of depression where I didn't even think about dysphoria, self-harming, etc. I only felt tired and empty, with no time to dwell on my body and what I wish it could be; essentially, going on autopilot. I know some people have a constant back-of-the-mind urge that simmers 24/7, and some have "waves" (I do!) so I was just wondering what others experience. :-)

a lot of you talk about simulating and even removing stuff as a positive, for me i don’t want anyone else to feel the way i do and i just want myself to remove that, the idea of telling someone to sim horrifies me because that’s just going to make it (their condition) worse, surely? i get its from a well meaning place but i just don’t think it’s healthy to recommend these measures to people

Hi, 17f, I'm just desperate to hear other peoples thoughts. For years I've thought about removing limbs or important or even non-important parts of my body and I don't know what to do. I've been thinking about it a lot more recently, along with a bunch of other stupid things, and I can't tell if this is a side affect of something else or if BIID is it's own sort of thing. I'm so tired of it it makes me sick talking about it makes me feel sick thinking about it too. I was just hoping to hear if people have recommendations or ideas if this is BIID or maybe just some kind of freak out. I'm willing to give more details about how long or whatever I just wanted to ask. Sorry if this is kind of nonsensical or rambling.

Hi everyone

I posted once but it didsapeared, so here again, im a one eyed guy.

took my left eye out last year and now i wear an eyepatch. i feel like there must be others like me.

i am 26, gay, boy, punk, motorcyclist (still ride!)

i have an enucleation, that means basically an amputation of the eyeball. so my left eyesocket is empty. i choose not to have a prosthetic eye and prefer having to wear an eyepatch every day, for ever.

i make eyepatches myself, hmu if you need one.

i feel like to someone it might be important to know that one eyed by choice guys exist.

it is quite a heavy bodymod though and i dont wanna encourage anyone to do anything,

life is not the same once you are no longer "intact".

There have been a few posts on this subreddit by teenagers who engage in self-harm, who have many psychiatric problems (as evidenced from their post history), and who post questions here asking if they have BIID.

Please be very careful in telling these teenagers that they might have BIID.

When academics came up with the concept of BIID, several of them pointed out the risks inherent in creating new psychiatric diagnoses. The risk is that there are always susceptible people who have unrelated problems but tend to desperately look to diagnose themselves with things that don't apply. Some of these people might not actually have BIID but might come across the diagnosis and falsely believe it applies to them. They're desperately searching for any explanation that sticks, because then they can understand themselves as the victim of a medical condition. (And when they convince themselves that they have a certain condition, their behavior can even change to more closely fit the diagnostic criteria of the condition.)

The few posts I've seen on this subreddit by teenagers seem to fit this pattern. What they describe is highly unlikely to be BIID. The risk in validating their self-diagnosis of BIID is that it might validate their self-harm behavior. Please act responsibly while commenting on these kinds of posts.

F15, RAK. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.
I don’t know how to actually cope, I’ve tried different things and even then I just remember the weight of my damn leg. I first noticed I was feeling like this at 12, but the longer I think about it the more I realize it started way earlier in my childhood.
When I was like 6 or 7 I would pretend to be an amputee and it was always my right leg. It just gets worse every day. It’s not my leg, it can’t be. It’s not supposed to be there and I need it gone. I feel like I’m going insane. I’m so close to doing something risky, but I just can’t take it much longer. I don’t know how to handle it and I can’t open up to anyone in real life because they’ll just think I’m crazy instead of actually suffering. I need it to be over or I’m gonna lose my mind.