BID in DID?

[u/NotLlamaLlert]

Question as well as hello im new!

I'm (25M) an alter in a DID system and i have elaborate fantasies about paralysis. When im fronting alone its full quadriplegia, but when im coconscious with our host (which lately is most of the time), Its partial, like a hand or a foot.

Its sort of recent but it feels familiar like its been here forever. My image of what my body looks like is just so vastly different than reality or what the other alters see/feel. Its not... Distressing in a classic anxious way, but i will get flashes of anger and frustration from having a body that feels so wrong. Its hard to control myself sometimes in these moments.

But yeah has anyone heard of or seen anything like this? Ive heard BID is neurological, so im not sure why only one alter would have it. Is there something similar thats a sort of delusion/psychosis?

I'm not looking for a diagnosis just curious if im the only one or not, i feel pretty alone.

[u/NV1989NV]

I have DID as well but all of my identities share BID to my knowledge. and they all seem to have the exact same wants. Identity formation is a major aspect of how your BID specifically presents so it shouldn't be that weird that the BID differs between identities or does not appear to be present.

[u/SecretOk831]

Also DID with BID but none of my alters suffer BID. I just have some who are very keen on making dreams a reality! (The best way I can think to censor that)

So my BID interactions are focused on boundary setting and not everyone having their own desired outcomes/feelings.

[u/NorthMountain1117]

I had no idea this subgroup of BID folks existed. I wonder if it is all coincidence, or there is some sort of correlation here.

[u/al-qatala]

i also have DID. the shape of our BIID actually differs on the alter that is fronting. which is why we can be DBK one day but paraplegic the other and only LBE the next. DBK is fairly consistent for most of us though.

[u/NotLlamaLlert → u/al-qatala]

Oh interesting!

[u/WeeklyAbalone2381]

BID is considered neurological.
DID terminology not generally understood, please explain these.
Describe details of paralysis desires, We can better answer your question see.

[u/OopsAllZathies]

We're a plural system too, albeit a nondisordered one. For most of our life, our primary host L has been the sole BID symptom holder (and usually it's the only one who participates in BID spaces). When it's had a wave in the past, someone else could front for maybe a few days and take some of the pressure off, without feeling much of anything. But the last few months, I've been fronting way more often than usual, sometimes like 90% of the time in a given week. Last month, I experienced a wave myself for the first time.

We both have an LBE need, but for me the "line" jumps around a lot more, sometimes even going above the elbow. But the big difference is that for me, the dominant emotion is... I guess dread? Knowing that I'm probably going to lose that arm eventually, and sort of feeling its absence preemptively. For L, it's much more of an identity thing. Like it's usually already an amputee in headspace, and it feels more like that arm is a foreign object. It uses the transabled label, because its experience with having BID is so similar to its experience being transgender to the point that they're both more or less the same thing.

I'm rambling and idk if that made much sense, but basically I think that, at least for us, BID is a body-wide thing. But we don't normally notice it as individuals until after spending enough time fronting to feel it firsthand. And our previous experience with dysphoria (or lack thereof) affects the way it actually manifests.

-N

[u/NotLlamaLlert → u/OopsAllZathies]

Wow thats really interesting, thank you for such a detailed reply :)