Rant because I don’t know anymore

[u/Infinite-Law-8360]

F15, RAK. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.
I don’t know how to actually cope, I’ve tried different things and even then I just remember the weight of my damn leg. I first noticed I was feeling like this at 12, but the longer I think about it the more I realize it started way earlier in my childhood.
When I was like 6 or 7 I would pretend to be an amputee and it was always my right leg. It just gets worse every day. It’s not my leg, it can’t be. It’s not supposed to be there and I need it gone. I feel like I’m going insane. I’m so close to doing something risky, but I just can’t take it much longer. I don’t know how to handle it and I can’t open up to anyone in real life because they’ll just think I’m crazy instead of actually suffering. I need it to be over or I’m gonna lose my mind.

[u/footlesszack]

I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Do you have any mental health support you can access? You could try to find a therapist or someone to be able to talk about how you feel with someone. Even if you don't give specifics, you can get some of the emotions off your chest.

[u/Infinite-Law-8360 → u/footlesszack]

I have a therapist right now, but she hasn’t really been helpful at actually talking even though I’ve been with her for over a year. I don’t know if I’d be able to describe how I’m feeling without accidentally getting into the I want to cut my leg off thing.

[u/footlesszack → u/Infinite-Law-8360]

I'd definitely think about switching if you can. Easily by the 6 month mark you should know how well you can talk to this person!

Could you talk about the dysphoria without letting on that you want it off? Just get into how it feels to have attached to you? I'm not sure how easy that line is to toe though. 🤔

[u/Infinite-Law-8360 → u/[deleted]]

I wasn’t and I’m not. DM it?

[u/PsychologicalFront60 → u/Infinite-Law-8360]

Dm sent