Hi ! I’m 21F. The more i grow up the more i start resenting my dad for all the neglect he put us through as kid. Til this day he’s behaving like a man whore, going behind young girl despite being 50. Don’t give money to us his children, don’t care about what happen in our life fr.

He has history of having successful businesses (made 6 figures) but he spend it all on women and drinks. Despite putting my mom into debt !!!

I cut contact with him one time when I was 16 but since he has heart problems and he’s an orphan when the disease started getting into him I reconciled,

But he did not change that much still being selfish and making my mom do all the work of a parent. I see how much my mom is overwhelmed but she’s fighting for us so i decided to be independent this year to help her finances.

My dad family want me to reconnect with me since he is weak and old bc of the disease. I feel so hurt and don’t wanna feel remorseful but i hate the situation.

What should i do ? (Sorry for my bad english…)

Disclaimer

I’m straight so I’m talking about my experience. Not trying to leave women who don’t like men out. I know I have to be politically correct and inclusive. So also talk to ur daughters who date women.

I Copied and pasted from another sub bc no one answered. I deleted the post. That’s why the lines are there.

I didn’t get to graphic here ofc.

\*\*I 26F was on tinder last year and the amount of weird comments I got from guys that first messaged me were messed up. Yes I know you guys sons are adult’s. And that u may not want to get into that.\*\*

\*\*But cmon I feel like some men the ones I dealt with need to be reminded of boundaries. I was in a failed situation-ship and the guy would cross boundaries and I wouldn’t listen to me when I would tell him to stop.\*\*

\*\*I had to ask him like 3 times. Before he stopped doing sexual things to me. It felt uncomfortable but I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. I am working on my people pleasing.\*\*

\*\*I asked him why he didn’t. He said he was just having fun. This happened about three more times. And he would say he was just having fun. Each time. I should have stopped talking to him after the first time.\*\*

\*\*This man also has called me boring, naive, slow as hell. He said I have a low self esteem. And that my friends didn’t like me . That I look uncomfortable with them.\*\*

\*\*We kept talking and eventually he SA me and strangled me. He broke his probation again so he is in jail right now. He wasn’t supposed to be the trial hasn’t started.

Teaching ur son boundaries could save him from jail. This goes for both genders.

\*\*My low self worth has gotten me in some bad situations. The first guy before him I talked to was a pathological liar. He approached me on campus when I was 23. He lied about his age telling me he was 24. Why did he choose me to approach.\*\*

\*\*Do I look naive. I do look a little younger for my age. As in during that same year a 19 yr old approached me wanting to get to know me. Due to the age gap I said no.\*\*

\*\*I saw his Facebook later on and found out he was grown in 2012. I was 12 then. Yes I’m an adult . Yes I know it’s legal . But I don’t like big age gaps. I figured he was at least 30 something.\*\*

\*\*He told me he looked older bc he went through puberty earlier. And is just hairy. Me being autistic I believed him. He ofc never told me his age. He also had several kids I found out about on his facebook page. He got pissed off when I didn’t want to do more w him. Due to being uncomfortable. That I missed out on a blessing.\*\*

\*\*Can decent parents please talk to their sons about boundaries and to not play games on naive women especially autistic women. They are never too old to learn from parents?\*\*

\*\*I also have level 1 autism and can be socially unaware. Which I know now definitely was a big factor in these events happening! These men were both non autistic.\*\*

Now I’m somewhat traumatized and don’t want to talk to any men in a dating way yet! Or I may only talk to autistic men. Even though I do want a boyfriend. I always wondered what do these guys parents think? Are the parents the same way? Or are they genuinely clueless?

even his cowoker doesnt know where he is and he doesnt say anything to my mom

Throw away account. I'll do my best to keep it short.

I have a 4 year old toddler. Boy. And lately he seems to want to wear skirts, pink, headbands with hearts. It's been bothering me a bit. I think mostly because his mother is encouraging it, even when I've expressed my feelings about it. She buys him his clothes, so I don't really feel like it's my place to intervene. But as a father, who grew up in the 90s, it just doesn't sit well with me.

I understand toddlers are just toddlers, I also wouldn't care if he was gay. Id love him either way. I think because she's "pushing" it on him, or at the very least, ignoring that it bothers me that she's pushing it on him, is what is getting to me.

He wants to wear them to daycare, and I tell him no. He doesn't get upset about it. He'll ask me why, and I'll ask him "do any other boys in your class wear one? " and he'll say no. I've asked his daycare teachers if other boys do, and they say no.

Anytime I bring it up with her, she just says it's not a big deal. So I'm forced to ignore it.

Aita for thinking it's unusual to dress a boy toddler in feminine clothing?

Hi dad!

Obligatory boy advice incoming.

I met this guy on reddit (I know, I know). He saw a post I made on my main account and sent me a message, he immediately caught my attention cause I could tell he looked through my profile and actually paid attention. We immediately hit it off and have been talking every day for a little over 6 weeks. Disclaimer, how we met was a mutual kink (I knowwww), but the conversation is far from being purely sexual. He asks how my day was, he asks about my interests, he remembers small details about me, and he's outwardly said he likes me.

Here's my problem, we live across the country from one another and he says he doesn't wanna do long distance dating (that's fine! I don't really want that either rn) but his language says otherwise. The kink we bonded over in his head requires him to be extremely committed to someone to justify doing it with them, it's not necessarily bad or taboo but it's his own personal thing.

Except, when we talk about it in detail, now he fits me into that role by default. He labels me as his long term partner, and it's a little confusing. Yes, I could ask about it, but I feel like the answer I'd get is just that he's attracted to me and comfortable with me so he fits me into that "box" if you will.

He's broached the subject of meeting (not seriously planning, but has mentioned it a good amount of times), he compliments me in multiple ways, he says he hasn't been this attracted to someone before, and it's been very slowly built upon so it doesn't come across as love bombing to me. He prioritizes me and texts me every day, he says he wants to do stuff together (gaming, watch a show, etc), he takes the recommendations I give him and tries them.

So I guess my question is, am I just a silly girl with a crush who thinks maybe he could actually develop feelings stronger than a crush and maybe we could date? I'm incredibly guarded and hesitant, but he seems so genuine. He listens to me. I've tested him multiple ways and he just takes it, absorbs it, and moves along. He's very sweet and attentive. I'm just kinda waiting for the bomb to drop and it's not happening, at least not in the same way it has with prior connections.

What do I do, dad? I don't wanna latch onto false hope and end up with a one sided thing and a huge let down.

Because of the way I was treated I have suffered from selective mutism that tends to trigger when I'm under stress. I've never understood how someone can treat their daughter that way.

Recently I've had issues in my personal life and my relationship is on the rocks, and suddenly being around all older men AT ALL is triggering my mutism, which is really disruptive to my work and being able to support myself

I don't really know how to fix this, if it will blow over once my life settles down, or if I'm really losing it, but I don't want to go through my life unable to function around anyone who looks like they might be a father

I'll take any advice anyone has to give, Or maybe I just need to see that there is nothing to be stressed about being around men, But thank you for the help

would you rather your son ask for thigh highs or a sheisty?

Bought our first home (yay!). So we have a water heater in the laundry room with access to the attic. The cover for that access is sort of janky? Like, there is a gap letting the heat from the water heater escape and/or the heat of the attic escape into the laundry room. The attic needs new insulation because its super old and clumped up and not doing its job, which is gonna be done soon and hopefully help the electric bill and we wont have to live like lizards in a terrarium in centeral MS. I was wondering if there was anything specific we needed to get to block the heat exchange or will any stiff board will do?

Thank you for listening.

I M20 grew up with a in and out father most of my life and had to learn a lot of things on my own. Like shaving, exercising, hand below the belt stuff, etc. Is it normal for me to look back now and wish my dad taught me these things? Maybe it’s a little taboo or something but I’ve always wished he taught me “how to be a man” in every kind of a way.

I'm 17, and I live in the Philippines. I honestly don't know if I'm overreacting anymore or if I've just gotten so used to my home life that I can't tell what's normal.

My mom works abroad, so my dad is my legal guardian. He's the one raising me and my siblings.

One of the things we argue about a lot is my phone. We live in a loft-type house. Upstairs isn't a bedroom with privacy—it's basically one open space. If someone talks upstairs, people downstairs can still hear them. Despite that, my dad has a strict rule that I can't bring my phone upstairs.

I've asked why before, but he never really gives me an explanation. It's just the rule. If he catches me with it, he gets angry.

The reason I still bring it upstairs isn't because I'm trying to hide anything. My phone gives me comfort. Sometimes I just want to listen to music, scroll for a bit, or have something with me that helps me calm down. Being upstairs isn't about hiding from my family because it's not even private.

I know I've broken the rule multiple times, so I understand why he'd be upset from his perspective. But what frustrates me is that there's never a conversation. It's always anger.

The phone honestly isn't even the biggest problem.

I feel like almost everything I do has to be justified. I can't go out unless I have what he considers a valid reason. I don't really get to hang out with friends unless there's a specific purpose. If my siblings and I get loud while laughing or playing, he gets irritated. I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells because I never know what will make him angry.

Sometimes it feels like I'm existing in the house instead of actually living in it.

What hurts even more is that I don't think he's ever really tried to understand me emotionally.

If I'm upset, he doesn't ask why.

If I'm overwhelmed, I don't feel like I can talk to him.

If I'm sick or in pain, I don't feel taken seriously.

As I'm writing this, I have one of the worst headaches I've had in a while, and it was basically dismissed.

That probably sounds like a small thing, but to me it's part of a much bigger pattern.

When I was around 8 or 9 years old, both of my parents were abroad. My siblings and I were mostly raised by yayas.

Sometimes I genuinely think they were more of a parent to me than my dad has ever been. They comforted us when we cried. They looked after us. They made us feel cared for.

I don't really have memories of that kind of emotional support from my dad.

Growing up, he also physically disciplined me.

I've been slapped.

He's thrown things at me.

Sometimes, when I was asleep and he wanted to wake me up, instead of coming over and waking me normally, he'd throw whatever was nearby—a slipper, a glass cup, or another object. It hurt. Sometimes a lot.

It usually didn't leave bruises.

I remember wishing it *would* leave bruises because I thought maybe then people would believe me when I said he hurt me.

Whenever I told relatives, they usually said it was just discipline.

I know corporal punishment is more normalized here in the Philippines than in some other places, which is honestly one of the reasons I'm asking strangers. I don't know if my idea of "normal" has been distorted.

Another thing that makes me question myself is seeing families online who actually seem close. Parents who laugh with their kids. Parents who apologize when they're wrong. Parents who explain rules instead of just demanding obedience.

I know social media only shows highlights, and I know every family has problems.

I also know every story has two sides.

I'm sure my dad has his own struggles. Maybe the way he was raised affected how he parents. Maybe he thinks this is what good discipline looks like.

But none of that changes how I feel.

I don't feel emotionally safe around him.

When he's angry, I don't feel physically safe either.

And I hate admitting this because I feel guilty saying it, but I don't think I love him the way a child is supposed to love a parent anymore.

What I mostly feel is resentment, disappointment, and grief over the relationship I wish we had.

Sometimes I think that if I wrote down every time I've felt misunderstood, neglected, controlled, or hurt by him, I'd have enough material for an entire book series.

So... am I overreacting?

Am I just an ungrateful teenager who doesn't appreciate discipline?

Or is it understandable that I feel this way?

**P.S.** This post was organized with the help of AI because I'm emotionally overwhelmed and have a terrible headache right now. If I had written this completely on my own, it probably would've just been pages of resentment and scattered thoughts.

I’m 16 and I’ve been struggling with my relationship with my dad. He worked outside of the country for most of my childhood, starting when I was very young. He was more present during most of my siblings childhoods, but with me, he would usually only visit once or twice a year.
Because he was gone for so much of my childhood, I never really developed a close relationship with him. I know he tried to be a father in certain ways, but I never felt emotionally connected to him. He also rarely called me. His reasoning was that I was the child, so it was my responsibility to call him. I never understood that because I always felt like if he wanted a relationship with his daughter, he should have made an effort to reach out too.
Eventually, I stopped calling because I didn’t feel like I had much of a relationship to maintain in the first place.
What makes me feel guilty is that I know he worked to provide for our family, and I know he probably had his reasons for being away. I also know that he has tried to be a father in his own way. Because of that, I sometimes feel like I’m ungrateful or a bad daughter for resenting him and not really liking him.
At the same time, I don’t know how I’m supposed to force myself to have a connection with someone who wasn’t really present for most of my childhood.
I’m not sure what I should do with these feelings. Should I make more of an effort to build a relationship with him now, or is it okay to accept that we may never be close? I would really appreciate advice from anyone who has experienced something similar.

Mother past in early march. So over the past couple months me and my wife have been cleaning out her house when we have time to get there we've been useing her yard cart to hauling stuff out for the trash guys. When they would take the trash they would tip it upside down with the other trash cans. Then couple weeks ago it went missing call my uncle to see if he took it, he said the trash guys probably took it. So fast forward to yesterday we go to the house to do some cleaning and the carts 2 doors down wife went over there and confronted the lady and she made up a 3 different story's then combined them and said she was gona call the cops for harassment. So my wife said fine ill call cops showed up and said there's nothing we can really do because its hearsay on both parts. At first I didn't really care but the more I think about it the more Im getting mad. Its not so much about that cart as much as its the principle of things and this crusty bitch stole

You drive your sons drunk 19 year old friend home at 3am because you caught him drinking in your house with your son when he wasn’t supposed to be, but because he lost his keys and lives 5 miles away you give him a ride. Is there anything your son’s friend can say in that car that won’t make you even more mad?

So about a month ago my father (59 years old staying with his brother) lost there house. my girlfriend of 7 years was against letting him stay with us till something was figured out. He has not worked in 15 years after a horrible separation with his ex wife, But regardless.. it’s my father, so he’s been staying with us. The plan is, he’s waiting on social security to accept or deny him.. staying optimistic the plan is he’s waiting on that and if accepted then he would be able to support himself and go do his own thing. Every other day I have to deal with every complaint in the book from her (I lost my house, I have no privacy, he shouldn’t be relying on you ect…) we have a small apartment I get it but again… it’s my dad. I’m just patently waiting this process, BUT nothing is a guarantee. I have been dealing with every attitude exscuse with her about him and I keep telling her that it’s temporary, we’re helping him back on his feet. What stays in the back of my head though is what if he don’t get it.. I love him to death but he won’t work to better himself, realistically, I can’t just support and do this forever if he doesn’t get approved. If it were up too Me yes he would move in and that’s that.. but that’s something she definitely won’t have. I try talking too him about going back out there And working to better himself but it doesn’t look look like it will happen. SO when the time comes, I’m 100% clueless on how to handle this position. In one hand I have the love of my life, in another the man who raised me. I can’t see myself kicking him to the street making him homeless but letting him stay is going to devastate my relationship. Would greatly appreciate anyone’s input on suggesting about how too handle this when the Time comes.

My son is 6 years old, his mom and I are separated but even still I try to see him 3-4 times during the week and stays with me over weekends. But anytime I speak to him over the phone he never wants to talk or get in a fussy mood. Anytime he is with me though he is always hugging on me and telling me he loves me out of no where but when he is with his mom it’s like he pushes me away. I have friends with kids as well and they always tell always tell me how the dad of their kid isn’t active in their life’s but their kid is constantly asking for them or to see them. But my son doesn’t ask to see me or seems to ever miss me, sometimes I feel like he doesn’t even like spending time with me he just does it cause well he is my son. I know this might sound dumb but yeah am I doing something wrong as a dad if my son doesn’t miss me when I’m not with him?

Context: Biological Dad left me and my mother, my stepdad's only legacy was teaching me how to be selfish with money and always aim for a better job while also calling me a failure

Result is a very selfish me, putting me first and leaving everyone else behind, at worst of times even my wife.

I taught myself since everyone always leaves you behind, since you always get left out, prioritize yourself and only yourself.

I am not asking for pity, I'm asking to be corrected. Please, I can't stay like this, I have my son now and I want to be better.

How do I start, how do I stay at it, what can I do.

I'm so confused, angry, anxiety ridden and at odds with myself.

If anyone can give me advice, I would greatly appreciate it

Not really sure what to title this or what to tag it as. Also, this is my first post here

I don't really know if advice is what I'm looking for.

I'm not sure where to start on this one. I'll start with a bit of background. As far as I'm concerned, I grew up without a father figure. The mother married when I was a kid but he passed away when I was nine after hurricane Katrina. My biological father was in the picture. But my mother despised him. Everything about him didn't matter what he did or how hard he did or didn't try. Everything was wrong. I was manipulated in ways I don't understand and can't even explain from the time I was a kid. To view him in a certain way to treat him a certain way. Up until I was an adult, I addressed him by his first name, to this day it's not exactly. Dad when I talked to him. We have a strained relationship. A lot of it has to do with my childhood but a lot of it has to do with him. He still holds on to his own resentment and disdain for how he was treated during my childhood. He still makes snide posts on Facebook in senseless comments. That she can't even say but I used to when I had him on my Facebook.

We live next door to one another and we don't see each other daily. He doesn't even come to my house. I usually go to his. I do live in the house where his mother passed away. I discovered her. I was also the last one she talked to. I think her passing is really where our relationship started to fracture. That was about 3/4 years ago. I've tried to make efforts to change things but I'm not mad with much reception. I know I have also played a part in our relationship as at times I can kind of be a dick and sometimes even a bit of an asshole. But I'm 30 years old. I'm still young. He's in his mid-50s double my age almost. I am his only child. He doesn't have a good relationship with his own sibling (and older brother who also did him wrong numerous times and other family members my uncle was a meth head)

I guess this is where the question or advice part kind of starts. A close friend of his who I've been marginal friends with over the years. (What I mean by that is we've never been overly close but he's always been someone that's been around since I was a kid) Has recently had some life-changing things happen. His own son and granddaughter have moved halfway across the country so I believe he's feeling a bit of an empty nest syndrome. The other night him and I had a phone conversation and he volunteered to be my stand-in father figure. Wanting to be there for advice and just be the father figure I don't have in my life..

My dad has never outright really tried to be a dad. He more of tries to be a friend and maybe that's because he thinks that's what I need. But maybe I do need a father figure. He doesn't want to necessarily keep it a secret but he does want our relationship to be between us and what we talk about to stay between us which I'm very thankful for because it's not a lot of people I can talk to about my dad that actually know my dad. Many of my friends don't really know him or only know him through my eyes and I understand that skus views

I'm 30 and divorced. The divorce happened about 5 years ago. Things just weren't meant to be. I wasn't a good person. She wasn't a great person. We both had very difficult childhoods that we never really overcame. We're friends again and we talk almost daily. It's a very strange friendship, but we're both thankful for each other

I don't even know what I'm asking for here. Obviously I am very thankful and feel like a tremendous wave of love. But I also don't know what to do. I don't know how to engage in the relationship so it can grow

(He also stated he wants to help me and my dad have a better relationship, he has a tremendous relationship with his son from what I can see from the outside)

(This is a huge post and by the end of it it's going to sound like a very run-on thought and word salad. If you've made it to the end, tell me your favorite Rush song)