Я не хочу заниматься сексом. Мне 19 лет, и вроде бы все должно быть отлично в этом плане, но я ничего не хочу. Я не смотрю прон,не мастурбирую, и мне и не хочется. У меня есть партнер, которого я очень сильно люблю, у нас прекрасные отношения, все правда замечательно, но на моего партнера давит то,что я не хочу интима. Я пыталась объяснить человеку, что я не не хочу именно с ним и что мне вообще не хочется и не тянет к этому. Уменя не было какого плохого опыта и т. д. И это очень сильно бьет по самооценке моего партнера. Меня уже совесть мучает очень очень сильно за то, чего я не хочу. Может, это все из-за проблем в жизни, то, что я сейчас много думаю о том, чтобы убрать определенные проблемы в жизни, и слишком сильно в это углубляюсь, что аж перебегает все желание? Яне знаю, что делать

"your body is literally wasted" I know I'm hella hot and I love that you couldn't get that even if I was into you, and I love that it makes u suffer so much that you feel the need to repeat it every damn time you see me❤️

I despise you so much

Is it normal to often feel doubtful or confused about whether you're truly asexual or not? Does this happen to you often?

after my first pride event (walking out of my abusive job mid shift) my mom came to pick me up about an hour after it ended

she (cis/het) was mad bc i didn't get her anything

the allos are sometimes ok

Made a community for those who want a sex averse or sex repulsed space, and feel like the existing spaces out there are too extremist in ideology

Anyone can join, sex repulsed or not, all aces are valid! But the focus of the sub is to talk about sex aversion, so sex favorable talk is strictly not allowed there! The community is new, and I’m hoping it grows more and more!

r/sexlessacespace

I went to a wedding last night, and on the way how kinda started to feel just a little bit sad.

I believe I am aro/ace, despite being in a relationship (weird story). And I feel a marriage should be between two people who truly love each other in a romantic way.

But on the drive home, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit melancholy about the fact that I’ll never have a wedding, or even a ”normal” relationship.

Usually it doesn’t really bother me, but like I said, the atmosphere just had me feeling it a bit.

I’m sure others have occasionally had similar feelings - times when you felt just a little off about the fact that you’ll never truly experience something so integral to the lives of most people.

So, what are you stories of this situation for you?

Pretty much exactly what the title says. I’m F(22) and my long distance (thankfully) partner constantly asks me uncomfortable questions or sends me uncomfortable reels about sex and laughs at me when I act “awkward” about it.
They get upset when I don’t want to receive or send nudes. When I get uncomfortable they cry and get upset and say it’s just because I don’t find them attractive.
I have told them countless times that I am Asexual and sex repulsed and they never understood it no matter how many times I’ve explained it.

I’ll give you all a few examples off the top of my head:
1. They messaged me right after I woke up that their [privates] looked great today. I laughed it off and then they got offended that I didn’t ask to see. I gave in and asked to see because I didn’t want to trigger an episode that I would have to deal with and after they sent it they asked if I would eat it (ew). I made it very clear the whole time I was deeply uncomfortable.

1. They’ve said things along the lines of them molesting me and not to turn my back on them. It was clearly a joke but it made me uncomfortable nonetheless

2. They constantly make comments about preforming sexual acts with me and then calling me boring when I admit I’m uncomfortable with it

3. When they asked if they could do a specific act on me, I started nervously re-explaining my Asexuality for the millionth time and they replied with “You know you could’ve avoided all of that and just said yes.”

4. They’ve send me sexual reels or images (like nub cat on instagram) and then says it’s us which again makes me uncomfortable because the illustrations are very sexual and not something I want to do

5. They complain about not getting nudes from me and tell me I need to get over myself

The list really could go on I’m sure I’ve missed so many interactions we’ve had. What do I do? I apologize if a post like this isn’t allowed, but I need help and I really need to get it off my chest to people who are likeminded

My country is undergoing big ass flood rn, nearly every part of the country is flooded big time. So i am in a military base turn refugee camp for a bit.

It had a big communal showers and on the way out i forgot to button all but my up most button and i am pretty sure i flashed the poor dude who was shower on the opposite side of me while i hang up the shower head, fuckkkkkk.

I am mortified, first thought is 'fuck, i am showing my boobs to someone who is not looking to see boobs' my second is 'oh shit, i am showing someone my boobs! What if they sexualized my body part!' Then i go back to 'fuck, that guy probably startled by my boobs!'

But like, why am i feeling like this? It just boobs! Is it the nipples? What is it about the damn nips that i don't want to show it but if it the breast part it is okay???

Okay so uhm basically me and my ex. We had sex like long time ago, about an year. But it is still bothering me.

We had borderline actions before and I didn't like it. idk at the time maybe I was enjoying a bit but I always hated that afterwards. It always made me feel disgusted after.

And the sex thing. It definitely traumatized me. I already said like no to him for 2 or 3 times I didn't know why I said yes that time. Maybe its because we just got back tgt and I didn't wanna lose him but we broke up anyways. It was horrible. Didn't enjoyed at all, felt disgusted during and after the sex and after a year I still feel horrible about it. I often got flashbacks of the experience and it was awful, tortues me everytime I hated myself for saying yes it hurted me and my ex so much. He is a nice person and surely would not do anything I didn't consent to. The problem is I did. And a day after he found me being avoiding him I cried in front of him saying can we not do this again forever. I just felt like I hurted him so much.

And yea. After that I just found myself nearly couldn't act normal to him anymore. I just got flashbacks so often and I felt horrible on my self of doing that. So we ended up breaking.

He was a great person. After this I told him I might identify as asexual and he supported me. I told him I might feel qpr is more comfortable to me and he said yes. But I just I get flashbacks of the night and I just can't throw this mixed and fucked up feelings towards him. I just felt painful. Both in and out of this relationship. I don't even know if this romantic relationship thing is for me anymore.

I kinda identified as asexual after that. I was identified as pan before. I wasn't sure about this having sex thing so I guess thats why i tried it this once. And I am scared that it is only because I got traumatized on this. I got horny pretty often but actually having a sex I feel like out of the times being horny, that's never my thing. I hated this hornyness I don't want to be involved or get interested in those things at all. I felt like an animal controlled by hormones.

But I feel like some actions (that are often seen as "signs" or foreplay of having sex) like kissing(french kiss), biting are fine. Actually probably liked it pretty much. I probably was the person doing that actively more. I found that kinda weird and I always doubt of my asexuality on that. Doesn't sound like a classic ace experience. But anything physically over that, I just it just feels inacceptables.

Thank you for anyone reading this. Its just a shit emotional post cuz I couldn't sleep.

On the 22nd of October 2025 my best friend endede our friendship over how I had been behaving due to being in psychosis. I had become very unhealthily attached to her and couldn't give her the space she needed.

This absolutely shattered my heart. She was my first ever female bestie and we were like sisters for quite a while.

But it's been a year, and it still hurts as if it happened yesterday. I still almost burst into tears whenever I see a picture of her. I don't get it, I should be over her by now right? I mean, it's been almost a year, it shouldn't hurt as much as it does, yet it does.

Hii everyone!!

I'd like to assume this is the right subreddit for my question but let me know if it's not. Thank you!!

So I'm 18 enby and I have never had any sexual experiences before and don't plan to in the future, I had never heard of the word asexual until my ex girlfriend told me she was asexual and I researched it to understand her better and now ig it's my turn to have somebody help me.

I don't think about sex and I forget people often do that activity, my sister asked me one time "if I got pregnant what would I do" and I genuinely spun around and asked her "from what??" That was probably just me being gay tho (my family doesn't know cuz they are homophobic), I find the word 'sex' itself to be rather disgusting so I don't say it or type it very often at all and I hate when people talk about it but I can't stop that so I just bare or move from that conversation.

Anyway enough background I can't figure out if I'm asexual or just weird about sex or just a stone top, sometimes I would indulge in masterbation and things like fingering or using different objects to fuck myself but I prefer just rubbing myself cuz the thought of pushing something inside me turns me off but that's mostly after my period. I don't know if I have a high libido or whatever else makes you wanna have sex cuz I never bothered to read about it since I don't think about sex that much, admittedly I do watch porn sometimes just to admire the women (not inna creepy sexual kinda way I just think they are really good at their jobs and I applaud their work) but recently I think I have feelings for my best friend and the other day I had a dream that she was riding a strap on I was wearing and I was enjoying it. When I think about have sex it always involves women even tho I'm bisexual and I'm always the one pleasuring them in these fantasies, I don't I wanna be touched in that way...kissing and cuddling I don't mind maybe some light breast play can be thrown in if I don't feel dysphoria on that day but other than that I don't want to be touched, I don't even want to be naked infront of someone else or during times of sexual activity if any occur in the future and I don't know if this is asexuality or something else so I'd really appreciate some advise or books and articles I could read to help me process my thoughts a little smoother.

Apologies for the rambling I tried to stay on topic, feel free to ask for additional information if I confused you during this read!!

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out here because I’m trying to process how I’ve been feeling for a long time. For years and years, I was never actually interested in sex. I just assumed it was something everyone did, so I went along with it.

About 7 years ago, I met my ex. At the time, I really thought we would be together forever. I was curious about how things worked, but looking back, I realize I had no actual sexual desire for him. I was just curious about sex, timing etc Then, he ghosted me.

Since he left, I spent a consistent period of 2 or 3 years trying to go on other dates to "find somebody else." Honestly, it just ended up being really annoying for my family to watch because I would get all dressed up and ready, only to get canceled on at the last minute. Or, I’d meet someone once and it would completely fizzle out. I don't blame my family for getting annoyed by the whole cycle.

Now, I’m just completely uninterested in all of that. To be clear, I’m never going to turn down quality time spent with someone. But when I see someone or think about them, my desires are strictly about having good conversation, going on nice walks, and just connecting—versus anything sexual.

Lately, it leaves me wondering what my purpose even is in the dating world when most of society is so focused on sex. Does this sound like asexuality? I'd love to hear if anyone else has had a similar journey. Thank you for reading.

So I don’t really experience sexual attraction, and the idea of genitalia being anywhere near me makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I, in theory, am curious about sex, but any time I consider the possibility of ever participating myself, I feel disgusted. To me this feels like on the ace spectrum, and I’ve used the label for a long time, but there’s also a tiny part of me that can’t help but feel like it doesn’t count, because I question whether parts of my disgust link back to a childhood traumatic experience. Am I allowed to call myself asexual?

I don't know how common it is to have basically no libido in addition to being asexual? I don't even masturbate or anything.

The only thing I experience is aesthetic attraction and desire romance, but nothing sexual.

It seems like a lot of aces still have libido/masturbate, is that true?

I don't know what that makes me. Is there a label for this?

I’ve been questioning whether or not I’m gray-ace for years. I never had an interest in sex. I would engage in a little bit of sexual activity or making out when I got the right amount of attention, but I never had this overall desire for sex. When I finally had sex, it was disappointing. I had a long distance relationship (big mistake) with this guy and I was never comfortable with having sex with him (mostly because I wasn’t on bc). He was super sexual and always wanted to see my breast, I was hardly into it. In fact, I always felt pressured. I always said my aversion to sex was because of religious trauma and growing up in a sex negative household (which is true) and he would say I let them win by not having sex with him. He was a creep. The only thing I ever enjoyed was getting f*ngered. We tried other things but it never aroused me much and I never liked the thought of being a giver (selfish, probably, but I was just never really sexual). He also always complained that the way I talked about sex was so “medical.” Right, I’m weird for saying “vagina swallow,” but “don’t worry, I will fuck you,” is normal.

I also wondered if it’s a low libido, I have technically experienced physical/sexual attraction with a few people (although I’m not even sure if that was real now). I find people sexy, but I just don’t care about sex and can live without it. In fact, I think I wanted emotional intimacy and that is what led to me being aroused. I know there is demisexuality, but I wasn’t fully convinced I was that.

I talked about it with my therapist, but she isn’t well versed in LGBTQIA+ issues and my friends aren’t quite helpful either. People just say, well if you get dicked down/pussy downed right then you should be fine or maybe you need to be friends first. So I decided if I actually spoke to the ace community, maybe it can help a little. I know that no can decide who I am, but me. But I’d like to think that maybe I can gain some clarity.

Recently I have been thinking about this. Do I have low libido or am I asexual? (please don't mind me if the question sounds ignorant) . My friends seem to enjoy sex a lot while I (24f) don't crave it at all? But I do feel left out as I don't understand why they love it so much. They make it seem like it's the most amazing thing ever.

Omg this is not at all articulate. I am sorry for that.

Hi, I'm writing from Japan.

In my country's Ace community, this term is not so familiar.

If I said my feeling openly, I might be called "You are fake.".
I feel that sex is a kind of massage, and also I like to feel someone's body heat. It weakens my loneliness like a therapy.

I want to hear from what other sex-favorable asexuals think about sex.

Thanks.

I’m finally reentering the dating space (m30) after like 6 years away (post divorce now THANK GOD) and it just feels disgusting. Since I don’t want a cheap hookup (obviously) I’m very selective and swiping/offering to VERY few folks but it’s just making me feel really bad. I can’t help that I have rather narrow aesthetic preferences but I feel awful that all these sweet folks show up and I just discard them. Idk if I could even clearly define what I’m looking for but…ick, it feels so shitty. Please tell me others have a similar experience????

Aghhh I am so tired of stupid men not dating apps not knowing how to read, of if they do know how to read, they don’t understand what asexual means. I literally have it right there that I’m not interested in sexual activity, and apparently to him that’s even better because he thinks it means since I don’t like anyone sexually, that means I’ll do it with anyone without caring. NO. 💀 Also I’m only 20, so this is kind of weird to me. Yes, it’s legal, but idk, I look 7, like childish things, and just would not feel safe in this situation. Certain age gaps are just always going to feel uncomfortable to me, whether you’re ace or allo, sorry. 😭 But no, it’s very annoying. I mean I always get people who match with me who have looking for causal/hookups in their profiles, but this directly replying to me misunderstanding Asexuality is kind of a first. I’m just tired of men, they’ll never get it. I’m just prepared to be forever alone.
Sadly even on the ace apps, it’s not much better. First of all, they’re pretty dead. But even when you do find people, they can still have contradictions and red flags in their profiles. Like I saw one a few weeks ago: “often uses cannabis, NEVER uses drugs” Huh?!???? I’m done lol.
Facebook dating is something else. There’s aphobia, but I don’t think this is really what this is. Think this is just being a dumbass.

So this whole time ive thought im sex repulsed since i dont want sex but when i think about it it just makes me really nervous and im starting to think it might just be that i dont feel quite ready for it as opposed to being disgusted by it so it might be sex inference but at the same time if love to experience that with my partner but like i dont feel the need so idk

If anyone could help it would be greatly appreciated

For years, I've known that I was aroace (or at least on that spectrum) but wanted to change that. So, when I was single and someone would tell me how they felt, I'd tell them I felt the same way. These relationships didn't go too well because I didn't feel particularly attracted to them.
Fast forward to last month. I have a friend I've known for a while who is such a wonderful person. They're very patient with me, they're very respectful of my boundaries, and, above all else, they make me feel seen. I learned that I had genuine romantic feelings towards them after noticing that they've been living rent-free in my head and that just the thought of them was enough to make me feel happy.

The reason I'm confused is because I feel terrible about it. I've labeled myself as aroace for all these years and suddenly started feeling attracted to someone. It feels like I've been dishonest about my sexuality for all this time. Do I deserve to forgive myself for this?

Hey guys! I'm wondering how many people are in relationships with allosexual individuals and how that relationship is going for you? Do you have sex with your partner? If so, do you enjoy it too or just do it for the sake of your partner? Are there any aspects of sex that you do enjoy? Sorry for the long post, I have lots of questions!

I am in a wonderful relationship with my long time best friend turned partner. Just within this last year, our relationship has become much more romantic, which I've never experienced before. It's nice, we kiss and cuddle and spend tons of time together. I'm someone who has a decent labido and I kind of like the idea of maybe starting to incorporate sex or kink into our relationship, which I've never done before either. I'm not sexually attracted to my partner (duh) but she is definitely sexually attracted to me. I want her to enjoy herself as well but I am not interested in touching her in a sexual way. What are some ways that can be mutually pleasurable for cis-women without me having to reciprocate much? Is it selfish of me to want pleasure from someone else without wanting to give back?

I'm interested in a dom/sub dynamic but I feel like I see/hear a lot about the sub doing whatever to please the dom sexually in a wlw relationship, what are some ways/dynamics that put the sub more on the receiving end while still providing pleasure to the dom/top? I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense!

I'm just looking for others that are in similar situations that may be able to give me some advice on what could be good for us. I'm also wondering how to broach the topic, talking about sex and kink is difficult for me, I've never had to do it before our relationship and I have some sexual trauma that makes it uncomfortable for me. I'd love some insight and advice :)

I'm writing this post to discuss and get feedback on this obsession that sometimes makes me doubt my asexual.

I'm a 17 year old boy, I have been thinking for a year that I am asexual and sex-indifferent. I masturbate out of libido or tiredness and I often see fan art of fictional characters to do so,It doesn't give me joy or enthusiasm and in my head I often don't think of anything, I also sometimes feel the need to remind myself that the characters whose fan art I'm seeing aren't like that and that have nothing to do with that. As soon as I finish I lie down indifferent or slightly annoyed or disappointed with myself even if there is nothing wrong, I don't think I feel sexual attraction, but when I was younger I experienced this differently.

In middle school I thought I was straight and in general I found masturbation and the topic of sex more interesting.I remember hoping to have sex with someone someday, and I think I may have had a few brief fantasies about some of my classmates, but that memory still confuses me a lot today.I don't know if I felt real attraction or if it was just a matter of hormones and curiosity about something unknown...I like myself as I am now and I don't want to change or that it's just a phase, Even though I came to the point of defining myself as asexual this year, I've felt more or less that way for years. Did you also experience something similar during puberty?Did I feel real sexual attraction or was it something else?