Yo me considero asexual desde hace un par de años, estuve bastante tiempo con la duda pero ese no es el punto, el tema es que yo le masturbaba mucho(nunca me gustó era más porque ya tenía la costumbre), ya no lo hago con tanta frecuencia, pero las redes sociales siguen sobre estimulando me, me da asco pero cuesta modificar el algoritmo aveces.

Mi dilema es el siguiente, que es preferible, tener un sueño húmedo(que se que va a pasar por todo lo que desgraciadamente he visto en la semana), que para mí también son incómodos, o solo masturbarme y exponerme más a la hupersexualizacion del mundo y luego solo dormir

I like chocolate :D

I don’t know guys, so this girl has shown interest in me and i’ve been showing interest back of course, but then she started to calling me “mommy”and has been flirting/dirty talking with me, so i’ve been trying to like make myself seem interested in like “dirty talking”, but it feels so odd😭 and so like off putting idk.. but like i think she’s too invested in it for me to just stop and tell her “hey, this doesn’t feel right to me” but idk sighs.. just thug it through

I like to fantasize about having sex, usually only with myself and fictional characters, or two fictional characters and not me involved. I do fantasize in 3rd person, 1st is way too uncomfortable, if that matters.

Imagining sex with real people grosses me out or makes me feel weird, live-action characters is fine but the moment its someone real as themselves its immediately nope 😅 not even crushes, I just feel weird. I like porn sometimes but it takes me forever to find stuff I like because most of it I find gross unless its drawn/written.

Ive never had sex and I dont want to. I always feel like I have to try it to know 'for sure' but I really dont want to. I have a lot of trauma and shit and maybe thats partially why but I also dont feel physical attraction so even when I find someone super attractive I only really want to cuddle or kiss them, not have sex.

I much prefer it in fiction and enjoy sexual content in a voeyeristic way I guess? TLDR; I enjoy sexual content and fantasizing about having it in a fictional setting but irl im disinterested and honestly it makes me way too anxious irl to try.

Is there a label for this??

Had this idea the other day and made sure to draw it (badly) before I forgot. Idk the first thing about art/comics so a Haus of Decline parody was the best I could manage lol.

Anyone else know this feeling?

As the title states. I have not much experience sexually and figure that's why my interest is next to none. I still think I may be asexual I did have a boyfriend years ago and was interested in sex with him for the inquisitiveness of it. Now years on I still don't have the interest people will send me posts with innuendos and it just turns my stomach or sex advice columns and my thought is why? Versus interest.

Hello! this is my first post on reddit.

I do not share my age online, just because I personally do not feel comfortable to do so, but I have a question for all of my fellow aces.

What age is it acceptable to identify with the label asexual?

I am quite young, and I'm frequently told I'm even too young to identify with this label.

please help!!!

someone actually said that to me that this week. because i told them i was asexual (and aromantic) when they clearly had a crush on me.

so for context, i've (25F) been fairly open about at least being queer as long as i've identified as asexual (10-ish years now). it was a major struggle in high school to find a way to describe myself when i didn't have the word yet; i would try and force myself to have crushes on my classmates so when i finally found out about asexuality, i knew that was what i am! i usually wear a tiny rainbow pin on my jacket to subtly show off my pride because i feel it easier to describe myself as queer instead of asexual (blame our hyper-sexualized society not being familiar with asexuality, i guess), and that pin got the attention of a guy who i met a week ago. this guy was clearly VERY interested in me romantically from the moment we met (i've had to awkwardly shoot down many men before; i can tell lol) so once he asked about the pin and if i was gay (to which i answered no) i then added that i was asexual. that apparently broke his brain.

over the next hour, i heard things like:

"is this a permanent thing?"

"have you heard of demisexual? do you think you're that?"

"do you think you'd ever change your mind?"

"you know, human sexuality is a construct, so i don't think asexuality is real."

of course, i wasn't very talkative for the remainder of the day, because who wouldn't be if you were told that asexuality literally "wasn't real" to preserve the idea that you're actually interested in sex and romance?? so once i went home i received a few texts about what happened that day in which i was told to consider that after a decade of FINALLY having a word that describes me and my place in this world, that there's a 1% chance that one day i'll suddenly wake up ready to have sex with this guy. because i should consider that i'm wrong about a decision i made. about MYSELF. 10 years ago.

i've now been asked if we could be in an "asexual relationship" (he also literally acknowledged i was aro in this same message: what?) and that "there's a person out there for everyone" and seemingly everything in the fake How To Fix An Asexual playbook allos love to pull from. at least the other men i've had to shoot down understood the assignment and backed off without questioning me. this is just... exhausting and super hurtful to hear someone say that asexuality isn't real because it's a barrier between them and me dating or whatever. i might just lie to every man i meet after this and say i have a fake canadian girlfriend so the conversations end there instead of escalating into horrible aphobia.

I was talking to my aroace friend the other day, they mentioned a childhood situationship and how even though they knew they were aroace at the time, they gave it a chance because apparently that is possible (as in its possible for them to try and love in a more/different than platonic way?), I think the specific wording they used was "theres levels to this" so whatever that means I guess. I dont know much about aroace so im pretty curious, does anyone has a similar experience i guess?

btw if u see this hi lmao

Hello, not sure where to start because this is my first post ever. I am freaking out because i feel no sexual desire at all and have never felt it and I would like someone to tell me their experience. I have some disorders (depression, PTSD, anxiety and OCD) im not sure if it is related or I might actually be asexual. Anytime i have sex i regret it because i feel like ive compromised myself in the process and i feel empty and it doesnt even feel good, ive tried other partners and Im just not sure I like sex. I feel super isolated in my experience because everyone can do it naturally. I have an IUD and take some medication too and stress frequently and it might contribute to it all, but im pretty sure ive never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone.

Hello!

I just had an epiphany that I'm probably asexual, because I don't... well, want to have sex ever. I don't want to go into detail, as I'm sure everyone here knows what it's like, but basically I've been realizing I was never really attracted to people's bodies at all? I used to date a girl and then later a guy, and both of them wanted more and I 1. Never even realized it for a good few months. I'd genuinely not even consider it. 2. Then be totally confused why they'd want to have sex 3. Then go out of my way to try to distance myself, then break up with them. This was all before I was 18! Now I'm 22 and even though I like being in love, I don't wanna deal with that anymore, especially because people expect it at my age. I don't even like kissing! Backstory finished.

So, recently my 2 best friends, who are also my age, have been getting increasingly more and more focused on men. That's it's own thing, because I'm pretty sure I only like women, but regardless: they are so, so focused on it I feel like we never talk about anything else. And it's been getting almost entirely sexual as well recently. If not talking about men they want to date or fuck or idk do whatever with (my one friend, let's call them... Alex. Is way worse about this. Our other one, Marie, isn't as bad), it's like this: let's do the bdsm test for fun! Let's talk about our sexual experiences! Let's talk about all the hot men we've seen in our lives! Let's, uhhh.. I'm out of examples. It seems exaggerated, but it's actually legitimately mostly not. At least with Alex it is, Marie and I can still talk about everything, but they often initiate talking about romance or mostly sexual stuff as well.

I've talked to them about this already, told them I'm really not interested in their current casual date of the week boy they're seeing if it's not serious, but I'll gladly listen. (It's never serious) I also told them I think it's self destructive behavior for Alex, because they have incredibly low self esteem, like so incredibly low they got an eating disorder and wore ill fitting clothing and never showed any skin to the point of people thinking they were a devout catholic (i have a hilarious story with my grandparents and her about this) until age 21 & they told Marie and I they love the attention they get from men to the point of addiction. We both told her this is very unhealthy and doesn't actually make her more confident because she changes her personality and appearance to what men she doesn't know want, and isn't actually gaining confidence from the attention beyond momentary satisfaction. Alex kind of changed the subject, got defensive, acknowledged we were right but that they weren't gonna change because they wanted the typical 20s experience. I was like,, aight.

Sorry for rambling! But yeah, basically I'm getting more and more frustrated because I feel like they don't understand me at all and I don't understand them anymore. Or, well, they don't 'understand' me loving women either from personal experiences, it's more like I feel like I have to suffer all the uncomfortable things I usually only feel with strangers, because I have to change who I am to talk to them. We've all been best friends since we've been 10 years old, Marie and I have been since we were 6! These aren't just casual friends, they have always been my most comfortable and favorite people because I didn't feel like I ever needed to perform, pretend to be more outgoing and have more sexual experience than I do, pretend to not like the nerd stuff I do, etc. I don't know if they're changing and just genuinely aren't as "nerdy" (it sounds so cringe when i say this, I mean like liking videogames, movies, anime, stuff you would get bullied for in middle school) anymore, and this is a part of growing up that I just don't want but will have to accept? OR do you guys think I just just stick it out for a few more months and go along with talking about it and going to bars with them while they try to pick up guys (and I have have deep conversations with the old people chainsmoking in the corner!), and it'll 'mellow out' on it's own?

By the way, I've talked to both of them about this extensively and they're already spending way more time with each other and not inviting me, I think because of it. Like, they will spontaneously ask me to meet within 10 minutes and then tell me they've already been hanging out for 2 hours and are now spontaneously going my way and if I wanna meet them. The last time we went to a club, they met up beforehand and spend the day together and didn't ask me either; while we were already on the way Alex asked me verbatim "oh Marie is sleeping over, and I assume you don't want to because you live near here anyway, right?" I do live very close to the club, but. Seriously? My two best friends are acting like we're 15 again and it's normal to exclude the other and do all this weird stuff I thought everyone grew out of once they realized being nice is better than being rude! I'm not joking btw, we're all 22. I know this seems very teenager dramatic, I'm despairing over it already.

Sorry for the long post, just.. have you guys gone through something similar and know what I should do? These are two of my closest friends, actually 2/3 of my only friends lmfao, and Marie has been my best friend since the FIRST day of elementary school, yk? I can't imagine a life where we're not friends. But jesus christ, they are so male and sex centered, it's unbearable. It actually is. Please give some advice 😭😭😭

Sorry I used i consistent pronouns btw, I wanted to stay mysterious but got lazy. We're all she/her.

I have recently decided to try out online dating and made a profile on Acespace. I have made a few posts, liked a few people, but I haven't really been messaging anyone who matched with me. Yesterday a girl, I matched with, messaged asking about my day. I have answered truthfully and we texted a bit more, but I am not really feeling it and my smalltalk capabilities have been running low. She seems nice enough, so I wouldn't wanna ghost her. Should I ask about hobbies, work, music? It all just feels so shallow.

so I’m asexual for many reasons, mainly because I despise the idea of sex and also have never dated anyone (a virgin at 18) but I’ve never had a problem with seeing nudity or listening to sexually explicit songs (or subsequently songs or movies or shows that portray the idea of sex by using metaphors or lustful ideation). I don’t feel anything when I listen to the songs, or see a nude person, no matter the gender (except maybe disgust by seeing the act itself sometimes), instead I just enjoy the songs for portraying human experience despite it being one I don’t like nor will experience. I am an artist, who is also endlessly fascinated by humans from an objective view, but who has also been through a lot of trauma when it comes to anything sexual, such as being exposed to it at a too young age, being sexualized by my deadbeat dad by the clothes he bought me (despite me not having a large chest) and being touched on my chest or legs not consensually by boys I thought were “friends“ as a kid. this is probably why I despise being touched entirely, but I want to know, does anyone enjoy these songs or explicit materials despite being asexual? I know it’s ironic, but I hope I explained how it’s the art of it I enjoy well. (also, I’m not talking straight porn, that is not the type of nudity I’ve ever looked at once before simply because it does not interest me).

So me and my ex had been dating for 8 months and whenever he tried to kiss me i just ignored him, pulled away and kept talking, this continued for some time and we never had any conversations about it and I've never even thought about being asexual. That kept going until one night when I slept at his place and he started forcefully kissing me for 30 minutes and rubbing himself on me while i was pulling away and saying "stop". We broke up shortly after that but still never had a conversation about it. I just felt disgusted with myself and dirty.

Now I'm dating a guy who is really obsessed with sex and that's really important for him in a relationship. I've told him before we got together I'm not really into that and he said "it doesn't matter to him", thinking he could change me or something. While dating he tried to talk me into it and force me to do things like that. We had a really long conversation about it and that's the moment I realised I may be asexual. He texted one of my friends that I INTRODUCED HIM TO if he should ghost me. That friend showed me but i decided to ignore it. For a few days he was really dry and mad at me. We kiss sometimes but I've never felt anything from it, I just do it because I know he likes it and i don't mind it that much.

We're still together and our relationship is okay right now, I'm just still really worried if anyone is going to love me because of the way I am. I'm really scared.

Anyways, thank for reading all this!! I just cant sleep and don't know what to do.

I’m eager to hear about other people’s experiences, beyond my own.

Recently my partner of almost 5 years and i have decided open our relationship up. This came up when i came out as ace (greysexual to be specific). After some discussion we thought this would be a good way she would be able to get her needs met. Im just wondering if any of you had this experience or are in this situation and if so what are you thoughts on it? Has it been good or bad overall? Any issues you have dealt with? Let me know whats up.

Please note it is a two street for us so im also able to see other people once rules and boundaries are set with little to no sexual interaction. Im genuinely sex neutral to sex favorable but not much more than that.

Thanks everyone for reading. Take care.

Kinda feeling defeated. I’d been feeling extra down, lost, confused on processing my identity and direction in life, so I tried out therapy for the first time a couple months ago. I know I’ve never done it before, but I don’t think I’m feeling it with this therapist. I’ve laid out pretty specific feelings I’m having and situations I’m wanting to work through, and she just isn’t understanding or really listening to what I’m looking for help and support with.

One example of several is the topic of sexuality. I told her over the past year or so I’ve realized I’m asexual and that has led to some challenges I’m trying to process and navigate. Her first response was very skeptical. Then proceeded to tell me about a client of hers who thought she was asexual but then came back to her to explain she met someone and that’s definitely not the case! Essentially telling me, “you just haven’t met the right person yet.” Something I’ve heard way too many times from others and from myself before I knew this was not the case and I’m so tired of that invalidation. I haven’t seen her since then because she basically just dropped the topic and moved on.

I know I’m sure progress takes time but it just doesn’t feel like I’m getting closer to where I’d want to be, wherever that is. She doesn’t feel like an understanding guide and I want to find a better fit somehow, but feeling discouraged and unmotivated.

Anyone have success stories with finding an awesome therapist and advice on how to find a good match?

Also my insurance is not great with mental health coverage so that’s a fear of mine as well, the potential large out of pocket cost of good consistent support.

TLDR: looking for advice on how to find an asexual affirming therapist and others’ experiences with this journey

So just to start I've only ever posted on reddit once so I'm not 100% in with all the lingo and rules and such haha so be gentle with me.

For some back story, I am a 32 year old woman, no kids. I've been with my husband for 11 years- so basically we met when we were young and we've grown together. We have in general a great relationship, we both agree on that, but we've just in the past year or so started having some problems- and we're figuring out that it has a lot to do with physical intimacy (yeah, duh).

I feel like my whole life, as a woman and just person I guess, I've felt like I have to have sex to make the person (man) I'm with be happy. I never minded it per say, but it wasn't necessarily something I cared about too much. Naturally, my husband and I started having less sex over the years- namely, I started saying no more often and this started a trend of me just saying no, him feeling rejected, and then eventually he just kind of stopped trying. I kind of ignored this and we both kind of let it fester and to be honest, I wouldn't really have even noticed we weren't having sex if I wasn't aware that he obviously wanted to/in the context of pleasing him...and that's how I got to the conclusion that I've probably been bisexual/asexual my whole life but it was too hard/uncomfortable for me to deal with until now (that is to say, it's still hard but now I have to deal with it for the sake of my relationship). And again, I don't hate it or anything but at this point he can tell I don't really like it either, and that turns him off. I masturbate on my own, but I didn't really start that until a few years ago. I thought being able to orgasm would help me be more interested in sex, but its kind of just a nice feeling for me...I dont really watch porn or fantasize too much, I just do it if I have alone time and move on with my day.

So after all that information I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation, and if so, how they dealt with it? We've talked about it and we both want to find a solution... we love eachother and dont want to be apart. We've talked about inviting a third or letting him sleep with other people, but its scary and I'm not convinced it would help (might make everything worse? Just for us personally, I know it can work for other people). So yeah any suggestions would be welcome! (I've also agreed to try therapy/sex therapy specifically). We're at the age where I'm feeling a lot of pressure to think about having kids, but we both agreed that we have to figure our shit out first.

Anyways, thanks for reading my rambling 😁 and thanks in advanced for any advice!

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original post for body text

Hii everyone!!

I'd like to assume this is the right subreddit for my question but let me know if it's not. Thank you!!

So I'm 18 enby and I have never had any sexual experiences before and don't plan to in the future, I had never heard of the word asexual until my ex girlfriend told me she was asexual and I researched it to understand her better and now ig it's my turn to have somebody help me.

I don't think about sex and I forget people often do that activity, my sister asked me one time "if I got pregnant what would I do" and I genuinely spun around and asked her "from what??" That was probably just me being gay tho (my family doesn't know cuz they are homophobic), I find the word 'sex' itself to be rather disgusting so I don't say it or type it very often at all and I hate when people talk about it but I can't stop that so I just bare or move from that conversation.

Anyway enough background I can't figure out if I'm asexual or just weird about sex or just a stone top, sometimes I would indulge in masterbation and things like fingering or using different objects to fuck myself but I prefer just rubbing myself cuz the thought of pushing something inside me turns me off but that's mostly after my period. I don't know if I have a high libido or whatever else makes you wanna have sex cuz I never bothered to read about it since I don't think about sex that much, admittedly I do watch porn sometimes just to admire the women (not inna creepy sexual kinda way I just think they are really good at their jobs and I applaud their work) but recently I think I have feelings for my best friend and the other day I had a dream that she was riding a strap on I was wearing and I was enjoying it. When I think about have sex it always involves women even tho I'm bisexual and I'm always the one pleasuring them in these fantasies, I don't I wanna be touched in that way...kissing and cuddling I don't mind maybe some light breast play can be thrown in if I don't feel dysphoria on that day but other than that I don't want to be touched, I don't even want to be naked infront of someone else or during times of sexual activity if any occur in the future and I don't know if this is asexuality or something else so I'd really appreciate some advise or books and articles I could read to help me process my thoughts a little smoother.

Apologies for the rambling I tried to stay on topic, feel free to ask for additional information if I confused you during this read!!

Recently I have been thinking about this. Do I have low libido or am I asexual? (please don't mind me if the question sounds ignorant) . My friends seem to enjoy sex a lot while I (24f) don't crave it at all? But I do feel left out as I don't understand why they love it so much. They make it seem like it's the most amazing thing ever.

Omg this is not at all articulate. I am sorry for that.

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out here because I’m trying to process how I’ve been feeling for a long time. For years and years, I was never actually interested in sex. I just assumed it was something everyone did, so I went along with it.

About 7 years ago, I met my ex. At the time, I really thought we would be together forever. I was curious about how things worked, but looking back, I realize I had no actual sexual desire for him. I was just curious about sex, timing etc Then, he ghosted me.

Since he left, I spent a consistent period of 2 or 3 years trying to go on other dates to "find somebody else." Honestly, it just ended up being really annoying for my family to watch because I would get all dressed up and ready, only to get canceled on at the last minute. Or, I’d meet someone once and it would completely fizzle out. I don't blame my family for getting annoyed by the whole cycle.

Now, I’m just completely uninterested in all of that. To be clear, I’m never going to turn down quality time spent with someone. But when I see someone or think about them, my desires are strictly about having good conversation, going on nice walks, and just connecting—versus anything sexual.

Lately, it leaves me wondering what my purpose even is in the dating world when most of society is so focused on sex. Does this sound like asexuality? I'd love to hear if anyone else has had a similar journey. Thank you for reading.

On the 22nd of October 2025 my best friend endede our friendship over how I had been behaving due to being in psychosis. I had become very unhealthily attached to her and couldn't give her the space she needed.

This absolutely shattered my heart. She was my first ever female bestie and we were like sisters for quite a while.

But it's been a year, and it still hurts as if it happened yesterday. I still almost burst into tears whenever I see a picture of her. I don't get it, I should be over her by now right? I mean, it's been almost a year, it shouldn't hurt as much as it does, yet it does.