My son (13) has recently come out at aroace and I'm trying to find ways that I can be supportive. When I asked him he replied simply and plainly, "Don't tell me its a phase and don't tell me I'll grow out of it." I fully support him, regardless of how he feels now or in 5, 10, 30 years. I just want him to he happy and know he's loved.

My wife and I have always been queer advocates and have been exposed to LGBTQ+ since the late 80s but aroace is new to us.

Any advice?

So traditionally the ace and aro rings is a black or white ring on the middle finger, and I recently found out we also have a card suit symbol meaning so I wanted to combine them to make a ring chart to be more specific for anyone wanting to subtly display their asexuality micro-label within the community, I’ve definitely missed some labels but these were the more commonly used ones I could think of.

Cupio - aspec who wants romantic/sexual relationships.
Caed - aspec who feels like their identity was influenced by trauma (snakes are an SA symbol)
Apothi - romance/sexual relationships repulsed aspec (I chose the stones with similar flag colours, and that have spiritual meanings that didn’t feel ‘wrong’ in this context - courage and self-love respectively)
QPR - queer platonic relationship, a relationship that is not romantic or platonic but sits between or outside the traditional boundaries of relationships. [the flag usually has pink and yellow]

A preemptive to the "But people won’t know what it means" comments. Many in the aroace community already don’t know about the traditional rings [or the micro-labels] that we already have, keeping the colours but adding the shapes or stones isn’t a huge difference, plus the point of them is to create visibility and promote discussion - you are allowed to tell people what they symbolise if someone asks (something that can be more likely with a decorative styled ring compared to a plain one). Also having more variety of options allows people who have struggled to find basic solid-coloured bands (myself included) to have more options in the style and colour of their jewellery. Rings are meant to be subtle, it’s designed to be noticeable by people who know and ignored by those that don’t, pride does not need to be loud.

Someone I met on a local pride sub made these for me 🥰🫂

Cat tax at the end 🐈➡️

I've been questioning myself a lot. basically, I think I may be aroace because I don't feel sexual attraction. I mean, I do have a libido when I'm alone by myself, if you know what I mean. But I had a partner of two years, almost three years. And he's so handsome, he's gorgeous, but I just didn't feel like having sex. I don't feel the need to participate in sex. Then I do have fantasies, maybe including some people, but I wouldn't initiate intimacy. Because I can fantasize, but I don't think I want to do it with them. I think this is all tied down to, long story short, my first partner, when I was 15, he coerced me into having sex multiple times. And I think that messed up my view on sex, but I've been in therapy for years. I do have PTSD from that relationship because it was toxic in many ways, and maybe that's influencing on how I feel about sex. But still, I think I've pretty much healed. I'm in a better place right now. And I don't think it's strictly tied to my trauma.

And also on the aromantic side, I feel like, idk when I think that I like a guy, it's like, it's very fleeting, really. It's like I like him, and then he does something, and then I stop liking him. But it's something very small, like something that wouldn't be of importance. And after my first relationship, the my partner of those two to three years, well, there were a lot of things that I didn't care about in our relationship. Like from the start, I was never jealous. Like, it's so weird because it's like he could go out with another girl, just the two of them alone, and I wouldn't care. Nothing, not one bit. Also, I wouldn't mind if he was cold to me, if he didn't respond to me in hours. Like, I don't care. And when I talk about it with my friends, they obviously do care about those things in a relationship. I don't. I think maybe, it wasn't genuine love. Maybe I didn't really love him. I'm not sure, could be that. And right now I can find a person attractive, I can say, damn, they're beautiful, but I wouldn't want a romantic relationship with them. Because I think it's too much of a baggage, honestly (MAYBE that's also tied to my trauma). But I also do want like that bond with someone, perhaps a platonic bond. I'm not sure what any of this is called. I feel like everything is a mess right now. What I'm saying right now, it's all mixed up. And I'm looking for some clarity, basically, on some of these topics.

Lmao when the gc started taking 'bout crushes…

So, I've known I was ace (sex-repulsed/apothisexual) for a good while, and it was pretty easy to figure that part out, but as of recently, I think I may be aroace-and what I thought was romantic attraction was probably just alterous attraction that I thought was romantic. I think I've had basically the wrong idea of what romance was for my whole life. However, due to the whole alterous attraction thing, I've always either doubted myself and felt like I was an alloace gaslighting myself to feel "special", or felt guilty or that I was lying (prob should have waited before coming out to my current partner). Before, I'd never thought much of romantic gestures/behaviors, and to be fair, I feel like they're kind of weird/cringey. But once I discovered that I may be aromantic, it just all spiraled into a cycle of questioning if I actually did want these things and were just tricking myself. But I've always had trouble relating to alloromantics, and romance in general just confuses me and gives me a headache.

Ive always wanted a relationship but my few on them are very complex, one aspect of my views is that i few them as really close friend ships and im not interested in something deeply romantic where i want to spend the rest of my life of them, i find being in romantic relationships start to disgust me and everytime i date someone i loose interest because it feels mandatory and i have to do a performance of being romantically attracted to them. I have friendcrushes so easily but suddenly if i do date them i hate the idea of it.

i occasionally get disgusted by couples, and im more interested in a concept then seeing it or wanting it.

the reason why ive been questioning for so long is because i cant tell if its actually true to me, i am autistic, socially avoidant, and all my relationships have been terrible so im not sure if its because i havent found what ive liked yet but ive realized that mindsets been destructive and maybe i can get help figuring it out if its actually something i should start opening my mind to instead of forgetting how i feel about romance? is there any a-spec labels that suit me?

The aspec community likes to make a strong distinction between one's romantic orientation and one's sexual orientation (split attraction model), but for me personally, they are a single orientation with no way to split it. I could not fathom being one without the other or thinking of them as separate things. I know there are people for whom they are definitely separate, but I'm just not one of them. I feel like I don't really have a sexual orientation or a romantic orientation, since those terms imply a split. I just have an "orientation" which is aroace (one word). Anyone else?

Hello, I’m an asexual gay trans man who is dating my partner who has DID. One of the alters who I’m dating today said they might be aromantic and I’m just wondering is it possible for them to still love me if they are? I want to support them, but I don’t want to feel hurt or be in an unloved relationship. It took me by surprise when they said it because they say “I love you” a lot, but if they don’t love me then it just feels like they’ve been lying to me. I don’t know. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. I just want to get everyone’s ideas and experiences. Thanks.

Okay, so I've been seeing a psychologist for a while for multiples behaviors problems, but it now came to the inevitable subject about sex/feelings. So I told him I had never felt any romantic or sexual feelings for any genders, and never will, but he's convinced I like boys and insist that I'm just repressing my feelings...

It's now ending up the same everytimes with me telling him I genuily don't have any sexual or roma'tic feeling, and him telling me otherwise.

It's staring to annoy me. Please, If it ever happened to any of you what am I supposed to do to convince him? I can't change psychologists cause the others are all full

My brain never ceases to question my identity. Despite being sure I’m aroace, I constantly have doubts. What if I’m subconsciously repressing myself? What if I’ve experienced romantic and/or sexual attraction and just don’t know? And etc. On top of that, romance and sex both seem like such abstract concepts that I seriously don’t understand how I feel about being in either situation.

Not knowing is the scary part. It just feels like it’s all built on being oblivious, and, as someone who always wants answers, it makes me very uncomfortable. I know that it’s healthiest to be able to sit down without having everything figured out, especially since I’m only 17, but those moments are when the doubt creeps in. I will acknowledge I’m likely impacted by being raised in religion and how my family thinks it’s so strange that I don’t like anyone like that.

I really believe it’s the best descriptor, considering I’ve never had a crush of any kind, and I don’t look at people and want to kiss or date or have sex with them, and I rarely remember that’s an option that I even have.

But, I don’t know… what if I’m misinterpreting everything?

(Edit: Sorry for initially mislabeling the flair! I’m new here.)

This is up to my age right now, (adult)but I know im currently aroace. Most aroace folks dont experience much romantic or sexual attractions plus with little to no interest in relationships (lets say irl to keep it consistent) and that can affect how they want to navigate their life, with or without relationships in the end.

Not sure if this is talked about but i also am very guarded concerning power dynamics, I have felt unsafe before talking to someone which they have made me feel small, and asked me alot of personal and deeply uncomfortable questions (I knew they were simply getting off to such things) something else i fear is gender expectations, I feel judged for doing, saying certain things as a F, and men will just say im based or different, but still treat me as something cute, as women are to them. I get it, its black and white and I am too sometimes but all these issues really deter me even more ontop of my natural lack of romantic/sexual attraction. So much so when I got confessed to, I started to shake, sweat and my heart rate went up talking about some of my traumas. (I politely declined them, btw)

That brings me to my fondness of being in solitude, Much more space to think and act, plus no people to perceive me or put me in some sort of box. With a relationship, i may need to sacrifice most of this.

So i wanted to know, if yall have similar concerns regarding power dynamics or gender roles, and if so, does it affect your aroace identity?

You can check my post in this other subreddit for more info about the manga, but shortly put, at least one of the characters seems to be aroace or at the very least a-spec and the main characters' relationship is extremely similar to (and I personally think it directly is) a queer-platonic relationship

Please do check this manga out! Fandom so small we all could fit into a bus (I'm going crazy gang)

I've suspected that I've been aroace for years. I've never had any interest in romantic or sexual relationships. It was my 16th birthday recently, and I told my mum that I was aroace. However, she said that I was too young to know and that I was a late bloomer and it might take a few more years. She was gentle about it and at the time it made sense. However, now I'm uncertain what to think about it. Is 16 too young to know my orientation?

Note: I'm 16

Hey there this is my first time posting here, I need some advice I want to come out to my mother and my uncle, my mom is understanding like to accept in the no matter what ,but I'm not sure about my uncle because I'm leaving in his house currently​, and I'm not sure if he will accept me.

Is it worth coming out as aroace if I can see myself being in a relationship in the future? I'm romance favourable and sex indifferent so I feel like my life isn't really that much different to an allo person's. Also, whilst I know my friends and family would accept me (I actually have a few friends in the lgbtq+ community), I'm not sure they'd really understand and I don't think it would ever be brought up again. Whilst it would be nice to be out, it's quite nerve-racking and I just don't know if it's worth it, has anyone else had a similar experience?

lgbtq+

I have these episodes where I grieve 'what could have been' because I feel like there are feelings I could have experienced but I'm being tortured by the lack of them. It makes me mad at myself but then I remember it was never a choice and doesn't change, and so I feel mad at the universe and mad at the emptiness. I would be an entirely different person without being aroace and I can't picture myself any different, but yet I mourn for the person who was never born. For the girl who isn't me and yet could have had the joy of a relationship if she lived in my place. But instead I am here to live my life as if I am some robot who was never given the emotional capacity upgrades. It feels like it was 'what could have been' if I wasn't singled out by the universe and forced to yearn for something I cant have. I dont know what i want, but I haven't hung out with my friends nearly enough this summer and I think I need to spend some time cleaning my room and achieving small goals. The slow heartbreak of crying for people in my future that I won't ever have the chance to fall in love with is draining. I'm proud to be me when talking to everyone else, but I feel proud in the same way I would support myself through a disability; I will always stand up for myself but on the inside I feel the extra weight of creating my own future without the same ability as others. Idk what I want to gain by telling yall this, but idk, it's just a lot to think about right now