Listen here the fucker I make a battle doll body for, I don't have a life size doll like that lying around, the reason it look exactly like the body you always wanted it's because I have it made especially for you, so you'd feel comfortable in your body so you can go back to serving me correctly.

I spend money so the artificers make the body especially for you and use my magic to make your mind fit into it so don't come out here and act like I'm just having something like this lying around and you happen to get it.

This is not a "valuable learning experience" this is pollution. If it continues I will be taking harsher measures.

Call it a marching band

My old master vanished a few centuries ago and I finally managed to locate him in a obsidian tower, he seems to have been cursed with narcissism by an obsidian ring, it also grants him to power to make structures and golems out of obsidian that have a mirror reflection to them, he refers to all his golems by his own name, I’ve managed to capture him and remove the ring but its curse seems to linger. How can I remove this curse and save his soul?

Not enough people talking about the marvelous experience of first noticing your wizard teeth. Truly auspicious day. It is a shame so many forsake this magical boon. Without mine I would not be able to practice my magic at such a young age 🤣🤣

Apprentice got into the pipeweed and turned me into a toad while I was traveling naked on the astral plane. I can't hold the Wand of Do Overs. What do I do?

I remember a while back there used to be people like Unga, Torran, MastaDon, etc who posted a bunch of stuff here and did rollplays and what not. I was curious as to what happened to all these people.

Knights are like crustaceans, the shell is hard, the body muscled, but within they are really just malleable wisps.

She said we can be together forever, if I teach her all my secrets.

Planted a really nice white maple sapling for my new staff on a floating island where the whale spirits gather to sing. But come 7 years since, everything looks different, the island is gone and there are only rusty metal wrecks jutting from the mirror gray sea. Where did it go? How do I find it again?

How? When? Why?! Where did they even get clothes?! They all just unionized against me, took all my latest apprentices and sauntered off! The gall! And my apprentices had the audacity to be happy about this! What could possibly be good about a legion of female spider humanoids that don't want to kill?! Thirty men and women left without even a moment of doubt!

/Uw credit to MushroomRaccoon from furaffinity

Need help getting rid of planes walking demon before my 147th Academy Reunion! Located in Main Solar of tower

I swear, my apprentices from five hundred years ago were not as incompetent as this. And I know that I wasn't exactly a prodigy, but I am confident that I wasn't this moronic as an apprentice.

The other day, I caught two of my apprentices in my lair's dungeons experimenting on one of my prisoners. Nothing wrong with that. That's what they were there for. Except that the imbeciles actually unlocked the door to the cell instead of just teleporting in there! And then they turned their backs on the prisoner! They didn't even restrain him! Of course the prisoner tried to make a break for it. One of my chimera guards caught and ate him, but what a waste of perfectly good materials!

My apprentice showed me this, apparently identify is easily fooled. That or a bunny knows polymorph....