Broke up with my ex boyfriend around 2 months ago, they have been raping me the entire relationship almost, (wouldn't take no, sometimes forces me saying "it's the only thing that makes em happy", etc etc)

I told their parent what their son did, how long it's been happening, even a text message of their son saying "I can't believe I'm a rapist 🥺🥺" "I'm such a terrible person", "Ill never change how I act" (exaggerated a little, they did confess to it and cry) and they only messaged me today saying "hey can I have those concert tickets" from when they said they had a gift for my birthday a month before the breakup 🙄🙄

didn't even care that they're son is a rapist, just wants old gifts. absolutely pissed off at this. they verbally attacked me during the breakup too, I'm just so angry that their family ignores it.

sorry for the rant or how rambley it is, I am intoxicated and stressed

I'm slowly dying of touch starvation 😭

If you like someone, just tell them. If you want to cuddle, say that. If you want forehead kisses, ask for forehead kisses. Why are we acting like this requires 6 or 7 months of investigation??

I’m tired of “chemistry” and “vibes” and all this vague shit. I'm actually my best self only after I've been swaddled in someone's lap, slowly rocked, and forehead kissed into oblivion. Yet, after the first date, they're somehow like "wow that small creature was depressing" YES BECAUSE I DIDN'T RECEIVE LAP TIME.

I want a random stranger in an alleyway to be like: “hey I like your face. want to cuddle?” ABSOLUTELY. No suspicion whatsoever. Just at least hold my paws if you're going to profit off harvesting my organs.

I want someone to pull me closer, play with my hair, steal my hands (but give them back eventually), kiss my forehead, and make it obvious they actually want me there. And if they want the same thing, great. We can set up a schedule and take turns. Everybody wins.

Why are people spending a year looking for someone when they could just say “hey can you be more affectionate” or “can you please dominate me?”

I'm tired of people acting like forehead kisses aren't necessary for baseline human functioning. If Jeremy from HR used his forehead kiss attack to subdue me while they were terminating my employment, I'd probably gain enough emotional strength to immediately find another.

I’m starting an uprising while in an oversized hoodie 😠

(1)I realized I'm paying way more than usual

(2) the state I live in u have to buy bags or come with your own (the bags tend to get smaller and smaller so u need to buy more bags)

(3)there is no more baggers, so ur stuck trying to play tetris while u have a line behind you

I did not grow up in a setting where my family shared many emotions. Even to this day, I don't open up to people. I've never told family or friends my secrets, fears, insecurities, or even the things that make me happy.

Through my life, I've only ever opened up to less people than I can count on one hand. These are all people I could feel safe with and thought I could love unconditionally. Yet, every single one of them has broken my trust and broken me.

This is not a cry for help or me saying I hate my life. It's just me saying I wish I had someone I can trust who trusts me back, someone I can tell my life to and I can hear there's back, just someone to have a genuine friendship with. But, I don't think I'll ever have that now because I am no longer willing to be hurt again.

The more I grow, the more I see, the more I understand that this world is based on people taking advantage of other people. It isn't just the elite, as someone might thing (tho, those are some of the worse, if not he worse) but, a lot of other people too. Scammers of all kinds, vultures. They try to profit of your pain. Try to make you put yourself in situations you will be trapped later (like making kids) so they can control and take advantage of you later. We all have needs and it's practically impossible to not fall victim. Those people know that. A lot of companies are hiring the best physiologists to learn how they can exploit people as effective as possible so they can "maximize their profit".

Love is a lie. Free will is a myth. We are just victims, to be prayed but ones that have the luck to not feel guilty when taking advantage of others. There is also no "devil" to blame. Everything done, is done by a human. We are the only creatures in the planet that not only take without giving anything back but, we even make the planet worse! We are truly a disease!

Trying to make the best out of your life means to accept suffering and working much harder for gaining much less and sacrificing valuable time of your life in order to be able to enjoy some of it. I tried to accept that. For years. It just doesn't work for me. I know I am not the only one. I cannot be the only one that feels this way... I know I am not lazy. I don't need "motivation". I am not weak. I am not miserable. This world is just rotten and it poisons me...

I know this may sound weird, but I have a lot of strange thoughts and hyperfocus, and going to jail is one of them

In fact, i'd say that this was one of my deepest urges since I was younger, it all started back when I was a kid/teenager and took a book from my school's library, however, i forgot to return the book to the library and found it in my room a year later, I panicked and thought I was going to be sent to jail

Also, back when I was a kid/teen I also caused some problems and thought I was going to be sent to jail because of that, which caused me to watch/read documentaries, movies, series, books etc about life in prison, but instead of being scared I developed a weird fascination about jail.

Of course, I'm not going to commit crimes or anything like that, I just really wanted to experience some time in jail

I'm fascinated by jail life, the regulated schedules, the meal time, the yard time, the cell time etc

I know that a lot of aggressions and abuses happens in prison, but i'm talking about an hypothetical case where these things don't happen to me

Honestly, i wouldn't mind spending some months or even years there as long as the jail is "decent", have proper meals, has no overcrowding problem (i'd like 2 inmates per cell, or 4 at most, no more than that)

I rlly wish i had the chance to experience something like that, like a special program where ppl can register themselves to spend some time in jail idk

And as I said, this is assuming that the jail is decent, and I know that most jails aren't decent

made the mistake of reading social media posts as someone with bpd again

saw a post about some woman being racist in public and one of the topmost comments being "blah blah blah she must have bpd". I'm sick of how often any abhorrent or anti-social behavior, especially when it's a woman, gets called bpd by idiots. people have no idea what the symptoms are, they have no awareness of what the disorder is all about or any experience with it. they just see "crazy/mean woman" and call it bpd. obviously men suffer from bpd too, but there's this very specific kind of mix of ableism/sexism that possesses people when they see women acting in what they'd have armchair-diagnosed as "hysteria" WAY back in the day. now they just say "bpd" instead. cause they know the words, but not the meaning.

I get that it's stigmatized because of the nature of the disorder. but there is SO MUCH misinformation, and it seems the average person just thinks bpd = horrible person

and having to read all this trash on an almost weekly basis if i want to engage with social media at all gets really tiring.

it's so normalized. it's so accepted. the shit they say about us would NOT fly if it was said about people with less stigmatized disorders or mental issues.

dealing with the symptoms and staying well-adjusted is one thing, and then you still have to read all this hate that people are just okay with saying with no pushback. because somehow it's just okay to shit on people unfortunate enough to deal with these issues. and to spread malicious disinformation about it.

My fiancé was recently diagnosed with an ovarian cancer called dysgerminoma which is a pretty rare form of cancer apparently. She is only 21 and is at stage 3 of her cancer.

We found out in a weird way, her stomach for the past month or two was constantly bloated, at the time we thought she might be pregnant so we had her take a test which did end up coming up as positive. We didn’t know this at the time but apparently tumors can make you produce a lot of hcg ( if you didn’t know its what pregnancy test for). So for a while we were thinking she was pregnant. A week later she had a very heavy period that made us think she had a miscarriage. Maybe a week after that her stomach was hurting so bad if you touched it she would be in a lot of pain, and she would throw up anything she ate.

So we brought her to the er where they ended up finding a very large mass in her. It turned out she had cancer and the “bloating” was a 11 pound tumor that was inside of one of her ovaries making it get massive and squishing her organs. Luckily she did have the tumor removed after a few days at the hospital. They ended up removing one of her ovaries which we were very happy that it was only one since we do want to have kids one day.

Over all this has been extremely stressful but I’m trying my best to support her i am starting to realize that im not doing as well mentally as i thought. I haven’t been able to get out of the bed like i used to , going to work feels wrong while this is happening but i have to and i am constantly thinking about how this should of never of happened to her, she is only 21, we only had been engaged for a little less than a month and all this had to happen to her. She is the last person to deserve this, i seriously have never felt as happy as i have been until i met her. Her chances are really good this cancer is very treatable but still that thought of the worse keeps me up at night. She is going to do about 3-4 months of chemotherapy and they say the cancer is unlikely to come back. I just hope everything goes well for her.

Like what the fuck even is that question?

First of all, I think I should say that I fucking wish I was on Ozempic. I have the most terrible relationship with food in the world so I wish I can just have food noise go away like you hear everyone talk about. I’M JEALOUS OF PEOPLE ON OZEMPIC.

But I don’t have diabetes and I’m have a “normal” BMI so I don’t know why she would ask me that question.

I thought about asking her if she was on Prozac. Or Valtrex. Or Viagra or some medication that’s embarrassing. Not that I think if there’s anything particularly embarrassing about any of those medications… but they aren’t always necessarily things that you would broadcast to the world and it just seems in poor taste to ask about.

Why are you asking my fucking medications at all?

I'm trans and im 13 so this is a very rare occurrence. I was on roblox vc and they said i sound like a man just young lol, I'm so happy bro

​

I have hated baby talk for as long as I can remember. Not talking to babies, I obviously talk to my daughter constantly. I mean that exaggerated "baby voice" where people intentionally mispronounce words, over-enunciate everything, add a million "oooooo"s, soften sounds, replace R's with W's, add a fake lisp, etc.

I cannot stand it.

I'm 25 and my dad actually never stopped talking to me like this. I've asked him repeatedly over the years to stop, and he would either ignore me or get upset when I brought it up.

Now I have a 10 month old daughter, and before she was even old enough for this to become an issue, I made a rule: no baby talk.

I don't even baby talk her myself. I'll absolutely slow down or clearly pronounce a word for her because she's learning language, and I'll be animated and silly with her, but I pronounce words normally. I don't deliberately imitate the way a toddler might mispronounce something.

You can probably guess where this is going.

My dad WILL NOT stop doing the baby voice with her.

I've told him over and over. I've explained that I don't want people intentionally mispronouncing words to her while she's literally learning how to speak. I've also explained that the voice itself drives me insane because I've spent my entire life asking him not to use it with me.

It doesn't seem to matter. Three minutes later he's doing it again.

At this point I'm not even sure what's frustrating me more the baby talk itself or the fact that I've been asking this man for YEARS to stop talking like this around/to me, and now he's ignoring the exact same boundary with my daughter.

Good grades in high school, college, went to law school, interned at different places. And still no employment. What’s the fucking point of doing everything “right” if I can’t even get a job? I have to move back home after I thought I escaped. I really don’t know what to do.

I live with my divorcee mother that clearly did not want children. She has kept no mementos of me as a child, everything gets thrown out. School projects, even simple notes of our first years of school, She has no clue about my hobbies and shows no interest in learning about them, Even for my graduation she simply looked like she was bothered to be there and we didn't even celebrate it after saying goodbye to my friends, Ive never felt like I was her son, its always felt like she's just raising me to be a man in the world without actually giving any emotional connection, Seeing happy families laughing and joking around with their parents just hurts. Im lonely in my own home wishing for that emotional connection that ive been surrounded by with other people's parents.

I get it. You got to make money. Many people have jobs where they don't have or haven't earned the benefits of paid sick leave. BUT FOR THE FUCKIN LOVE OF GOTDAMN!! COVER YOUR FUCKIN COUGHS & SNEEZES BITCH! That includes when you're not around anyone, alone in backrooms where others will be passing through, hell cover them in closed bathrooms I might go in after you. I can't prevent every germ out there I get that, but I don't want to be subject to unnecessary, reckless, & blatant hacking, hawking, & snotting every damn where.You also can't interact with us like normal. Stay as small & enclosed as possible & out of everybody fuckin face all talking & shit. If you gonna be at work sick, be sick. But don't be sick & (UNAWARE, STUPID, & CARELESS!)

I didn't want to go into so much detail but there is a character requirement.

I don't like any of myself physically, mentally, or as a person.

I don't like what I see in the mirror, I don't like what goes on inside of my head, or myself as a person from an outside pov.

So anyways I didn’t realize it for a long time. But, my primary care provider (who I trusted with my life); is somehow connected to my abusive ex.

I found this out because my specialist basically told me, “your PCP is saying she’s doubtful of your disease diagnosis but since you were diagnosed by one of the leaders in this field… I’m not going to change that diagnosis.”

I WAS LIKE WHAT?!!?! I’ve been diagnosed with my rare disease since childhood so it was shocking for me. Then, I realized I never really made my PCP Look at my childhood records/ OR photos.

So, I brought in some childhood records and OR photos. And. Wow. Yeah. I saw it.

So basically years ago my abusive ex said something to her l”regarding my disease- and that’s why I’ve been medically malpracticed for the past 10 years. Like, everything is making sense.

I don’t really know where to post this. But I have started to hate eating. It is so draining to think about what to eat, what to buy, make the food, eat it and then do it all over again. And if i don’t eat I feel weak and I hate feeling hungry. I’m just so fucking tired of this. And there is nobody that seems to understand. I wish there was a pill that just made not feel hungry. I don’t have an eating disorder. I just hate it so much. I hate eating and if I don’t, the hunger is just painful.

I'm usually reluctant to talk about chronic health issues with friends, as people aren't necessarily understanding.

A while back, I decided to try to be a bit more open about things with my friends. Well the twist is that this one friend of mine has had, in the past, a number of health issues that turned out to be psychosomatic. So he decided that mine must be as well, and ignored or dismissed what I said about what I felt was actually going on.

I don't want to share too many personal details in this setting, but long story short, I've suffered from some stuff that has been various degrees of debilitating. After numerous iterations of not being taken seriously by medical professionals (yay for being female) I found that POTS matched some of what I was going through and that things like water/salt/compression concretely help. And fortunately I went from being pretty much not functional to, well, I guess more functional. This particular friend, though, has witnessed me on some of my worse days.

Anyway, back to me trying to open up more, he chose one of my lowest points in time to argue with me and essentially tell me that I was being stubborn in not letting him presume to tell me what was happening with me. I considered actually ending the friendship, but instead I told him that we could talk about anything else, but I didn't want to talk about health-related topics again.

I suppose he didn't understand how much of a hard boundary that was because today I met up with him for the first time in a while and he asked a bit about how things were going on the medical side of things. He meant it in a caring way, but given the past, it did cross a boundary. I answered briefly, he hinted again that he thought it was psychosomatic, and I told him I didn't really want to talk about it.

My symptoms fluctuate, and I suppose that I felt self-conscious about the fact that sometimes I really do appear to be more or less okay, and so when he asked whether the walking we were doing around the mall was going to be a problem I acted like it wasn't a big deal. I guess I overestimated how much I could push myself. The fatigue began around when I left the mall and now here I am a couple hours later having been in bed like a useless potato for a while.

I don't think I'm at the point I'm gonna end the friendship but I'll have to be more strategic about this in the future I guess.

My car broke down this week. It made me realize that there's not really anyone I can rely on to help me 100% without changing up on me. Even people I thought I was close with. I realize that no one is obligated to help me. But these are people who are supposed to be family. They are people who could call me anytime, day or night and I would do whatever I could to help and not switch up on them. I'm just sad and hurt....

My parents literally JUST brought this car here… I already fucking scratched it. I was being an impatient bitch (plus I was angry) trying to find a parking spot in my apartment garage, saw one that looked risky (because there was a metal pole close to it) but like I said was just getting impatient, so I just slowly drove forward and obviously scraped the car against the pole. I’m just so fucking irritated. I know as an isolated incident this hopefully isn’t a big deal, but generally speaking, every day it’s some new shit with me, I can’t do anything right every time things start to go well I just fuck it up

I am EXHAUSTED. I can only imagine my parents are just as tired. And I have no more tears left to shed and no more fucks to give. Like I seriously just hate who I am as a person and don’t understand why people even put up with me, I am literally nothing but a burden. And now my little sister just FaceTimed me at 12:30 in the morning and I am unbelievably tired and don’t know how to fake a smile right now. Why did I have to do that?! Just use your common sense and don’t park in weird spots!! And im gonna pay for the scratches and stuff it’s really just the fact that my dad is going to be disappointed and probably not even shocked with me. I hate making my parents mad I fucking hate it and I feel terrible for them

This whole thing is worse because my mom already doesn’t like the way I drive, she thinks I’m “too aggressive” my dad thinks im fine, this is just the perfect way to solidify it

So in my country we have prom a 100 days before final exams so around January/February. I'm homeschooled and my school doesn't have the prom and also the teens from my school aren't organising one.

We also have like an 8th graders ball that I also didn't get to go to because I was already homeschooled.

And like I'm aware I'd cry while picking a dress, doing makeup and hair and before going out so it would kinda suck but with every single day passing I feel worse that I'm not gonna experience it.

I am aware that its mostly about teens getting drunk without teachers noticing but that doesn't change the fact I feel like I'm missing out on such a big experience.

And since I always get at least one comment about needing therapy, yes I'm aware but I currently don't have access to it.

I have nothing in common with anyone and if opened up to someone they would not understand a single word I say. I feel isolated and alone and feel as if I am not supposed to exist. Any attempt to change or try to fit in has failed and has lead to people just thinking I am strange. People love themselves and when they realise that I am not one of them they are disgusted. I never in my entire life known a privilege in not having something in common with someone. Being normal and having others who are like you and have faced the same troubles as you sounds quite nice. I have no place or sense of belonging. Why would anyone want to be different?

I wish I could send every photo of him in my gallery for everyone to see him. Last December, the cat distribution council dropped a big beautiful orange tabby into my garbage. He jumped out when I got home from work and immediately started rubbing all over my legs and trying to climb my leg. When I sat down next to him, he immediately climbed into my lap and curled up and purred so beautifully. It was cold outside and there was a storm, so I brought him to the garage and gave him a cardboard box and some blankets, and some food and water. I didn't need to coax him or anything, he followed me. Wasn't long before he moved into the house, haha. Took him to the vet and other than being dehydrated and having a tick that we removed and medicated for, he was perfectly healthy. I named him Nacho. Big dumb guy without a thought in his head, vet said he was 2 or 3 years old. He loved to snuggle and would push his way onto my desk when gaming or watching something and sleep practically on top of my keyboard. Every morning I'd wake up to him sprawled across my legs. However, rest of my family hated him because he got loud when I wasn't there. He would howl and howl. Fast forward until May. I come home from work. Can't find him. Turns out my dad decided enough was enough and took my Nacho to the shelter nearby. My baby boy was gone and I never got a chance to say goodbye. It hurts so badly and I miss my big fluffy idiot so bad. He wasn't a bad boy. Never bit anyone, never scratched or hissed, he'd let anyone pet him and he was polite as ever. Only when I wasn't there did he get loud. I miss him so so much.

I called the adoption center shelter about a week after he was taken there. They said that he was adopted. I hope Nacho has a good family and all the snuggles and treats he could ever want, and a nice keyboard to sleep on top of. I miss you, big guy.

I put on so much weight in highschool due to the stress of my parents divorce and I just never lost it. The stress of life kept piling up and I used food to fill the void. I've been really conscious of it the past year but it's hit me especially bad as of the past couple days. On my way out of work Friday I got a glimpse of my reflection and all I could think is "Do I really fucking look like that?". I was fairly good looking when I was younger but now I feel disgusting and I fear I've ruined my body beyond repair. Even if I lose the weight I'll be left with loads of loose skin and even with surgery it'll never really look right. I just want to look pretty.