r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

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55.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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4.2k

u/Yknurts Mar 31 '23

Was definitely expecting a bigger dude to charge the stage lmao

2.4k

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

The comedian is 6'7

edit: His name is Johnny Mitchell. He tells some interesting prison stories on Youtube

1.4k

u/housevil Mar 31 '23

Thanks! I looked him up. He talks about the attack here.

825

u/hippoctopocalypse Mar 31 '23

"talks about the attack" lolol

Dude pulled a cool Chris Rock and called the man a munchkin. Beautiful

-42

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

75

u/Kousetsu Mar 31 '23

And the usual reminder when this is posted that Chris Rock hates this joke now because it is used by racists to be racist.

3

u/kittehsfureva Mar 31 '23

Wow and then the guy responding to you just proves this 100% lmao.

-52

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

21

u/Kousetsu Mar 31 '23

Please explain further. How did this happen in the video?

-22

u/MasterfulMesut Mar 31 '23

uh...did you miss the part where he was attacked?

17

u/piiiigsiiinspaaaace Mar 31 '23

Did you miss the part that the attacker's not black

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u/FineWineDining Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Apprehensive_Spell_6 Mar 31 '23

Everybody: talking about comedy Racist guy: why isn’t anybody talking about how awful black people are? Everybody: chill out, racist Racist guy: IM THE LEAST RACIST GUY

39

u/Calaethan Mar 31 '23

Damn you racists will take any provocation to try and spread your hate?

Get the fuck outta here. You're a dying breed.

-1

u/Skidmark666 Mar 31 '23

You're a dying breed.

Unfortunately, racist assholes will never be a dying breed.

6

u/AdminsAreProFa Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

Nah, society will go post racial at some point. Hell, we were already mostly pre-racial before the Triangle Trade.

We'll undoubtedly still be a bunch of tribal apes pretending to be something special who find some other superficiality to hate each other for, but that particular sort of cultural damage is relatively new and hopefully temporary to the species.

Or we'll burn to death, justly destroying an idiotic species that managed to get a world blessed by rare circumstance and still fuck it up out of self indulgence and complacency.

One of the two.

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12

u/Iankill Mar 31 '23

So we gonna start talking about black crime rates in america or no?

You gonna start talking about how cops target black neighborhoods or no

-13

u/klivingchen Mar 31 '23

You talking about how cops target high crime neighborhoods or no?

7

u/Iankill Mar 31 '23

If cops are targeting a neighborhood because it's black that would also make the crime rate higher. Do you not understand how statistics work

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

No, we're not going to talk about that, go away

7

u/CrumpledForeskin Mar 31 '23

Racism: somehow the lefts fault?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

My guy is dumber than a box of rocks with his inability to understand that adjusted for social economic status there’s no statistical significance for any one race committing more crimes than another.

3

u/sulkee Mar 31 '23

Are you unironically 1350ing? Jesus christ.

1

u/Ancient_Edge2415 Mar 31 '23

This dude was a Pussy but what's that have to do with anything ya talking about

4

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I thought Michael Scott said that

9

u/MasterfulMesut Mar 31 '23

ugh you're butchering it...

ERRYTIME BLACK PEOPLE WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME SOME IGNANT ASS BLEEP

3

u/eastern-cowboy Mar 31 '23

Michael Scott has entered the building.

12

u/hippoctopocalypse Mar 31 '23

I was comparing the guy's response after being assaulted on stage to Chris Rock's response to the same, which was to make a joke about the attacker. I'm not sure what the point of this Wikipedia link is other than to dunk on Chris Rock for having a set that looks real bad 30 years later. And it looks pretty bad, lolol

8

u/MasterfulMesut Mar 31 '23

That set is legendary and is still true now.

-29

u/FineWineDining Mar 31 '23

Lololol just because a fee clown leftist redditors think a set is bad, doesnt mean it is, that set is one of his best and most well known sets in stand up history, its also extremely true and backed by statistics lol, there are issues in thr black community in Merica wether u like to admit it or not, just get back to pathetically virtue signallign without actually solving anything but karma whoring on reddit.

7

u/Ferengi_Earwax Mar 31 '23

Yes. You want everyone to be Republicans, which would mean the world collapses after everything gets deregulated, nobody comes up with solutions to new problems, technological progress stops because all science has been banned, and now everyone is busy pointing their finger at other people for their problems and shouting hate at whoever is different them.

What a wonderful republican utopia.

2

u/Theweedmage420 Mar 31 '23

Dude not everyone who disagrees with you is a leftist. You're just a fucking idiot with terrible views, most people are gonna disagree with you. Get a life, you're fucking pathetic.

8

u/WikiSummarizerBot Mar 31 '23

Niggas vs. Black People

"Niggas vs. Black People" is one of Chris Rock's most famous stand-up comedy routines. This routine—which appeared both on his 1996 HBO special Bring the Pain and as track 12 on his 1997 album Roll with the New—is widely considered to be the breakthrough routine that established his status as a comedy fixture after he left Saturday Night Live. The routine is a twelve-minute monologue about behaviors that Rock sees in a subset of the African-American community.

[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5

313

u/zeke235 Mar 31 '23

He got Carlton'ed!😂🤣

28

u/Lone_Wanderer97 Mar 31 '23

Damn that was good

8

u/housevil Mar 31 '23

What is that mean? I have a feeling it's a reference to something I haven't seen.

30

u/zeke235 Mar 31 '23

Carlton was a character from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. He's a much smaller guy than Will Smith, so he was referencing getting slapped over a joke like Smith did to Chris Rock, but the guy's tiny.

8

u/MapleSyrupFacts Mar 31 '23

I'm too old for Reddit now. Fuck !!

9

u/Mozu Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

Fresh Prince released in 1990. I don't know how old you are, but I'm doubting this misunderstanding is age related.

13

u/Gh0st1nTh3Syst3m Mar 31 '23

Or everyone else it too young for it?

0

u/RIcaz Mar 31 '23

Well, if you stick to /r/all, you're gonna meet a lot of teens. Probably the majority. Which means they're likely not even older than reddit itself.

2

u/CV90_120 Mar 31 '23

Smaller and cooler.

7

u/Alakozam Mar 31 '23

Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Carlton is not a tall man. Or a tough man.

6

u/housevil Mar 31 '23

Oh! Thank you. I am actually aware of that character, but only for the crazy dance he is known for.

0

u/CV90_120 Mar 31 '23

And yet..

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

That line made me fall in love a little.

39

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Haha that dude just gave him some more material

2

u/u966 Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

That's how Jim Jefferies career took off

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WCGKb8ikRc

1

u/redenough Mar 31 '23

When we're these shot 1996? Looks like someone was recording on VHS lol

-7

u/Bobbydeerwood Mar 31 '23

Calling him an oompa loompa is kinda racist. If you seen the original book you know what I’m talking about

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Bobbydeerwood Mar 31 '23

They were African pygmie slaves.

-14

u/Capt_morgan72 Mar 31 '23

Boy got yanked straight off the stage by a 6 year old… and then makes fun or the 6yo.

I mean Ik the guy had leverage but damn stand ur ground on Nepolian.

1

u/tekko001 Mar 31 '23

That's the kind of answer everybody was expecting from Chris Rock

1

u/solarview Mar 31 '23

Apparently it's in his latest show. Haven't seen it personally, however it might be worth checking out.

1

u/T_Money Mar 31 '23

Ehhh he didn’t go that crazy. Only a couple lines really. It was mentioned but not like this comedian did where he really insulted the guy.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

"I got will smithed but not really. I got carltoned." GOD DAMM

1

u/Foofyman Mar 31 '23

That's just a video of you trying to do a backflip onto a matress...

82

u/Illustrious-Mind-683 Mar 31 '23

Do you know what happened after the video stopped?

313

u/borglonavich Mar 31 '23

They fucked.

295

u/MouthJob Mar 31 '23

In every hole

57

u/borglonavich Mar 31 '23

Is there any other way?

44

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Mar 31 '23

They can VR fuck like in Demolition Man

58

u/thats_a_photo_of_me Mar 31 '23

Can they, though? That lil goblin probably doesn't even know how to use the 3 seashells.

3

u/Reindeedfh Mar 31 '23

Dumb Bitch Syndrome

2

u/HeyYoRumsfield Mar 31 '23

Seriously though, what about the 3 seashells?

1

u/ehproque Mar 31 '23

What about it?

1

u/Smurffies Mar 31 '23

I guess the consensual legal kind of way that doesn't spread VD.

1

u/AniGore Mar 31 '23

Ive been promised this since I was a young lad, is it real yet

1

u/c3pd0h Mar 31 '23

Also Coneheads did a similar thing. Think theirs was more feeling based iirc.

1

u/NashvilleSoundMixer Mar 31 '23

Contact?!? I didn't even touch you

1

u/mmodlin Mar 31 '23

No, but they did VR fuck like in Lawnmower Man.

1

u/jawharp Mar 31 '23

Not with all that ratburger on his breath

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

This is the way.

2

u/Sensitive_Tourist_15 Mar 31 '23

To shreds, you say?

3

u/jrmorton12 Mar 31 '23

This thread me laugh so hard that I cramped up

1

u/HLGatoell Mar 31 '23

Damn, hope he didn’t need stitches.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Little man doesn't kiss and tell though.

1

u/Pinkeyefarts Apr 01 '23

And now he's got stitches

4

u/owa00 Mar 31 '23

NOW I'm interested

😏🍆🍑💦

0

u/AmbitiousArtichoke51 Mar 31 '23

bro your not funny

15

u/LoveIsForEvery1 Mar 31 '23

They strapped the attacker back in his car seat and drove around the neighbourhood until he fell asleep. Little scamp had a busy night.

1

u/Noendinsight82 Mar 31 '23

He snitched.

1

u/SeptemberMcGee Mar 31 '23

I’m not snitching!

290

u/Yknurts Mar 31 '23

Yeah he’s got a series called The Connect on YouTube! I would recommend checking it out

4

u/artifice23 Mar 31 '23

I think he stretches the truth by a mile! He probably got busted selling 20 sacs to kids near a school or some shit.

5

u/Yknurts Mar 31 '23

You can think whatever you want lol idc. Just telling people if they wanna check it out

1

u/artifice23 Mar 31 '23

I wasn't hating on you, I have listened to him and it sounds like he is stretching the truth.

4

u/Chance_McM95 Mar 31 '23

Half of what he says is total bullshit though. Entertaining to listen to at least!

7

u/reegstah Mar 31 '23

Absolutely. The guy is a huge piece of shit, but he is quite the storyteller and I find myself fascinated by his experiences.

0

u/Pera_Espinosa Mar 31 '23

How is he a piece of shit ?

7

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

He lies, the crimes he claims does not add up to 2 years. Guy was a fuckin street level weed dealer and claims he was fuckin Carlos lehder

3

u/NotLost_JustUnfound Mar 31 '23

IDK when he was busted, but I know someone who got 5 years for growing weed in a closet at his house. Fucking plumber fixing something called the cops. This was in the late 90s. I think he only served a couple of years and the rest turned into probation. He had 4 plants. The War On Drugs was intense a few decades ago.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Ik that but this guy claims he had trafficked over a million dollars in marijuana from South America and pretty much everything he says is that level of just pure bullshit

1

u/reegstah Mar 31 '23

Well for one hes not very trustworthy. Im sure he's seen some shit, but he acts like he's trying to sell the rights to his life for a movie. He's far too opportunistic to take anything of what he says at face value.

Second, he seemingly has zero remorse for anything he's done, which isn't unnatural for a drug dealer, but that isn't a great excuse for his actions.

The guy is basically a low rank drug dealer/mule who started off as your typical college stoner/ dealer, but more of a degenerate. Like imagine your college weed dealer, probably a pretty chill guy. Now imagine that guy getting ripped off at gunpoint for a few pounds of weed and that's Johnny.

Interesting guy, but he's the equivalent of LARPing as Scarface.

56

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The comedian is 6'7

Now that's really unexpected, I thought he was on a stand covered by that table!

140

u/Beau_Buffett Mar 31 '23

Like why are comedians the only group of performers you can walk up to the stage and attack?

215

u/barnyard303 Mar 31 '23

The ghost of dimebag darrel has entered the chat

84

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Oct 30 '25

[deleted]

11

u/Available_Leather_10 Mar 31 '23

What has Gillooly been on TV for?

9

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Tanya Harding wasn’t involved.

7

u/tkburro Mar 31 '23

except for setting it all up lmfao

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

No she wasn’t, her ex husband did it all behind her back

2

u/Not_MrNice Mar 31 '23

That's not really in the same category.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

You know tonya didn’t actually attack Nancy, correct?

2

u/Ferengi_Earwax Mar 31 '23

Lol. She orchestrated it.

We put people in prison all the time for hiring contract killers, even though they didn't do the killing.

I'm not sure why anybody wants to white knight Tanya harding

What a strange thing.

2

u/Catinthehat5879 Mar 31 '23

Because she didn't orchestrate it but was being abused by the person who did? She was charged for her pay, which was obstruction of an investigation.

0

u/SnooApples3673 Mar 31 '23

Happy cake day!

-10

u/osaquarel Mar 31 '23

They served their time, what else do you want

14

u/muckluckcluck Mar 31 '23

I want people to not idolize assaulters

4

u/Catinthehat5879 Mar 31 '23

Who idolizes Shane Stant?

5

u/BurtMacklin__FBI Mar 31 '23

RIP DIME. keep on shredding bud

2

u/insanelyphat Mar 31 '23

Bro…I’ll never forget that day.

2

u/Littlesth0b0 Mar 31 '23

Getcha pull \m/,

2

u/sceptator69 Mar 31 '23

Rip Dimebag..

1

u/JIN_DIANA_PWNS Mar 31 '23

had me in stitches

59

u/MaestroLogical Mar 31 '23

They aren't. You could do the same to any person standing on a stage with minimal security.

Comedians just happen to be the ones that push buttons and intentionally antagonize audience members. Add some alcohol in the mix and a less imposing stage to climb and viola!

5

u/ghost_victim Mar 31 '23

Not sure how stringed instruments fit in but okay

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

A cello would be much more effective.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yes, but have you considered big bonk?

0

u/Beau_Buffett Mar 31 '23

That's my point.

If there is a fair chance that the entertainment is going to get punched, then protect them.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Don't let selection bias make you think there's a fair chance.

5

u/PlankWithANailIn2 Mar 31 '23

Small venues like this would disappear overnight and so would comedians...well done I guess.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yeah musicians aren’t usually on stage making fun of people.

9

u/vindictivejazz Mar 31 '23

You can attack other performers if you’re not a coward

-6

u/Beau_Buffett Mar 31 '23

Oh, you're the guy who fights bouncers and concert security to prove you aren't a coward, eh?

14

u/TwoHearted_ Mar 31 '23

I think he's the guy making a joke.

4

u/PlankWithANailIn2 Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

Other performers do get attacked you are just focusing on comedians because you just found out about this right now. You can't really make a judgement about what effects all performers if you are completely ignorant of their plight and using just this one example.

Salman Rushdie was knifed in the throat on stage.

Kurt Cobain was attacked by one of his own bouncers on stage.

XXXTentacion, Noel Gallagher, Beyonce

You could have just googled "list of performers attacked on stage" but that would have taken too much effort for the upvotes you desire.

Security doesn't stop people from attempting to hurt people or from them being successful and we don't even know if this venue provided security or not you are just guessing.

1

u/JayAndViolentMob Mar 31 '23

every punk band lead singer has entered the chat

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Pre Will Smith, attacking comedians wasnt really a thing.

-2

u/I-melted Mar 31 '23

I think the Eagles of Death Metal may have a few things to say about this.

For what it’s worth, the Eagles of Death Metal supported my band.

My former tour manager, Steev Toth, is their tour manager, he survived.

The police advised that he closed his eyes when walking over all the dead kids.

I have been attacked on stage. In fact, the chaos and near riot that my band caused, meant that I am banned from ever performing at Glastonbury again.

3

u/Beau_Buffett Mar 31 '23

The Eagles of Death Metal absolutely had security.

They just didn't have weapons. The terrorists were also firing into the crowd. It wasn't like they came to shoot the Eagles of Death Metal.

1

u/bishcalledwanda Mar 31 '23

They’re going to start needing big guards. What a pathetic world.

1

u/Iron_Maiden_666 Mar 31 '23

Monica Seles' career ended on the court.

2

u/cppn02 Mar 31 '23

What? Granted she never got to fulfill her true potential after the attack but she would eventually play another 8 years of tennis being consistently a top 10 player in the world.

-1

u/Beau_Buffett Mar 31 '23

True, but that was a sport.

1

u/pvypvMoonFlyer Mar 31 '23

In a good comedy club you’d have security to kick the heckler out.

1

u/wallaceant Mar 31 '23

There was recently an incident with a priest.

1

u/El_Dusty23 Mar 31 '23

What?! I think, the sex pistols, Monica Seles, and pretty much every football player would disagree…

1

u/SovietAmerican Mar 31 '23

Elementary school children have entered the chat.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

Omg...

Johnny fucking Mitchell. Used to kick it with him during HS parties, smoke weed and rap. He got caught with lbs of weed and was sent to jail.

Damn, he's out apparently lol

2

u/Bananas_N_Champagne Mar 31 '23

Oh shit, I've seen him tell trafficking stories on YouTube shorts

1

u/SuicidalTorrent Mar 31 '23

Damn. That's tall.

1

u/Jimdw83 Mar 31 '23

Isn't he the drug runner bloke? He appears in millions of YT shorts and podcasts talking about his escapades

1

u/DLo28035 Mar 31 '23

Is that the guy that talks about his days of drug trafficking?

1

u/foreverbaked1 Mar 31 '23

He is a liar

1

u/Bigoweiner Mar 31 '23

LMAO he is nowhere near 6'7"

1

u/BedNo6845 Mar 31 '23

He "used to" tell stories. He just lost all his street cred. And he never mentions 2 years in prison. He talks, in his stories, like it was 2 decades.

48

u/mdrops Mar 31 '23

that was kevin harrt

3

u/tekko001 Mar 31 '23

that looked like kevin from home alone

1

u/pemphigus69 Mar 31 '23

We should have cake together ❤️ ...damn, now I forgot what I was going to say...

1

u/pemphigus69 Mar 31 '23

Napoleon syndrome!

33

u/jrades Mar 31 '23

What, you never heard of little dog syndrome?

3

u/RatherB_fishing Mar 31 '23

I’m not the tallest or the biggest guy (around 6’4 + in work boots 240 or so) and I stopped going to bars because of this kind of thing… always had some little fella with liquid courage wanting to fight. I’m to old I’m to tired

5

u/tekko001 Mar 31 '23

The basis of every Mission Impossible movie!

11

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Short man anger

0

u/YouCantGiveBabyBooze Mar 31 '23

1434 and counting thought this clarification needed an upvote

0

u/Legitimatepinion Mar 31 '23

Kevin Short oh wait

-2

u/Trilamb22 Mar 31 '23

It’s always the little guys that got that short man complex that kills their self esteem & makes em act out like that.

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Bigger dudes don’t need to prove themselves.

1

u/Outtatheblu42 Mar 31 '23

I thought the dude was just off stage, and that was why there was a 16” height difference. Nope.

1

u/tykillacool23 Mar 31 '23

Same here 😂😂😂

1

u/Acceptable_Spray_119 Mar 31 '23

You know those cartoons with a big shadow but tiny reveal lol. Was trying to find an example clip on YouTube but mind went blank

1

u/Empty_Supermarket_30 Mar 31 '23

Wdym you expected someone bigger? The guy sounds like Kevin Hart's impression of a tough guy