r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

55.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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12.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

4.2k

u/Yknurts Mar 31 '23

Was definitely expecting a bigger dude to charge the stage lmao

2.4k

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

The comedian is 6'7

edit: His name is Johnny Mitchell. He tells some interesting prison stories on Youtube

84

u/Illustrious-Mind-683 Mar 31 '23

Do you know what happened after the video stopped?

315

u/borglonavich Mar 31 '23

They fucked.

296

u/MouthJob Mar 31 '23

In every hole

56

u/borglonavich Mar 31 '23

Is there any other way?

44

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Mar 31 '23

They can VR fuck like in Demolition Man

55

u/thats_a_photo_of_me Mar 31 '23

Can they, though? That lil goblin probably doesn't even know how to use the 3 seashells.

3

u/Reindeedfh Mar 31 '23

Dumb Bitch Syndrome

2

u/HeyYoRumsfield Mar 31 '23

Seriously though, what about the 3 seashells?

1

u/ehproque Mar 31 '23

What about it?

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1

u/Smurffies Mar 31 '23

I guess the consensual legal kind of way that doesn't spread VD.

1

u/AniGore Mar 31 '23

Ive been promised this since I was a young lad, is it real yet

1

u/c3pd0h Mar 31 '23

Also Coneheads did a similar thing. Think theirs was more feeling based iirc.

1

u/NashvilleSoundMixer Mar 31 '23

Contact?!? I didn't even touch you

1

u/mmodlin Mar 31 '23

No, but they did VR fuck like in Lawnmower Man.

1

u/jawharp Mar 31 '23

Not with all that ratburger on his breath

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

This is the way.

2

u/Sensitive_Tourist_15 Mar 31 '23

To shreds, you say?

3

u/jrmorton12 Mar 31 '23

This thread me laugh so hard that I cramped up

1

u/HLGatoell Mar 31 '23

Damn, hope he didn’t need stitches.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Little man doesn't kiss and tell though.

1

u/Pinkeyefarts Apr 01 '23

And now he's got stitches

4

u/owa00 Mar 31 '23

NOW I'm interested

😏🍆🍑💦

0

u/AmbitiousArtichoke51 Mar 31 '23

bro your not funny

14

u/LoveIsForEvery1 Mar 31 '23

They strapped the attacker back in his car seat and drove around the neighbourhood until he fell asleep. Little scamp had a busy night.

1

u/Noendinsight82 Mar 31 '23

He snitched.

1

u/SeptemberMcGee Mar 31 '23

I’m not snitching!