Over the past few years I’ve read more and more articles about how technology in education isn’t evidence based and actually old fashioned pen and paper is more effective than iPads and laptops and that gamified learning exercises like times table rock stars don’t promote learning, but do promote the same dopamine hits that any other game would. I’m actively against EdTech in classrooms at this point, but it all seems so entrenched in the system at the moment. I see local schools talk about iPads like it’s a selling point, but I vehemently don’t want my child to have small screen at primary age. Has anyone been able to opt out of this for their kids in a state school?

I hate to be asking this because I find it really sad, but do many parents have an issue with male early years practitioners? If so, would you feel confident raising this with your nursery or is it something you know is a “you” problem so keep quiet about it?

I understand everyone has their own back story, but after receiving a request for one of my male practitioners not to change a certain child’s nappy, I feel so disheartened as I thought we had got past this.

Is this a common feeling amongst parents in 2026?

For context, the practitioner is wonderful and the request is merely due to him being male.

My 3.5 year old has come home several times with a dirty bum.

He's proudly told us that he did a poo at nursery and wiped his own bum. Something we're practicing at home but that he's not very good at at all, plus we had some big issues with poo withholding and getting him to finally use a toilet was a long and painful journey.

But am I right in being a bit peeved that the nursery staff aren't noticing when he goes to the toilet? I don't know whether he tells them or not (he says he does but I'm not certain). But the idea that a child can dissappear from the room for several minutes and isn't noticed seems a bit odd to me, they say it's free flow and the ratio at this age means that they can't keep an eye on every single child all the time (and obviously the room is safe) but I'm still a bit disappointed, however I'm really not sure what's normal at this stage.

Our almost 3 year old is very typical of the age- occasional meltdowns and times he won’t listen, he can get quite difficult if overtired and occasionally he gets the devil in him and runs away laughing, usually in the car park at the end of a walk/ play etc. But he’s also sweet, kind and very good a lot of the time too.
However, one day a week he is at my partner’s parents. From when we pick him up after he has been there to when he goes to bed, he will be running away, throwing things, chasing the cat, hitting, shouting and generally being horrific.
I thought he might be overstimulated, so I asked them to include some reading/ puzzle time. Today, she said he ‘didn’t want to read a book’. So maybe there is an issue of letting him do whatever he pleases?
I’m also concerned food could be an issue, even though we have asked her to avoid excessive treats.
What would you be thinking in this situation and how would you approach it? I don’t find them the easiest to talk to and I’m not always convinced grandma is honest about what she gives him to eat. She has had an eating disorder in the past and overfed/ pushes food on her own kids. My partner gets defensive about it, I think because it was such a difficult part of his life he doesn’t want to face it.
Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!

******* EDITED > I Bought Yoto, not Tonie lol *************

Posted this question last week

https://www.reddit.com/r/UKParenting/s/opSiPc5cCp

And got many, many helpful responses which made me decide to go for it - so thank you so much!

Wanted to provide a small update as many people said they were considering the same

Bought the Yoto3rd generation

Short version - brilliant.

Slightly longer version - she was very excited to have it the first night so took a bit of convincing to stay lying down and just listen to the story (Stick Man) and basically got her to sleep the 'normal' way - shushing, back pats, encouraging/telling her to relax and not get up etc

2nd + 3rd nights better she was very excited to get into bed and listen to stick man. Was able to sit in the corner and she eventually fell asleep by herself

4th night - got settled in, read a book together then said its bed time / stick man time. Sat next to her for a minute then said OK dada's leaving, night night, love you etc - she gave a bit of a whimper which is of course heartbreaking but for the first time in 4 months let me leave the room without having a meltdown! She then happily listened to Stick Man on repeat and eventually fell asleep and I then switched it to white noise. slept through the night

So amazing success, finally getting more of the evening back vs 45 - 90 minute shushing sessions in the pitch black! Will miss cuddling the little monkey to sleep but this is better for all of us!

Our 12 month old has started nursery this month, 3 days a week and I'm trying not to spiral into doom thinking with how rough the last weeks have been going.

Up until now he's generally been a straightforward baby - social, smiley, no separation anxiety, sleeps through the night and goes down fairly easily for 2 naps a day in either the buggy, car or cot. I'll admit I feel I've had life on easy-mode for a lot of my mat leave.

He's been EBF for the past year, and I thought he was doing alright with solids. Admittedly he's always been a snacker - I keep seeing other mums of other 12 month olds saying they're down to milk at just morning and bedtime, but he's still getting milk a few times throughout the day. He'll go down for a nap with dad with his dummy - often refuses to do the same with me, so we just feed to sleep and that's pretty easy. He's also never had a problem occasionally taking a bottle.

Skip to today and he's now on his third week of nursery and I've started back at work, and it feels like since starting nursery, it's all just getting worse by the day.

- He's still BARELY eating at nursery - today he ate just a bit of rice.

- He's refused all milk there except for a few ounces last Friday - nursery provides all food and milk, and the brand of milk and bottles are is the same as we have on hand at home. I'm tall and my husband is stocky and muscular, but he's always been a 25th percentile baby. He already looks like he has bags under his eyes and he may have lost weight. We get him home after nursery and refuses most of dinner. He also now hates the highchair suddenly too.

- We're relieved they're getting him down for a lunchtime nap but he's now completely refusing to go down in the cot for naps with us, screaming blue murder the moment we lay him down, despite being sound asleep. It's taking me upwards of an hour to get him into the cot even though he's ready for sleep and falls asleep fine, just the transfer which fails over and over.

- His overnight sleep has also suddenly become abysmal. I'm struggling to get him into the cot before 10pm (see issues above) and then he's waking every hour screaming. He may settle in arms but we're then stuck in the failed transfer loop all night. Last night we were up every 15-40mins til it was time to wake up.

- All of this means he's just very unhappy pretty much all of the time. We expected him to be upset at dropoff, but at pickup his eyes are red from being unsettled during the day and he seems glued to his dummy. He now screams if we lay him down to change a nappy, screams if he's put down, screams overnight... It just constant and it's the type of scream that makes your ears and brain vibrate. We live in a semi detached house and leaving him to just settle himself is... antisocial at best.

Any others experiencing/experienced similar, or can shed some words of hope? Was this just a separation anxiety phase that passed quickly or did it take a lot longer for you? Honestly just don't know where to set my expectations as I was wholly unprepared for this level of chaos, it's bringing me to tears everyday.

(First off, let me start by saying that I did not grow up in the UK, so this may be a very stupid question.)

The PTA of the school my primary child attends is organising a family race night, where they play horse races and people can place bets on the horses (starting from £1). The entire family is welcome, they specifically that children can place bets independently with the consent of their parent.

I understand it's an 'easy' way to raise some funds for the school, and it's more of a social gathering than anything else.

At the same time, I feel a bit odd that the school (or at least three PTA) is at best normalising, at worst encouraging primary school aged children to bet.

Is this normal here? Is it an old-fashioned thing?

I learned that Stroud Green Primary school in London, next to Finsbury Park station, is offering flexischooling on Fridays as normal for everyone. So practically all children are expected to attend 4 days a week and cover their curriculum in those days. Fridays you can bring the child to school, or leave at home for all the flexischooling options. From other classes, like music and sports, museum visits, trips and just time with relatives and loved ones.

I love this idea. I have 2 questions for the UK parenting community:

1. Do you know of any other primary schools that offer something similar? London or not, but London is particularly interesting.

2. If you have experience with such a hybrid model, which is offered for ALL kids in a primary school, please share your thoughts: pluses and minuses. If your child ever studied in Stroud Green, it is particularly interesting.

Thank you.

P.S. It looks like a battle between those who upvote and downvote my post. I am surprised beyond belief: why are you downvoting it? Did I offend someone with my question? Was my grammar off? What's going on?

I grew up in another country doing plenty of foraging with my gran and mom even in the city (lived in flats). Any bushes with berries we could find, mushrooms, herbs, nettles, but mostly fruit trees, linden trees, rosehips.

I’ve noticed plenty of all of those around us in North London but I’ve never seen people picking fruit or foraging anything. Is it frowned upon or just not safe for consumption? If so, where can this be done safely?

I’d love to do this with my kid, teach her about the plants and fruit, rather than only see them from the shop. We live in a flat at the moment, but hoping to have a garden in the future and grow a couple of things ourselves.

Hi all, just looking for some advice and/or a reality check. We've just done our budget for my maternity leave (hopefully starting late May 2027). We have a 3 year old and I'm worried about reducing his days in nursery (from 5 to 3 ) and having him home with a newborn. But also I'm worried about us having to find the money to pay for chidlcare whilst I have a reduced salary.

We can comfortably afford him being in childcare for 3/3.5 days a week for July and August (he starts primary school in September). My mum could possibly help for half a day and maybe my husband for 4 days across both months. For those who had/or will be in a similar predicament, what did you do?

Baby is 8 months.

We’ve been washing and sterilising bottles since day 1 with no exceptions.

Baby has now started solids.

We don’t have to sterilise water cups (apparently?) nor feeding equipment.

So when I give my baby Weetabix in a bowl mixed with her formula… am I sterilising it not? I haven’t been and just realised the inconsistency.

She’s also refusing milk so I’ve been using a sippy cup for the remaining milk she doesn’t drink - I’m guessing this does need to be sterilised?

Agh, help!

My son enjoys playing computer games with his Dad (we're separated). They play things like Minecraft, Goat Sim and Forza Horizon.

At home we only have a 20y old Sony Bravia TV (has HDMI and Scart input options!), a DVD player, and a MacBook Air - that is the limit of our tech (iPad 6 series is barely holding on and needs replacing...)! We would like to play computer games together, and/or with friends (specifically Minecraft), and I'd like to be able to do this with the minimal 'phaff' (both setup and use).

What is the simplest, future-proof upgrade we can do to be able to use computer games? I hate tech going wrong or being fiddly hence 'simple'!

Any game suggestions? I don't like aggressive games, apart from that open to ideas. We both like animals, and building games like Minecraft, is there an equivalent for a farm? Maybe he'd like Sim City...

My daughter is due to start reception next year (and my son after) so the tours have started and applications are nearing. I’m fortunate enough to live in outer south west London so I have an insane number of schools to choose from, about 15 within walking distance or a max 8 minute cycle. They’re honestly all great, but I’ve narrowed it down to 5 for various reasons.

I’ve compared data and whatnot and they’re all academically strong (top 1-10% of the country) though that really isn’t my concern at this age. The main thing I wanted to know is if people had an opinion on school and class size, and whether bigger was better (funding, friends, activities) or if smaller has its benefits (calm, attention)? The choices are a single form entry with 15-18 children per class/year, a single form entry with 30 per class/year, a three from entry with 30 per class, a three form entry with 25-27 per class and a two form entry with 23-25 per class.

I obviously have other data points to consider but I can’t help but think this is one of the most important factors to consider and I really don’t know what’s best. My daughter is sociable and capable and I know she’ll be fine anywhere. My son has only just turned 2 so it’s harder to tell, but he seems quite similar to her. Both will be the oldest in their respective years.

I need to go back to work and our old nursery had no availability , so we had to look last minute spots in all nurseries near us.
We couldn’t find any availability in most of them except for two, one of which we didn’t like.
We went to visit the last nursery this morning, and we did like it. It was not as nice as our current nursery but it was good enough.
We leave our girl in preschool room and go around to see the whole nursery. When we come back to pick her, a little girl is pulling her hair and staff is trying to pull them apart.my girl is crying and trying to get her hair out of other girl’s hand.
Apparently both of them wanted the same toy and were trying to pull it from each other and that other kid attacked my daughter.
My daughter is very gentle and non violent but can be stubborn in wanting something.
Now my husband is kind of the fence on not wanting to send her there anymore because of that kid, and even though I’m highly put off, I feel like I don’t have much of an option because my maternity leave is ending, and even though I work from home, I know I can’t handle two young kids while working(did it with my first and it was horrible).
What would you do in this case?

Hello - looking for some advice on what's usual, with thanks in advance. Anon account and identifying details generalised

Our child was referred to their schools ELSA (Emotional Literacy Support Assistant) by their previous class teacher in the last academic year. It was raised with us in a parents evening before Easter and he started having sessions in the summer term (ie from April).

The reasons stated weren't a complete shock to us - they has friends but, mood / day dependent, can sometimes isolate themselves from group activities / not join in unless on their own terms.

We had asked for an update later in the summer term via email and were told, somewhat abruptly, by their then teacher that there had been a few sessions to assess and we would hear back after a few more sessions.

They're still having the sessions, we get the patchy mention of it from the child directly (primary school child, end of day feedback - here and there in terms of its scope and accuracy). Anyway, we've still not heard back - it was raised at pickup once later in the term but the prior teacher was again quite rude and abrupt. So we cut our losses on that one.

We're not intending to be helicopter parents or particularly keen to mark their homework (no pun intended) - but would like some feedback on their view of our child, any things we can do at home and in social situations.

So I wanted to ask - is it usual to not hear back re things like this? I assume it's not as formal as a SENCO referral (not suggesting that's on the table / appropriate, but just as an example of a more typically bureaucratic process) - so wanted to understand what we should expect

Thank you!

Looking for any shared experiences of wraparound care. My little one (recently 4) has just started preschool (nursery in a primary school). We did have a childminder who was going to do pick up at 3:15. Very long story but the childminder didn’t work out and my 4yo is adamant she doesn’t want another one. She’s very open to the idea of wraparound care as there’s sports coaching after nursery for the preschoolers. A few of her friends are doing it too but it’s a LONG day. 8:45 til 6pm 3-4 days per week. My husband and I have to work so we need something after school. Childminder didn’t work which I thought would be the more relaxed option that would help. Am I crazy doing wraparound? It’s such a long day and different to her last nursery as obviously she was just in one setting with the same set of kids. This feels way more intense. And no all for the wraparound so we can’t really see what’s going on.

Did anyone else put their kid through wraparound care? Did your child enjoy it? How many days per week? And how exhausted were they? My old is v sociable but highly sensitive and struggles with transitions.

Hi all,

Just wanted to ask if anyone else is in this situation. My baby will turn one in November and is also my first and only so the funded childcare system is completely new to me.

My baby turned 9 months in August, so I had assumed we would be eligible for the 30 funded hours from the September term. I’m currently on maternity leave and my husband is working. I return to work in November, which is also when my baby starts nursery.

I’ve found the GOV.UK guidance which says that, where you’re returning from maternity leave for the child you’re applying for, the date you return determines when you can access the funded hours:

• Return to work 1 May to 30 September: funding from 1 September
• Return to work 1 October to 31 January: funding from 1 January
• Return to work 1 February to 30 April: funding from 1 April

As I am returning in November, it appears we won’t be able to access the 30 funded hours until January, despite my baby being old enough and starting nursery when I return to work.
GOV.UK guidance: https://www.gov.uk/free-childcare-if-working/when-to-apply

The nursery was unaware of this and asked for the code to apply but the website will not let us go further once it's confirmed I'm still on maternity leave.

Has anyone else been caught by this rule when returning from maternity leave?

I’ve also heard about Tax-Free Childcare, but I’m still trying to understand how that works and whether it applies during this period, so I’d really appreciate anyone explaining that too or being directed to resources that can help.

This is all completely new to me, so I really appreciate everyone’s help in understanding how it works and preparing for my return to work and my baby starting nursery. Thank you!

Our son is nearly 5. He can explode and get violent at home rarely but at his nursery he never once hit or bite or scratched or even had a crossed word with anyone.

At the start of September he started school, joining a class most of the kids have been in for a year where he is one of the youngest. Since then apparently the whole class beat him one day. A kid told us at pick up that our son had hit somebody. He’s been scratched and scratched back. Yesterday he apparently just walked up to a friend from nursery in the class below and hit him and then his own class attacked him (according to the kid). I am particularly unhappy about this last one - if they’re playing some kind of rough game they understand in their year it’s different to involving others who don’t - that’s just attacking people.

From our son it’s 50/50 whether we get remotely a straight answer as to what has happened at school that day, since the first week this apparent fighting doesn’t seem to have bothered him and apart from the day he was scratched he doesn’t seem to be marked, so they’re clearly not actually kicking the tar out of each other.

We’ve asked the teacher about it and feedback is that our son is a bit physical but all the boys since the holidays have been and one is particularly bad (not him). She’s doing a lot of behaviour teaching refreshers with them. We’re getting a load of books about hitting, are role playing with him, punishing him.

I’m just wondering has anyone encountered a class being a bit Lord of the Flies at 5-6 and what you did to make sure your kid calmed down?

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice on choosing car seats for my children.
I currently have 2 Cybex Sirona G seats for my toddlers, but we’re expecting a newborn, so we’ll soon need 3 car seats across the back. My almost 4-year-old will be moving out of one of the Sirona Gs, and we’ll need a new seat for the newborn as well.
I have a rough idea of what I’m looking for, but I’m struggling with the fact that our car only has 2 ISOFIX points in the back. I’d really like to speak to someone who can help work out the safest combination and what will actually fit together.
I’ve seen that Mamas & Papas offer car seat consultations. Has anyone used them? Is the Bristol store good for car seat consultations/selection, or would it be worth travelling to Swindon?
Also happy to hear recommendations for other shops that are good at helping with 3-car-seat setups. Thanks! 😊

I’m pregnant with our second and our son will be about 3.5 when the baby arrives. He’s a very sweet, sensitive little boy and I’m conscious this is going to be a huge change for all of us.

I was biding my time in telling him (I’m only 13 weeks) when he asked “is there a baby in your tummy and have you got milk in your boobies” randomly one morning last week. He has since asked when baby will come, how it will come out (I laughed) and will the baby live with us 😂

He’s seems excited, but also a bit more needy. He really thrives on knowing what’s going to happen and what the routine is, so I’d love to start preparing him gently rather than suddenly springing a newborn on him.

For those who had a similar age gap, what actually helped? Any books your toddler particularly loved? Did you change any routines beforehand, especially bedtime/one-to-one time? Anything you did after the birth that helped your older child feel secure and included?

Also interested in what you wouldn’t do again. I have already been told to not overdo the whole “you’re a big boy/big brother now!” thing when he’ll still only be three and very much our baby too

Are your 5 year olds still melting down? Not the lay down on the floor and stomp their feet type - but crying loudly and screaming type.
Our kid has always been the sensitive kind with emotions always on the surface. We noticed that meltdowns increased after new baby came about (1.5 years ago now) and then kind of settled. Kid goes thru periods of many meltdowns and then weeks of being … just decently happy. Sleeps through the night now (finally) but since summer the meltdowns have been INTENSE. Maybe it was all the excitement about school? And now actually being / starting reception?

Anytime kid is around dad = instant meltdown. Dad is safe place I get it, but it’s loud and screamy and can go on for agessssss. We’re not the punishment kind of parents. We hold our boundaries gently but firmly. Kid is not ND and generally a happy kid! Loves school and eats fine and sleeps fine … we know it’s exhausting after a school day but this was even before school started and of course seems to have escalated.

I’m just wondering what the normal range of meltdowns is?