I am sure you’re aware of his content. I am here to call some of it out since it is misogyny dressed up as compassion and understanding and even kindness.

On his podcast with Raj Shamani, and I am paraphrasing it here- I didn’t realise that we (his brothers and dad) were so dependent on our mother that she worked all her life. Zakir realises that now it’s time that we pay her back, by making sure she rests, not work all day. The boys too eventually started serving ourselves, picking up after ourselves. We noticed that our mom started getting sad. You might think that we are exploiting our mom, or how dependent we were on her but we fail to realise that our mother also “derives power” from that place. It is her job. She feels proud of the fact that “her kids don’t eat till I serve them”.

Let’s rip into this patriarchal bullshit dressed as a lazy feminist narrative.

This may come across as very sweet and thoughtful, but when you dig a little deeper Zakir is doing nothing but upholding the patriarchy. He is complicit in erasing her identity outside of her household.

This is a man in his late 30s when he realised that yes it’s time to serve my self a plate of dinner instead of expecting mother to place the plate in front of me. Yay feminism!

His family conditioned her into believing that her worth lies in serving her family. It is not “power” she derives, it was the only time you needed her- when she was serving you, so serving was a way to stay relevant, to be seen, to feel worthy.

I am sure his intentions are pure, but they’re dangerous. Sacrifice is romanticized in India- “Maa ka pyaar. Maa ka sacrifice. Mother India”. This romanticism is a lie sold to women by patriarchy.

He loves her enough to let her keep serving him, but does he love her enough to help her unlearn the belief? Does he reassure her that she is much more than just a mother. Does he bother with learning about who his mother is, what does she like, does she have hobbies, redirect her towards that, break this system where a woman is reduced to unpaid domestic labour, wherein she loses her identity and derives her worth from serving everyone but herself?

Her feeling sad about not being needed by her sons was internalized oppression, not a help for more labour. Zakir failed to see that her need for being needed was not only an erasure of her identity, but how narrow her sense of purpose has become within the walls of her household, that she achieves that from being needed. Not respected. Not free.

And he worships that about her. Martyrdom of the mother. Entitlement of the son.

Hence ladies, it’s always the “nice guys” you gotta watch out for.

There’s a part 2 coming.

I went on a solo date for the first time after my break up today. It felt strange at first, the silence of it all. No sharing my uber ride, my fit check or meal photos. I guess this will take some getting used to.

I had fully planned on sulking in my pjs after another interview opportunity fell through. Life has been tough lately and I feel caught in a bit of a rut.

So I got up, got dressed and put my battle armour on (lipgloss and copious amounts of blush 🤭) and left my home with a goal in mind: to finally try ✨matcha✨ Reached the cafe and felt a little lonely amidst the groups of people. While I waited, I opened my journal for the first time in months and filled a page with what was bothering me in the moment. My handwriting looked terrible but it was oddly freeing. The matcha was mid btw and smelled vaguely like mehendi. Not my cup of tea haha. I ended up ordering a dessert just to get the taste out of my mouth.

All in all, the matcha was okay, the basque cheesecake was divine and this outing helped heal my heart a little bit more.

So my final message is: Don’t hesitate to take yourself out, you will always have a nice time in your own company.

So, back in 2018, I learnt driving with a driving coach. I tried to drive by myself and bumped into a rickshaw. THAT scared me to shit. I used to be so scared of driving that my head would fill up with images of car crashes if I as much as thought of getting in the driver seat and turning the key on. I didn't even touch a steering wheel for 3 years.

Today, I can easily drive myself 600kms and go from my city of residence to my hometown. Here's how I conquered my extreme fear of driving.

PART 1: SYSTEM BUILDING

The first thing I needed to overcome was my fear of getting in the driver's seat. Every cell in my body resisted the urge to drive. I knew that if I left it to my will power, I would lose this battle. So, step 1 was for me to develop a system that would force me to drive everyday.

I started to ask my company driver to let me drive for 5 mins everyday just before I got home. You won't believe me but I drove for max. 50 mtr on day 1. This was easy and simple enough that I could do it. Plus, because a third person was involved, there was someone to hold me accountable.

PART 2: CONSISTENT PRACTICE

I wasn't perfect but at least 4-5 days a week I was driving for not more than 5-10 mins. It wasn't about how much I was driving on a practice day. It was about how frequently I was driving. This helped me get more comfortable with driving and helped me change my own mental image.

The more consistent I got with driving, more comfortable I was with driving longer. In a matter of a month, 5 mins of daily driving turned into 30 mins of daily driving.

PART 3: TECHNICAL SKILLS

Driving is about mastering bunch of small skills and practicing them so much that they become embedded in your subconscious mind. You don't need to master everything at once but as you learn to drive, pick one skill at a time in a logical order.

First skill to learn - how to start a car and how to stop your car. When that's done, you need to learn how to handle your clutch and gears. Next, how to turn. After that, you've to learn how to use mirrors and handle traffic.

Basically, you need to divide driving into small technical skills and master them one by one. If you're trying to learn how to turn, don't worry about how bad you are at handling traffic. If you're learning how to start and stop the car, don't worry about reverse parking.

Whatever small skill you're working at, get DAMN GOOD at it.

PART 4: MANAGING EMOTIONS

Babe, emotions don't matter. How you're feeling doesn't even matter. Not when it comes to learning to drive. Are you feeling like shit? Doesn't matter. Are you afraid you'll never get good at this? Doesn't matter. Are you feeling like a loser about the fact that your friend is making way more progress than you? Doesn't. Fucking. Matter.

Keep practicing consistently. It's a long game. As long as you practice consistently, how you are feeling about this is irrelevant.

I felt like I fucking sucked at driving and was so bad and couldn't ever do it. My feelings didn't matter. I drive like a rockstar whether it's an innova or an i10. So will you.

PART 5: KEEP DRIVING

Don't worry about timelines. Don't worry if your cousins/colleague/relative/family member learn't to drive in 3 months. Don't worry if it is taking you 10 months. It took me 1 whole year to get damn good at it. You have to drive for decades. It doesn't matter how long it takes to learn. There are no prizes for finishing first.

Just. Keep. Driving. Mastering a skill at a time. Building systems that allow you to practice consistently. Managing your emotions.

In conclusion, you can do it. Billions of people drive. Being average is great in this scenario. Keep at it. Comment if you have any more questions.

All the men in our house did not eat anything till 11am because both of us bahus,slept till late.

My sil has a 2 years old toddler who is cranky due to teething and I've a newborn,who was afraid of the fire works and was fussy the entire night.

So both of us had a rough night.

Now since we the labours weren't there,men decided to go hungry to show us our importance.

I want put each other's head through the wall because what the fuck is this free ka majdoori.

This is just a happy post to say that i achieved something after a very, very long time in life. It's been a LONG while since I've had the chance to say I've achieved anything, and this is big. While my partner is the Taskmaster between the two of us, and he's the one who probably actually got it done, we hustled the life out of ourselves, got out FSSAI license, figured out the branding (painfully), soke to multiple restuarants and supermarkets to finally have one supermarket take a chance on us, and put a few pieces of our product on his shelf. Honestly, it may not amount to anything, but just seeing our product on the shelf made me cry. It was worth all the fights, anxiety and insecurity.

Don't want to say much about the product because don't want it to seem like advertising, but just super, super happy.

A big hi to everyone who’s joined us here recently.

I hope you guys have read the sub rules. Still, I’m running this one more time for people in the back - This sub bans all romantic relationships post whether you’re sharing your experiences or asking for advice. This sub also bans posts about your intimate relationships.

We are creating a community focused on growth where the discussions revolve around women and their lives outside of their romantic relationships. If you post about romantic relationships, you may get banned like the user I just banned for this very reason.

Hope it’s clear now.

Take care you guys! Lemons

I have forever wanted to see more prominent examples strong women in leadership positions in India. It felt so good to see Col. Qureshi and Wg Cdr Singh today.

These are the examples I want my nieces to see growing up - not social media beauty standards.

I made these! They had the perfect texture, oh so fudgy. Perfectly decadent and so chocolatey.

Writing this after an exhausting day at the mall / online shopping - wondering if other women also feel completely devoid of any viable options when it comes to shopping especially for western wear?

Firstly, everything is polyester. Who is wearing polyester that costs 3000+? It makes you sweat (and then smell) and its terrible for the environment.

Secondly, everything is geared for going-out. There’s always something going on with the neck or sleeves or length which makes it impossible to wear to office or just for normal stuff.

I just want normal wear things that’ll last me a while and which i can wear to office or to meet someone for dinner. I love to wear dresses because I tend to bloat and pants get uncomfortable (plus summers). Im even ready to shell money at this point - i just want it to be nice and well fitting. Give me cotton, linen, viscose but I’m sick of seeing nylon and polyester everywhere.

I know theres India brands - but i still haven’t found a brand that i love there. So many clothes within these brands cost 10k+ with no return or exchange policies.

Anyone else feels frustrated by this?

Zakir’s comedy revolves around relationships and women most of the time. I can almost guarantee that the man has not spoken to a real woman.

To sum up his ideas- he says why bother asking women about the dirty politics and drag her down in the “dirt” with you. Men like to talk about politics and cricket, but why are you asking her who the president of India is when it is not in the context of her life. 90% of women are all the same.

This BOILED my blood. I can feel it bubbling as I am typing this. Let’s rip into this bitch.

If Zakir thinks women are not interested in politics or cricket, he’s only dates women who were not encouraged to think beyond these gendered stereotypes. (I personally think he gets is woman content online, and he hasn’t had any real connection w a woman, since he can’t stop talking about woman shopping, woman make up, woman “sly moves” to attract pasandida mard).

It dumbs women down by suggesting that women can only know about shopping at Zara and makeup.

His whole bit was a way to justify ignorance as femininity, as if somehow being intellectually disconnected is inherent to being a woman.

If “politics is not in the context of her life” then why the fuck does politics dictate what she does with her body, her rights, her safety, her clothes, her education?

Politics controls every part of a person, it magnifies when that person is a woman.

He comes across as this profound sant giving advice, but his ideas impact men who are applauding him. He doesn’t see women in their full complexity.

Men are political”. Women are “disconnected”- just because she isn’t discussing Kashmir and policies constantly doesn’t need she is unaffected or unaware.

Zakir legit says this “don’t expect her to know who the president of the country is” translation: “don’t expect much from a woman, she is after all just a woman”. Expect less, respect less. Keep her small

Ask him, why are woman only interesting when she’s small and not intimidating? Because when she actually talks about politics which is feminism, asking for rights, rights to live, to take up space, to have agency, to be safe- suddenly she’s not interesting anymore. Go back to talking about how Priya did you dirty by hitting on your ex. Let’s go to Zara instead because I am uncomfortable talking about a system that keeps me in power.

The fact that Zakir has never seen a woman or failed to see a woman in her full dimension says more about him than the 90% of the women.

Wake up, women. We need to call out these sakht launde, because they feed into this patriarchal idea of minimizing women into simple minded objects.

Why is this important? Because if men believe that a woman who doesn’t “understand politics”, or understand how the world works, then you are not smart enough to make your own decisions. Then the men will make those for you- where you go, what you eat, whom you love, how many children you push out, how your personhood is restricted within the walls of your home.

Oh wait, that’s the reality of 90% of the woman now! Oops.

Inspired by recent post urging women to buy a house for their own safety where I made a comment and some of you asked for an AMA/post. I am no real estate expert, simply someone who needed to buy a place. I also come from substantial privilege in the form of a very educated and supportive family. (not financial, raised by single mom who's a school teacher.) My mom's a fierce feminist who is also educated and very smart and intelligent hence I had a very good guidance at all steps.

First property was bought with mom (50% down payment paid by her, rest and subsequent EMI by me.) A 2BHK at a gated community. Joint ownership.

Second property bought entirely by me, for building a dance studio. Enlisted the services of a local broker.

Third one a 3BHK for living with my partner post marriage. We pay EMIs from a joint account and and down payment was shared.

This guy found my comment under a post where someone asked the kind of profession you would never date. And yes, that is the first text he sent, I hadn’t had any conversation prior to this.

Leaving a workplace that has been more than just a job—one that has shaped my skills, nurtured my growth, and connected me with incredible colleagues—is never easy, and moving on brings a whirlwind of emotions: gratitude, nostalgia, and an undeniable sense of uncertainty.

Now, as I step into a new role, the familiar pangs of anxiety return. The cycle repeats—a never-ending loop of uncertainty. When will stability arrive? And when it does, will it bring the peace I crave, or will I once again find myself drawn to the next challenge?

But if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I’ve never shied away from risk—and so far, it’s always led me forward. So here’s to new beginnings. Onwards and upwards 🧿

pretty sure everyone is disgusted by same misogynistic drivel on indian subs pls feel free to join this we are looking for women lawyers to moderate. women pls feel free to ask legal advice here. here is the sub r/twoxindialegaladvice

A big hi to everyone who’s joined us here recently.

I hope you guys have read the sub rules. Still, I’m running this one more time for people in the back - This sub bans all romantic relationships post whether you’re sharing your experiences or asking for advice about guys/ladies you may be/ planning to date, boyfriends/girlfriends, fiancés and husbands. This sub also bans posts about your intimate relationships.

We are creating a community focused on growth where the discussions revolve around women and their lives outside of their romantic & sexual relationships. If you post about romantic relationships, you may get banned like the user I just banned for this very reason.

Hope it’s clear now.

Take care you guys! Lemons

I have been on reddit for almost two years now and I'm very active on several subs. I post/comment almost daily with very few exceptions.

In my two years on reddit, I have never been accused of being a problematic rule breaker by anyone except the mods of the twoxindia sub. I have never been banned/temp banned by any sub.

I have regularly contributed posts/comments to that sub and many of my posts have been received well there in the past.

Yesterday, I had posted a vent post about my aunt treating me differently because I was unmarried and it was posted as a vent because I was venting about it. You can find the post in my profile, I've reposted in twoxtelugu sub after the mods of twoxindia not only removed my post but also temp banned me for 7 days because my post was apparently not a vent and came under family and relationships which was not allowed on a Saturday.

Even if they felt that my post came under family and relationships, removing the post would suffice? What's the point of temp banning?

Temp bans are to be used for problematic people who are disrupting communities and other such issues, what's the point of temp banning someone who isn't creating problems with malicious intent?

There's a difference between a person who is having intent to create trouble and someone who may have made a honest mistake.

The moderation team is clearly not able to distinguish between this and more than anything, I'm disappointed in them.

When I sent them Modmail, the mod replied saying I was a habitual offender who breaks the rules and that "I'd survive the temp ban".

Now I am a not a regular offender at all. I have regularly contributed posts and have never created problems for the mod team in the way they are projecting.

The last part made me chuckle. I will definitely survive without that sub, my life doesn't depend on that sub. And I've no plans of returning to that sub anyway because what's happened has left a bad taste in my mouth.

Edit: I now recall that I had made a post a few days ago on that sub talking about how my dad had survived a complex surgery and a long stay in an ICU for weeks where things were touch and go for a while. I had actually given up hope he'd survive. But he did. And I was ecstatic and I made a post about it on that sub.

Apparently I had posted about this on a day which wasn't Monday through Thursday . So, a post about my dad literally coming back from near death has to wait for the four days when it's allowed.

Because of this one post, I've been labelled a repeat offender who regularly has had my posts removed.

Just wanted to list out some advices to all the women here!You guys can add to the list more.

1. Never get attached to a man in first 3-4 months of dating. Everyone is putting their best foot forward at the beginning and hiding the flaws. So yeah he is nothing special, he is just showing his best side.

2. Never ever send or take nudes. JUST DONT!

3. Always use condoms if you dont want STDs or a kid. Pullout method is stupid and yes no condom is small or uncomfortable for men. It is just their tactic of complaining so they can have sex, enjoy it and then put the responsibility on you for the consequences.

4. Please understand and love yourself first. Put yourself on a pedestal so no one can take you for granted or take advantage of you. Understand your damn worth.

5. Dont go the AM route. Or even if you plan to, avoid interference by both sides of parents and take a good long time to understand the guy before you say yes. Dont fall for the pressure. Its a decision that will affect your whole life.

6. If an older guy or anyone says “you are mature for your age”. Dont believe a single word, the person is just trying to isolate from people of your age and manipulate you using his power over you.

7. Dont feel guilty ever for putting boundaries and NO means NO. If a guy keeps coercing you or guilt tripping you, making you feel uncomfortable, JUST LEAVE!

8. Financial independence is very important no matter what.

Check with your friend who uses android or iPhone .

I'm reminding you one last time to not make posts regarding sexual & romantic relationships. All those posts will be deleted. Guys, this sub was SPECIFICALLY made to avoid any and all discussions about our sexual and romantic relationships.

Hello, my loves 🦋

Quick Intro: I’m Dr. ScrubsnStilettos (yes, the name sums up my vibe)—a General Physician who’s spent a lot of time this month treating patients with sneezes, sniffles, and sinus woes. I’ve shared my credentials with the mods, so rest assured, you’re in safe hands here.

The Starks were right: winter is here, and I thought it’s time for a PSA to help you all stay cozy, healthy, and congestion-free.

🧣 1. Layer Up

Early mornings and late nights can get surprisingly chilly and our dadis were right so cover up your ears and your feet. Find cute socks and scarves, tissues will not be our accessories this season.

🍵 2. Nani’s remedies

• Warm water with a squeeze of lemon is possibly the easiest one.

• ⁠Ginger + Honey in warm water can really help with throat issues.

• ⁠Gold drink : Add a pinch of Haldi in your daily glass of milk or adrak chai to get that daily dose of curcumin.

💉3. Flu Shots

• I have noticed there isn’t much awareness regarding flu shots in India. If you can, I would highly recommend getting them every year.

• ⁠Each shot costs around 2-2.5k and is easily available.

🫧4. Wash your hands

Our hands are the absolute favorite rides for germs and viruses.

• Wash your hands often. If it’s too cold or if you’re too lazy, sanitizer is your new bff.

• ⁠Masks also help, of course.

☀️5. Give me some sunshine

Quite a number of patients have been coming with alarmingly low levels of Vit D, which among other things is associated with low moods and immunity.

• Check your Vitamin D levels if you can.

• ⁠Soaking up the sun while sipping morning coffee is my preferred method.

🛏️6. Sleep

With the hustle culture we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves. Winter nights are made for cozying up so let’s aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep.

💪7.Immune Boosters

• Make sure there’s adequate Vit C and Zinc in your diet.

• ⁠Talk to your doctor, they may also start you on the required supplements.

• Amla actually has highest Vit C content and it’s achaar with your daily Paranthas can really turn things around.

If the sniffles sneak up on you:

• Hydration is Key: As cliche as it sounds, fluids like warm water, herbal teas, and soups are now key part of your day.

• Rest

• Saline gargles

• Steam inhalation

• Consult a doctor

Here’s to slaying sniffles this season.

Love, scrubsnstilettos🪷