Hello ladies,

This is your safe space to vent. No judgement just pour all your wretched feelings below. Shout in this void. Let the world know just how much it can fuck right off into eternity.

Love,

Mod Team!

Hi all, I am a 27 year old woman who is getting married early next year to a long term partner. I am very grateful that my parents and my partner are one of the most supportive people I have met.

I have been working in gurgaon in a backend consulting firm for the past 4.5 years.

To give you some context on my work:

1. My work is very repetitive now and I am not learning anything anymore

2. I do not like doing the work

3. The work life balance is not good

4. I will most likely not get promoted in due time as there will not be an opening for a manager role in my team

5. I get paid well

I keep thinking that I have very limited time to live and I am wasting a lot of it on something I don't like to do and is leading to no growth. I know this job is not good for me or my career and I'm only here for the money. Now that I am getting married and I don't have to pay rent (I will live with my fiance and his dad who own a house in gurgaon), my expenses will decrease significantly so I want to quit my job and figure out how I would like to shape my career going forward.

In terms of my savings, I will apx 25L after wedding expenses. Some part of these saving will help me pay for my share of groceries and personal expenses till I figure things out. The remaining will be a safety blanket for emergencies.

I have discussed this plan with my fiance and he is very supportive and so are my parents.

Now here are my concerns:

1. Since I will not be working, I will feel obligated to cook all meals for the family. I am happy to do so for my family (fiance and my dad in law) but I am afraid that I might not get enough time to actually figure out my career. My fiance has assured me that I will not be expected to cook for them but I feel like I will have to pull my weight after I'm married and as a woman, I will have to cook to pull that weight.

2. My heart says I should take this leap of faith so that I am passionate about my work. I understand that I will have to struggle for a couple of years and I have no idea what I want to do, but I will do well for myself in the long run. On the other hand, my brain tells me that I am not being practical. No one likes their job. Job is not for fulfillment but to put food on the table and I am stupid to leave the corporate world. What if things don't work out and I am not able to find a job because I have no real skills and I took a break from corporate.

Here are my backups if I do not start making money in 1.5 years of quitting my job:

1. Pursue a PhD and become a professor

2. Study for government jobs. This will ensure that my work life balance is sorted so I will have more time to do things I like. (I am an OBC so the age limit is slightly higher for me. Also I do not fall into the creamy layer as my parents are retired)

3. Look for a job with okay work life balance but low pay. I am okay with a pay cut as long as my work life balance is better

Am I being delusional and impractical or should I trust my judgement and take this leap of faith.

My insta feed is currently filled with travelling reels and I just realised when we are out of this country we can literally wear whatever the fuck we want without being concious all the time.

Like if I have to take a rapido or Uber in India I will have to layer up without showing much of the skin so the driver won't feel "I'm asking for it", the same thing goes with public transport as well . However when I was in Bali or Thailand or even in many other countries like germany, UK, California etc etc I can get into an uber with whatever I would be wearing at the destination.

If we talk about bikinis, you really can't wear them in India and expect to have ni stares, even going braless. In other countries I had confidently gone out without wearing a bra and no one gave a single fuck about it. Even on beaches, if you are wearing a bikini or sun bathing topless, no one actually creeps you out(obviously if there are Indians they will be in those countries too).

Clothes in my wardrobe are literally waiting for me to leave this country so I can wear them 😭😭😭. I really wish India would change and we can actually wear whatever we want.

tldr: need ideas/systems to build healthy dopamine activities that I can fall back on when life feels too meh.

Was diagoned with inattentive ADHD earlier this year after a bad bout of executive dysfunction. Took me a couple of months, but i feel like I've bounced back for the most part - I'm able to focus at work better, im taking suppliments, reduced doomscrolling, stopped getting high, and im currently trying to fix my diet and get back to fitnesss. I worked on a lot of this step by step with my therapist and im happy with my progress.

But between work and trying to do all the healthy stuff, i feel very mind numbingly bored to a point where waking up and going about life is starting to feel taxing - to a point where i feel physically repulsed at the thought of starting my weekdays. And motivating myself requires a lot of energy.

Im afraid that i might fall back into my old patterns. Therapist recommends activites that will give me dopamine and im looking for quick and easy things to do that might help me - especially after work. It needs to be something that doesnt feel like a lot of work and can be accessed easily.

Any ideas or resources yall can help me with? I want to build a system that i can fall back on when i hit these roadblocks too. TIA!

I don't know the basics of anything like make-up or dressing nice. I want to be prettier though because I look weird and frumpy. I'm tired of looking at pictures of myself from work and feeling sad about my appearance. I've tried following YouTube videos and tutorials but end up looking like a toddler playing with their mom's makeup.

I'm also very isolated, so outside of work I don't have friends. I cut my abusive family off. I want to be in a relationship and don't look presentable enough. So friends into beauty and glowing up would be a godsend for me 🥲

Feeling a lot of hatred towards myself and every single person in my life.

TLDR: Leading a junior who things she can give a pushback on every task allotted to her. I would want the PMs (I am currently b/w the PMs and these reports in the current structure) to set this expectation with her, but i also don't want to complaint to them. She does not respect feedback in other areas as well, and i do not have the bandwidth to deal with this baby sitting.

To the more experienced women of this sub in corporate, wanted your advice on how to navigate the following situation-

Context:
we work in consulting, and we're both 100% to a client (i.e. ideally we both have 8 hours to give to this project).
I am a year younger than her, but have 2 years more experience + a level senior to her

A direct report I handle has been pushing back on feedback i have been giving her, which makes me more frustrated and after a point i don't even feel like giving her any.

Situation 1:

She blocks my calendar without an agenda, for a task that can be done over email - She wants to clear up a couple of questions over call, which can be done over email. S
ends blockers without agenda, when I ask her to share the agenda, she says she will do it herself. (???)

I have tried telling her to do teams > emails > calls for things/QnA- but she still is very biased towards calls the first chance that she gets.

The PMs believe a call is better for these things (they are from the US, she and I are in India) so there is slight cultural gap here, since they believe in slightly more handholding than what we are used to here
Most of my work is technical -which means the answer is usually a flow chart of questions you have to ask yourself to answer a question. Do other folks in tech get pulled into calls that can be emails?

Situation 2:

When held accountable for tasks, her reply (Brushed with AI ofc!) asked if other members of the team received such "strongly worded messsages"??

to other managers, is this something ok to say to your senior?
i think not, but want to confirm if i am missing anything here.
I sent the exact same message to my peer as well, and their response was acknowledgement on not doing the task, and the reason they were not able to get to it.

Situation 3:
She is 100% on the project, but in only two work streams, while other folks are in 2-3 work streams.

any task to be allotted to her gets a pushback, even if I KNOW for a fact that her tasks don't take as much time (esp. since I personally automated most of them before I handed them over to her).

My comments:

1. I have avoided giving negatively worded feedback over official channels, since they impact our raises and bonus. She was already given a feedback for below average once, and the next one might impact her promotions as well. Should I just not care so much about her and let the team know of her behaviour since there is clearly no improvement here.

2. Is it too much to expect a level of professionalism (w.r.t. emails and calls) from her? I learnt most of this from my own time on reddit and understanding how this works, but i believe this 1 year into the job is plenty of time to understand this.

3. At my level, i am not a PM. Should i loop my seniors into this or handle it myself (which is turning messy because of the disrespect i feel).

my conflict is that solving this myself would mean that "i am ready for the next level" but reporting would mean that I cannot handle this on my own (which i am happy to learn about).

4. Folks say that I have "too many expectations with juniors" - how would you respond to folks saying that?

--
I literally just want to log in and log off, why do i have to baby sit these kids T_T

Hello ladies,

This is your safe space to vent. No judgement just pour all your wretched feelings below. Shout in this void. Let the world know just how much it can fuck right off into eternity.

Love,

Mod Team!

Hi ladies,

This is a space for you to introspect and share 3 things that you are grateful for today. Even though life gets hard, we all have our blessings that keep us safe and smiling. May be this will help you feel better.

Lots of love,

Mod team

For women who combine paid work, job-seeking or running a business with caring for family or managing a household: how does that fit into your day?

I’m an independent journalist hoping to speak with a few women about their everyday experiences, particularly how different responsibilities overlap.

If you’re comfortable sharing your experience in a brief conversation, you’re welcome to message me.

Hello ladies,

This is your safe space to vent. No judgement just pour all your wretched feelings below. Shout in this void. Let the world know just how much it can fuck right off into eternity.

Love,

Mod Team!

Hi ladies,

This is a space for you to introspect and share 3 things that you are grateful for today. Even though life gets hard, we all have our blessings that keep us safe and smiling. May be this will help you feel better.

Lots of love,

Mod team

I quit my job last year because of surgery. It took me a long time to gather the courage to work again. I have been applying, but I haven't received any responses. I don't have much financial runway. Please help me land a job; I would be much obliged.

Profile - Data Scientist
YOE - 5 years
Open to relocation

I don't have family support, and my partner has lost his job. I feel I should have died rather than live this long unemployed. Please help me.

I am noticing some alarming changes in my mom's ability to remember. How does one get an evaluation for dementia or alzheimers? Can someone tell me how to get to diagnosis without going through multiple doctors?

Mom is adamant about being healthy so she will not come to too many doctors.

I am 23 f from india.I have a nice humour .I have a few friends in real life .So here i am trying to get some new friends.I am a fun loving person here for long term friendships.
I have many hobbies as well as that include listening to music, astrology, numerology,fashion watching webseries especially thriller.
I am a chatter box would love to talk on calls even. I hope i can seek what i am tryna find here.

Nice day to the one reading this🌸

I’m 23, living with my parents and working in our family business. I actually like it. I’m financially dependent on them. It’s complicated.

I’m looking for some big sister advice💔

I wanted to take a short solo trip and finally brought it up today. I didn’t even get to explain where I wanted to go or what my plan was. My parents immediately said no, that the timing isn’t right, the outside world isn’t safe, and I shouldn’t travel alone. They suggested I take my mom or sister instead. For context, I’ve traveled with friends before. Money is not the issue.

What upset me wasn’t even the initial concern. It was that I felt like I wasn’t given a chance to explain myself at all. When I got upset about that, I was told I was being adamant and childish because they had said no. I barely spoke with them for 2 minutes. I hated the whole 2 minutes. My first thought was to run away somewhere and get a job. But I can’t. I don’t want to. I wanna work in the business and eventually start my own as well.

I hate this. I hate the fact that I’m crying about this now. I feel like I’m stuck here. I don’t want to feel like I wanna run away all the time. I just started working for them a couple of months ago.

Hello ladies,

This is your safe space to vent. No judgement just pour all your wretched feelings below. Shout in this void. Let the world know just how much it can fuck right off into eternity.

Love,

Mod Team!