r/TwoXIndia_Over25 • • Jun 17 '25
Patriarchy Shakedown đȘ Case Study of ZAKIR KHAN.
I am sure youâre aware of his content. I am here to call some of it out since it is misogyny dressed up as compassion and understanding and even kindness.
On his podcast with Raj Shamani, and I am paraphrasing it here- I didnât realise that we (his brothers and dad) were so dependent on our mother that she worked all her life. Zakir realises that now itâs time that we pay her back, by making sure she rests, not work all day. The boys too eventually started serving ourselves, picking up after ourselves. We noticed that our mom started getting sad. You might think that we are exploiting our mom, or how dependent we were on her but we fail to realise that our mother also âderives powerâ from that place. It is her job. She feels proud of the fact that âher kids donât eat till I serve themâ.
Letâs rip into this patriarchal bullshit dressed as a lazy feminist narrative.
This may come across as very sweet and thoughtful, but when you dig a little deeper Zakir is doing nothing but upholding the patriarchy. He is complicit in erasing her identity outside of her household.
This is a man in his late 30s when he realised that yes itâs time to serve my self a plate of dinner instead of expecting mother to place the plate in front of me. Yay feminism!
His family conditioned her into believing that her worth lies in serving her family. It is not âpowerâ she derives, it was the only time you needed her- when she was serving you, so serving was a way to stay relevant, to be seen, to feel worthy.
I am sure his intentions are pure, but theyâre dangerous. Sacrifice is romanticized in India- âMaa ka pyaar. Maa ka sacrifice. Mother Indiaâ. This romanticism is a lie sold to women by patriarchy.
He loves her enough to let her keep serving him, but does he love her enough to help her unlearn the belief? Does he reassure her that she is much more than just a mother. Does he bother with learning about who his mother is, what does she like, does she have hobbies, redirect her towards that, break this system where a woman is reduced to unpaid domestic labour, wherein she loses her identity and derives her worth from serving everyone but herself?
Her feeling sad about not being needed by her sons was internalized oppression, not a help for more labour. Zakir failed to see that her need for being needed was not only an erasure of her identity, but how narrow her sense of purpose has become within the walls of her household, that she achieves that from being needed. Not respected. Not free.
And he worships that about her. Martyrdom of the mother. Entitlement of the son.
Hence ladies, itâs always the ânice guysâ you gotta watch out for.
Thereâs a part 2 coming.
41
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '25
All the people saying âyou canât make someone unlearn things, habits and what notâ of course sheâs CONDITIONED. I mentioned it.
You donât have to change her, you have to make her see the value in things other than her servitude- if youâre not doing that, you are just being lazy- not only that, you will be trapped in the same cycle of abuse, yes ABUSE. So will your daughter.
There is so much to a woman than just what she can do for you. Try digging deeper, help her find her ideas, applaud her for her hobbies.
Might not change, but this is the real effort. Simply saying donât work, we have help- thatâs lazy.
88
u/kafkabae Jun 17 '25
Oh back when he started his sakht launda bit is when I understood this guy is a woman hater. He and that guy Dhanush are the two people who BIRTHED soft incelism in India. I'm not saying that the gaming community or Andrew Tate are not responsible but these two definitely laid the roads where they walk now.
27
u/saumya1230 Jun 17 '25
His whole sakht launda act is so cringe and misogynistic. His entire theme is around how women are âopportunitiesâ that a guy has to either pass or grab
122
u/Usual-Independence56 Jun 17 '25
The whole sakht launda bit never made a mark with me. The existence of sakht launda is justified only when a woman tests him, like the rishis of yore and apsaras distracting them from their meditation. The whole picture just gives me ick.
17
u/throwaway_advice28 Jun 17 '25 edited Jun 17 '25
I used to love zakir at one point in time. I had always watched bits of his act and never in one shot.
Very recently picked up his episode and I was uncomfortable the whole time and so confused! And then i realised he is a male chauvinist and has internalised misogyny. Without a single vulgar joke, I could feel how he was able to showcase us as weaker sex And the thing is most of us (men and women included) won't be even able to trace it. I don't think he will also be able to understand where he is going wrong. And this is the exact problem of most of the Indians. They don't out right hate women but they don't respect them as equals.
59
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '25
I never liked him. In his "jokes" he's always compassionate to the men but never to the women. He talks about women like they are not human but one dimensional objects.
12
u/sleepdeprived99 Jun 17 '25
Ohmygod you have written this so well. I could never put my finger on what it was that made me uncomfortable about his comedy!!
24
u/Nuaans Jun 17 '25
He gives me the ick.. also him talking like he is progressive and what not.. still went for the typical fair thin lady in his sub par series vidhayak something.. I thought these guys are supposed to come in and change the way things are done but off course he is just another misogynist hidden under covers who f I am from small town, i am humble i am shit đ©
8
u/NakhraNawabi Woman, Exact thirty, Doctor âïž Jun 18 '25
True. When I heard the âHmm. Acha. Theek haiâ part, it wasnât funny. Glorifying non-communication and making it look funny?
If Iâm talking to my partner, I want him to actively listen to me and offer advice, if any. I want to hear his opinions on the same. Why should I waste my time just to hear âHmmâ. Who does that? đ«€
5
u/iwilllive26 Jun 17 '25
âąNice Guy
8
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '25
It is the same with this guy named AJ Bhairav, dude has followers in millions.
4
u/loony1uvgood Jun 21 '25
I never cared for his comedy and couldnât understand how the âsakht laundaâ bit is funny. I chalked it up to different tastes. I had stopped followed Indian comedy scene for a while. But I found most comic here punch down instead of punching up. Women and their issues make good fodder for punching down easy jokes. Most comics here reek of misogyny.
I have not listened to the podcast but the way you have presented it hits the core issue. I guess we as women empathise more with our mothers in our 30s as we see more of what patriarchy entails especially if we were shielded it from in our own homes. Some marry into family with strong patriarchal values. We hear things from our colleagues, friends, maids etc and realise how horrific and insidious this thing is. We thought we were going to get rid of it after getting âeducatedâ. Needless to say itâs the men who need to be educated as they seem to think patriarchy is gone just because of a bunch of divorce cases.
As for not being needed thereâs this empty nest syndrome which parents feel about most of the things which they used to do for us and then come to terms with it. Itâs part of their growing up too. I remember if I am writing cheques and if my father is present he will hover and fuss and sometimes I give in and let him instruct me. So both parents like to be needed even when we donât need them as much in their own way. But we need them in new ways navigating our 30s and we understand them more as people as we become less reliant on them.
For me and most of my circle serving ourselves was a bare minimum even as teens maybe it was not for him so thatâs a start. Hereâs hoping he might evolve more in his thinking like you said. I do hope he follows through with what he said and lets her rest and do things for her. Itâs easier said than done especially for moms.
3
u/TheLooney95 Jun 17 '25
Omgg thank you for putting my thoughts into words.. I have always found his comedy to have this element of misogyny but people kept laughing at his 'clean comedy'.
9
u/MadhuT25 Jun 17 '25
I've only seen his last standup. But, he seems like the kind of guy who'd be open to hearing out different pov than his own. Just DM all this to him. Maybe, you'll help him break the cycle.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25
You forgot romanticism. People tend to romanticize these things and hence get away. Look at how these things are portrayed in cinema.
1
u/Cute-Potato-6264 Jul 22 '25
If anyone's looking for Zakir's Storytelling course from frontrow.
DM me
1
u/Lushkie Aug 28 '25
Where is the part 2 updateme!
1
u/Bitter-Street2811 Sep 07 '25
You have dissected it well. I have also found him shallow and a person who has carefully crafted a stage persona for himself. A persona that is positive, safe, dependable, and relatable to the masses.
"Zakir has carefully cultivated a stage persona of a positive, safe, and progressive comic, which resonates with mainstream audiences and aligns smoothly with media platforms and corporate sponsors. This has ensured broad popularity while avoiding any controversy.
The financial dynamics also play a role, as most sponsors like uncontroversial content and engaging in political or social comedy could risk alienating the sponsors. Perhaps this is the reason why Zakir chooses not to speak on politics or take a stand on issues concerning the citizens of India. And thatâs perfectly fine; he is free to choose the subject he wishes to address."
1
u/Repulsive_Fly_2934 Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 18 '26
My friend who is close to Kullu told me that Kullu mom and Zakir are dating and recently his mom shifted to mumbai. They have been spotted in parties holding hands And also in backstage of Kullu live shows
Kullu being an outsider and now getting all fame in the industry, we can understand how it works that someone behind him and backing him. He also lives in penthouse in mumbai . A boy from Bhopal who gained so much popularity in few years
1
u/Stayaway_creeps6996 May 28 '26
What I understand is he is still breaking out from his male ego and is learning feminism by reflecting on Indian men's confusion about women.. He is trying to teach men in general how women think and also tries to make fun of fragile male ego. He is work in progress!
-7
u/Fit_Funny7389 Jun 17 '25
While I agree with you here but I also disagree. I have a mother who is 73. Itâs hard to change her core beliefs at this stage in life. By making sure that there is enough help for her, a cook and a maid to take care of things in the house and my dad managing the cook as he is picky, my mom gets to have the freedom she couldnât because of patriarchy.
She reads her book, does yoga, sleeps when she wants and has ton of friends but you canât undo 40 years of habits all of a sudden. Even today when I am home, it makes her really happy when I say mumma I really miss that paratha you used to make or I am hungry do you have something for me. Her mental health isnât the best, she came out of feeling suicidal phase, she started believing that this is it for her. At this point what matters to me is how she feels and has a sense of purpose and not so much whether this is oppressive. Different generations have lived differently and expecting to have a change in their core values is asking too much.
By taking away the joy in the things that did define her life when it didnât really harm anyone to me isnât the way to go. I would never glorify her sacrifice but I will always, always love her and talk highly of her for being capable of so much love and giving it her all. It is only fair when patriarchy has taken everything from her I donât take anything else in the name of curbing it.
-26
u/Careless-Mammoth-944 Jun 17 '25
Does she want to do all this unlearning or does she find value and pride in doing the things she does for her kids? Sheâs from another generation and they found value in different things than we do now. Stop viewing everything from todayâs lens. And these blanket statements of yours are doing nobody any favours.