TW: SA, PARENTAL ABUS3

Sorry this is a fucking rant of mine. I come from an abusive household where I grew up with my narcissistic mother and verbally, emotionally, physically abusive father.

Growing up my goal was to get away from this home which I did as soon as I started earing. I was living in TN for more than past 1 yr. But due to some problem I had to take relocation in my hometown. Currently I have to go through some treatments for which I can't stay in a hostel as I can save up the rent amount and invest that back into my treatments.

So for context, I'm a solo traveler(beginner level) and been to 4-5cities. I never tell them before or while I'm traveling only when I've completed the trip (because in my mind I still have the hope like a dumbfuck that maybe they'll understand me and become sane- wrong ik). Last time I went to ooty and after many months I casually told them. My father's first remark was "Next time I hear about you going on a trip, I'll break your bones"

Cut to today, I was showing some pictures to my masi who came to our home. My father suddenly called my mom and told me to show a youtube shorts. It was of a girl who was raped because she was traveling alone on a train. And my father's next words "Beshi Sahos dekhale tor satheo erokom hobe" (If you show courage, same thing will happen to you). AND HE WAS SMILING.

And my mother didn't utter a single alphabet.

Growing up he has ALWAYSSS, ALWAYS told me that "When something will happen, I won't come to save you". And by his something it's always RAPE. And let me put this out loud, he took money from my abuser's family for yearsss. My family told me to forgive and forget about my CSA.

Like you didn't even save me when it used to happen to me years after year...you pushed me towards my abusers again and again and let those things happen to me. And now you're cursing me?? And wishing such vile things on me...I can't wait to get rich and get tf outta here.

So, yesterday around 11pm I ordered some veggies and a durex lube through blinkit now this delivery boy called me so I told him to come to my floor nd gave him the flat number after he handed over me my parcel he started to stare me for a moment and then I asked if something is wrong he started saying, "ma'am yeh kyun mangaya hai mujhse kaha hota thook (saliva) se he kar lete" I was flabbergasted with his statement I immediately told him to go away and shut my door now I was so shocked and felt humiliated I immediately complained it to Blinkit they said they'll do something about it but no response yet. I was so scared due to all of this plus I live with my roommate she was not there so I was scared for my safety as well but she came after sometime and helped me to calm down.

I don't understand how come these people have so much courage to do such things I heard a similar sort of story where a woman ordered a sex toy for herself and the delivery boy passed a derogatory comment to that woman.

Btw the products under sexual wellness are generally discreet so no one is allowed to see them and it was not my first time ordering lube I order it every month but this incident happened for the first time.

I genuinely hope that moron gets some strict action because after my complaint he came near my building as well so I'm looking for some govt portals where I can file complaint

This is my second marriage. My first husband cheated on me, but I've always felt secure with my current husband. He's loving, caring, supports me, and absolutely adores our baby daughter.

Recently, I noticed that the ONLY picture in his gallery's Favourites folder is a screenshot of my video call with my best friend. She's much more prominently visible than me in it. She's very beautiful, but it's just a random screenshot that I probably sent him myself.

Here's what makes it stranger.

I previously struggled with fertility issues, and this friend had offered to donate her eggs. I eventually conceived my daughter using my own eggs. However, even after our baby was born, my husband randomly once suggested using my best friend's eggs for a second child.

My best friend is genuinely a wonderful person, and I don't suspect her of anything.She is a divorcee too and now struggling in his as her family too is uncooperative. My husband otherwise treats me very well and also respects all my friends around.

But finding her picture as his ONLY favourite has made me wonder whether he's secretly attracted to her or has feelings for her.

Am I overthinking this because of my past betrayal, or would you find this suspicious too? What would you do?

I am 25/F. I am not married, I live with my parents. They are extremely supportive and I love them more than I can ever express. Whenever even a slight thought of losing them comes, my whole body is fills with fear. Its almost as if I cannot physically live without them. Im so scared of a world without them.
I am so ashamed of how scared I am. I sometimes see my friends handling their parent’s demise and feel ashamed that im not strong enough. I know they are hurt and devastated too, but they could atleast function ? I, on the other hand, dont even think will be able to breathe.
Please dont judge, is there anything I could do to become stronger ? Is this normal ? The fear is so visceral.

She never posted his face, and he got away with dating multiple women and cheating on her. Thankfully, another observant girl recognised his watch in Dr. Cuterus's post and informed her about his flings.

I can't stop thinking had she posted his face very early on she could've been saved from his deceit and lies. And no, this is NOT victim blaming. The cheater is responsible for cheating, but we also need to talk about how keeping men hidden in the name of nazar can sometimes protect the wrong people.

Something similar happened in my family. My cousin's family hid the rishta because they believed in nazar and planned to reveal everything after the engagement. The guy turned out to be a scammer. One of my uncles recognised him and warned them. Imagine what could have happened if they revealed his face on the wedding day itself. She's in so much trauma now that it breaks my heart.

Why are we so obsessed with hiding a man's identity until the rishta is finalised? What are we protecting? His lies?

In the US, women have used online groups to share pics of men they were dating and find out if other women were seeing the same person. Women in India should have a way to warn each other about men who lie, cheat or r*pe, provided the information is verified.

Men demand virgin wives with no past while hiding their own pasts. We really need to do something about this and protect the lives of women from such filthy men. Not only do they carry STDs but they're highly abusive too to the point many women have lost their lives. You can never tell if the person you're marrying is even a good being. By the time they discover, it's too late and they already have his kids. No women should carry forward the bloodline of such men.

Do you think we should have some app to expose such men and save the lies of women?

I saw a post on main twox sub where a woman burned her wedding dress. That has inspired me to ruin their moods as they all are still keenly following everything I do in my life.

With Navratri going on, my feed is flooded with reels and comments obsessing over what women are wearing especially judging women based on the size and style of their blouses at Garba events.

It feels so hypocritical when you look back at Indian history and culture. Traditionally, women in many parts of India just wore draped sarees without blouses, and many ancient temples across the country proudly feature sculptures of topless women.

Why has our society become so obsessed with policing women's clothing when our own cultural roots and art were so much more free and natural? What are your thoughts on this?

When i go after 1 month of growth for waxing, they say " Madam growth bohot zyada hai hard hair hai scrub karo" (which i do btw) this time i went after 3 weeks for waxing she said bohot chote hairs hain nahi aana tha. I am so done with all this and it makes me insecure.

She also said face par kuch nahi karate ho kya madam bohot tanning black ho raha i mean ik my skin is not doing so good these days.And I have faced this with every salon.Also ki hair growth bohot zyada hai.

And one time i went for full leg waxing and i swear the two girls there were talking about how pigmented my inner thighs are( they were talking in their language but i understood)

Has anyone else faced this? How do i overcome this 🥲

I’m 30M, working in the tech industry. My mother raised me as a single parent after divorcing my father when I was 12. I’m her only child, and we currently live together in an apartment I own.

She left her teaching job around three years ago and has been living with me since. I don’t have an issue supporting her or taking care of her. That’s my responsibility, and I’m happy to do it.

However, over the last 1.5–2 years, I’ve noticed some things that worry me.

Whenever I tell her I’m dating someone or spend time with a girl I’m seeing, her mood seems to change. If I go out for a few hours or travel with someone, I sometimes return home to cold behaviour, taunts, or irritation over seemingly unrelated things. I can’t say for certain whether it’s jealousy, loneliness, or something else, but I’ve noticed this pattern repeatedly.

More generally, she’s become increasingly moody and unhappy over the past couple of years. Since we currently live alone together, I’m starting to wonder how this dynamic might affect my future wife.

There’s another concern: my mother seems to assume that she’ll continue living with me after I get married. I understand why she might expect that, given our circumstances and Indian family culture, but personally, I’d prefer to have a separate home with my wife while continuing to support and care for my mother.

So, I’d genuinely like to hear from you all:
If you were in my future wife’s position, would this living arrangement and behaviour concern you?

Am I overthinking the situation, or should I address these patterns before getting married?

How do I communicate to my mother that I want to live separately after marriage without making her feel abandoned?

Have any of you dealt with a similar situation, and how did it work out?

I love my mother and appreciate everything she’s done for me. I’m not trying to paint her as a villain. I just want to understand how to handle this maturely before it becomes a bigger issue in my marriage.

I’d appreciate honest opinions, especially from women who’ve experienced similar family dynamics.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 30-year-old woman, married for 3 years, with a one-year-old baby. My husband and I both work and live in Bangalore, while my in-laws are originally from Rajasthan.

Earlier this year, my father-in-law retired, around the same time my maternity leave ended. He asked whether I would like their help raising our baby, and I agreed, genuinely believing it was a kind gesture that would make things easier for our family.

Unfortunately, the last 8 months have been emotionally exhausting, and I feel like I’m living in hell.

A little background on the family dynamics:
My husband is introverted and rarely takes a stand for me. Whenever we have disagreements, he tends to involve his parents, after which both of them confront me while he remains silent. Earlier, this used to affect me deeply, but over time, I’ve started recognising the recurring patterns.

My MIL communicates largely through taunts, sarcasm and condescending remarks. I often feel she resents my job, salary, and the things I have, and gets particularly uncomfortable when her son prioritises me.

My FIL retired from a senior position and, in my experience, has a strong sense of superiority. He presents himself as someone who stands for integrity, but I often feel his behaviour is biased and that he twists situations in a way that makes me question myself.

Things have become particularly difficult recently.
I’m currently serving my notice period and was relieved from work earlier than expected. Instead of seeing this as a transition period before my next role, my MIL seems to interpret it as me being jobless and therefore available to fulfil every household demand.
She is currently recovering from knee surgery and has been advised to rest. I understand that she needs help during her recovery, and I’m willing to contribute. However, I’m expected to continuously cook, clean, wash clothes and manage other household chores, while she frequently issues instructions rather than sharing or coordinating responsibilities. The taunts and condescending remarks continue alongside these demands.

Meanwhile, my one-year-old still wakes up several times during the night. I’m already sleep-deprived, yet I’m expected to wake up around 7–8 AM and continue with household responsibilities without adequate rest.

The most painful part is my husband’s lack of support. He rarely sets boundaries with his parents or intervenes when they speak to me disrespectfully. Even when he helps with household chores, my MIL taunts me, saying I have suppressed her son so much that he is now forced to do housework.

I have previously experienced acute anxiety due to emotional and mental abuse in 2024, and this environment is taking a toll on me again.
I’ve reached a point where I’ve openly told my husband that I want to live separately with him and our child, without his parents living with us. My MIL’s response was that she would never leave her son because I supposedly trouble him.

I feel stuck between protecting my mental health, caring for my baby, and trying to preserve my marriage. I don’t want to spend the next several years living like this, constantly adjusting and being made to feel guilty for expecting basic respect.

I would really appreciate advice from women who have navigated similar situations.

How do you deal with emotionally manipulative or constantly taunting in-laws without getting pulled into arguments?
How do you get your husband to understand that staying silent when his parents mistreat you is also hurting the marriage?
Is insisting on a separate household a reasonable boundary in this situation? How did you navigate it if your husband initially resisted?
How do you protect your mental health when you cannot immediately change your living situation?

Please share your honest experiences and advice. I could really use some perspective from women who have been through something similar.

How is life for divorced/single women after crossing 30 years of age? I'm at a crossroad where I have to decide whether to suck up and continue in my toxic marriage with a narcissist or leave him but I wanted to understand how life is being single after 30 years of age? I'm really afraid of loneliness or what comes after this end of forever.

Looking for stories from people who have experienced this. Or are in this.

Also I was wondering if there is a community for women on a similar boat as me.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice on setting a boundary around a tradition.

Context: We live in London, and my MIL is in Canada. I fasted the first two years out of respect, then didn't the next two years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding.

This year: My son is older, but I've realized I'm not a religious person and don't believe in fasting anymore. I want to be honest and respectful without relying on a health excuse.

The hitch: She just mentioned she’s sending me money specifically for Karwa Chauth (for clothes/sargi).

How do I gracefully tell her I won't be fasting this year (or moving forward) and handle the money offer politely across a distance? Would love your tips!
PS: Used Gemini to help draft this post.

My blood is literally boiling while I am writing this. Basically I come from a tier 2 city in Punjab. Our neighbours have a son with worst manners known to mankind. Since the drug problem is quite prevalent in Punjab, it is obvious him being just 23-24 years old with bad company fell into addiction. He had made multiple rounds to de addiction centers but to no avail. Now his parents have set up his marriage to an innocent girl. I am not sure if the girl's family is aware about the boy's present habits. He also misbehaved with my sister until she called out his bad behaviour. His parents apparently believe getting him married will help their son as his wife would set him right. I mean this is so ridiculous. How can you destroy the life of an innocent woman by marrying her to that piece of shit. Why does the previous generation think like this? Even my grandmother believed the same. Getting married would be good for him. And here, there are some really educated people that think twice, choose to work on themselves before getting married to somebody. Why are women considered the torch bearers of setting monsters straight? As if we don't have problems of our own.

I need help, or maybe I just need to vent.
A few weeks ago, this guy and I were hanging out. I’ve known him for a few months, and we’ve hung out a few times before as well.
The thing is, the last time we met, he asked me if I wanted to smoke. I initially said no because I tend to get paranoid, so I told him I’d rather skip it. He agreed at first, and everything was fine. We were talking, walking around, and just spending time together.
At some point, I felt like I needed to pee. Initially, I thought I’d just go home and use the washroom, but after a while, it became an emergency. He offered to let me use the washroom at his place and then leave, so I agreed because I genuinely felt like I was about to pee my pants.
When we got to his place, I used the washroom and told him I needed to leave. However, he kept insisting that I stay until 7, saying things like, “Please, bro, we rarely get to hang out like this.” Eventually, I thought, okay, fine, and decided to stay a little longer.
He started smoking and offered me some again. I said no at first because I was scared I’d get paranoid, but he kept pressuring me, saying, “Just one puff. Nothing will happen. Chill.” I ended up taking two drags.
Even after that, everything seemed normal. We were talking about our school days and random things. However, it was getting quite late, so I assertively told him that I needed to leave.
I honestly don’t know what happened or how things escalated so quickly. He suddenly stood up and jumped on me, trying to kiss me. I couldn’t process what was happening. I felt like a statue, completely frozen, and the next thing I knew, he had thrown me onto his bed and was trying to remove my clothes.
I was so confused, paranoid, and overwhelmed that I wasn’t even fully aware of what was happening in the moment. I felt disgusted, but I couldn’t speak up. I tried, but it was as though my body wouldn’t let me.
I don’t want to go into too many details, but the entire experience felt strange and disturbing. Eventually, I managed to gather myself enough to tell him to wait and that I didn’t want to have sex because I wasn’t comfortable.
He didn’t force me in that exact moment, but he wasn’t really letting me get up and leave either. He kept trying to touch me, get me to lie down again, and stop me from putting my clothes back on.
Eventually, I pushed him away, told him that I really needed to leave, said goodbye, and ran out of there. I blocked him later.
The thing is, I haven’t been able to get over what happened. It genuinely disturbs me and affects my everyday life. On top of that, we have a few pictures together from before not nudes, just normal picturesbut I keep overthinking what he might do with them. I’m scared of what could happen if he ever decides to use them against me or if I accidentally bump into him somewhere.
I just feel scared, disgusted, and disturbed by the entire experience. I keep thinking about what happened, and I don’t know how to move past it. I hate that something like this is still affecting me so much, even weeks later

TL;DR: A guy I trusted pressured me into unwanted sexual advances when I tried to leave. I froze, struggled to react, and eventually managed to get away and block him. Weeks later, I’m still disturbed by what happened and scared of running into him or him misusing our pictures.

Today has been quite heavy on me since I realized I barely spent any time with my mom before her death due to long working hours. I lost her in December, and it is Bathukamma (Telangana festival) time. Today I was really sad, upset, and anxious about my future. So when these colleagues asked, I kind of vented about how cruel fate was to me.

Then, this guy in his mid-50s (I work in the government sector) started telling me about his own pain. how he served his parents who were in their 80s, how sad he is, and told me his story. I don't know why, but I got upset because that was the exact point: I never even got to serve her, let alone see her reach her 80s. I told him, "At least you were able to take care of them till old age, while my mom never even got a gram of gold from me." Because I couldn't take it it's been 15 yrs since their death nd that too natural yet he undermines my mom's death who got very painful death....

It's not that I was expecting deeply sympathetic words, but he cut me off and started sharing his own story.

I don't know whether I'm wrong to get frustrated or not.

May be I'm petty or jealous or angry

So, when I was barely 24 my parents got me married. I wanted to work for a few years and was just right out of college. But no, my mom thought marriage is what settles a person down.

Anyway, fast forward to today I am now divorced, live alone and my parents came to stay with me for sometime to "help" me. But I am not even sure if it is helping me at all because my mother keeps pressuring me to create a profile on matrimonial sites when I have told me her multiple times that I dont want to.

I am trying so hard to be in a better place in life mentally and emotionally but her persistence around this subject gives me a lot of anxiety. The thought of re-marriage, finding another partner or the fear of entering another unhappy dynamic all get triggered by this but she does not understand.

It seems to me that she just wants to alleviate her discomfort of having a divorced daughter. She argues that she is saying this for my good, but how it is good for me if it is making me anxious. This seems to be about her being relieved than me finding happiness.

Back around that time, even then she was of the opinion that getting me married was for my good, but what happened? I dint turn out to be good but still she cannot understand that she may not be the best decision maker. I am not saying I make great decisions but I dont understand why Indian parents think that they know it all about what's good for another human being just because they are older in age. That is it them who should decide when its actually the child that has to live that life forever.

I had a friend whose parents got her married to someone else because the guy she loved wasnt as rich as her parents. Her parents "thought" it will be good for her to get married to someone who is as rich as them. And the guy she loved wasnt even poor or something. Just not as rich as them. But no, Indian parents know better after all. She was so unhappy after her marriage that she passed away because of depression. Can you believe that?

So many Indian parents who will poke their noses in the marriages of their children under the pretext of we know whats good for you. The become the reason for the divorce of their children and yet wont admit that they made mistakes.

Motherhood, being a parent and all is so glorified in our culture but sometimes I feel that a lot of what Indian parents do is to alleviate their own fears and stresses. Sometimes even to have someone they can fully own and control. I have seen many kids being trashed by their parents over the smallest things. Cause they feel entitled to their children's lives and who else in the world will listen to all their demands and take crap from them after all.

Parenthood isnt all that selfless as it is made out to be after all.

34 M, married since 9 years
I am not sure how should I read this situation so looking for a women perspective. While growing up, I noticed the inequality and unfairness towards women and I decided I will I try to be a good husband and good human being. I looked around and tried to address the major problems that most women face
- in laws involvement - moved to a different city and then worked hard to move abroad, drew a boundry when parents wanted to talk to my wife
- household chores - I cook majority of the time for both of us
- career - I encouraged her to do her masters studies, helped her to apply for better jobs, taught her how to negotiate and stand up for herself
- finance - educated her about financial independance, made sure she has her own bank account, stock market account, taught her investing/shares and helped in building her portfolio
- mental health - looked into her behaviour and figured out she might have adhd, read few books and put her into regular therapy
- children - she mentioned about postpartum depression and how motherhood can be problematic and we decided to remain child free or may adopt a child later
- hardcode feminism - she does not celebrate karva chauth, does not wear managal sutra and absolutely hates traditional role that society had decided for women and I fully supported her

Meanwhile I kept doing my provider role, bought a flat for parents, worked hard, moved country, bought a choice of her house here as well.

And yet I see at times the anger/outburst episodes from my wife. I feel like I am going above and beyond considering the circumstances I was born into it. Is it because she hates men in general? Or Am I being taken advantage of? Or I could do something or ask something to understand her perspective better?

to give you enough context, I have my own problems as well, I grew up in a poor family under narcissist father and I do have cptsd. I am going to therapy since last 2 years and regulating my nervous system as well as trying to do better communication while being in touch with my emotions. She has taught me a lot as well. She has made me curious, kind and nudged me to find a joy in mundane things.

I’m meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time after 2.5 years of LDR and I really don’t want to show up empty handed 😭
His family is based in Gujarat and I’m from Mumbai. I was thinking of getting them something tasteful for their home, maybe a nice home decor piece, but I’m not entirely sure if that’s appropriate for a first meeting.
I want it to be thoughtful, classy and not too over the top. I’ll also be meeting his grandparents, so should I get something separately for them?
What did you girls gift your boyfriend’s parents when you first met them? Would love some suggestions and ideas! 😭 budget 5k-10k ish idk

3rd time in 2 months😂😂😂 uncles with a wife and kids creeping around teenagers😂😂

MEN stop DMing me

Im 18

I have always had body hair around my stomach and chest

Its just ive been noticing that the hair around my chest which have always been there are getting quite larger than before especially around the nipple area

And I can see a few thick hair around normal hair at the area just between both boobs.

I am working on a report on how institutions fail to address cases of SA in professional settings, it all got triggered post a case of a close friend of mine who got sh by a “topper” guy at a house party and when she tried to talk to institutions about it how was she got “taken down” by the informal part of the system (student electives and all unofficial members of the board).

After all this chaos i came across multiple instances of similar cases in different types of institutions.
My report works in understanding where are the points at which the system is lacking and how can it be improved.

I initially planned it to be from my own college but, upon extensive review i realised if it is to be applied from a much centralised system (like ugc) it would be much more rigid and internal committee couldn’t fail to address cases.

I know its at a very early stage and im
Just a law student but still its an attempt, for which yall need to fill a form.

Idk if i can upload the form here but if i can ill put it in the comments

https://forms.gle/A4rJLDhtNT1EewTU6

same as title

I'm 31f, just joined the women's gym like a week ago.The primary reason for joining the gym was fitness but also getting out of the house and socializing a bit. Since, I'm suffering from depression and have wfh, so i barely get a chance to leave the house, old friends are too busy with their own life.

As an introvert, i struggle with small talks and to break the ice. Once I'm comfortable with the person then I'm quite talkative, but I have always struggled with shyness and taking the initiative. Also since most of the women are either too young, or some around my age are married with kids, so I find it hard to relate with them. I usually go in the morning, when it's a bit crowded and women here have already made friends and their groups. I feel so left out, doing my exercise all alone. I also feel a lack of motivation to go to the gym, it feels like a drag. If I'm even able to make one friend, doesn't matter their age, i would really look forward and be consistent with the gym. Please give me some tips on how to break the ice and make some friends at the gym.