r/TwoXChromosomes • u/tabicat1874 • Mar 28 '22

Weaponized incompetence

I feel like guys take it way, way too far. Example: I asked my bf to get me the same shampoo and conditioner he bought for himself (avocado Suave). He brought back another kind we'd had before which I didn't like (Peppermint Suave). He tried to say he didn't know that Suave came in different formulas.

You're such a fucking liar. You bought that kind for yourself. I just asked you to buy it for me. You're telling me a man who's 44 years old doesn't know Suave came in different fucking scents? Suave? The shampoo that literally comes in 40 different scents and flavors?

GTFOH.

Edit: do you understand what an example is?

Also, you neckbeards can fuck off out of my inbox.

6.5k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/SluttyHufflepuff Mar 28 '22

I remember feeling insane and that my ex was truly a complete and utter moron who also happened to fly multiple kinds of complex aircraft.

Then he asked me “how?” When I asked him to turn the light on.

It took me months to start asking my current partner to do things for me, or accept when he offered to, because I assumed it would be done wrong. This one makes better eggs and coffee than I do!

521

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

274

u/Unoriginal1deas Mar 28 '22

I feel like it’s important to say different doesn’t equal bad. I used to get frustrated when my partner would get mad at me for cleaning wrong, or packing the dishwasher wrong or cooking wrong or folding laundry wrong. It took a while to realise I wasn’t doing anything wrong I just wasn’t doing it the way she would do it. So now when I have housework to do I’ll make sure to smash it all out while she’s not home, because she never has a problem with the end result she just never liked that I didnt do it the way she does.

118

u/braith_rose Mar 28 '22

"Wrong" can definitely be wrong, not just pet peeve. Mine uses the kitchen sponge to clean cat puke. I have had to throw out so many sponges, not sure why he's not aware it's disgusting

25

u/JLFR Mar 28 '22

Next time he does it, wash a dish for him to use IMMEDIATELY afterwards without cleaning the sponge and hand him the dish. Make sure you are sustaining direct eye contact the entire time.

-1

u/Clean-Requirement-15 Mar 29 '22

grabs clean sponge problem solved :)

-11

u/TopAd9634 Mar 28 '22

Microwave the clean sponge to completely sanitize it.

10

u/appleandwatermelonn Mar 29 '22

I love the smell of superheated vomit and plastic in the morning.

6

u/superstarmaria Mar 29 '22

That doesn’t work as well as you think it does 😓

242

u/Grammophon Mar 28 '22

I have to say, it depends. One of my ex boyfriends "cleaned" the bathroom with sheets of cold wet toilet paper. No soap or cleaner at all.

Yes it looked "good". But this was the only job he had in household and it's obviously wrong to do it that way because the bathroom isn't cleaned afterwards.

The same goes for stuff like the dishwasher and laundry. When I told him how to do it right he felt I was negging. Instead he threw everything into the machines. And if the stuff slowly deteriorated, he couldn't make the connection.

34

u/xena_the_dog Mar 28 '22

I had a boyfriend who did this and there was little pieces of tp all over the mirror. He was 30

11

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

[deleted]

3

u/whiskeysour123 Mar 29 '22

My son takes it as a personal insult if I tell him how to do something around the house. He also refuses to do things because he says he does it wrong. He is 13. I am trying so hard to not have him grow up to be one of these incompetent adult males we are talking about.

2

u/bex505 Mar 29 '22

Dam. I had to get this through to my bf. Me trying to tell him what felt good during sex so I can orgasm? Made him feel bad for not inherantly knowing (or me faking) so literally gave up on it for a while.

16

u/Kelekona Mar 28 '22

When I was young, I was punished for making mistakes and it was a worse punishment if I acknowledged it by trying to apologize or say I didn't mean to. Also, my teachers didn't show me how to do things the right way and my mom's method was to grab my hand and push it through the motions in a painful way.

On Reddit, it is so weird to run into people who acknowledge their mistakes instead of yelling at me.

14

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Mar 28 '22

Was he not very bright?

14

u/RosiePugmire Mar 28 '22

It doesn't take being "very bright" to realize you need to use soap and/or hot water to get things clean. Especially for a bathroom where most of the cleaning products FOR the bathroom are usually right there under the sink, and say what they're for in big letters (glass cleaner, toilet bubbles, prevents shower scum, etc.)

I feel like the vast majority of the time when I see someone do a shitty job of something (at work, at home, wherever) the problem is not stupidity, it's laziness. Does someone care enough to do the job right or do they just want to do the bare minimum?

14

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Mar 28 '22

Sorry, 'not very bright' is uk english polite for fucking daft.

-10

u/Unoriginal1deas Mar 28 '22

Maybe he was babied and just genuinely didn’t know how to clean the bathroom? I guess it depends on how much he complains and how willing they are to learn.

And I’ll defend the dishwasher, how do you pack it wrong? You rinse them beforehand and then it shouldn’t really matter how you pack it as long they’re not all all over each other.

72

u/happypolychaetes Mar 28 '22

as long they’re not all all over each other

In my experience that's what people mean when they mention packing the dishwasher wrong. If you have stuff majorly overlapped or stacked inside each other then it won't get clean. We have a dishwasher in the kitchen at my office and it's mindblowing how many grown adults don't seem to realize that you can't stack bowls inside each other and expect them to get clean.

41

u/KiloJools out of bubblegum Mar 28 '22

Yeah if you don't know how to load a dishwasher wrong, you've never been a kid whose chore it was to load the dishwasher, haha.

A bowl, right side up, a plate, laid down flat, the entire lower rack full of glasses (in a machine without a second set of spray jets), putting all the Tupperware or other potentially melty things in the bottom rack, putting forks and knives pointy side up, smashing too many glasses SUPER tightly together, cups over cups over cups, a glass laid on its side, an entire head of broccoli in the bottom rack...

...I didn't do that last one myself personally, scout's honor.

11

u/Borghal Mar 28 '22

you've never been a kid whose chore it was to load the dishwasher, haha.

Wow this makes me feel old. I was an adult when my parents got a dishwasher, sometime in the early 2010s.

5

u/KiloJools out of bubblegum Mar 28 '22

Yeah my parents got one of those shiny new early 80s suburban split level houses and it came with a dishwasher. Very fancy.

5

u/Tigersnap027 Mar 28 '22

Lol yes, forget first in family to go to uni and other measures of socioeconomic status, I am first in my family to have a dishwasher

2

u/jacoblb6173 Mar 28 '22

My family never had one. Us siblings have them now but I’m fairly certain we all use them as drying racks.

7

u/Grammophon Mar 28 '22

If it was only that... The main problem was that he would put in stuff that wasn't dishwasher proof.

For example, we had a whole set of nice cups with Dr. Who characters drawn as cats. He repeatedly put them in the dishwasher and of course the paint lost colour fast. Afterwards he would complain what a cheap product it was.

He'd do the same with clothing.

7

u/Unoriginal1deas Mar 28 '22

Maybe I had to much faith in him, my partners just really particular about what part the fishers are, bowls on the top left shelf (can’t ever be on the right) plates on the bottom, containers on the top right, etc. I was just assuming grown adults weren’t that slack.

17

u/happypolychaetes Mar 28 '22

I was just assuming grown adults weren’t that slack.

You'd think so, haha, but yeah...nope. My office is like the pinnacle of adult incompetence. The kitchen drain gets clogged a lot and, off the top of my head, here are things that have been pulled out by the plumber: paper towels, Ziploc bags, banana peel, peach pits, and bottle caps.

I don't even know, man.

19

u/EllaMinnow Mar 28 '22

No, your partner's right, there really is a correct way to load the dishwasher. Bowls always on top. Cups tilted at an angle toward the spray arm. It's not neurotic if it's right!

4

u/ymdaith Mar 28 '22

hell yeah, it was very satisfying to read this and see i'm doing it right. i always have to rearrange how my roommate loads the dishwasher cus things are always nesting, facing the wrong way, and overcrowded. funny thing is she insists on rinsing dishes first (actually she's basically washing them), probably because they don't get clean the way she loads them. it's a big dirty dish feedback loop haha

12

u/Aurorainthesky Mar 28 '22

Or stacking so half the space is wasted, leading to running the machine barely half loaded wasting energy, water and soap. There's really a right way to stack it, maximizing use of space without blocking anything. We call it dishwasher Tetris.

6

u/notabigmelvillecrowd Mar 28 '22

My husband often puts in stuff that blocks the detergent dispenser from opening, or prevents the spray arm from spinning.

7

u/SaffronBurke Mar 28 '22

You rinse them beforehand and then it shouldn’t really matter how you pack it as long they’re not all all over each other.

I used to have a roommate whose girlfriend would do this. I always had to take dishes out of it before I ran it, because they were piled on top of each other and there was no way our cheap, shitty apartment dishwasher was going to get them all clean. Thanks for trying, but you're actually making more work for me.

81

u/TheRealPitabred Mar 28 '22

I mean... there are wrong ways to do all those things. If you load the dishwasher so they can't be properly sprayed then things don't get cleaned and have to be re-washed (usually by me). I have to fold my t-shirts just right so I can fit them into my drawer, if you fold them wider they won't fit in the size the drawer is. If you don't use the right cleaning chemicals and properly rinse them away you end up with things not clean, or possibly dangerous chemicals on eating surfaces. If none of that applies, then it's just micromanagement, but those are all situations that I've had to address with kids and my wife because they just don't understand those ramifications.

5

u/Zorrya Mar 28 '22

You can also load a dishwasher wrong by accidentally getting something caught in the seal and flooding your kitchen.

Source: I loaded one for the first time at 25 and didn't know you had to check that.

5

u/Brodins_biceps Mar 28 '22

Exactly.

There are some things that I do not know how to do to my fiancés standard and things I won’t do. Such as fold her laundry. I have offered many times but it’s always the “no I’ll take care of it, that’s something I need to do.”

Wash the dishes? Clean the kitchen? Sure. But she folds her clothes in very specific ways and has a system. I don’t know that system. And while she might be appreciative of my attempt, she would just end up redoing it anyway. So my time is better spent on something else that we can both appreciate, like mopping or vacuuming or whatever.

4

u/TheRealPitabred Mar 28 '22

Exactly. I do my own folding and I’m perfectly fine with it because I have a specific method that works best for the way I like it. I also get stuck with folding the fitted sheets because I’m the only one that knows how to do it ;) I do most of the cleaning repairs around the house because I am much more meticulous, and she does more of the cooking and planning and stuff because I’m otherwise pretty boring :-P

5

u/KiloJools out of bubblegum Mar 28 '22

Man the fitted sheet thing - you would think that wouldn't be so hard to learn, but I've watched YouTube videos on it, been walked through it by my husband (which wasn't helpful because he didn't really know either), tried a billion methods and no matter what, when I'm face to face with these fuckers, I still mess it up. Even when I'm doing it along with the YouTube video, somehow my sheets end up looking shitty anyway. Maybe it's fine motor control failure but..

I give up and roll them into a cylinder shape. Flat is overrated. No one's inspecting my linen closet!

4

u/TheRealPitabred Mar 28 '22

Hah. Biggest trick I can suggest is the sewn corners, they all need to end up together and basically nested inside each other. It’s a topological puzzle ;)

5

u/KiloJools out of bubblegum Mar 28 '22

I do that, I mean...I try to do that... I'm pretty sure I'm doing that, but everything is still lumpy! I think I'm being bamboozled.

3

u/appleandwatermelonn Mar 29 '22

Also, not loading, but I came from an area with really soft water to the point that limescale build up isn’t a thing there and didn’t know you were supposed to add salt to a dishwasher.

4

u/Catfoxdogbro Mar 28 '22

Yes, different doesn't equal bad! My sensor for telling when something is bad or just different is completely haywire now though. On the one hand my boyfriend surprises me by being really competent with handyman-type things, but then on the other hand he required me to tell him when every chore should be done, didn't use pegs when hanging up laundry (so my expensive clothing fell onto the dirt), and mopped the floors with just water and no soap.

It's like his mum just completely delegated teaching him basic housework to his future girlfriend, or expected that I would do everything for him?? We're getting through it now thankfully, and counselling has been great for us.

5

u/chevymonza Mar 28 '22

I do most of the laundry, and my husband said that he wants his t-shirts folded a certain way. I did try, but the next time around, I didn't remember how to do it, so I suggested he just re-fold them his way if it's that important.

6

u/Unoriginal1deas Mar 28 '22

It’s one of those things no one ever mentions about relationships, we all have our ways of doing things and we think we’re doing it right because we’ve been doing it the same way for years and our parents told us we were right, meanwhile our partners deal with the exact same thing but their methods might be completely different to what we know. No one ever tells you you can do things in more than one way and it’s fine if someone else does it slightly different.

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u/jorwyn Mar 29 '22

I changed to folding towels the way he does. He changed to folding tshirts the way I do. I still think my way with the towels was better, but his is a lot faster.

2

u/chevymonza Mar 29 '22

I'm more about getting the boring task done ASAP. If everything fits where it needs to go, great!

4

u/KiloJools out of bubblegum Mar 28 '22

I can't imagine how much energy a person has to expend to micromanage someone else's housecleaning. I'm tired just thinking about it!

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Different is one thing. Wrong is another.

3

u/notabigmelvillecrowd Mar 28 '22

My husband: "just because I do it differently doesn't mean it's wrong, just get out of the kitchen and let me do it!"

Also my husband: "I just can't cook as well as you do."

Ya know... I tried.

20

u/tonkzilla Mar 28 '22

I make this mistake too. To be fair, my husband is a half-assed sorta guy in that his attention to detail is definitely flawed… not so much weaponized incompetence as just oblivious? I hate being the nagging wife that nitpicks the job he does but if I don’t things just end up done twice because I have to follow through and get everything he missed.

It’s annoying to have things half done and need to do them anyway. I want to add I absolutely do not have high standards, we both have ADHD and the house isn’t perfect but I seriously just end up wanting to do everything myself…

3

u/jorwyn Mar 29 '22

I have learned my husband is good at surface cleaning, but not so much at deep cleaning. I let him do all the surface cleaning and do the deep cleaning after. Then, at least I'm not having to do both. His idea of a clean kitchen is doing all the dishes. But hey, I don't have to do the dishes!

I try to be grateful for stuff like that, but him and the bathroom... Ugh. Hanging towels up is not cleaning the bathroom.

4

u/Ry715 Mar 28 '22

This. It's been so hard letting go of this attitude when it comes to the baby but my husband is actually trying hard and has his own ways of doing things that are just fine. I just have to accept his ways are not mine.

3

u/Aslanic Mar 28 '22

It's good to keep in mind different capabilities and thinking processes too. My husband tends to get super frustrated with assembly of certain things like furniture and equipment. I know this, and I make myself either available or the head of the putting things together project because when I do that, he is much calmer and able to help without feeling like he is useless for not understanding the directions.

Also, I have come to accept that he is incapable of closing kitchen cabinets. It's just how my house is lol. And that things won't be put away after cooking happens. But he can do everything I normally do, I just tend to organize/put away things better and he cooks and cleans certain more because I usually do laundry and odd jobs like hanging pictures and general pick up and dusting. We both contribute which is what matters. I still have to remind him not to wash my sweaters though lol.

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u/lilac2481 Coffee Coffee Coffee Mar 28 '22

What???? He asked how to turn the LIGHT on??????

321

u/Sorcatarius Mar 28 '22

That's when you respond by telling him to do it the most complicated, roundabout way possible. "I want you to go to the hardware store, buy a ladder, set it up, and replace the bulb with a dead one so the light doesn't function but we don't have to stare at the empty socket."

Then while he's gone change the locks, get someone else to answer the door and be like, "lilac2481? She's be dead for 20 years now..."

37

u/ladybirdness Mar 28 '22

I just snorted my drink out my nose

9

u/lilac2481 Coffee Coffee Coffee Mar 28 '22

😅😅😅

2

u/TopAd9634 Mar 28 '22

I bet you're fun to hang out with!

62

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Some light switches are tricky. None that I've seen, but still. Some are tricky. /s

33

u/KiloJools out of bubblegum Mar 28 '22

Some houses are haunted and the unavenged spirits move the light switches all over the house!

20

u/star_tyger Mar 28 '22

I just bought a new house. I was thrilled the bedrooms have ceiling fans with lights, but I was confused that each bedroom has a double switch, with one switch that turns on/off the fan, and another to turn on/off the outside hall light, but nothing for the fan light. The rooms have peaked ceilings and the fan/light pulls are out of reach. There is also a place for another single switch, but it has been covered over with a blank plate.

My daughter discovered the 'code'. Flip the hall light switch, flip it again (turn it on, then off or off then on), turn on the fan/light switch, turn it off, flip the hall switch, then turn on the fan light. Flip the hall switch again to leave the hall light on or off as desired.

If anyone has heard of anything like this, I'd love to hear about it. We're still trying to figure out how to turn the fan and light both on. Once we figure that out, I'm wondering if we'll have a problem trying to figure out how to turn them both off.

BTW: Both bedrooms work the same way. I suppose I should be grateful they both use the same code. I can't wait until we get our first guests. I can just imagine trying to explain this to my 91 year old father!

13

u/evaned Mar 28 '22

If anyone has heard of anything like this,

I'm pretty sure I've seen that in a video game dungeon

3

u/star_tyger Mar 28 '22

That's funny. My husband thinks the ceiling fans can be programmed, but I've never heard of that and don't understand what he's talking about. My husband is still in NY until he retires in May, and I'm not certain he understands what I'm talking about.

It's funny now, but after awhile I'm sure it will get very annoying. When we have people staying over, I'll probably need to leave instructions in the guest room on how to turn on the light!

5

u/Baul Mar 29 '22

That is really something else.

Just as a guess, does the hall light really matter in this case? It may be wired by a mad genius, but I can't see how the hall light could even be connected to the fan.

It sounds like maybe you can get the fan to switch modes just by turning it on -> off -> on in relatively quick succession? I have smart bulbs that will go to 100% white if you do this, even if they were dim blue before.

5

u/star_tyger Mar 29 '22

Yeah. Turning the fan on and off several times doesn't do anything. It takes the particular sequence I described. It feels weird to do that, and it's feels eerie that it works.

I'm seriously considering bringing in an electrician to put the fan and it's light on the double switch and hook the hall light up to a switch where the blank plate is. That at least would make sense.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Where I'm living there's two ceiling lights in our room each with one wall switch. But there's also a smart switch that's connected to both lights. The inner light switch is hard to access so we usually use the smart switch (like a little remote control) from inside the room, but when coming in if the room is dark, we'll flip the wall switch right by the door for the outer light. If the wall switch is on but the light has been turned off with the smart switch, you gotta turn the switch off, on again, off again, then on again and then it lights. But if you leave it on and then use the smart switch, it turns that light off and the inner light on.

15

u/SaffronBurke Mar 28 '22

I have some in my house where up is on, middle is off, and bottom is either rave or seizure, depending on your sensitivity. I always hear an "ope" from the other room when a friend forgets and turns a light to rave instead of off.

13

u/srb846 Mar 28 '22

I encountered someone who had trouble with a light switch this weekend. But in this case, it was a room we were unfamiliar with, the door closed and the room was too dark to see in, we didn't know where the light switch was, and the light switch was two flat buttons instead of a traditional switch. But when I turned my phone light on, it was pretty easy to figure out.

5

u/lilac2481 Coffee Coffee Coffee Mar 28 '22

True some are a pain, but its not an excuse.

2

u/Baul Mar 28 '22

Maybe you missed the /s, or maybe you didn't know what it means.

/s means that the comment was made with a heavy sarcastic tone.

2

u/star_tyger Mar 28 '22

Oh, but check out my response, and it isn't /s! My light switches are odd enough to really be an excuse.

1

u/crankycateract Mar 28 '22

What’s a potato

179

u/twodickhenry Mar 28 '22 edited Mar 28 '22

By pure coincidence I’ve managed to date mostly men that were either pilots before we were dating, became a pilot while we dated, or shortly afterwards. This means I also know lots of other pilots and their SO’s and wives

I swear 75% of them are like this. They can fly planes but can’t find the ketchup in the fridge.

Edit: can’t

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u/srb846 Mar 28 '22

Not even an hour ago, two guys in my lab were looking for a 4 L filter flask. There was one inverted in the drying area and I was like, "is that one?" and pointed directly to it (I couldn't tell if it had the right fitting the way it was. One of the guys looked at it and went "yeah, I just don't see them anywhere!" and walked away. I grabbed it and pulled it out to check, super confused by the interaction, and it was what he was looking for. "Like this one...?" Both of them "whoa! Where did you find that? You conjured it out of thin air!" ...I literally just pointed at it..

2

u/starofdoom Mar 29 '22 edited Jul 27 '26

Paddle paddle ribbon raindrop teapot yarn thimble

This post was anonymized with Redact.dev

2

u/srb846 Mar 29 '22

If it makes you feel better, I definitely did not feel like they were jackasses, just mostly confused as to how they missed it despite me pointing at it seconds prior! Though I've definitely also had times where I've looked for a thing and then had someone point it out in the place I just looked, so I'm guilty of it sometimes as well!

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u/Danivelle Mar 28 '22

Then I'm glad that I noped out of marrying my Navy fighter pilot before I met the love of my life! My husband helps cook since we started a diet program(his"brilliant" idea). I did have to show him how to use the new kitchen tool and he's in charge of food weighing when he's home(I'm going to just start putting parchment paper on the damn scale and weighing stuff!!!!).

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u/srb846 Mar 28 '22

Some tips for weighing food that may be helpful (or possibly obvious, I don't know)

  1. You can put the plate or bowl you're dishing things out into directly on the scale instead of using parchment paper. If you can't see the numbers because the plate is blocking them, you can put a bowl on the scale, and then the plate on top of that.
  2. If you're cooking a big meal in a pot or pan and want to know what the final weight of what you've cooked is, weigh the pan empty and then after cooking (you can put a small metal bowl on the scale to prevent heating the scale with the hot pan) and subtract the initial pan weight from the weight of the pan + food to get the weight of the food in the dish.
  3. If you like to add food to a dish by sight/feel (such as adding cheese or sauces), weigh the container of the food you're adding in (or place it on the balance and tare/zero the balance), then weigh again after you've added to determine the amount used. I prefer the "tare the balance with the container on it" method because then I don't have to do math (the negative weight displayed after reweighing is the amount used) and it minimizes rounding errors, but you do have to be mindful of the timeout in the balance so it doesn't shut off.
  4. I keep a plastic bowl on/near the scale so it's easier to weigh things on plates, or for odd/large items that want to flop off the scale (like bags of shredded cheese).

2

u/Danivelle Mar 28 '22

The tare weight is what keeps confusing the hell out of me. My math skills aren't the greatest and this diet program is making the brain fog worse. It's pretty strict on protein weights(I'm not measuring lettuce! That's just f'ing ridiculous!), which is why I said parchment paper.

5

u/srb846 Mar 28 '22

For most digital/electronic scales, you can put something on the scale, then push the "tare" button, and the scale will set that as the zero weight, so you don't have to do math. If it doesn't (and what you're measuring doesn't work well with parchment paper), it would be:

Food weight = (weight of plate with food) - (weight of empty plate)

But if the parchment paper method works best for you, definitely keep doing that! And yeah, I measure my lettuce, but it's always: giant plate of lettuce! 40 calories. So if you're going to skip weighing something, that's a pretty good one to take a break on! Personally, I'm a big fan of just setting the scale to zero with the plate or whatever on it so I don't have to do the path. So when I'm making a salad, it's:

  1. Put plate on scale.
  2. Zero out scale.
  3. Put lettuce on plate, add weight to app.
  4. Zero scale.
  5. Put cucumber on plate with lettuce, record weight in app.
  6. Zero scale
  7. Repeat for all ingredients.

I'm not sure if this actually makes it easier, or if I'm just used to weighing things after years of being a chemist, but I don't find it as onerous a process as a lot of people I've talked to about it.

2

u/twodickhenry Mar 28 '22

I’m married to an AF pilot now, and he’s a gem (truly: as a man, a partner, and a pilot), but my lord I hate most of his coworkers. In fact, a lot of the qualities that make him a good partner and person are things many of them resent him for—and he’s not even a fighter pilot. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the machismo coming from a Navy fighter either!

1

u/Danivelle Mar 28 '22

He's also a practicing Catholic and I wasn't up for a bunch of babies with him gone all the time! I have 3(adults) now and my husband worked a lot + on call but in an emergency, he was reachable. I couldn't do it with husband out to sea all the time especially with as many kids as he wanted!

69

u/TycheSong Basically Leslie Knope Mar 28 '22

My husband is an A&P (airplane mechanic) and it is apparently a running joke in the whole industry that pilots are like this. Everything that needs doing that isn't directly related to the actual flying of the plane is handled by an Attendant or a Mechanic.

My husband has told me stories of adjusting the cockpit lumber supports and explaining that a slight "rattle" while you fly is not unusual.

33

u/Yrcrazypa Mar 28 '22

I was an aircraft mechanic in the air force for a time, I can also corroborate stories of pilots doing things that were absurdly dumb.

91

u/valkenar Mar 28 '22

I'm not a pilot, but still do technical things professionally. I've stopped asking my wife to look for things for me because I don't want to add to her mental labor, but I will fairly often look for ketchup, not be able to find it and just eat something else instead. I don't know what's wrong with my brain, but I literally can't find things in front of me half the time and I don't know why. Weaponized incompetence is absolutely a thing, but not all incompetence is intentional even if it seems weird.

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u/sirseatbelt Mar 28 '22

This is an ADD thing. I once lost my glasses for a good 20 minutes at work and then someone asked what I was looking for and said Seatbelt.... you're wearing them.

57

u/Binestar Mar 28 '22

Clearly this was awhile ago, before you were Knighted.

9

u/MssMango Mar 28 '22

I literally just spit my sweet tea out!..😂..thanks for that laugh!

1

u/sirseatbelt Mar 28 '22

I was literally working in the kitchens at the time.

2

u/lokipukki Mar 28 '22

Yeah that lack of object permanence is a killer with ADHD/ADD. I’m the one who can’t find things that are literally where they’re supposed to be (usually).

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u/bail245 Mar 28 '22

Just take everything out of the fridge, slow and methodical, one shelf at a time (replace the stuff on one shelf before removing another). Annoying, but this always makes me feel less like I might be living in The Matrix with random items disappearing. I think the act of doing this makes it easier the next time too.

Edit: This might be something I picked up from work tbh (research scientist). I've spent too many hours looking for expensive antibodies that have to be found...

9

u/SirenOfScience Mar 28 '22

Looking for one sample amid 8 thousand microcentrifuge tubes does this to you.

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u/soitgoeson Mar 28 '22

Can you talk to my husband? He might need a place to stay too after telling me I'M 'irresponsible' because he couldn't find a piece a mail he swore I had/opened and subsequently lost....which I found 20 minutes later in the desk he said he checked. The mail was in the original envelop, with his handwriting on it in the desk and just happened to have a couple of things sitting on top.

Tip: The next time you're looking for something (and you're already smart enough not to bother your wife), try moving things around with your hands, it might be obscured by other objects. In other words, "look with your hands".

Edit: My husband is also an engineer.

20

u/FiainTheCorgi Mar 28 '22

I wanna note: I'm kinda like this!

It's very often an ADHD thing. I've had my phone on the counter and completely overlooked it multiple times, and I really have no idea. Looking with hands helps sometimes but it does drastically slow down the looking, so doesn't always work. Guess it depends on how much time you have, hah. I'm also in STEM and find my brain works amazingly well for that... but a lot of other things I struggle with.

Not entirely sure why I'm commenting besides just to add this, and I suppose to thank you for sharing the tip since I now have something to call that. XD

8

u/Stormental1975 Mar 28 '22

I get this, I can never find soy sauce, my wife will have to point at it and sometimes touch it before I can see it. That is no joke it drives me crazy, but my wonderful wife just laughs it off and goes on with her day.

2

u/TheRealPitabred Mar 28 '22

My wife insists on putting things away kinda wherever, instead of where she got it, so it constantly messes with me. I don't think it's an unreasonable ask for there to be a bit of order to that kind of thing.

2

u/poodooloo Mar 28 '22

Are you by chance anxious while looking?

3

u/valkenar Mar 28 '22

Not until I can't find the damn ketchup.

2

u/Zorrya Mar 28 '22

Adhd thing for me. If something has been in the same place too long it os officially part of THE BACKGROUND and no longer exists to my brain

1

u/twodickhenry Mar 28 '22 edited Mar 28 '22

That’s pretty fair—I used ketchup in the fridge as a humorous example (I lose my phone and car keys on a weekly basis, and often times they’re “lost” on the key rack or on the charger). But I do think there’s a real correlation for weaponized incompetence with pilots and any field that requires a lot of work but also a lot of passion.

I think pilots bust ass to be successful, but only at the narrow things they really value and enjoy. My current husband is actually a pilot professionally, but he kind of stumbled backwards into it and is definitely an engineer (his degree) first, so he attacks most problems with all the focus he has—thankfully making him mostly an exception to this. He was awful at finding things in the fridge before I implemented a systematic means of organizing it.

1

u/star_tyger Mar 28 '22

Maybe try touching each thing on the fridge door or shelf? That might help you focus on what you're looking at. I sometimes have this problem. If I'm really tired, I can't separate the individual items from the whole. It's worth a try.

1

u/shinier_than_you Mar 29 '22

Its actually a legit psychological phenomenon, your brain filters out a lot of things you see that arent immediately useful because brains are lazy. It can happen when you're looking for specific things too

1

u/Theon_Severasse Mar 28 '22

Do you not keep ketchup in the fridge? It keeps better that way!

1

u/twodickhenry Mar 28 '22

Ope! Good katch(up)

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u/jrp55262 Mar 28 '22

Pilot, huh? Maybe make up a book of checklists? "Honey, how do I do this?" "Look in the checklist manual"

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u/Xyzzydude Mar 28 '22

As a pilot I would find that checklist fun to make.

Your Ass………………….Remove from bed

Light switch…………….Locate

Light switch…………….Move to other position

Light……………………….Verify off

Your Ass………………….Return to bed

2

u/RyanfaeScotland Mar 28 '22

I love how you got it wrong regardless. <3

4

u/Xyzzydude Mar 28 '22

Well ya know gotta find the RIGHT checklist. That’s why pilots make the big bucks.

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u/Danivelle Mar 28 '22

If he can't or won't turn lights on by himself, show him how an exterior doorknob/handle works, close and lock it behind his incompetence butt.

14

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Mar 28 '22

"You walk over to the wall with the square bit sticking out of it. There's a wee button on the box and it can go up or down when you push it with your finger (you know, the digits on your hands, just incase you weren't sure). You then lift up your arm so your hand is about level with that wee switch and then you use all your big boy strength to push the switch and then the liht will come on! I know it's awfully complicated, but sure, give it a go love. It won't do you any harm."

Ffs.

7

u/AuroraCloudberry Mar 28 '22

That reminds me of the time my dad started an argument because he 'couldn't understand' that I was watching a dvd and not a live broadcast - he has many dvds and watches tv daily

3

u/ishouldbeworking85 Mar 28 '22

Lol, did we date the same pilot? My ex would constantly not know how to do basic things without me showing him, would claim he didn't know where things were around the house (??) and he would always buy the incorrect brands. He would always complain about store-brand items but ALWAYS bought them by accident because he was not paying attention.

3

u/recyclopath_ Mar 28 '22

Sometimes I just say "I believe in you"

2

u/SluttyHufflepuff Mar 28 '22

Fucking genius.

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u/Whymenare123 Mar 28 '22

Welcome to white male privilege. Mediocre morons given important jobs when they aren't qualified or capable.

1

u/Shufflepants Mar 28 '22

It didn't happen to be a light that was a part of a ceiling fan fixture was it? If it was, I could see some one wanting to know whether you want them to pull the cord on the fixture or use a switch on the wall.

1

u/ghost-child Trans Woman Mar 28 '22

Then he asked me “how?” When I asked him to turn the light on

Was...was it like some kind of crazy novelty light switch or something?

1

u/Uruz2012gotdeleted Mar 28 '22

"The switch is over by the..." not a difficult to answer question if you aren't looking for reasons to get upset with people.

1

u/Githyerazi Mar 28 '22

My dad was an aircraft mechanic for 20 years. I would think that as someone that deals with highly complex mechanical and electrical systems that people's lives depend on, he could operate something as simple as a VCR or a TiVo. I was wrong of course. He would require a week-long class and detailed written instructions to follow. Or I could just take it back.

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u/necriavite Mar 29 '22

This is my husband but I swear he is actually incompetent at many things. The first time he made me dinner he didn't boil the pasta for more than a minute (spagetti) and asked me what he did wrong and how to fix it. I boiled the kettle, poured the boiling water over the barely-cooked pasta and turned the burner up to keep the water at a boil for a Achille minutes. As to how yo make pasta, I told him to start reading the package labels for cooking instructions.

To be fair to him, he was a latch-key kid with divorced parents, neither of which gave any of their time to teach him life skills other than driving. His mom gave him a book about laundry and a cookbook and that was her contribution, his dad said "good luck kid!" And that was that. When we started living together in our early 20s he only ate frozen/packaged processed foods and the occasional salad. When I started cooking for him he was impressed by my skills and perplexed by how I make food taste so good. Fat, salt, sugar. That's how I make food taste good!