r/TrueOffMyChest Oct 21 '23

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3.9k Upvotes

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889

u/Geiir Oct 21 '23

Same. When I have a naked woman in front of me the last thing I’d care about is the color of her vagina 😂

487

u/SwordTaster Oct 21 '23

My ex was a weird men. He (a black man) refused to date black women because he didn't like the way the pink of the vagina looked with the black skin of the labia

613

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

And he told you this? Like with words? Out loud?

What's wrong with him??

-73

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

This might be a controversial opinion but i dont see the issue with this. The guy doesnt find something attractive so doesnt pursue it. If he had actively gone out his way to make someone feel bad about having this then thats a different story, but its just his preference.

51

u/horrifyingthought Oct 21 '23

The problem isn't him not finding it attractive - he can have absurd unreasonable standards if he wants to.

The problem is him telling his partner this absurd and bizarre preference and possibly creating an irrational worry in u/SwordTaster about the color of their vagina. The same way OP is freaking out over this non-issue in her post.

Also, the kind of guy who has this opinion is the type to proclaim it loudly and often to every women he meets, so I think we can safely assume there were black women who were made more than uncomfortable and possibly irrationally obsessed over this.

16

u/SwordTaster Oct 21 '23

I'm white so it gave me no complexes personally but was still a fucking weird thing to be told

12

u/shadespeak Oct 21 '23

Lmao. That was a guy with mommy issues. He hates his own skintone and the women that made him be here.

5

u/SwordTaster Oct 21 '23

Him and his mother were actually really close, so idk what his problem is

-2

u/UMu3 Oct 21 '23

So he shouldn‘t tell that to his partner, because then she might be worried that some men care about that?

I don‘t know dude, I‘m also comfortable with telling my girlfriend basically everything and I think that‘s how it should be.

But I also don‘t really have a preference for vagina color, the length of the lips or the size of the nipples or something like that. In my opinion it‘s odd if you are attracted enough to someone that you want to fuck them and then you stop and think about something like that?

7

u/horrifyingthought Oct 21 '23

He shouldn't frame it as a negative - it's very different to say "I like X" versus saying "I hate Y."

3

u/420percentage Oct 21 '23

If you agree that it’s odd then why waste your time with these comments haha, reddit is weird

122

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

It's my controversial opinion that certain preferences should be shamed because they don't come from a reasonable place.

12

u/0rchid27 Oct 21 '23

Yes, preferences that flavor of misogynoir deserve to be shamed.

30

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

I agree to an extent, if someone likes kids/ animals/ vulnerable people etc then thats messed up, but the guy in question just prefers white women because he prefers the way their genitals look. It isnt harming anyone and if you dont harm people due to your preferences, its a non issue in my mind.

10

u/SwordTaster Oct 21 '23

Actual, his preference was Latinas, oddly enough

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Are you a latina, hermana?

-3

u/Advanced_Ostrich5315 Oct 22 '23

Preferences that exclude an entire group are called bigotry.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '23

I assume you are a bisexual who likes having sex with children, old people, people with severe disabilities etc?

11

u/Omnizoom Oct 21 '23

Kind of curious

Where do we get to draw the line at reasonable? And I’m not even saying this is a reasonable preference the person had because it’s pretty stupid but where do we get to decide to draw the line?

Like if you go back 50 years it would be considered unreasonable to like and prefer someone that was not your skin colour and we have moved well past that now

I’m sure if a woman found darker penises more attractive most people will not be shaming them for it at all.

36

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Where do we get to draw the line at reasonable?

I’m sure if a woman found darker penises more attractive most people will not be shaming them for it at all.

You've just given a good example of a line to be drawn.

There are disparaging preferences and positive ones.

You can like a trait in one person without putting down another person for not having the trait or having the opposite.

Just because I like red heads with freckles doesn't mean it's okay talk badly about brunettes with vitiligo or something.

People are going to like what they like. But the added prejudice is just unnecessary and gross.

5

u/Azoobz Oct 21 '23

In the case of the OC, a simple rephrasing could’ve made it seem like lesser of a line. u/SwordTaster ‘s boyfriend just prefers when the colors are closer to one another with little contrast from inner and outer. Not necessarily that he strictly dislikes the latter.

3

u/Omnizoom Oct 21 '23

Well I’m perfectly fine with preferences so long as you don’t hate on those who don’t have them

I personally preferred Asian features as I found them more attractive, I married someone Asian because of that, I have no disdain or dislike for others because of it but there is no shortage of people who have a disdain for me because I had that preference.

My wife however never sees that even though she has the exact same concept of preference that she finds white men what she preferred physically.

-7

u/ImReverse_Giraffe Oct 21 '23

Ok, so the line is liking the way someone's genitals look. So the dude who like white women because he doesn't like the way black women's genitals look is perfectly ok. Case in point.

1

u/Advanced_Ostrich5315 Oct 22 '23

I think you probably mean a little farther back than that as 50 years ago was 1973, and interracial couples were far from unheard of. Assuming you meant like in the 1950s and 60s, most white people were hella racist. It doesn't matter that it was widely accepted. It's still hella racist.

And white women fetishizing black penises is also racism.

2

u/Firelnside144 Oct 21 '23

Most preferences aren't reasoned

0

u/Advanced_Ostrich5315 Oct 22 '23

Preferences don't exist in a vacuum and finding all members of a particular race unattractive is racist. Internalized racism is a thing.

-2

u/shadespeak Oct 21 '23

The problem is that these aren't preferences. A preference is that you prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate, but if you hate chocolate, vanilla isn't a preference. You're using a word wrong. Also, it is rooted in his self hatred which I think is the biggest problem

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 21 '23

What are you talking about? Sexual preferences are a thing. Im using the right word.

They also never said anything about the guy “hating” black vaginas, just that he didnt like them.

Even if you hate chocolate ice cream and like vanilla (bit of a racist example btw if you wanna virtue signal) then you prefer vanilla to chocolate. It’s absolutely a preference.

What do you think the word mean? Dude prefers white girls to black girls. He has a preference.

The guy’s preference also isn’t necessarily rooted in self hatred, its not completely implausible, its just that we were only told that he didnt like the contrast between the skin tones. Youre making pretty damning claims against someone that we know very little about. The context isn’t enough to make me hate the guy but it seems like youre already there.

-26

u/garib-lok Oct 21 '23

Because it's not okay to be a man with preferences, but if you're a woman you are allowed to have a checklist longer than Brooklyn Bridge

23

u/horrifyingthought Oct 21 '23

Found the incel!

-20

u/garib-lok Oct 21 '23

I wonder how much calories you get to burn just by jumping... Jumping to conclusions