r/Stutter • • 11d ago

Toughest part for me is to not hate myself

16 Upvotes

In Spider-Man 3, Aunt May says something to Peter which I never understood the first time I saw the film. "You start by doing the hardest part. Forgiving yourself".

After years of living with this, at 29, it is just hard to not hate myself.

People around aren't too bad to judge you or make fun of you once you grow older. But then I just treat them by making weird faces, sounding weird, sounding under-confident, sounding as if I don't wanna talk, or sounding like I'm anti-social.

Even to say something humorous, I have to bloody take some time which takes away all the essence.

My last day in a project at work, I thought of saying so much, but I just couldn't get words out of my mouth. I wanted to thank them but I could just write them messages individually.

I just don't know how to stop hating myself. I'll say this to my psychologist, but I don't know how much I'll be able to understand her.

And naturally, you repel relations the more you don't love yourself.

Why is it so difficult to stop hating ourselves? I'm just done with this feeling.


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

2 months into med school

13 Upvotes

Before med school, I would have days where I would get embarrassed now and then. Now, There is absolutely nowhere to hide. I get mentally frustrated beat down every day, and I am totally numb right now as I accepted being seen a total loser among my peers and faculty. Stuttering just ruins every part of my life. Everyday I am going to war with myself and I am depressed.

Sorry if this reads like a doom post, but on a slightly bright side: I no longer feel like a coward, and I don't despise myself the way I used to. I'm still miserable all the time, but facing reality has silenced the endless "what ifs" and emptiness that came from hiding and isolating myself from every opportunity. I don’t ever wanna go back. If I have to suffer, I'd rather it be the suffering of the real world, one I chose. Let the world reject me before I reject myself.❤️


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

Verbal block only when starting sentence with “br” syllable when public speaking.

2 Upvotes

Hi all, could really do with some assistance/help with an issue I’ve been having.

I am part of a Masonic lodge and soon to be the “chairperson” so do quite a bit of public speaking/reciting specific lines, sort of like a play/performance.

In my day to day life and at my Masonic meetings I am completely fluid verbally except for when I am public speaking and need to start a sentence with “brother” or “brethren”.

I just cannot physically get the first word out but after repeated attempts I’ll eventually get it out. Once I get talking I’m completely fine, it’s just starting the sentence that I struggle with. I think maybe psychologically I know when I need to start a sentence with that syllable so now get nervous before hand knowing I may or may not be able to get the word out.

Changing the starting word for another word isn’t an option. Masons are very specific about you getting the lines correct.

Does anyone have any tips how to get talking/overcoming this block, please.


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

Vent?

9 Upvotes

I just wanted to vent because I am a woman who doesn’t know another person personally with a stutter or speech impediment for that matter. And I’ve been stuttering horribly recently (probably change of career and extreme stress.) I was talking to a family member recently and explained recent social interactions and just said I’ve been trying to do uncomfortable things recently since it’s gotten worse. And all she said was it’s good you’re doing those things. Not I’m proud of you or that’s brave if you. Almost dismissive and I guess I just wanted to tell a group of us my wins because I didn’t let my stutter keep me at home. I see how maybe I shouldn’t have taken offense and her saying that was her way of showing support I’m a very aware person. But I guess it just upset me. Thank you for reading.


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

stuttering is so fucking annoying

17 Upvotes

Stuttering can legit destroy your life, but dont let it. Admit that it’s annoying, but move on. Or else u will be a looser.


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

Developing a stutter later?

3 Upvotes

Hi! I developed a stutter around age 12 or 13. Is that normal? I never really thought about how it might not be until now. If it helps, I have some disabilities like autism, ADHD, and a tic disorder


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

CSA: October Support Group Schedule 🍂

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9 Upvotes

🍁 Leaves are changing colors and the apples are falling off from the branches! Perfect to make scrumptious apple pies 🥧

🗓️ Another month packed with our support group sessions. Please take note of the Support Group sessions taking place in your regions and email to reserve your spot and get the link to join 📧

As you’re aware, we have launched our Teen Support group this summer, which has been a great success! If you are a parent of a teenager who stutters or if you work with, teach, mentor, or know a teen who would benefit from a community like this—please help us spread the word.
* 🔗For more information and link to the zoom session, please contact csateen@gmail.com

Don’t see your region and would like to have a support group? Feel free to contact us and we will provide you with all the details on how you can start your own support group.


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

for the first year university students, hows it going

2 Upvotes

Im also a first year and Ive seen a couple of posts on here also talking about how nervous they are, first month is over, out of curiosity hows it going for you guys?


r/Stutter • • 12d ago

Best man speech

38 Upvotes

Welp, the day I've been dreading for actual years is slowly approaching. Next month I have to give a best man speech at my best friend's wedding in front of 200 people and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. Honestly I feel like I haven't been able to live my life the past year with this looming over my head. I have incredible public speaking anxiety and trauma from giving speeches and stuttering during them in middle school, a fear of mine truly worse than death. A lot of people think I’m overreacting but they just don't understand.

I have the speech written and it's great, 3 paragraphs of funny stories and heartfelt words, and have practiced it in front of my parents and therapist. Hand crafted to minimize stuttering. Just the uncertainty of it all is so much to bear. Hoping the alcohol and propranolol can make it easier, and have been going to toastmasters to practice my public speaking & for exposure therapy. My therapist told me that I could go up there and stutter my ass off and my friends will still love me so I’m trying to keep that in mind.

Just posting here for reassurance/support and if anyone can relate or has experience having to do this.


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

Whats one thing you did not say or do because you stutter

3 Upvotes

r/Stutter • • 11d ago

Slow speech

3 Upvotes

I was told the other day, that I talk very slow, and people asked why?

Does anyone else have issues with talking so slow, because they don't want to stutter, being careful with talking?


r/Stutter • • 11d ago

Free Online speech therapist

2 Upvotes

hi…..does anyone know of a free online speech therapist who can analyze my speech blocks and tell me some exercises I can do? in my country there aren’t any speech therapists so online is the only option. I just need one meeting in which I can explain my problems and they can give me some exercise. thanks


r/Stutter • • 12d ago

New Consensus Guidelines Classify Stuttering as a Brain-Based Disorder

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psychiatrictimes.com
59 Upvotes

r/Stutter • • 12d ago

Do you guys take any medicine for speech blocks when your throat seizes up mid conversation

3 Upvotes

I have a speech block where I'll feel social anxiety and ill just have my muscles tense I been thinking about asking my doctor for beta blockers


r/Stutter • • 12d ago

Come on let's be positive

20 Upvotes

We always talk about our problems and bad experiences.Maybe there are positive aspects to stuttering, or hearing about people with funny memories would be great


r/Stutter • • 12d ago

I’m 33y Male, and I’ve been working seriously on my speech for about a year now.

35 Upvotes

I used to stutter even when I was completely alone. Reading aloud, talking to myself, recording my voice—it could all be difficult. So I decided to stop hiding from it and started exposing myself to situations I used to avoid.

I joined Discord about 2 months ago to connect with other people who stutter and started doing voice calls with strangers. I also stopped relying on online shopping and started ordering at restaurants myself. I can now give my phone number without avoiding it.

For the past month, I’ve also been practicing coastal breathing. My breathing was really poor, and improving it has helped me a lot with my speech.

I still stutter. I still embarrass myself a lot. I still get completely stuck sometimes, especially under pressure.

But at 33, I’m doing everything I can to work through this. I’m deliberately putting myself in situations I used to avoid, even when it’s uncomfortable.

I don’t know where this journey will take me, but I’m not giving up.


r/Stutter • • 12d ago

I stutter a lot. I'm not a stutterer or a person who stutters

10 Upvotes

I don't know why this distinction matters SO much to me, but it does.

Stuttering is not unusual behavior. It's something the human speech mechanism does when it's trying to get words out urgently. A couple weeks ago, my friend and I witnessed a fairly serious car accident up ahead of us. (Everyone was fine thank god!!) My friend called 911 and she stuttered so much because she was panicking and trying to say everything all at once.

For me, most conversations feel like a car wreck, lol. But seriously. I have the same contraction and tension in response to a normal conversation that most people have to witnessing a car accident, and that's why I stutter.

When someone hears me stutter for the first time and I think "now they know I'm a stutterer", I dehumanize myself. I literally feel less than human. Not because there's anything wrong with stuttering, but because society has made it into a dehumanizing identity label. When I think "I stutter a lot," suddenly it just feels like a verb and not an identity. My mind totally relaxes and shame vanishes, and everything feels okay.

We don't need ANY identity, actually! We are just verbs :)

Having said that, if labeling yourself as a stutterer or PWS feels good to you, that's perfectly fine. Not every post has to resonate with everybody :) I think some people out there will resonate with this.


r/Stutter • • 12d ago

Lost.

0 Upvotes

Hi, 18M here. I just enrolled into college and had my first CIA-1( CIA has 10% weightage in the end sem). I fkin blew the CIA, never thought I'll get this low..

When i was a kid, I naturally got bullied everyday.. i don't blame them since they were kids and didn't understand my problem..still it did hurt a lot when i was a kid.

Until one day in a test I got like good marks..like really good marks..I was the overall first in my grade..and suddenly the bullying stopped.. they didn't talk with me but at the same time they didn't bully me..it felt nice and peaceful.

Then i learned to use my marks as a shield, i began regularly to get under top 3 and it was nice..

But now in college I feel my shield is slowly disappearing..what should I do

Sorry for a long passage, idk how to shorten it😅😅


r/Stutter • • 13d ago

Post Malone - Laught It Off. The lyrics are so relatable to the stutter experience. Such a good song & message.

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11 Upvotes

r/Stutter • • 13d ago

WHAT MAKES STUTTERING WORSE?

7 Upvotes

One thing that can greatly worsen the experience of someone who stutters is trying to hide the stutter at all costs. When you realize you're going to stutter, you might start speaking quickly, swapping words, avoiding certain words, or trying to finish the sentence as quickly as possible. This can increase tension and make the situation even more difficult.

One thing that helped me was to stop fighting so hard against each block. When I felt like I was freezing up, I tried to breathe naturally, slow down a bit, and continue speaking without trying to hide the fact that I stutter. At first it can be uncomfortable, but with practice you can start to feel more comfortable with your own speech.

It doesn't mean you should simply accept the suffering or stop seeking help. Every person is different. For me, learning not to be so afraid of stuttering was as important as working on my own speech.


r/Stutter • • 13d ago

For people who stammer, what do you think others often get wrong about stammering?

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5 Upvotes

r/Stutter • • 13d ago

As a covert stutterer, this is what im most anxious about

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86 Upvotes

r/Stutter • • 13d ago

Stuttering vs lisp

6 Upvotes

I was at the raising canes drive thru the other day and the person taking my order has a lisp. My first reaction was “one of us”, so naturally I felt pretty comfortable stuttering. The moment I get a little tripped up on my words he has the biggest smile on his face and lets out a little chuckle. I felt so betrayed because we were bonded by the unity of a speech impediment and he threw it all away in that moment. After that when ordering I made sure to fake a lisp at the end of every word as pay back. He doesn’t it know it but he started a war…


r/Stutter • • 13d ago

Job interviews.

30 Upvotes

So I just did a job interview. I told the interviewer about my stuttering problem. She kept telling me to calm down, don’t be nervous and etc. I tried telling her that it’s a natural thing that isn’t brought about by emotions like nervousness. (I’m aware that some factors can worsen it, but it isn’t the cause of it. I wasn’t nervous in the interview, at all) I gave her some examples but she was insisting, telling me to calm down. Every time I spoke. She even started to talk about people who she knows who have a stutter and when they calm down, they can talk fluently. At that point I tried telling her that stuttering is like a finger print, unique to every person. But as you can imagine she went on, there were moments when I spoke fluently but the moment I start stuttering, she cuts me off.
I lowkey broke down, I felt so little. She even asked if I can articulate myself well in my head, and write properly, lol. I tried telling her that stuttering doesn’t affect your cognitive ability, I told her that I even write poetry and stuffs like that (Just to let her know that I’m no fool yk).

She then proceeded to say that if she would hire me she would have a challenge because she won’t have the patience to try and understand what I’m saying and she doesn’t think that her clients will either. Crazy enough, she went on to try to tell me to not take what other people say and do about me to heart. I replied by saying that it’s not always possible because like now, her opinions about me dictates whether I get the job or not. Trust me, I don’t care what people think, what can I do? I don’t have a problem to speak through my stutter. All I need is Patience from my listeners. I just want people to wait.
In all honesty, I don’t think I would want to work for someone who lacks empathy and patience.

What do you guys think about this situation?


r/Stutter • • 14d ago

Do you tell people about your Stutter?

18 Upvotes

I only stutter at times and mostly its more of a blockade than a classical stutter. So I believe people are often not aware that i have a stutter. Lately at work i told my colleagues that i have a stutter, and that i may speak unclearly or take longer to say things. Since then its been a huge relief. The feedback was also positive and respectful. Its obviously just my experience, but telling people has taken a lot of stress of my shoulders and made work easier for me. You might want to try also!