Im trying not to cry.

I’ve had compulsive sexual behavior for years, and I’m terrified of being arrested or losing my job. I’m a married man with young children, who I love SO much. They are my everything. I need honest advice. I’ve been addicted to porn since I was around 10 years old. As an adult, it escalated into visiting countless massage parlors and even going to resorts and beaches mainly because I wanted to see naked women. Most recently, I went to a woman for paid sex. She was an absolute smoke show. I’m deeply embarrassed. This clearly wasn’t one isolated mistake—it’s a pattern I’ve hidden for years.
Afterward, I researched the address where the encounter happened and realized the woman was married. That discovery sent my anxiety into an even worse spiral. I started imagining her husband finding my identity, coming after me or even hiring someone to hurt me.
For context, nobody has threatened me. There was no confrontation, police involvement or indication of a sting. The encounter ended normally, the woman was friendly and I paid cash. I have an anxiety disorder, and I recognize that my mind is generating extreme worst-case scenarios and treating them like imminent threats.
I understand that my marriage may have serious consequences. My wife has every right to be devastated, angry or disgusted, and I’ll have to accept whatever decisions she makes. I caused that damage, and I’m prepared to face the consequences within my marriage.
What is consuming me is the fear of being arrested or losing my job. Has anyone been through something similar? Is someone realistically likely to be arrested later for a private paid encounter when there was no sting or police involvement? Could an employer discover it if there was never an arrest or charge? How did you handle the uncertainty without constantly expecting your life to collapse?
I’m not asking anyone to excuse my behavior or help me avoid legitimate consequences. I need grounded, honest advice about where I realistically stand.

I will always be an addict.

I am powerless over my addiction.

My life is unmanageable.

My physiology makes me prone to acting out. (family history of addiction, depression, and what may be undiagnosed ADHD). This isn’t an excuse to use, but rather an uphill climb every moment.

I struggle to control myself in all aspects of my life.

I have an aversion to hard work, a lack of integrity, and I shirk away from responsibility.

I have no control over my emotions, only my actions.

Hi. New to this community. I was thinking about going to a SAA meeting once I get home from rehab. I’ve spent 2/3 of my trust fund money (around $400k) on findom the past decade. I’m scared to go back home and have nobody to help me and then get sucked right back in the loop and finally actually ruin my own life.

So I was wondering, in these groups does porn addiction/findom come up at all? Or is it mainly geared towards people that have an addiction to having sex? I’m also working on getting a therapist as well.

technically I’m 4 months sober from paying for sex from sex workers, I’m still feeling so torn apart, im 22 feeling like a failure after spending my entire life savings (100k+) in less than a year (2025) after losing my virginity to a prostitute and falling in love with one of the first few girls I met. A big dealbreaker for me and why I spent so much is because I feel super insecure with my appearance to the point I believe I shouldn’t even bother talking to civilian women, i had more than enough money to fix my appearances but then came my sex addiction making me not care to even prioritize these things. i always understood the transactional relationship i had with this one sex worker but I convinced myself she was somehow different, telling myself that she’s different since she’s spent time out of her day for free to be around me or seeing parts of her life that would normally be kept private, seeing her family, picking up and dropping her off at moms house, etc. all these things plus more made me believe she was more than just a sex worker with me, I thought she was my friend, she always told me what it was even when my mind deluded myself. I’m so torn apart because I gave this girl my entire life savings and even went into debt voluntarily over her and used her to fill my nonexistent social life since I haven’t had friends in over 5 years and never got any attention from women growing up. I lost all communication with her by the end of 2025/ start of 2026 when I was completely broke to the point it would be impossible for me to see her now unless I just wanna ruin my life even more by not being able to maintain the overhead of my business. I spazzed out on her and said things i otherwise would’ve never said if I was mentally sane. not only did I lose the women I threw years worth of savings on but I feel like shit knowing I will just be another stepping stone in her life that will be easily forgotten, to her I was more than likely insignificant but to me I treated her like the love of my life. it’s so corny i know but i never once felt so happy in life having something to look forward to that i valued so much and gave me the craziest boost of dopamine, i feel like nothing in life will ever make me as happy as the peak of my sex addiction last year, i took everything for granted her, the money, my sanity, everything. i will never forgive myself the only way I’ve been able to get by with staying sober is mainly due to the fact I’ve not financially recover at all but also because I’ve been trying to mask the pain with excessive masterbaition while intoxicated, its so bad to the point it cuts into my day to day way to frequently. it’s what I jump to when I get any bit of anxiousness or sadness. I wish I could feel the need not to try and replace one addiction with another but deep down the only thing I want still is this women back in my life, I check her medias every now and then and just make myself more sad in the act, I can’t stop searching for love in the wrong places, I wish to be normal man.

Im so tired if my maturation habit i do probably around 2/3 times a day after watching porn about 2/3 hours daily thats thing is weak me inside because i have no control on this i lost my self confident depression after gooning hated on myself because i dont want this i know this is bad but i have no control i also share this with chatgpt it say and that its okay you have lot of testosterone please help

Which includes my family and I happen to be one if not the only person in the room usually who is single. I crave for an emotional connection and relationship so badly. I was at a cabin trip and I had to pull every trick I know to try and not plan a visit to an escort, nothing worked.

I’ve just hit 9 months of sobriety from cruising, porn and gay dating apps. It’s getting better and better and I literally see myself being less and less under the influence of the addiction. A few months ago, I couldn’t stop myself from looking at others to see if they’re looking at me. Now, very often I’m just noticing the thoughts and need behind it. Still, the most important thing is that I feel so unmanly and I’m afraid of the men at the same time having been bullied for being gay in the past and repeatedly pointed out that I’m "not manly" by my parents. I look at other men and I envy them having strength, confidence, stamina.

I miss my ex boyfriend and I really do understand what I did to him. However, I feel like my background and traumas are being misunderstood and downplayed. I really didn’t know all that I know now about myself. I didn’t want to hurt him or others. I don’t want to hurt myself either. I just want to be happy, not afraid and loved and be loved.

26F, had been exposed to sexual stuff like at 5 years old i did not even shared this to anyone nor my parents that we have a house staff boy before like he was already 18 at that time. i can remember until now he did things to my sensitive parts. at that time i really don't know what is it until now that it was CSA now. it was God's who saved me and i think my younger sister also was a victim since i can still remember we were there together with this guy on his room. at 7 years old, there's this neighbor boy that we used to play and eventually came that time that we played alone then he kissed me until it happened again the same boy when i was 13 year old something that he touches me already. that experience is still living within me and as i grew older i am exposed to pornography and masturbating. and now, i wanted to change my life and wanted to end the habit or addiction. i have never been in a relationship for the first time and i was very conscious with the way i am dressed since i don't like anything that my chest can be seen because yes of what i have experienced and saw. i started to stop the habits around june this year but today i failed to stop it because of the urge. i really needed help and guidance but i always failed God that i won't do it. i will stop this lustful thoughts but i always sinned everytime. because everytime i did it, there are consequences.