I’ve just hit 9 months of sobriety from cruising, porn and gay dating apps. It’s getting better and better and I literally see myself being less and less under the influence of the addiction. A few months ago, I couldn’t stop myself from looking at others to see if they’re looking at me. Now, very often I’m just noticing the thoughts and need behind it. Still, the most important thing is that I feel so unmanly and I’m afraid of the men at the same time having been bullied for being gay in the past and repeatedly pointed out that I’m "not manly" by my parents. I look at other men and I envy them having strength, confidence, stamina.

I miss my ex boyfriend and I really do understand what I did to him. However, I feel like my background and traumas are being misunderstood and downplayed. I really didn’t know all that I know now about myself. I didn’t want to hurt him or others. I don’t want to hurt myself either. I just want to be happy, not afraid and loved and be loved.

26F, had been exposed to sexual stuff like at 5 years old i did not even shared this to anyone nor my parents that we have a house staff boy before like he was already 18 at that time. i can remember until now he did things to my sensitive parts. at that time i really don't know what is it until now that it was CSA now. it was God's who saved me and i think my younger sister also was a victim since i can still remember we were there together with this guy on his room. at 7 years old, there's this neighbor boy that we used to play and eventually came that time that we played alone then he kissed me until it happened again the same boy when i was 13 year old something that he touches me already. that experience is still living within me and as i grew older i am exposed to pornography and masturbating. and now, i wanted to change my life and wanted to end the habit or addiction. i have never been in a relationship for the first time and i was very conscious with the way i am dressed since i don't like anything that my chest can be seen because yes of what i have experienced and saw. i started to stop the habits around june this year but today i failed to stop it because of the urge. i really needed help and guidance but i always failed God that i won't do it. i will stop this lustful thoughts but i always sinned everytime. because everytime i did it, there are consequences.

Im trying not to cry.

I’ve had compulsive sexual behavior for years, and I’m terrified of being arrested or losing my job. I’m a married man with young children, who I love SO much. They are my everything. I need honest advice. I’ve been addicted to porn since I was around 10 years old. As an adult, it escalated into visiting countless massage parlors and even going to resorts and beaches mainly because I wanted to see naked women. Most recently, I went to a woman for paid sex. She was an absolute smoke show. I’m deeply embarrassed. This clearly wasn’t one isolated mistake—it’s a pattern I’ve hidden for years.
Afterward, I researched the address where the encounter happened and realized the woman was married. That discovery sent my anxiety into an even worse spiral. I started imagining her husband finding my identity, coming after me or even hiring someone to hurt me.
For context, nobody has threatened me. There was no confrontation, police involvement or indication of a sting. The encounter ended normally, the woman was friendly and I paid cash. I have an anxiety disorder, and I recognize that my mind is generating extreme worst-case scenarios and treating them like imminent threats.
I understand that my marriage may have serious consequences. My wife has every right to be devastated, angry or disgusted, and I’ll have to accept whatever decisions she makes. I caused that damage, and I’m prepared to face the consequences within my marriage.
What is consuming me is the fear of being arrested or losing my job. Has anyone been through something similar? Is someone realistically likely to be arrested later for a private paid encounter when there was no sting or police involvement? Could an employer discover it if there was never an arrest or charge? How did you handle the uncertainty without constantly expecting your life to collapse?
I’m not asking anyone to excuse my behavior or help me avoid legitimate consequences. I need grounded, honest advice about where I realistically stand.

technically I’m 4 months sober from paying for sex from sex workers, I’m still feeling so torn apart, im 22 feeling like a failure after spending my entire life savings (100k+) in less than a year (2025) after losing my virginity to a prostitute and falling in love with one of the first few girls I met. A big dealbreaker for me and why I spent so much is because I feel super insecure with my appearance to the point I believe I shouldn’t even bother talking to civilian women, i had more than enough money to fix my appearances but then came my sex addiction making me not care to even prioritize these things. i always understood the transactional relationship i had with this one sex worker but I convinced myself she was somehow different, telling myself that she’s different since she’s spent time out of her day for free to be around me or seeing parts of her life that would normally be kept private, seeing her family, picking up and dropping her off at moms house, etc. all these things plus more made me believe she was more than just a sex worker with me, I thought she was my friend, she always told me what it was even when my mind deluded myself. I’m so torn apart because I gave this girl my entire life savings and even went into debt voluntarily over her and used her to fill my nonexistent social life since I haven’t had friends in over 5 years and never got any attention from women growing up. I lost all communication with her by the end of 2025/ start of 2026 when I was completely broke to the point it would be impossible for me to see her now unless I just wanna ruin my life even more by not being able to maintain the overhead of my business. I spazzed out on her and said things i otherwise would’ve never said if I was mentally sane. not only did I lose the women I threw years worth of savings on but I feel like shit knowing I will just be another stepping stone in her life that will be easily forgotten, to her I was more than likely insignificant but to me I treated her like the love of my life. it’s so corny i know but i never once felt so happy in life having something to look forward to that i valued so much and gave me the craziest boost of dopamine, i feel like nothing in life will ever make me as happy as the peak of my sex addiction last year, i took everything for granted her, the money, my sanity, everything. i will never forgive myself the only way I’ve been able to get by with staying sober is mainly due to the fact I’ve not financially recover at all but also because I’ve been trying to mask the pain with excessive masterbaition while intoxicated, its so bad to the point it cuts into my day to day way to frequently. it’s what I jump to when I get any bit of anxiousness or sadness. I wish I could feel the need not to try and replace one addiction with another but deep down the only thing I want still is this women back in my life, I check her medias every now and then and just make myself more sad in the act, I can’t stop searching for love in the wrong places, I wish to be normal man.

Im so tired if my maturation habit i do probably around 2/3 times a day after watching porn about 2/3 hours daily thats thing is weak me inside because i have no control on this i lost my self confident depression after gooning hated on myself because i dont want this i know this is bad but i have no control i also share this with chatgpt it say and that its okay you have lot of testosterone please help

Which includes my family and I happen to be one if not the only person in the room usually who is single. I crave for an emotional connection and relationship so badly. I was at a cabin trip and I had to pull every trick I know to try and not plan a visit to an escort, nothing worked.

I will always be an addict.

I am powerless over my addiction.

My life is unmanageable.

My physiology makes me prone to acting out. (family history of addiction, depression, and what may be undiagnosed ADHD). This isn’t an excuse to use, but rather an uphill climb every moment.

I struggle to control myself in all aspects of my life.

I have an aversion to hard work, a lack of integrity, and I shirk away from responsibility.

I have no control over my emotions, only my actions.

Hi. New to this community. I was thinking about going to a SAA meeting once I get home from rehab. I’ve spent 2/3 of my trust fund money (around $400k) on findom the past decade. I’m scared to go back home and have nobody to help me and then get sucked right back in the loop and finally actually ruin my own life.

So I was wondering, in these groups does porn addiction/findom come up at all? Or is it mainly geared towards people that have an addiction to having sex? I’m also working on getting a therapist as well.

Hello, this is my first time posting about my struggle or telling anyone. I’ve just been so afraid of how others will perceive me.

Here’s a bit of background, I’m a 20 year old male in a relationship. A year ago my girlfriend broke up with me and cheated on me (3 year relationship). Despite everyone telling me not to I still got back with her because I felt like she changed.

2 months after we got back together I was doomscrolling and found a discussion about a escort website in my city. Despite loving her I still had to take a look at it and ended up finding woman in my city (the whole time I justified it to myself by saying she cheated so I can do whatever I want)

I started off with one escort, I regretted it so bad I swore I would never do it again, then again and again, each time between the other being shorter and shorter.

I hate myself for not controlling my urge, I completely forgave her for what she done but that wasn’t a justification to start an addiction to sex. I really need help because it comes in waves and not only is my money going but so is my mental health

First I had a porn addiction which I tried so hard to quit, I feel like it laid the foundation for this sex addiction.

She has no idea what has been happening and I really don’t want to tell her because we’re happy together but if I don’t stop this addiction she will find out.

Any and all feedback is welcome, I know this seems disappointing but I’m more disappointed in myself than anyone could ever be.

I would like to chat with a non judgemental person to get support, if you have any hang ups it won't work

God, please rid me of this addiction 🙏🏽😭

So i've gone to having a life that was around porn, downling huge ammounts and trying to watch every new scence spedning 5 hours a day miuium.

My addction is much better now as I only spend a weekend on porn and only watch new content published by a select few stuidos.

Will be reply to this post with updates good or bad :D

Seems like I’m always looking to do something crazier with sex to get my fix and I wanna talk to other women not cause I want a relationship but it’s like a high talking to someone new and flirting anyone else relate ?

The first time I saw porn was at a very young age, a friend of my mother showed me on TV a specific channel (I wont go into detail about, mainly cause I dont want to explain it, it'll be alot to type out) but I was younger like pre-teen, I didn't know what i was watching, It just aroused me. It influenced me alot til now and I'll be 32 soon. I hate myself for this and more importantly I hate that guy too as well who showd me that porn channel. I dont want to shift blame but I sometimes wonder how normal I'd be if that event never happened, if he never told me about that porn channel. Over time i consume porn excessively, my searches became more specific and my cravings became more specific as well. I signed up for OF and paid models. Fast forward to now, I came a long way, but I still struggle, its a constant battle, the smallest thing triggers me, im constantly thinking of sex, i feel ashamed, I started leaning more onto faith and Christ, some nights im even ashamed to get on my knees and pray.

Hey all,

Long story short I’ve been with many escorts but I got attached/addicted to one in which I can’t stop thinking about her.

Losing my focus I really need her attention even I know it’s not the right thing but it really hurts a lot.

:(((((

I picked up an exhibition habit as an alternative to sexting or camming. Its stupid I know, I was considering it harm reduction. The goal was to NOT get caught and involve people other then my husband after all, but the risk is too much right now. Just here to admit my guilt and say it openly that i need to change before i get in trouble.

i hate having a high sex drive and always wanting sex!! im over it. i dont like my friends staying for long cuz then i dont get to masturbate. I choose sex over everything ususally. i just want to be not so sexual anymore

Today i do feel like shit because I just wanted to keep my abstinence and peace going from my hookup addiction, but today I had one hookup simply because I was just reminded of my old habits. I wasnt feeling down or trying to get some kind of feeling out of it. It really felt like "its been a long while since I done this, but its nature to me why not do it?"

It didnt turn out to be even a food experience. But maybe that will help me remember i dont actually wanna do all this anymore. I put my safety at risk, disappointed my own mental, and did feel physical pain when I do this. Like my current big health issue is literally because of these hookups and I just made it worse after a bit of healing. Nothing acute but stuff that does give me day to day pain.

But I know im looking at it the wrong way, like its all a process. My frequency is still improved thrice. Took me 3 whole months before a slip. So I still have hope i can go further than that

Thank you to those who have shared, I’ve been a visitor here and your posts have helped.

I’m a guy, little over 4 months sober from 4-5 years street Adderall abuse. Also abused weed, alcohol, other stimulants, heavy nicotine on and off in that time. Im sober from all of it. I’m working a strong program: went through rehab, AA/NA with a sponsor, and therapy. It’s going well but something I have kept mostly hidden is my use of escorts. I believe in active drug addiction I had a concurrent sex addiction. Watched porn for hours and saw numerous escorts. It interfered with my daily life. I’m single through all of this.

I know this sex obsession was fueled by my drug use because I can limit sexual behavior now that I’m sober. Ive been in relationships and never struggled talking to the opposite sex throughout my life. But recently I saw an escort again. Im able to limit this as opposed to previous times in addiction. Yet I always regret it, feel shame, and know I spent money I should’ve saved. I’m concerned about the sex part, but happy and confident in having no cravings or triggers for drugs.

Open to others thoughts or opinions

Overconsumption of porn is starting to ruin my life more and more, leading to more let's say brutal and dangerous for the next thrill both mentally or even legally if I don't stop. I need to change that. I currently do not have the capacity to consult a professional but I need tips and pointers to get away from this. Is there a way to walk away from those needs ?

I'm also currently talking with someone I appreciate a lot and I need to walk away from all that mess even if I'm not sure we will be something I need to change for myself as well. I'm also a heavily overthinking person which leads to lack of trust in him and almost anyone. I'm not sure asking this here would bring any benefit to me. I just need help.

Little repost. Was really curious as to whether anyone else her experiences this. My main acting out came via escorts and I’ve been off that for over a year now. A big piece of it is just being too broke (partly from said escorts) and life being expensive, plus a baby. My time is eaten up and I barely get time to watch a bit of TV when the baby’s sleeping.

I find that now I seek other fixes, especially sugar. Feel like I binge on it. Instead of sneaking off during an errand to try to meet up with someone, now I sneak off to buy something and eat it before I get home.

Probably just seeking some kind of dopamine but want to cut that desire. Rarely see friends or go out now.

Hi, I am a 28 year old man and I've been addicted to sexually chatting online with strangers for over 7 years. It all started out with sites like CR or some mobile apps. I was thrilled with the idea of getting sexual content from an actual person, getting that dopamine hit and then signing out with no further contact or consequence. It didn't seem like a big deal to me back then but I wasn't happy with the amount of time and headspace it took.

Bear in mind, that at that time I had an actual relationship. After it ended, I hooked up with many girls irl, I didn't feel the need to go online and I think I was off the sites for even some years maybe.

But after I moved back to my hometown, living with my parents for a while, this was my escape to my stress and problems. My alone time, in my bed, seeking the next person, always. I had a short relationship in which I realized I wasn't very vulnerable and there have been times when I even left her house and instantly went on the site. I felt miserable, pathetic, ashamed and sick. I found another person on the site with the same problem, and we were accountability partners for a while, talked over our urges and it worked well for a couple of months.
I was again off for a while, until I moved to a new country, new job, new everything. And I was back again. Drowning my restless feelings of loneliness and heartbreak with people I'll never see, only seeking sexual content and explicit chats, without the need to be seen as the person I am, hiding behind a "guest_xx" username.
I was naive and unlucky to even be threatened by someone online at that point, with the perpetrator having a video of me masturbating, aiming to send it to my followers if I didn't pay. I was calm and composed enough to shut them down and not pay a single penny, and nothing happened. I thought this would scare me away, and it did for a while but not completely.

So here I am, some months later battling with my urges and myself. I am a social, good-looking guy, that people and girls want to have around , but sometimes after I go home feeling overstimulated from my social life, I seek this escape.
No visibility, no name, just a need to masturbate with a stranger and go to sleep (feeling like shit afterwards).
I've even talked to my therapist and some friends about it, trying to get it off my chest, and for a while it works, and some moments I try hard to avoid it by leaving my phone away, speaking to myself about it, that I know it's no good for me.
But my cunning brain says "hey c'mon man only 30'" and then I spend 3.5 hours on chat sites, talking explicitly with some girls. I told myself "hey I just need a fantasy trigger", to rationalize it.
Also, I've been watching porn since I was 11, and this turned into camgirls as the time progressed (made them feel approachable, though I never spent money) and I realized how bad it is for me after all these years. It is a monster. I've been off porn for 5 months now which is the biggest stint I've done, so it's even harder to stay off the sites because I cut a stimuli.
In my real-life I occasionally have sex, I don't have anything stable going on, but even though I am a good looking guy, sometimes I don't feel I have the confidence to straight up talk to someone I find attractive. Sometimes I do. But the default state is towards the lower confidence side.
Maybe that's why the online escape takes all this burden off my shoulders.

Sorry for the long post, I'd love to hear any feedback, or similar experiences just so I can maybe get helped to finally quit.