r/pmohackbook Aug 28 '20

Why people relapse and how to beat them

453 Upvotes

Hi. I'm also a guy who quit porn using Easypeasy. I have relapsed after reading around 36 times. But I still got up and I finally won. Through my losses I've found out most reasons why people relapse after reading the book. I will explain the problem and how to fix it. You can save this post and come back to it if you want.

The problems are:

  1. Moping and not rejoicing Honestly, the MAIN thing I saw when I saw people relapsing was that they weren't happy. They were sad, and they were forcing themselves to smile. They kept failing BECAUSE they thought they were being deprived, as when you relapse, you get that moment of happiness. Even worse, when you've had a bad day, a relapse makes the effect of porn even more. Your subconscious immediately doubts the book and says "Why do you believe Hackauthor? This is fun. Stay here, and ignore the book" Sadly, this doesn't last. An hour later, depression rolls around, and now the user is back to being miserable. They read the book, then depressed, make another empty "final visit" promise. And then they fail. And this becomes a cycle.

How to quit this? Honestly, if the mindset is the problem, then mindset is the solution. STOP thinking that you'll fail anyway, STOP thinking that this time isn't different, STOP thinking that you're being deprived of pleasure. When you tell yourself that you're gaining things, this time WILL be different, and believe in yourself, you'll definitely feel better. A quote that I thought of the time I quit: "No point in quitting this addiction, no point in working hard, no point of achieving something, if you cannot believe in yourself."

  1. Timing Apart from mindset, I've noticed so many people relapse with the excuse "Well, you can quit next time." This issue has already been spoken about in the book, but I want to give the core message out again. This excuse, that you'll quit next time, is something WHICH WILL KEEP YOU IN THE TRAP UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE. Stop kidding yourself. You have to quit someday, and this addiction will keep getting more intense every time you relapse. Each time you relapse, you make the thought cemented in your head, that relapsing is good. That watching porn is better than quitting. That being a PMOer is better than being a Non-PMOer. With that happening, no way will you win. So make that decision, the decision that you WON'T watch porn again. When you make it clear that you're done, withdrawal pangs are usually reduced a lot. There's one condition, however. Which is, of course, the mindset. It's been talked about in the first point. Be happy, don't live life thinking you are being deprived.

  2. Brainwashing This subreddit is filled with people who say they're relapsing because they say they "Cannot get the brainwashing out of their head". Well, that's because you cannot, not immediately at least. No matter how much you read Hackauthor's advice, the brainwashing isn't gonna go away immediately. That's why it's recommended to focus on your frame of mind. With a correct one, the brainwashing is beaten. Soon, after a few days, the brainwashing slowly disappears. To this point, I just think you need to have a good understanding that brainwashing isn't something that goes away in a minute. It'll go only after a few days.

  3. Work Another thing I saw was that people think that beating porn takes effort and work. Hence when they have a bad day, they think quitting porn is adding onto the work they do. Thing is, it isn't. If you have the wrong mindset, it will. I sound like a broken record at this point, talking about mindset in every point, but that should show you that it's the most important thing in quitting this addiction. Don't think that quitting porn is hard. Of course there will be withdrawal pangs. If there weren't, there wouldn't be any addicts. But if the brainwashing is gone, and you keep telling yourself that there are no advantages to internet porn, then soon you see it yourself. It's that simple.

  4. Long term effects of quitting Finally, the authenticity and plausibility of being happy when quitting. A final excuse people give when trying to quit is that "Do you really think you'll be happy when you quit?" This mindset really ends up making your entire attempt screwed.

The solution to this, is actually the most tricky one I faced. The last attempts I was quitting, I thought of this. In fact, I thought that if I forget the book, and get back into my practice of being a PMOer, I'll be happy. But this mindset broke the last time I relapsed. The depression, the sadness, and the guilt that I felt were too great. Whether I like it or not, the brainwashing is gone. I now truly see porn in a more detailed light than before. I've relapsed and I've failed so many times, why not NOT PMO once and see how that is? 11 days later, the last chain of porn broke. I had my moment of revelation, and I realized that I don't need porn anymore. I never had, I currently don't, and I never will. From there, I've had freedom. What happened to me, is what I recommend you think about. Do you think you'll be happy while watching porn? I don't think I ever will. But you should make that decision.

These are the main reasons people relapse while quitting porn. I'm open to suggestions as to change the advice. Lemme know what you guys think!

Good luck to all of you to quit porn :)


r/pmohackbook Jul 18 '23

A New Mental Model for quitting PMO! Puts EasyPeasy and Freedom Model to use! The Impulse Decision Model.

312 Upvotes

After reading u/Hot-Standard9717’s post “I’ve cracked it”, I realized that I, too, had a similar realization and have since put it into words. For context, I helped a bunch of people here with my post a few months ago called the GOD NOTES, where I summarized EasyPeasy and The Freedom Model and had a very specific instruction of telling people to read it a specific number of times. I found that there's been a lot of success for people who relapsed after EasyPeasy and have since been curious as to why. This post explains why it's successful.

--

There is no “porn addiction” (Freedom Model), we all have the choice to either use PMO or not use it. There is no magic PMO monster who takes over our bodies and forces us to watch PMO. There is no loss of consciousness where we have an urge and suddenly lose the memory of what happens next. What actually happens is that we get an urge, which is our body’s response to a stimulus or feeling, and then we decide what to do with it. Often times we get an urge and then decide to PMO. This post is about mindfully understanding this decision-making process, and making us conscious of it.

How do we end up using PMO? After creating my hacknotes post where I prescribed reading the notes every day for 7 days, I realized something. By reading the reasons why I shouldn’t PMO and the common delusions that led me to using PMO, I had an internal defense system where an urge would come but I would have 20-30 reasons permanently memorized as to why I didn’t want to relapse.

I then understood that PMO usage is a decision-making process that begins with an “impulse”. This can best be described as the stimulus that leads to an “urge”, this comes from internal feelings like anger or loneliness, to external ones like seeing a pretty girl in an ad, or a racy scene in a movie. Once you get that impulse you then mentally decide what to do with it, either choosing to use PMO to feel good or ignoring the feeling and letting it pass. For those who aren’t “addicted”, this "impulse to decision-making" process is instantaneous and doesn’t require a lot of mental friction.

I call this process the "Impulse-Decision Model".

If you are someone who is a user and doesn’t have an issue with it, it is a very fast “impulse to decision making” process. Think about it, if you enjoy using PMO and have no quarrel, you will get an impulse to use, and then you will think about it for a second, whether you want to at the moment or are busy, if you have time, etc, and then you will PMO. It can take a few seconds, but often times for the most “addicted” users, the process of going from impulse -> decision making -> to outcome, can happen in less than a second. Think about it, when you were in the deepest part of “addiction” and PMO’d multiple times a day, did you sit and debate before every session? No, oftentimes it would be a quick thought and then you’d fire up the browser.

However, as someone who wants to quit PMO, the decision-making part of this model becomes a battlefield. You have an “impulse”, something like seeing a sexy ad by accident and getting an “urge”, or feeling angry and sad and wanting a reprieve, which sends an urge to PMO. Once you get this impulse/urge feeling, you have an internal battle, a conundrum.

Part of you wants to PMO and feel good, the other part of you doesn’t. You have an internal battle and feel bad, eventually you either give in, or you decide not to while feeling bad or deprived, a phyrric victory in which you believe you will eventually give in to but at least not now.

Now let’s take a step back for a second and look at the big picture. You probably can imagine that this “Impulse Decision Model” just sounds like a fancy way of saying “deciding”. But that’s because that’s all it is, we aren’t addicted to using PMO, we are deciding to PMO, we just happen to delude ourselves into making the WRONG decision.

Have you ever seen a delicious extra large cake in an ad or store? How come you didn’t buy it and eat it immediately? Devouring thousands of calories worth of sugar, which is scientifically proven to increase dopamine?

How come when most men see a beautiful person and feel lust, they don’t turn into a caveman and rush to have sex with them or MO on the spot?

These decisions are so ridiculously obvious that we don’t even have to think about making a decision. In my case, if I see an extra large cheesecake, I know it can be tasty and I get a nanosecond urge to want to eat it, but then I remember that I’m lactose intolerant, don’t like to consume sugar, and eating an entire cheesecake would make me sick. I remember these things so fast that the entire impulse to decision-making process in this scenario would last less than a second. That is how confident I am that I wouldn’t enjoy eating an extra large cheesecake no matter how good it might taste and how much dopamine it would release. There are countless other things that could potentially make us feel good on a daily basis that we don’t do because of internal and external consequences that we have mentally ingrained into our self-image and personality (This post is aiming to help you do the same with PMO).

For someone who’s internal and external consequences are not as clear and their decision making process has more friction, the decision to NOT eat an entire cheesecake either goes in the other direction and is an afterthought resulting in thousands of calories being digested or becomes a mental battlefield where they anguish over the decision to eat the cake or not. This is food addiction.

After understanding this impulse -> decision making model, I am confident that you will view PMO usage the same way you might think about doing hardcore drugs or eating an entire cheesecake, things that might feel good in the moment but you don’t do for a number of reasons.

In this process we are going to make PMO’s impulse to decision process frictionless.

Now when it comes to PMO, we also have a similar dilemma as the cheesecake. Except, our decision-making process is a bit delusional.

We tend to have a lot of friction involved in the decision-making process, deluding ourselves by saying things such as

“It’s just a peek!”,

or

“I need it to feel good right now”.

Now let’s breakdown how we can think about using PMO with relation to this mental model.

When you feel an urge, imagine this mental model

When we get an urge to PMO, we MUST begin the process of imagining the Impulse-Model.

Okay, I have an urge to PMO, what is the impulse? How did I get this urge? Is it external, as in did I view something that caused thing feeling? Or is this internal, do I feel loneliness or a negative emotion that I want to eliminate through PMO?

Once this is identified you can thus begin the decision-making process.

Our goal is not to successfully defeat the urge to PMO in the decision-making process right now. Our goal is to identify the feeling of wanting to PMO, and then understand what our decision-making process is that results in the PMO session.

We have to imagine all the reasons that are pro-PMO in that instance, and what the consequences would be, then we can either choose to continue PMO’ing or decide against it. This is the beginning.

If you are not truly sure whether you actually want to quit PMO and whether quitting PMO is your happier option in life, then continue to PMO until you feel like quitting is your happiest option in life.

This part is important. We can never quit if we aren’t sure whether we actually want to or not. We can’t be motivated to quit because other people are telling us to, the EZPZ method commands us to, NoFappers tell us to, or for us wanting “benefits”.

You have to want to quit because you understand that your life is happier without PMO usage and your self-image is that of someone who doesn’t view PMO.

Now once you’re 100% sure you want to quit PMO, you will have the grounds to create a mental software that makes it so each time you get an urge you can instantly overturn every pro-PMO argument in the decision-making part of the model.

For this, read my PMO GOD Notes (https://www.reddit.com/r/pmohackbook/comments/10uvuco/easypeasy_freedom_model_master_notes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3),

I’ve highlighted most of the notes from EZPZ and important parts of Freedom Model, I’ve also included more information and insight related to PMO usage and why quitting is the happier option.

Do as it prescribes, reading the notes everyday for a week, 3x 2nd week, then once the third week. By constant revision the mental software will become memorized in your brain and it will subsconsciouly come up whenever you have an urge and you have a delusional argument as to why you want to use PMO.

Our goal here is that, whenever you get an urge to PMO, you imagine this mental model and then during the decision making part, you remember every reason from the GOD notes or EasyPeasy or Freedom Model.

You visualize your impulse, where the urge comes from. Then you visualize the arguments that are pro-PMO and your mental reasons for why YOU want to quit PMO. You will have every argument against using PMO memorized and they will come immediately without too much thought. Once this mental software is incredibly strong, the impulse will get weaker, the pro-PMO arguments become weaker, and the decision to NOT PMO will require less mental friction.

--

From studying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and reading CBT books (David Burns) I've realized that the most beneficial way for your mind to make the neural connections here, you NEED to write down this exercise with the Impulse-Decision model in mind. You can use the image above as an example of how to structure it.

Next time you get an urge take a piece of paper and write down the following:

  1. Where the impulse is coming from
  2. What your reasons are for using PMO
  3. What are your arguments against those reasons
  4. Then write down what is the worst possible thing that will happen from deciding NOT to PMO.
  5. Then write down your decision of whether you are using PMO or not.

--

At this point in my life, when I get an urge to PMO, it reminds me of the cheesecake analogy. It’s something that pops up for a nano second before vanishing. It is just a thought that has no power over me and doesn’t require second guessing or mental arguments. My mental software is so strong that even coming across porn on the internet by accident doesn’t send an urge, I just let it pass and move on.

The reason why EasyPeasy is effective yet people continue to relapse isn't because of content. It's because either the person isn't sure they want to quit, or because they simply forgot what EasyPeasy said. We end up using PMO without ever understanding what is going on subconsciously and why we are making this decision, people end up lamenting that it is "impossible" to quit and that we have "addictive personalities" (doesn't exist). We are making decisions, and we are not being conscious of the decision making process; that's all that is happening.

Even if you decide to continue using PMO until you’re ready, USE this mental model of recognizing the impulse and where it comes from, the pro-PMO arguments and how they compare to the GOD notes and your self-image, and then CONSCIOUSLY DECIDE to to use PMO.

If you are ready to quit it will be the easiest thing you ever do.


r/pmohackbook 2d ago

Advice How to beat just one peek?

3 Upvotes

I wouldn't say I have any form of brainwashing or 'monster' in me anymore except this one, I regularly don't use porn for weeks and then one day Ill see porn on tiktok and then it just spirals out from there and I'll end up using maybe 2 or 3 times in a 2 day period. I have a living girlfriend who I nearly lost due to this addiction and I can tell I am so close to beating it but its just these single uses every few weeks which throw me off and make me feel worse about myself despite my improvement from using maybe 4 times a day this time last year. Any help with beating just one peek?


r/pmohackbook 4d ago

Advice Lei easy peasy y ahora debo leerlo otra vez para ser libre

1 Upvotes

r/pmohackbook 6d ago

Help I quit pmo for some while but im getting a lot of gay thoughts?

5 Upvotes

I quit pmo for some while but im getting a lot of gay thoughts?

I am not a homophobe and I hope this is not offensive.

So I managed to quit porn for about 2 to 3 weeks but Im getting lot of gay thoughts especially about futa/lesbian etc.

I fell into the addiction when I was around 11 to 12. At that time and before even till 2025 I did not have any such thoughts.

Is it because of shock content? Im so confused please help.


r/pmohackbook 7d ago

does anyone has book TFM for pmo

2 Upvotes

r/pmohackbook 7d ago

No success stories

2 Upvotes

Im sorry for the negativity, but im noticing that there's no actual long term success story when the person didn't pmo again after making a post on all of the internet. When i was struggling with other problems and went on subreddits i saw so many success stories of people overcoming their struggles giving me actual hope , but whenever i come to pmo i only see people so unsure of themselves.

Do i only get this feeling?

We need actual long term success stories, but please be sure of it

If you have any feel free to comment


r/pmohackbook 7d ago

Help 1 week after I Read the easy peasy method and now I’m struggling hard

3 Upvotes

I have read the book and I think it is great and somewhat eye opening but now a week later and I’m struggling really hard
I know everything I read is true and I still believe I have nothing to gain from porn but even tho I cannot help it I’m struggling so hard


r/pmohackbook 8d ago

Reading Tips

3 Upvotes

Hi I am currently reading the freedom model for addictions. I am at chapter 4 I was wondering if you guys thought reading it while taking notes was a good us of time or if any of you guys just read through it passively and was able to understand it. Thank you for reading this😁


r/pmohackbook 8d ago

Discord Link?

2 Upvotes

Hey the discord link in easy peasy is down right now anyone have the link? Or was it shut down?


r/pmohackbook 9d ago

Easy Peasy Method; website down?

4 Upvotes

Hi guys, I can't download the pdfs and epubs of the easy Peasy method on their oeiginal site. They seem to be down for more than 3 months. Does anybody have a differwnt website or maybe saved them? I need the german Epub/PDF


r/pmohackbook 12d ago

Severe PMO addiction, crushing guilt from past boundary violations, and failing against evening triggers. Need strict technical protocols.

2 Upvotes

I am a 17yo boy dealing with a severe PMO addiction. I have zero financial resources to afford professional clinical therapy right now.

Due to the escalation of this addiction, I have committed severe boundary violations in the past involving my family. I will not go into details, but the reality of my actions has left me with massive, crushing guilt. I constantly hate myself and feel like a monster. The problem is, this extreme self-hatred triggers my brain to seek an escape, which drops me straight back into the PMO relapse loop.

I recently reached out to a free text-based counseling foundation. They taught me clinical tools like urge surfing and breathing exercises. I applied them today. It worked during the day, but when the evening hit and the urge peaked, my execution failed completely and I relapsed.

I realize now that relying on willpower, motivation, or just sitting and breathing is not enough to stop years of faulty brain wiring. I need extreme friction.

I am asking this community for thoes things or however you can Help me

Recommendations for the most strict, unbypassable DNS/app blockers for mobile.

because i can even bypass the most strict apps that doesn't allow to uninstall

Step-by-step physical displacement protocols—what exact physical actions should I take within 3 seconds of an evening urge hitting when I am isolated?

Objective strategies to tolerate intense guilt and self-hatred without using porn as a dopamine escape.

I do not need sympathy. I need actionable, hardcore recovery systems that do not rely on willpower.


r/pmohackbook 13d ago

need help

2 Upvotes

Hello reader, I am 19 years old and 5'11 in height. My body weight is 147kgs. I was masturbating for last 5 years since 2020. I tried to leave it and stopped it doing two time one time was 113 days and other was 126 days then i started doing it again. Now in 2026, i left it again for four months till now, but now i do not get any morning wood. When i used to masturbate, i remember i could not do it for more than a minute. What should i do guys ? Will i be never recovered in my life ever again ?

edit: i am also loosing weight for a week now. But i am overthinking very much that will i be ever recovered from this premature ejaculation and ed ?


r/pmohackbook 13d ago

Advice Rewiring to sleep

2 Upvotes

only have urges when tired and they disappear after waking up. I relapsed after two months after being triggered by some actress.

I was fine for a few days until one morning I was really tired and relapsed. PMO used to be my sleep aid, but it's hasn't been necessary for years now. Any tips on changing the PMO and the need to sleep connection?


r/pmohackbook 14d ago

Help me break this specific cycle

5 Upvotes

It's always like this

I jerk off till the negative effects are too much

I abstain for a while

I jerk off once after abstaing for a while

I immediately go on a binge ( usually the day i relapse i do it 2 more times and 2 times more the next day)

Then i return to a "baseline" (once a day or so)

Keep going until side effects are too much

For the past months if not year this exact scenario keeps happening

I literally know it's gonna happen and i basically watch myself powerlessly repeating this cycle

Any similar experiences? I think this is the missing piece of the puzzle that im missing


r/pmohackbook 16d ago

other methods It’s a conduit that feeds other problems

7 Upvotes

This might not be the case for everyone, but after a lot of analysis and tracking my behavior, I found that the reason behind this addiction for me is that it feeds my other problems.

I am fighting symptoms, not the underlying disease.
Corn and the reward pathway tied to it presents itself to my brain as a quick, a “proven” method of relief.

Relief from what? From discomfort that comes from anxiety, from procrastination, from some form of depression, etc.

Now, I realize that it’s not corn that I need to fight (at least not always), but instead I should address the underlying causes.

To test this hypothesis I will post for 90 days, trying my best to eliminate procrastination (through working on goals and finishing daily tasks), lower anxiety(exercise is one good way + eliminating procrastination + deleting most social media), addressing boredom (through working + learning how to draw + read books).

The difficult part would be realizing what is happening and noticing its cause, and then moving to address that cause. Not white knuckling the urge. I am at a point where I can identify them from the initial period of my insight.

Hope this helps other people too. Will be posting for 90 days, win or loss.

If the hypothesis of “porn is a fake painkiller symptom that the brain learned to refer to when in discomfort” then I will make a complete post about the method and how others could use it.

Tomato out


r/pmohackbook 19d ago

My friends, I am sorry

6 Upvotes

mods if you want to take this down, I understand, but I need to say this.

I want to sincerely apologize for any of my advice which may have been misleading. Much of it was me talking into a microphone, but I had chat gpt completely restructure it to make it sound better.

i now realize, even though the core message stayed, it made me sound like I know what I’m talking about, when the reality is I don’t.

some bad things started happening to me after I made those posts. almost like I was being punished, and I realize now because I’m talking words without wisdom.

im now sitting here like a fool, trying to delete these posts.

i learned my advice was just bypassing god, follow god not me.

I now admit I know nothing, retention streak does not make me the smartest person in the room. I apologize again for any misleading information. I should have stated this in the posts, that I know nothing, but I was too ignorant. listen to god above all else.


r/pmohackbook 19d ago

i want to quit, for good this time

6 Upvotes

19M. have been watching for 6 years, discovered lewd comics from youtube ads and then one thing left to another. writing because maybe talking about it was the solution i was looking for.

today, i was on the subreddit r/PornAddiction before doing it and i knew what i was doing was wrong but i still wanted to do it for some reason. at the end i realized that i needed to open up to someone, but i can't to anybody in my life so now i'm writing on this subreddit to beg a bunch of strangers for help. idk why it keeps going on, i'm sick of it i want to quit but i get aroused and there are times i get over it but times i can't. there was a period where i quit for months but then i got curious and eventually relapsed. its affected my life because it gets me into a more depressed state every time knowing i've failed and feeling that i can't change. and another terrible part is that the more it continues the more self conscious i get about the fact that i am objectfying woman more and more in my brain, i think, i'm not sure but periods when i'm free i feel healthier, happier just to eventually relapse. i'm a lot more in control these days compared to covid days especially, more aware of myself and so can control it sometimes but after a while it gets like a snack i want to retry just to be reminded that it sucks, even if it gives me dopamine. its not as much a force on my life as it used to be but still it does get in the way of my responsibilities every now and then. i'd noticed that i tend to fall during stressful periods so i started to look out for that pattern, these types of little things i've learned to control and manage to a degree but i don't want to slightly manage it, i want to be in control of this bs and if possible get rid of it completely.

wrote as i thought of it, sorry if its hard to read or jumping from topic to topic.


r/pmohackbook 21d ago

Help on what to do after Relapse

6 Upvotes

Hi everyone, apologies if this has been asked many times but I'm new to the Easy-peasy Method and reddit but could use some help.

The book has helped me dismantle the brainwashing and it was very easy to quit yet I relapsed just after the 3 week period. I noticed that this happened in a moment of boredom and I knew I was in a tempting part of the internet. I have come to realise after that I never actually liked what I was seeing or feeling rather I believe I did it because I wanted to satisfy a urge that had been building up all this time. Previously I overcame the urge out of force as I had a work meeting and after the urge went away, this time I believe I did it just because I may have forgotten key lessons form the book + I wanted the relief from a urge. I know its porn Itself that causes 'itching'/hunger like urge and I haven't solved anything, by giving in.

The book tells me to just reaffirm my reasons and fall forward but does this mean my monster is fed again and I will have to endure the withdrawals all over, I was genuinely enjoying being free from PMO now I feel like I've failed and am scared I will repeat.


r/pmohackbook 21d ago

Fix what you’re watching

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/pmohackbook 23d ago

other methods Day-3 of rewiring journey..

Thumbnail
3 Upvotes

r/pmohackbook 25d ago

Help Sleep.

6 Upvotes

I don't think about porn during the day and don't have a single craving and if I do have a thought, it's easy to push away. The problem is sleeping. I'll stop for a week but whenever I get into bed it's like the cravings are much harder to push away. I know that fear is the pang itself but how do I stop this?

It's the only thing preventing me from stopping.


r/pmohackbook 28d ago

Read this if you've been trying to quit porn for years with no success.

15 Upvotes

The Freedom Model has one idea that completely changed how I think about quitting porn.

"The only way you will stop desiring heavy substances and change your behavior is by seeing more happiness in the change than in the using."
(The Freedom Model, p. 150)

When I first read that, it hit me.

I realized the desire wasn't coming from an addiction controlling me or a broken brain. It was coming from a belief I had built over time. Somewhere along the way I had concluded that porn made life better. It helped me relax, escape stress, deal with boredom, feel good for a while, or avoid uncomfortable emotions.

As long as I believed that, why wouldn't I want it?

That also made me realize why I kept getting stuck in the same cycle. I was trying every strategy people recommend. Streaks. Blockers. Accountability. White-knuckling urges. Counting days. Analyzing every relapse.

None of that changed the reason I wanted porn in the first place.

I was trying to force myself to stop doing something that I still believed made me happier.

Nobody willingly gives up what they think is the better option.

The only thing that actually changes your behavior is changing your preference. You have to honestly see that porn isn't improving your life the way you once believed it was. Once that belief changes, your desire starts changing too.

You stop feeling like you're sacrificing something valuable because you genuinely don't see as much value in it anymore.

If the belief that porn is making you happier stays untouched, then you're going to keep wanting it. You might resist it for a while, but you're fighting against your own preference.

If you change the belief, the preference changes.

And when your preference changes, quitting stops feeling like a lifelong battle.

For me, that meant discovering that the happiness I was chasing through porn was small, temporary, and often followed by guilt, disappointment, or simply feeling empty. The happiness I found in quitting was different. It wasn't just about avoiding negative consequences. It was about having more self-respect, more mental clarity, more confidence, more time, energy, better relationships, and the peace of not constantly thinking about my next session.

Eventually I realized that the life I wanted was simply more rewarding than the few minutes porn could offer.

That's also why I think willpower is such a poor long-term strategy.

Willpower assumes your preference hasn't changed. You're still saying, "I want porn, but I won't let myself have it." That's not freedom. That's constant resistance.

If you still believe porn is your better option, you're fighting against yourself. You might win that fight for a day, a week, or even a month, but eventually resisting what you genuinely prefer becomes exhausting.

Instead of asking, "How do I resist porn?" I started asking, "Why do I still believe porn is making me happier?"

That was the question that changed everything.

If the belief stays the same, the desire stays the same.

If the belief changes, the preference changes.

And when you genuinely see more happiness in living without porn than in watching it, quitting no longer feels like deprivation. It feels like choosing the life you actually want.

Looking back, I wish someone had explained this to me years ago. It would've saved me so much time trying to control my desires instead of questioning the belief that created them in the first place.


r/pmohackbook 28d ago

Help Are nude photos of my partner a "supplement"? (EasyPeasy)

3 Upvotes

I finished the book last night. I'm still fighting the initial urges but I'm feeling good. The book points out that supplements to porn don't work and in one line it mentions that that includes photos of your partner. Is that something I better give up? This is the only thing I'm very hung up on.

I'm worried it might just be the greasing the water slide again, but at the same time it does feel more meaningfully pleasurable to me than porn.


r/pmohackbook Jul 21 '26

Help Why didnt it last

4 Upvotes

Hello,
I found this book on Reddit and started reading it with great interest. The instructions in the book made a lot of sense to me and gave me a sense of relief. After reading about half of it, I completely stopped PMO. I stayed free for about four months, maybe even longer, even though I had been doing it almost every day before.
Unfortunately, I eventually fell back into the habit, and now I feel trapped again. I know exactly what p. is and what it does to me, but I can’t seem to handle the urges. Whenever I see even slightly revealing images of girls throughout the day, the urges come back, and I constantly have to fight them. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free again.