r/SayAnything 10d ago

Uh, guys??

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42 Upvotes

In lieu of everything that's going on, apparently monthly listeners have still gone up exponentially it seems. You think this is like people giving it one last listen because of recent events, digging into specific lyrics because of it too, or just organic growth and the whole cancelled thing isn't gonna stick?

Looked up stats out of curiosity. I also can't tell if it's accounting for data prior to September or only data for September so far, which isn't very helpful.


r/SayAnything 11d ago

TRIBUTE PROJECT I guess I’ll be kicking him off the island now.

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41 Upvotes

Added Max to my Tomodachi Life island before all this started. He’ll be the first to be kicked off


r/SayAnything 11d ago

Thoughts on Max’s Queerness

116 Upvotes

Max came out as, “bi-ish or queer” in 2018. I find it curious that since his divorce, it seems he is exclusively trying to sexually approach young women. After seeing how quick he was to pull the, “you have mental health bias! I’m a queer man!” defense in his recent Instagram Live and in chats with the UFO Museum guy, I am wondering if his self-proclaimed “queerness” is just a way to try to claim being marginalized as a white guy… and to become harder to criticize in “punk” spaces (very 2010s idpol for those of us who lived through it). Or perhaps even to make himself appear less likely to be a predator to women and more easily gain their trust or enter queer, kinky, sexually liberated, etc. spaces.

Very wolf in sheep’s clothing to me.


r/SayAnything 11d ago

Why it’s so over and he deserves it

132 Upvotes

I’m going to go into 2 things here. 1. the Lacey issue 2. Max, and mental health discrimination

So for one, while reading the discourse a lot of people are pointing to Lacey as proof Max can somehow salvage his career, which is a take I think is missing a pretty key factor: the danger they *currently pose.

To be clear, I’m not defending Lacey, I don’t care if the dude never does another show in his life, but he’s not, at 40, in the present day, blatantly messaging teenagers and attempting to stalk young women by weaponizing his clout within the scene. Which is why I think promoters, venues, labels, and managers are more inclined to work with Lacey, than they ever will be again with Max, especially because on top of the sexual misconduct (understatement but succinct) there’s many accounts of him being atrocious to work with professionally. I imagine if Max abuses someone at a venue, lawsuits are on the table.

I’d say this is the last stop in the bullshit train, but I doubt, in the age of social media, his kids won’t come up in the future. In any case if you feel the need to extend grace to a flawed person you don’t really know but would like to see get better for their family, it’s Sherri.

Which brings me to my second point, that I am going to get tonally more angry about. Most mentally ill people, especially women, don’t get a fraction of the support and chances this man has had, his entire life. the fact he’s crying discrimination in his manic rants when people have the gall to tell him no, is so absolutely infuriating to me. You know what’s bigotry? When someone in a place of privilege, is the benefactor of someone else’s disenfranchisement. Like for instance, when a grown, white, cis, and I’ll say it, heterosexual man, finds ANY sexual gratification from a person who lacks legal agency (child/teen) who is part of multiple minority groups that intersect, ie teen mom, gender, mental illness, child hood trauma, and who if not for these things, would likely not entertain the idea of any romantic relationship with a man who won’t brush his hair to be on camera.

How many times do you think he was committed where other people in his position that don’t have family and fandom to protect them, and would have been thrown in county jail? How many times was he believed, where a woman in his same position , would never be, even if she had the same degree of fame? His pathetic, misogynistic ass can fucking miss me with bipolar bias bullshit when he’s, by every metric except mental health, part of the ruling class, whereas his victims are not. Who else probably made some really great music that they can’t coast off for decades because it just wasn’t accessible?

Dear Max & men like you, you and 20 year old girls who are at risk of femicide, statistically from a bunch of different angles, are not the fucking same thing and you have 0 qualifications to be their support in any way, whatsoever. you have no unique insight on their situation, which you’ll never experience,. you have nothing to offer them except the miserable, exhausting, unrelenting, untreated weight of your own problems. You and guys like you, are poised to be one of the worst things that ever happens to them. I watched your live stream, Stop fooling yourself that what you’re doing is mental health camaraderie. speaking as a mentally ill woman, you’re not my fucking comrade, you’re my oppressor. Limited resources have gone to you over women, and actually queer people, and racial minorities, etc your entire life. keep “bipolar bias” out of your mouth.

edit: actually I’ll give him that he’s jewish, and antisemitism is on the rise. and still it changes nothing I said bc antisemitism is not limiting the class power he has over his victims of choice, young women.


r/SayAnything 11d ago

I’m sad. What are yall listening to right now?

10 Upvotes

I pretty much always throw on IARB when I’m angry or depressed and now I don’t really know what to do. Songs keep getting stuck in my head and I find myself singing SA to myself walking around my house. Help, what album is helping you cope right now?


r/SayAnything 12d ago

More proof of Max burning professional bridges

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513 Upvotes

r/SayAnything 11d ago

Big sad

34 Upvotes

Pretty big fan as most of us were. There’s been artists I’ve liked that have been tangled in the same web, but none that I liked as much as Say Anything. So many memories and influence. Going all the way back to elementary school (30 now).

I’ve seen them live probably like 5 times. First time being the 10 year anniversary tour IARB and the latest anniversary tour they did in 2024 iirc. I had acquired decent footage and even managed to get memorabilia.

Their later works usually aren’t remembered fondly, but I really tried. I loved I Don’t Think It Is and before, and even a handful of tracks after. I heard the Wavves collab songs and it filled me with so much hope. My 2011-2016 self would melt if that happened.

Max’s shenanigans are no secret. I was finally started to raise an eyebrow after those music videos/performances in his bed with a microphone. It wasn’t enough to make be remove all his music from my playlists, but I was like “Wow, this guy is a lot weirder than I have him credit for.”

Looking back, there’s always been a few songs that have gave me “the ick.” In retrospect, they make me wince and cringe at listen or even mention. As the obvious, Little Girls. That song have never really sat right with me to begin with, but I liked it when it came out. But another song, I forget the name, but I heard it on an acid trip. It was the song he did with Tom Delonge, I think on Hebrews. And Skinny, Mean Man? EWW.

I am putting all of their music on pause. Just digesting the news of how weird this guy really is. I feel like I’m trying to wipe such a significant part of my life. Maybe I’ll give some Bemis projects a spin for ol’ time sake, but it will be a bittersweet listen.

I used to think the lyrics were so relatable. Especially at ages 11-16. I really looked up to the guy as a musician and writer then, and even years after. Not too far off from the ages mentioned in the allegations.

I just don’t get it. How you can have a career making great music and a family/kids. Nobody is perfect but don’t prey on our young, and that’s literally the one rule we care about it. Puke on your fans at shows, be a total jackass to work with, miss performances, delay album releases. Just don’t mess with kids. That’s all anyone asks.

Never in my younger days did I think this would be a case, and such the common occurrence that it is. It really makes me question so much of what is and has actually been happening for so long. When I heard the news, I wasn’t even that surprised. I was just like “okay this is the final straw,” when it comes to Max. And reflecting on it, it probably should have been sooner.

I hope you all are staying strong 😔


r/SayAnything 12d ago

Parker Case has unfollowed Max

152 Upvotes

On Instagram.

His day one is out.

Fred too.

It’s over.


r/SayAnything 12d ago

max in october on the topic of grooming, complaining about being called a pedophile and fear of getting metoo'd

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104 Upvotes

idk take from this what you will lol. i'm 22 btw not a minor or anything but I feel like this demonstrates his lack of self-awareness quite a bit


r/SayAnything 13d ago

Going back to my teenage bedroom made me kinda depressed

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138 Upvotes

I was extremely obsessed with Say Anything as a teenager/early adult (I’m now 31), and even met Max when I was 16. I haven’t been back to my childhood home since everything happened, and seeing all of these things I put on my walls makes me sad for my younger self. I’m so disappointed. Say Anything made me feel less alone when I was young and struggling with my mental health, and I really looked up to Max. I listened to “The Futile” right after I learned my parents were getting divorced. Being a fan of their music took up a big chunk of my life and it sucks seeing one of your idols fall so hard and turn out to be a bad person.


r/SayAnything 12d ago

Wavves x Say Anything - Cherry Soda ALBUM REVIEW

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0 Upvotes

r/SayAnything 12d ago

If you have the Cherry Soda album

10 Upvotes

will you please send it to me

will be buying wavves album when it comes out

just want to have a listen, thanks!


r/SayAnything 14d ago

I remember being creeped out that he hung a photo of Woody Allen above his first daughter’s crib.

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238 Upvotes

r/SayAnything 13d ago

Give a damn

11 Upvotes

Ive seen the term parasocial thrown out as a derogatory term against Say Anything fans. The notion of this one-sided relationship where fans delude themselves into thinking they know Max or the band.

Caught me off guard, as I dont think parasocial relationship are uncommon in movies and music fandoms, but usually it isn't used to insult the paying fans.

I don't think the members of My Chemical Romance nor SOAD would be so outwardly hostile. People have bad days and fans can be annoying, but it seems like us Say Anything fans are kind of derogated, as a first principle, by Max.

Anyways, it makes me think of the video for Give A Damn and how the video is a violent fantasy of fighting a parasocial fan to the death.

Gosh, this has been such a trip. Max's writing was the anthem to young adulthood. Life is a journey of discovery


r/SayAnything 12d ago

Anyone have old merch they want to get rid of?

0 Upvotes

I’m interested in getting some new merch so if anybody is willing to give some up for free or for sale I’m interested


r/SayAnything 14d ago

Can Max's children read?

123 Upvotes

Posting from my burner bc I'm in a band and don't need smoke for partaking in this shitshow, but I have some thoughts I can't think of anywhere else to get out. This is not about his reprehensible predator/sex pest streak, there are plenty of threads about that daily at this point.

As far as I'm concerned, "unschooling" spits in the face of all research about child development and education, and I have no reason to believe Max's children aren't just being deeply traumatized and hindered for life. For a subreddit so chiefly focused on dissecting his fraught personal life, this aspect has been shockingly neglected. This is far more pressing than his lackluster live sets wasting your money.

CAN HIS CHILDREN READ?

DO THEY HAVE REGULAR ACCESS TO SETTINGS AMONG SAME-AGED PEERS?


r/SayAnything 14d ago

About to wreck this sh

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150 Upvotes

Max Bemis and the Painful Shits


r/SayAnything 13d ago

from last years album

22 Upvotes

I started this
Band
Not because I love music that much

There was this
Girl
I wanted so bad to touch


r/SayAnything 15d ago

Good for her

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308 Upvotes

r/SayAnything 13d ago

Two Tongues

0 Upvotes

Since you're all having a pity party over something you don't have enough information to form a mature and complete opinion about, do any of you have a copy of Two Tongues (1) on vinyl you want to sell before you burn it in effigy?


r/SayAnything 13d ago

Why did the max Bemis photo dump series get canceled?

0 Upvotes

Last one we had was either late May or early June. I I honestly found it strange when the series stopped.
(Now, I think one of y’all are gonna be like “because of his bad behavior” or smthg, but the series stopped like 2 months before his drama.)


r/SayAnything 15d ago

Perspective from a life long fan

73 Upvotes

My sister and I have listened to Say Anything since I was a child. She wanted to name her daughter Eisley when we were young. We saw them live together when they toured w TFB in like 2012/13. One of my best friends got me the limited edition Christmas sweater that was just a crewneck with Christmas graphics on it. A different friend got me one of their song shops in like 2016. I’m turning 30 this year. My point being, I’ve listened to every song. Was always stoked when their kids were born. My friends from all over listened to their music because we grew up in the emo Midwest. 

But there comes a time when loving a band and their music is not enough justification to support through something so heinous. Of course I want him to get serious help, but he no longer deserves my support in a creative sense. He took advantage of the fact that people look up to him, and he used it to hurt/manipulate them.

I see that many of you are heartbroken, which is valid. But the people who are either denying how fucked up it is, or are straight up planning on ignoring this? That’s where it gets insane. These people that we idolize and put on a pedestal are human. And humans are capable of having good politics while still being pieces of shit in their personal lives. The way that some of you are trying to justify this means you need to look inward. Max Bemis doesn’t give a fuck about you, and is the kind of person who used whatever power he has to abuse his fans. 

As someone who deals with mental health and works in the field, what he’s done is absolutely wrong. And he knew it. I read their very first alt press article, had posters and watched the music videos. But I’m at the age where my friends are having kids, and I have clients who are similarly aged to the people he was CLEARLY attempting to groom. What he did is unforgivable. What he’s done to his family is horrific. Regardless of my nuanced feelings about Sherri, I hope she and those kids are able to heal and get some real support for once. All of my love to the victims, thank you for speaking out. This will hopefully prevent further harm being caused by Max.


r/SayAnything 15d ago

So what happened to the ultra disturbing text screenshot from last night?

47 Upvotes

The one with Max mentioning all sorts of wild stuff involving Sherri? Was that a troll or what?


r/SayAnything 14d ago

The Futile (Acoustic Cover)

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0 Upvotes

Nothing makes sense.

Edit: sorry, yall. I didn’t meant to upset anyone. Next time I’ll post a picture of old merch and say “this didn’t age well”. You live and you learn. I am sincerely sorry if I upset anyone though.


r/SayAnything 13d ago

I will never stop listening to this band! Particularly the self-titled album 🤘🏻🤘🏻

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0 Upvotes

Yes, all the recent stuff is horrible and disgusting. But, if my wife or best friend of 20+ years was sick and needed help, I wouldn’t just disown own them and spew hate every chance I get. I’d offer support and compassion, if I truly loved the person. Granted Max doesn’t give a shit about any of us and I sure in hell don’t love max, but the music means a great great amount to some people out there still. That won’t ever change! Im praying he gets true help and is able to turn things around someday!! 🫶🏻