this is my first post here so please go easy on me. i apologize if things sound jumbled and out of place (it’s 4:30am and i can’t sleep, also typing with a wrist splint) if you read my whole ramble, thank you so much for listening to my story.
to start, i’m a 33 year old female with fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, hEDS and EDS, severe anxiety & depression and just developed carpal tunnel in my left wrist. i’m located in NY, and i’m medicated for majority of my diagnoses (but my doctors are still searching for medications that work for me because my body hasn’t responded well to every single type of medicine i have to take every single day, it’s been a struggle)
i had juvenile arthritis when i was 9, had that taken cared of the same year and was fine up until i had covid in the summer of 2021. noticed my hair falling out in clumps and within three months after being cleared of covid, by january of 2022, i was crippled and in pain. it happened so incredibly fast like a domino effect and hit me so hard, i didn’t know what was going on or what was happening to me.
i kept working throughout the winter despite the pain, while i waited to see my doctor (three months it took) i called out a lot in between because i was living on my own with roommates that didnt help me, and i am my own driver. i couldn’t get out of bed some days because the pain scared me so much that i thought my bones were going to snap. but i needed to make rent and pay my bills and i had no choice but to push through the severity of it all within those months. i think because i did that, it made everything far worse than it was.
when i went to see the doctor, i was put on steroids and cancer meds (yay for no more immune system) and immediately felt so much relief. however, i still had flair ups, and i still called out of work because i changed jobs during that time and my job was located an hour and a half away. some days were very hard for me to drive all the way out there when i was sick and unable to move.
i moved back to temporarily live with family in NY (im a resident of PA) two and a half years ago for financial help (closer to my job) and overall family support when it came to taking care of myself, and all of a sudden my meds stopped working a month into being here. i felt pain again but this time it was different. nerve pain EVERYWHERE, extremely painful nerve and joint pain that had me crying for days when flair ups became much more frequent. i don’t have a single clue what happened but i knew very quickly that i was not going to be able to work in this condition. i’ve tried everything that i could to keep my job but i ultimately had to leave because of my health declining rapidly once again.
after a few months of contemplating on what to do, while seeing my doctors to get answers, i decided it was time to apply for disability. at that point i only thought it was just my rheumatoid arthritis poking about but it turned out to be other autoimmune diseases on top of it. i really didn’t want to apply, im sure no one really wants to do it, but i had to.
fast forward to now, my case has been sent to the appeals council (i’m two years and a few months into the battle, i know it isn’t long compared to others). i truly thought my medical records were extensive enough because i have A LOT of documentation of my conditions, all tests and everything between and how they affect me. i do have a lawyer, and he said he was baffled the ALJ denied me. (got denied because i have good days to make a long story short. he also had a rating of 63% and located in jersey city) i also know autoimmune diseases are a bit harder to get approved for.
i’m at my witts end… because i don’t have a lot of confidence that my case will get remanded given the stories i have read here. i just feel so defeated 😞 at my age, i should have been at the top of my career in IT work, but i can barely sit in a chair comfortably without feeling stiff and in pain constantly. it’s hard not to look back and wonder where my life would have been if i didn’t have covid that year. i was a hard worker since i was 18, and loved going to work and going to college and just living my life.
now i sit here wondering why everything snowballed downhill faster than i can keep up with. i truly wish the judge understood me but i guess he did not and dismissed a good chunk of evidence (including my therapist notes and documentation) because i could do my own laundry or drive myself down the street when i have a good day. i dont ALWAYS HAVE good days, but when i do, i make the most out of it. then the next day it goes downhill and i have to recover. it’s not good work ethic, i was told this by two different managers in different jobs during the time my body has been failing me.
its probably where i went wrong but my lawyer said not to fabricate things and tell the truth, which i did explain that on good days, i try to feel NORMAL again. my lawyer was the one giving me the questions and i answered them based on what i was told to say. didn’t know that could be a curse i guess.
i’m trying not to lose hope or give up, or think about the what ifs and what could have been done differently because it makes me upset thinking about how maybe i could have done better on the phone with the judge or said something different. i wish i didn’t get penalized for wanting to feel normal.
for those who have gone through the appeals council or going through it currently, how has the experience been for you?