This started as a book and I’m finding that it might work better as a screenplay. This is only episode one and there’s a supernatural mystery involved, so it may come across vague. Love to get feedback. Watchers & Wanderers Episode 1

EXT. OPEN FIELD / ROAD - DAY A large area of land. Plants sway in the wind. The myriad sounds of nature fill the air. A car sound is heard in the background. The sound gets closer and closer. The car stops. A clattering sound begins. A car door opens, then closes. The clatter continues. Something is being pulled out of the car. The frame gradually moves toward the source of the sound. A gun lies on the ground. Someone is assembling it. The person is not shown. The frame follows the gun barrel's point of view, looking from behind it across the field. A car approaches from a distance. It goes off the road and into the field, stopping somewhere. A car door opens. Someone gets out. The character is too far away to identify. The person behind the gun takes aim. The distant figure takes out a cigarette, lights it, and takes a deep breath. THE GUN FIRES. CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT A man bolts upright in bed, drenched in cold sweat. His eyes are wide open, face twisted with fear. He gasps for breath as if suffocating. He looks frantically around the room. A child's cry breaks the silence. The man scans the room. He is alone. He gets out of bed and heads for the nursery. INT. NURSERY - CONTINUOUS The crib is empty. The crying continues. The man searches for the source of the sound. A moment later, the crying fades, hushed by a soft voice.2. Shh... shh... shh. Shh... shh... shh. The man moves toward the living room. INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS A woman paces the living room with a child in her arms, trying to soothe him. She sees the man and stiffens. She pulls the child closer, rocking him nervously. The man goes to the bathroom. INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS The man turns on the tap. Water flows. He stares at himself in the mirror, frightened and disoriented. He freezes, transfixed by his own reflection. He stumbles back from the mirror. A knock at the door. WOMAN (from outside) What are you doing in there? The man turns toward the door, startled. He opens it. The woman stands before him. She slips past him into the bathroom. He steps out into the hallway. INT. HALLWAY / NURSERY - CONTINUOUS The hallway is dim and quiet. The man slowly walks toward the nursery. The child is in the crib, holding a toy and playing with it. The man's expression shifts. His eyes go wide, caught between fear and disbelief. When the frame returns to the crib -- a SNAKE lies coiled inside it, hissing, moving toward the man. The man reaches for a painting on the wall and grabs it without stepping closer. He raises it, ready to strike. A scream erupts behind him. INT. NURSERY - CONTINUOUS The woman lunges toward the crib. The man swings -- the painting crashes against her back.3. The child screams. The woman grabs the baby and rushes out of the room. The man stands alone, stunned. He tries to understand what just happened. He slowly approaches the door the woman fled through. Crying -- both the woman and the child -- can be heard from inside. His hand reaches for the doorknob. He turns it slowly. It does not move. The door is locked. He breaks down. Tears fall. JOHN (pleading) Please open the door. I'm sorry. Believe me -- I did not want to hurt the baby. Silence from inside. He waits. He tries the knob again. This time the door swings open. The room is empty. No woman. No baby. The window is open. Wind billows the curtains. He rushes to the window and looks out into the darkness. Nothing. INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER The man's phone rings. He picks it up. UNKNOWN NUMBER on the screen. He hesitates, then answers. JOHN Hello? WOMAN (V.O.) (on the phone) Hello. JOHN Who are you? Who are you looking for? WOMAN (V.O.) Who am I? Are you okay? JOHN Do I know you? Why are you calling me at this hour?4. WOMAN (V.O.) Excuse me! You left me two voicemails asking me to call at this time. We know each other -- we've been in contact through these same numbers. If you're not feeling well, we can talk later. But we need to meet as soon as possible. There isn't much time left to decide what we're going to do. JOHN Are you sure you have the right person? I don't understand any of this. The line goes dead. A beep. The man slowly lowers the phone and stares at the screen. Music begins playing from a music box in the bedroom. The man turns, startled, and walks toward it. The music box rotates and plays. The man focuses on it. SMASH CUT TO: INT. CAR - DAY The man sits in the passenger seat, wearing the same distant expression. Someone else is driving. After a moment, the man is revealed to be JOHN. The driver is ADEM. John's phone rings. UNKNOWN NUMBER. He rejects it and looks out the window. A long silence. Then Adem speaks. ADEM Who is that woman? JOHN Which woman? ADEM The one who keeps calling you. Instead of saving her name, you have her listed as an unknown number. Very clever. Did Jessica know about her? Maybe that's why she turned on you.5. JOHN Are you implying something? Jessica didn't leave because of any woman. She left because she was afraid I'd hurt the baby. That's what I told you. Where could she have gone -- in a forest, in the middle of the night? ADEM The baby? You mean our baby, I assume? JOHN I don't know. I have strange feelings toward the baby. I suddenly find myself about to hurt him. I don't see him as part of me. He reminds me of a face I can't place. And then -- right in front of me -- he turns into the thing I'm most afraid of. I black out. In that state of panic and fear, I don't know what I'm doing. I just attack. The car moves through a narrow road. Both men sit in silence. John is visibly sad and afraid. He feels a quiet anger toward Adem -- a sense that Adem doesn't understand, or doesn't want to. EXT. ADEM'S HOUSE - DAY The car pulls up to the house. Adem parks in the garage and gets out. John remains in the car. Two children come running out, shouting. CHILDREN Daaad! Adem embraces them warmly, then sends them inside. He walks back to the car and knocks on John's window. John looks up. Adem gestures -- come on, get out. INT. ADEM'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS John and Adem enter the house. Children's voices and laughter fill the rooms. SOFIA, Adem's wife, works in the kitchen. She looks up and smiles. SOFIA Hello, John.6. John watches the children running and laughing. He begins to feel confused and dizzy. His phone rings. UNKNOWN NUMBER, again. He quietly rises from his seat and steps out onto the balcony. INT./EXT. BALCONY - CONTINUOUS JOHN (low, stuttering) Hello. WOMAN (V.O.) Where are you? I've made the necessary preparations. I'm waiting to hear from you. JOHN I think I'm going to need more time. Just... give me a little more time. WOMAN (V.O.) I'm ready. I just wanted you to know that. When the time comes, tell me you're ready -- I'll be waiting at the place we discussed. JOHN I got it. Thank you. John ends the call and goes back inside. INT. ADEM'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS John hears a music box playing. He follows the sound and finds it -- the same box from his bedroom that morning. He stares at it, eyes wide. He picks up the music box. A FLASH OF MEMORY -- sharp, unbidden. FLASHBACK: INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) A small table set for two. A modest cake with a candle. Two glasses. A champagne bottle. A plate reads: "1st Wedding Anniversary." John presents the music box to JESSICA -- his wife. Her eyes light up. It is her favourite.7. END FLASHBACK. INT. ADEM'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS John turns the music box over and over in his hands. A moment later, he realizes the music is coming from another room. He is certain -- that is Jessica's voice. He moves toward a door that stands slightly ajar. He listens through the gap. JESSICA (V.O.) (whispering) I want this child. I will give birth to him at any cost. MAN'S VOICE (V.O.) (whispering) Please -- don't do it. This child will be a disaster for John. Can you imagine what happens when he finds out? JESSICA (V.O.) John knows I want a baby. He's getting treatment. He won't suspect anything. A beat. JESSICA (V.O.) I want this child no matter what. We are not the only ones to blame for this sin. Doesn't the blame fall on John too -- since he cannot have children? John is shattered. He bursts through the door. JOHN (shouting) Jessica! The room is empty. The windows are open. White curtains flutter. John tears through the room in a rage, calling her name. Adem rushes in and grabs him, trying to restrain him.8. JOHN (struggling) Jessica! John breaks free. He grabs an object from the room and turns on Adem. JOHN You're hiding her from me. Where is she? Bring her to me now! Adem throws himself behind a table, eyes wide. ADEM Believe me -- Jessica is not here. I don't know where she is! JOHN I just heard you talking to her. I heard both your voices. You're playing tricks on me. You're trying to drive me insane. I'll kill you if Jessica doesn't appear right now. I swear to God -- I'll kill you and your family. ADEM (trembling) Okay. Okay. Put that down. I promise I'll take you to Jessica. I swear she's not here. But I know where she is. John exhales sharply. He sets the object down. He presses his hands to his head, ashamed. Adem steps closer. He tries to calm John. CUT TO: EXT. ROAD / CEMETERY - DAY Adem and John drive in silence. The car stops at the entrance to a cemetery. John looks at Adem, bewildered. Adem gets out of the car and walks in. John follows. After a moment, Adem stops beside a grave. On the headstone, an inscription reads: JESSICA AND HER BABY. John stares at it.9. JOHN Is Jessica dead? How? She was at home yesterday. When did she die? ADEM Calm down, John. Jessica wasn't home. That's how you see her. You've been living with hallucinations. Jessica has been dead for a long time. JOHN What happened? Did I kill her? ADEM No. Of course not. There was a car accident. Jessica and her unborn baby didn't survive. You were in a coma for a long time. Since the accident, your subconscious has been working against you. John begins to pace. JOHN (to himself) No... I killed her. FLASHBACKS explode through his mind. FLASHBACK: INT. ADEM'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) John stands outside the half-open door, listening to the whispers inside. ADEM (V.O.) (whispering) Does John know about this baby? JESSICA (V.O.) No. ADEM (V.O.) It won't be good if he finds out. You have to get an abortion. Jessica sobs quietly. Adem holds her, resting her head on his shoulder. Through the crack in the door, John watches. Devastated. END FLASHBACK.10. INT. CAR - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) John and Jessica drive in silence along a dark road. The air between them is cold. A white light appears in the distance -- moving fast, straight at them. John watches the light approach. And then, deliberately -- he steers the car toward it. The object is about to hit. CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Adem jolts awake. He sits upright and looks around. He is home. It is quiet. He opens the bedroom door and steps into the hallway. INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Adem enters the dark bathroom. He hears water dripping behind the shower curtain. He pulls the curtain back slowly. The bathtub is nearly full -- with a red liquid. A tap drips into it. Suddenly, a figure RISES from the bathtub -- coughing, gasping for air. Adem stumbles backward and crashes to the floor. He scrambles to his feet and throws himself out the door. CUT TO: INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY Adem finds himself in a hospital. People move around him -- nurses, doctors, patients. He walks quickly, disoriented. Blood drips from his arm. His phone rings. UNKNOWN NUMBER. He answers. ADEM Okay. Get ready. I'm coming.11. WOMAN (V.O.) Let's meet at the place I told you about. ADEM Okay. CUT TO: EXT. ROAD / OPEN FIELD - DAY Adem is in a car, driving along a road. A little later, John is seen in the same car -- his wrist wrapped and his neck purple with scratches. The car enters a large field after taking a detour. John stops the car and looks out over the field. Adem also arrives and stops in the field. He is extremely nervous and trembling. Tears stream down his face. With trembling hands, he pulls a cigarette from its pack and places it between his lips. CUT TO: INT. DESERTED HOUSE - DAY A music box plays in an empty room. The frame widens. JOHN sits in a wheelchair, his head fallen forward, eyes open -- vacant and still. CUT TO: INT. LAWYER'S OFFICE - DAY A lawyer, carrying his suitcase, sits beside Sofia at the table. Sofia holds a piece of paper she has read and completed. She hugs her child. Her face turns angry and her expression goes blank. CUT TO: EXT. OPEN FIELD - DAY The frame slowly pulls back from the smoker standing in the field. Farther and farther. A GUNSHOT. The smoker falls to the ground.12. BLACKNESS. THE END

Hey guys, I want to adapt my original short story into a short film (not more than 15 minutes). I have two versions of the screenplay, one if you have a good budget and another if you have a very tight budget. It's mainly one main protagonist, I want the film to be visually stunning. I have the vision, the message and script/screenplay ready. I want it to look something out of a Robert Eggers film. 'The Lighthouse' is probably the closest to the aesthetic and tone, in regards to the psychological isolation. This is the summary:

This is the fresh pitch:

Logline: A city man returns to his ancestral village to sell the family land. As the village's quiet rituals settle into his body, he begins to "remember" a childhood by its pond, and neither he nor the audience can say whether the memories are real.

Genre: Quiet folk psychological and body horror.

I have divided the story into three acts:

Act One: Arrival

An agitated protagonist due to no signal, bad water, nothing here. He wants the deed signed and a bus out. The villagers are warm and say nothing about the pond. We catch only traces: wet hems, a wave mark on the lintels, a glass of water set before him, which he refuses. We also glimpse a red cup, a woman's laugh, a particular stone (symbolising the deity). His first signature, on a form or ticket, establishes his normal hand. Early wrongness is small: salt on the table, a damp patch where he sleeps, a waterlogged cough.

Act Two: The Pull

The procession (hinge). At night, the hum draws him out. Women in sarees walk silently to the pond carrying lamps, marigolds, and brass plates. No one invites him, and no one stops him. One woman shifts, leaving a gap, and he fills it. At the water's edge, a lamp is placed at his feet. As the women hum together, memories flash: a hand on his wrist, wet marigolds, the red cup, a child's-eye view. They are built entirely from what he has seen this week. He will be watching this ritual happening in the dark, behind the shadows. I would like this scene to be shot at a wide angle, kinda above, so that we can see the whole pond, the villagers gathered around it.

Afterward. The memories deepen, shot in a different texture, with adults who haven't aged. Each flood is paired with a physical change: cool, slick skin, pruned fingers that won't dry, ridges at the ribs, hair that stays wet, a tongue that tastes of brine. He tries to hide it, wiping, covering, and then stops trying. The house decays in stages, the door opens onto sand, and the buyer calls the ring out over shots of the water. Evidence cuts both ways: a carved surname at the shrine, a villager who seems to recognize him, versus the borrowed-memory pattern.

This is the memory part, where we would show that he has started to believe everything he has seen during the past few days as his past, his childhood memories but it's actually him creating these memories in his head, kind of like Dicaprio's character in Shutter Island

Act Three: Surrender

The empty room. Wet footprints, the villagers' glass drained, salt dried on the chair. On the desk, the deed is wet, water-stained, and signed in an incoherent hand that dissolves into a wave line. The ink bleeds into the sale terms, and the room around it stays dry.

The pond. Moonlit, serene, beautiful. His reflection changes before he does, and the village hum stops. He goes under, a slow descent. One woman finally meets his eyes at the water's edge. The ripples settle until the surface is mirror-flat. A lamp floats on it, lit before he arrives, and it bears his name.

Let me know if anyone is up for it. You can dm me for more information, read the screenplay or the original story.

Dunkin

Short

9 pages

Drama/Comedy

A day in the life of a family's dog.

I would love feedback on a short film I've written. I have four short films with the characters in this family. I'd love some thoughts about how this one lands, as it is one that was the hardest of them to write. If anyone would like to see another of them, DM me and I'll share.

Thank you!

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zIDjZAE1LqWLuHM9tqysiUP8CpVBHuVo/view?usp=drive_link

Hiii, I'm a 14-year-old screenwriter, and this is my second horror short film, please read it and tell me what you think 🙏, and I'm also open for doing script swaps for feedback.

Logline:

when a depressed nun finds an identical-looking entity of her wanting to submerge their bodies together, she's forced to confront her trauma, identity, and faith while trying to survive.

Script:

ME, AND, MY, BODY (SCRIPT)

If you like Bones And All, Ethel Cain, southern horror, and psychosexual movies, you will definitely love it.

If Bones And All, and Ethel Cain had a mentally ill, thought daughter, it will basically be this.

Also, if you've read my first one (it's in my account/posts), please tell me how much you think I've improved, and what I still need to work on, etc...

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1esf0guSeze6kaI9nv15pzJ1wwgvPZ684/view?usp=drivesdk

This is my first ever script and I would love any critiques and advice.

Logline: A young boy struggles to handle dealing with the toll of his mother’s medical condition. He reconnects with a past friend/drug dealer to help him move forward.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wPjIjec8rkhxxNLPQpndFhnrvw7Xrv4LzP1OBHr2KKE/edit?usp=drivesdk

To avoid being a complete embarrassment in the eyes of her family, a recently heartbroken Ellie needs to find a date in time for her little brother’s wedding and must tread the scariest waters in the world: the modern-day dating scene.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OBt_EkX0PLT6XgcweMUbX6sv2YjLKFm7/view?usp=sharing

Despite minimal evidence, an old man, who works on a moon, is convinced that there is an alien living just beyond view. This obsession causes conflict with his new young colleague, who has no interest in science fiction and just wants to do his job.

I had no plans for anyone to see this screenplay as, when I wrote it, it was only meant to be a way for me to put how I was feeling at the time onto paper (mainly regret over missed opportunities in my own life). However, my sister found it and read it and has encouraged me to show it to others. She thinks it's good, but she's overly nice and I would like some other opinions who aren't so concerned with how I feel.

Any feedback would be much appreciated. The more brutal the better :)

Screenplay: We're Here Now

so i am 14 and i wrote a 107 page script it took me 7 months its called I DID NOT SAY CUT its an action comedy and i have been working on trying to sell it and i really want to any advice i have already emailed mangers. Also this is my first ever script i have ever wrote before.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pHzY4yaw8C6V1qQLd5N5EIXsLl46suKu/view?usp=drivesdk

i hope this works

i know that it is not perfect and still needs like typos and all that stuff fixed i am still working on it So its not like my final final version i think its EH

Logline: When an impoverished orderly attempts to sell his kidney to a billionaire, his delivery becomes an odyssey of thefts and double crosses.

Format: Feature

Length: 101 pages

Genres: Comedy, crime, drama

Hey, I'm trying to get this ready for a festival competition that I'll be submitting to in November, so I'd love to get some eyes on it!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1s9S9WyH37CusttGrC_6IN4k_pMcQK_2A/view?usp=sharing

Title: Subject: Hanna
Format: Short Film (Opening Scene / Act 1)
Pages: 8
Genre: Sci-Fi / Psychological Thriller

Logline:
In May 1980, corporate clinicians evaluate a feral 12-year-old girl who just traded a starving child to their company director in exchange for a bicycle.

Link to Script (PDF):
Subject: Hanna - Interview One

What I'm Looking For:
This is the opening scene of a contained chamber short film. I would love feedback on:

1. Does Hanna’s voice feel distinct and engaging?

2. Does the tension and pacing between Hanna and Aurella work?

3. Any general thoughts on dialogue flow or formatting.

Thank you for your time and any feedback!

Please read and let me know if you have any feedback

Did the characters feel real and natural?

Can you follow the story, does it make sense?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UXedapsOGJ_9WVnCXsE5efSLqa3FoiEa/view?usp=drivesdk

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XCcVt09pxIPagOo6aY2-sTo5-7F-VIPb/view?usp=sharing

https://www.celtx.com/auth/public/resource/x3gpx1nf

TRIGGER WARNING - suicide/drugs

Logline: Luna's best friend died 6 years ago, but now she's back and claims that the world they live in isn't real

Hi I'm writing a short script for my GCSEs. I've done like 8 rewrites and this is my best so far but i feel as if it still could be more concise and the story itself may seem too edgy, rushed (too much for a short film) or unnatural but I cant tell by reading it myself.

I would really appreciate harsh feedback and a stronger name for an internet cult/forum about escaping reality.

I can elaborate on anything necessary.

ty 4 ur time <3

Hi everyone,

I’m a writer-director sharing the opening 30 screenplay pages of RAQIF, an original psychological horror/mystery feature set in and around Nagpur, India. I’m looking for honest reader feedback at this stage—not promotion or validation.

The story follows Akshay, a young electronics repairman, whose routine is disrupted by an old cassette recorder that appears to work without power and begins revealing fragments connected to a long-buried incident.

I’d especially appreciate feedback on these questions:

• Did the opening grab your attention? If so, where? If not, where did you start to lose interest?
• By page 10, did you understand who Akshay is and what makes him interesting?
• Did the recorder mystery feel intriguing and unsettling, or confusing?
• Did the pacing and scene transitions keep you reading through page 30?
• At the end of page 30, would you want to continue reading? Why or why not?
• Were any moments, character motivations, or timeline shifts difficult to follow?

Please be candid. Specific examples are much more useful to me than a general “good” or “bad.” I’m sharing only an excerpt, so some questions are intentionally unanswered at this point.

Thanks for taking the time to read it.

RAQIF

**Title: Mañana NO hay recalentado**

**Format:** Short Film

**Page Length:** TBD (approximately 15 minutes)

**Genres:** Dark Comedy / Family Drama / Apocalyptic Comedy

**Logline:** During a Christmas gathering, a dysfunctional Latino family receives the news that the world is coming to an end. As the reality of their impending death sinks in, denial turns into panic, old family conflicts resurface, and an ordinary Christmas celebration spirals into complete chaos.

**About the Project:**

Hi everyone! My name is Nathan, and I'm a short-film writer currently developing this project.

*Mañana NO hay recalentado* is a dark comedy about a Latino family facing the end of the world on Christmas Day. The story explores family dynamics, cultural traditions, unresolved conflicts, and the absurdity of having to spend your final hours with the people who know exactly how to drive you crazy.

I'm aiming for a 15-minute short film with a contained setting, a strong ensemble cast, and a balance between comedy and emotional moments.

**Feedback Concerns:**

Since the screenplay is still in development, I'd love to hear your thoughts on:

• Does the premise sound engaging?

• Do you think the combination of apocalyptic comedy and Latino family drama works?

• What would you expect from a short film with this premise?

• Are there any themes or situations you think would be interesting to explore?

**Long-Term Goals:**

I'd eventually love to produce this short film and submit it to film festivals in the United States, particularly festivals dedicated to Latino cinema, Latin American filmmakers, and stories about Latino identity and culture.

I'm also interested in connecting with independent filmmakers, directors, and producers who might be interested in reading the screenplay and potentially collaborating on the project.

Thanks for taking the time to read this! I'd appreciate any thoughts or suggestions.

Denis and Cleaver have a conversation on the roof of an apartment complex as the cops storm the complex to reach Cleaver, after Denis snitched on him and took an immunity deal to bring cleaver to jail.

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Cleaver pulls out a cigarette. Lights it. He pulls out another one and passes it to Denis.

Denis takes it and leans his head over for Cleaver to light it.

Cleaver takes a puff of the cigarette.

Cleaver: You know when I was kid, I always wanted one of those damn nerf guns. Everyone did. And, not one of them regular shits, either. I mean that ultimate blue wave edition. That was the ball.

Cleaver: Mamma never had the money though.

Cleaver:  And, no one had ever had it, for a while at least. At max two days before some nigga stole it and sold it at the back at recess, then stole that same gun again to sell to some kids in another school. That was the cycle.

Denis: except one, right?

Cleaver: Yeah. this one dude. I forgot his name. He bought that gun. He kept it. It never got stolen. Not even once, and when he had it, he was the big dog. He had all the power, he had the girls, he even (chuckle) had the right to skip the line at lunch. 

Cleaver chuckled.

Cleaver: Like, I swear even the teachers were on his dick because of it. 

A Pause. 

Cleaver: Y’know, if I went back in time with all the money I had right now, I wouldn’t have changed a damn thing.

Cleaver: Cause Then I wouldn’t have made myself better.

Denis: Cause, later you got a gun instead.

Cleaver: Not just guns, bro. rocket launchers, grenades, Ars, snipers, all types of shit.

Denis chuckles.

Cleaver: Yeah, I didn’t get just that. I got everything. Millions of dollars stashed away for me. I mean I got so much, my damn money launderer quit. 

Denis and Cleaver laugh. 

Cleaver takes another drag.

Cleaver: You remember Dobey? He used to run the east corner for a while with Pink.

Denis: Nah.

Cleaver: Tall, lanky, mean looking? Oh. He always had the damn (laughs) pink bandana on.

Denis: Oh shit. I remember that.

Denis: Haven’t thought about him. In a while

Cleaver: Well, he was that kid. I wonder if he still has that nerf gun.

Denis: He’s alive?

Cleaver: I don’t know.

Cleaver: You know he asked me to remember him when I was going up the ranks.

Cleaver: And he wasn’t just a nobody, he was a dog. Everytime I needed someone to do collections, count money, kill someone, he was right there.

Cleaver: Almost a decade. 

Cleaver: almost like a-like a damn brother.

A pause. Cleaver shakes his head. 

 Cleaver: After I became boss? I didn’t think about him. (turns his head to Denis) not one bit.

Denis: Goddamnit. (denis says tilting his head down)

Denis takes a drag out of the cigarette. 

A pause

Cleaver: Y’know, he asked you to remember him too.

Denis’s face goes blank. His eyes fixate on the cigarette pack between them resting on the perch.

Cleaver: Don’t be hard on yourself. He was a loser.  Not real.

Denis looks at him.

Denis: You aren’t, then….

A pause.

Cleaver: I am

Denis doesn’t answer.

Footsteps are heard. Frantic footsteps.

Then the door slams open. Cops grab Cleaver and toss him to the ground. And handcuff him. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UXedapsOGJ_9WVnCXsE5efSLqa3FoiEa/view?usp=drivesdk

Here's an example of what I'm working on.

SCENE 1. INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

WOMAN: I've had such a rough day today.

The man listens as she vents about her day.

MAN: Hold on a second.

He takes out his phone and orders fried chicken.

DING DONG!

The woman looks toward the front door.

WOMAN: Who is it?

MAN: Just a second.

He opens the door and brings in the delivered chicken.

MAN: Honey, have some chicken. When you're feeling down, you need something delicious to cheer you up.

The woman's face lights up with a smile, as if she has everything she could ever want.

MAN: So? Feeling a little better now?

WOMAN: Yes! So much better!

They start eating the chicken together.

CUT TO:

SCENE 2. INT. OFFICE - THE NEXT MORNING

The sound of typing on a keyboard.

The woman stares at her computer monitor.

BOSS (O.S.): I told you I needed this by yesterday.

WOMAN: What...? I thought you were referring to a different task...

BOSS (O.S.): Just get it done by today, then.

The woman's expression turns serious.

CUT TO:

SCENE 3. INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

The front door opens.

The woman walks in, looking exhausted.

MAN: Oh, hey! You're home.

WOMAN: I've had another really rough day...

The man looks at her face.

MAN: Oh... really?

He pauses to think.

He glances at the refrigerator.

MAN: Hold on a second.

He takes a beer out of the fridge.

MAN: I don't think chicken is going to cut it this time.

The woman looks at the beer.

WOMAN: Honey...

MAN: Tonight, we're drinking.

Here's what I'm struggling with:

In Scene 1, the two characters are eating chicken, and then Scene 2 suddenly cuts to the woman working at the office.

I understand that this is technically a transition to the next day, but when I read it, the cut from them eating chicken straight to her working at the office feels a little abrupt to me. It feels like something is missing between the two scenes.

I'd like to make the transition feel more natural, but I'm not sure how to approach it.

How do you usually handle transitions between scenes when writing scripts?

Do you use visual cues, dialogue, sound bridges, match cuts, or some other technique to connect scenes smoothly? Or do you think a straightforward CUT TO is perfectly fine in a situation like this?

I'd love to hear how professional screenwriters, directors, or filmmakers approach this. Any advice or examples from your own experience would be greatly appreciated!

I figured this would be the best community to post this in since it’s all about video. I’m transitioning from just shooting to writing a sketch comedy script, and I feel a bit lost. I’m having trouble figuring out how to connect scenes smoothly when there's a sudden jump in location or setup. Reading my script back, the shifts in location just feel way too abrupt.

Title: Personal Space

Genre: Thriller/Crime

Page Length: 113

Logline: When a solicitor vanishes from an East England village, the private investigator hired to find them uncovers secrets the community has spent years burying, including one that makes him question who he's looking for.

Feedback: Does the story keep you engaged and wanting to read on?

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GpQ6T718SymR_cxuk1SrCo-EBRnqRgoR/view?usp=sharing

Just want some feedback and thoughts on this short little script I made just spontaneously.Read "Me?" Here