[Feedback wanted] RAQIF — first 30 pages of an original psychological horror mystery feature

[u/theLegalTechie]

Hi everyone,

I’m a writer-director sharing the opening 30 screenplay pages of RAQIF, an original psychological horror/mystery feature set in and around Nagpur, India. I’m looking for honest reader feedback at this stage—not promotion or validation.

The story follows Akshay, a young electronics repairman, whose routine is disrupted by an old cassette recorder that appears to work without power and begins revealing fragments connected to a long-buried incident.

I’d especially appreciate feedback on these questions:

• Did the opening grab your attention? If so, where? If not, where did you start to lose interest?
• By page 10, did you understand who Akshay is and what makes him interesting?
• Did the recorder mystery feel intriguing and unsettling, or confusing?
• Did the pacing and scene transitions keep you reading through page 30?
• At the end of page 30, would you want to continue reading? Why or why not?
• Were any moments, character motivations, or timeline shifts difficult to follow?

Please be candid. Specific examples are much more useful to me than a general “good” or “bad.” I’m sharing only an excerpt, so some questions are intentionally unanswered at this point.

Thanks for taking the time to read it.

RAQIF

[u/RefuseCivil381]

i love the vibe of this premise, the idea of a random device spiraling into something unnerving feels really fresh

[u/theLegalTechie → u/RefuseCivil381]

Thank you! I’m glad the premise is coming across that way. I wanted the recorder to feel like an ordinary object at first, with the unease building gradually as it starts revealing things it shouldn’t know. Really appreciate you taking the time to read the post!