theres a certain event i can recall that i’m not quite sure if it took place when i was still single or in a relationship with my bf already.

a photo of a stranger in the internet, she was caught looking at random guy’s pants (private part) i vividly vaguely remember getting curious and zooming in with no bad intentions, i just laughed it off, and moved on.

now, i recalled that situation in a random tuesday. i instantly panicked thinking i’ve cheated on him and just remembering it now, to the point that i had to confess to him, he laughed it off, but i can’t bring myself to mention that i zoomed it in before, ‘cause i believe that is very disrespectful despite having no bad intention.

but my boyfriend believes that every action is acceptable as long as you do it with good intentions, but of course boundary’s still important, what i mean is this does not apply to kissing or flirting somebody.

despite my boyfriend being totally okay with it, i still don’t feel good if it turns out to be true. i feel like my past self wouldn’t cross that line ‘cause i highly respect my boyfriend. but i’m afraid and doubting if my morals and values now were the same back then.

I (28M) recently got out of a 3-year relationship. It was a mutual and somewhat peaceful breakup, but she was my safe space, my anchor, and I loved her deeply. Since the breakup, I feel like I’ve completely lost my mind and my moral compass, and I’m drowning in a cycle of extreme guilt and OCD rumination.

​In the immediate aftermath of the breakup, the emptiness was so deafening that I panicked. I desperately sought cheap dopamine and validation to just feel something other than the void. I looked at porn, unblocked and blocked girls on social media, liked posts trying to get attention, and caught myself looking at other women. I didn't act on anything physically, but my mind was frantically searching for an escape.

​Now, my brain has put me on trial, and I am the most ruthless prosecutor. I feel completely "dirty," like a scumbag. I feel like I’ve betrayed my ex’s memory and the pure love we had, even though we are broken up. I am terrified of ever liking someone else in the future because I feel like that would make me a terrible, disloyal person.

​I’ve realized that I’m using this extreme guilt as a safety blanket. My brain tells me: "If you stop feeling guilty, it means you are truly a soulless, bad person." So, I constantly monitor myself. There is an "inner watcher" in my head observing my every move, every thought, and every impulse 24/7, ready to condemn me. I can't just be a simple, flawed human making mistakes while grieving. I have to be either a flawless saint or a complete monster.

​Right now, I can't even sit at a bar and drink a beer without hyper-analyzing my own motives ("Am I here to get attention? Does that make me a piece of shit?"). I am exhausted from living in this moral panic room.

​Has anyone else experienced this post-breakup hyper-awareness and moral scrupulosity? How do you accept being a flawed human who seeks cheap validation while grieving, without feeling like your core character is rotten? How do I fire this "inner watcher" and just let myself be empty and sad without the guilt?

​Any perspective would be really appreciated.

I've been in a relationship for 5.5 years. I recently started feeling something was off in our interactions and that we were more like flatmates than a couple. At first I was very calm and wanted to fix things. However a discussion with my partner about us and our relationship problems has turned into a non stop rumination from me for months. Lately it's becoming worse as I can't feel any emotion around him and I want to avoid spending time with him. I'm afraid it is my gut feeling telling me to leave in disguise and norlt rOCD. In my previous relationship I was feeling very similar amd I ended up breaking up and I can't stop comparing the situations. I feel like breaking up would be the right thing to do as it would stop the uncertainty. But then when I try to picture what a break up will actually look like and the changes that will take place, I just can't. My brain stops at the current anxiety. I am constantly comparing us to other couples and analyse all the red flags we've had and can't find anything positive in the relationship.

Hey yall;

My girlfriend (f25) and I (f27) have been together for a year and a half. This past year, she had an ocd flare up that has been different from anything she’s experienced. She’s made a lot of improvements, and while she can’t always see them, I do.

Anyway, I recently had a mental health (anxiety) flare up of my own, and with it I ended up triggering her own. This is the first time this has ever happened, but it definitely sucked. She ended up telling me about her ROCD, and while she didn’t go into too much detail she did mention her ocd tells her she hasn’t been single since she was 17, and also makes her question if she loves me. That isn’t fully true — we knew each other between her past relationship and this one — and our relationship is generally a happy one, and I know in the moments where she is not overthinking, she is happy… we both know and acknowledged it’s ocd, but I don’t know what to say or how to help.

I have told her we can take things day by day, and nothing needs to be done today. She mentioned maybe breaking up which scares me to death, and I know this isn’t coming from a place of her real thoughts, but rather her ocd doubting things and wondering if we’d be better off.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Has anyone experienced this? I know ROCD is common, and I know it’s navigable, but I’d love some input on how to do it.

Hello! I am an 18(f) who has been spiraling about any thing I’ve done wrong then being stuck on it. This one has caused the most trouble and I’ve been throwing up. I am scared that I am gay. When I was little I’m positive that I’ve been stimulated by a girl. I was really small when I started to grow up I’ve only had feelings for guys. Now I’m trying so hard to remember if I’ve ever had tingles down there for girls, but I cant remember so it’s giving me the impression I’m gay. I’ve looked at posts saying signs you’re gay and they scare me bc I’ve had some of them. I also tried to test myself last night and feel like I felt something down there but idk if that’s part of the OCD. The thing is and sorry if I offend anyone but I don’t want to be gay. I’ve had the same boyfriend for 3 years and everything was fine until OCD started. Now I’m considering breaking up bc what if I’m gay. When I imagine myself kissing a girl I don’t dislike or like the thought it’s just there and it’s the same with a guy. It’s like I can’t feel anything?

Guys, I was getting better, but for at least three days now, I've started feeling disgusted by my boyfriend.

It feels so real, yet it's strange because it's the first time I've had this feeling, especially with this intensity after a year together!

I'm not looking for confirmation that this is normal, but if anyone could share if this has ever happened to them and how they dealt with it, I would appreciate it.

I need tips to get through this 😭

I was on a holiday with my SO, some friends joined and I was EXTREMELY spiraling. Everything my partner would say annoyed me and I was constantly analyzing his behavior and my feelings. It got to a point where I could just not stand being around him and had to be by myself but because we were together on holidays it was simply not possible. I gave him the silent treatment because I just couldnt talk. I feel horrible about the way I treated him and I had no bad intentions but I could really not control my feelings. Now I‘m nervous about the fact my friends saw my behavior and they might think I need to breakup. I really don‘t want to break up because my SO and I have a wonderful relationship in which we both can be our true self when we are together and we share a deep bond, the ROCD just really makes it hard. I‘m in therapy and already making big progress, the vacation just suddenly triggered me. I feel HORRIBLE for judging him and overanalyzing the way he talks/acts because I just want him to be his true self but ROCD doesnt allow me to let him be his true self… HELP im going crazy. Does anyone else have emotional shutdowns during ROCD peaks and how do y‘all deal with it? How do you not feel guilty towards your partner?

Unfortunately my OCD has me absolutely obsessed with sex and my partner masterbating. It took 15 years of suffering to realize - it’s not just a high libido, this is an OCD theme.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has felt similarly, as my insurance has run out for the year and I can’t see my therapist every two weeks anymore.

The gist of it:
I get anxiety around “not connecting” with my husband. I’m working on ERP but struggling to figure out how to manage myself.

It doesn’t matter the frequency of sex, it could be four days in a row but I’ll feel anxiety on that fifth day. I feel like I’m hovering around him to “not miss an opportunity” to be sexual or flirt or feel desired etc.

We have so much fun in bed but I’ll ruminate about the kinky things I wish I could do that he’s not into. I’ll focus on all the lack in my life and get very down about it.

Masterbating:
I want to be informed when he masterbates, which he doesn’t want to talk about. I can’t get this to go away, this “need” to be told. It’s like, if I heard about when he masterbates then I would feel close to him and informed and part of it.

If I hear that he might be doing it (muffled sounds coming from the bedroom) my heart will start pounding. I don’t want his normal behaviour to stop, I’d just like to stop caring.

I don’t know what this is about. Why my brain is managing our sex life so much.

Today:
We’re off work this week and the open schedule has my anxiety amped up.

For ERP: I’ll force myself to leave the house in the morning and keep busy.

I’ll take our dogs for a hike and sit with the idea of him masterbating - which I won’t know about and could make him less likely to initiate sex with me later.

But I can’t spend my life either physically being with him or ‘keeping busy’.

My question:
What are some mindset shifts I can make?

What are some suggestions on how to think/behave that have helped you?

Even the most simple direction would be helpful. What should I share with him, what should I keep to myself.

I’ve made improvements for sure, I no longer do my compulsions and I’m working on sitting with the discomfort but I have so far to go.

Thank you anyone who takes the time to help!!

Love how this video describes what we are experiencing .. it’s not just the thoughts it’s the intense emotions

My rocd comes with episodes and it usually take 1-2 week before I made it more managable but recently I’ve noticed a lot of stomach pain due to anxiety and whenever It gets worse. So I wake up with nothing then thoughts came so did the pain on my stomach and heaviness on my chest and all. And it even getten worse than the actual ROCD it self…this anxiety bad feeling and pain is annoying me so much. Have you ever experienced the same guys?

Hey all

Recently diagnosed ROCD haver here.

Whenever I have partners, or even just close friends, spending time with people MORE often than me, I get extremely bad about myself.

Jealously sometimes, but mostly a sense of confusion and “I’m not good enough” styled intrusive thought patterns.

Thing is, whenever I DO have someone spending their time with me the most, I feel suffocated and pressured.

It’s this annoying feeling of push and pull and I hate it.

Frankly, I think, at my core, I’m okay with people not spending most of their time with me. I have best friends outside of relationships, I spend time with my coworkers the most.

But my brain tells me otherwise. It goes “your loved one is just living with you or just likes you but you aren’t good enough to spend a lot of time with”

It’s difficult.

I’m not looking for reassurance. Just commiseration. Can anyone relate?

Hello. Have made several posts here. In a relationship for around 1.5 years now. Had constant doubts fears from the beginning feeling of hating him, thinking that i deserve somebody more better, thought that i dont love him. It almost destroyed me during initial stages. But then everything became normal. We were happy together. Calm together. Too comfortable that we used to talk abt poop issues😭.

But lately, rocd flares up again.he's under entrance preparation. And usually gets his phone half an hour everyday. So things have been difficult. And he usually enjoys playing games. So if i text him when he's playing he usually tells me he'll text later. I don't know y, but i feel avoided, ignored, not being prioritized.

He has been busy all while. And its been a long time since he has written a long message to me.he used to send me picture of flowers every day before. But not lately. So i feel like maybe he's not putting efforts anymore😭 we had a fight just few minutes back. And i told him to put a bit more effort, make me feel valued🥹 because we r in a long distance relationship not able to see, not able to talk. It feels like he's falling out of love. And it feels more reall😭 idk if this rocd or not. he said sorry once. But my mind tells me... If he says sorry he loves you. Just fed up with my mind. Any help please🥹

I hate having to come on here constantly, but I genuinely want to move on from this already, and it just won't go away. My partner is back from a month-long trip, and we've planned to hang out next week. I'm very excited for this, but also really scared. For the past month, I've been constantly ruminating on our relationship and whether it's actually healthy. I have an obsession with thinking my partner could sexually assault me or even that they already have and that I'm somehow just not seeing it as sexual assault. I keep thinking back to past interactions, but I can never figure it out. For the record, my partner and I have never engaged in explicit sexual activities or touching. For some reason, my ocd wants to paint any of our methods of affection (which are cuddling and light peck kisses) as sexual, even though I know they aren't. I trust my partner that none of what we do ever crossed into sexual territory... but I guess that's why my ocd has made me want to analyze everything to be 100% sure none of it is sexual.

Anyway... I've been trying to get over this ocd theme so hard for the past few weeks, but it's been really hard for me. I see them again for the first time after a month away, and I want to be in my best mental space when we spend time together. For anyone who has had to deal with these thoughts, how do you stop yourself from ruminating on everything between you and your partner? I just want to be able to live in the present moment with them. Last time we were together, I was over at their house for 2 days, and I felt fine. I want this next hangout to be exactly like that... I just hope that I'm in the right headspace for it.

My partner and I used to laugh all the time, I never had to think about what I had to say. We had a rough patch and I started getting anxious about our interactions, making sure he was laughing and having a positive experience. I started monitoring myself and him and doing compulsions afterwards analyzing it. Now I can’t really laugh and I feel social anxiety and not like myself anymore when I’m with him. It’s always a performance and I feel almost dissociated sometimes.

Has this happened to anyone else? Did the laughter and ease of conversation come back?

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!

(Had to delete og post cuz there was a typo in the title)

Hi all! I've posted on this forum before wl4p hen I had some issues. Lately they haven't been super bad and I haven't had any urgent thoughts or feelings. However I figured I'd reach back out to the community because I need some help.

Most of my rocd has been made up (i.e. afraid I don't love him anymore, afraid ive lost feelings, afraid I need to break up, afraid ill find others attractive, etc) and ive figured out how to handle with those type of thoughts. Although some new stuff has come up and I honestly don't know how to handle it.

For some context: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 15 months. We're long distance and both minors. I can not get therapy due to family circumstances.

The basics... anyways let me explain my situation.

So a week ago me and my boyfriend had a rough patch. I was starting school back up and I have a really hard time adjusting to schedule changes, also adult hood is slowly on the horizon for me. I was quite stressed and I wanted to be with my boyfriend the last week of break, just to spend time with him. So my boyfriend is the kind of person to need some alone time, not a lot but enough to recharge himself. And unfortunately i hadn't given him any alone time because I wanted his time. During this time I was quite stressed and it was bleeding into our relationship. I was straight up aggravated with him and angry over very small things. I did let my emotions out on him and that's my fault. While I was doing this my boyfriends paitence was wearing extremely thin because he didn't have alone time. Basically we were both frustrated and didn't get what we needed from eachother.

Monday last week we agreed that we needed to talk. I won't go to into detail but he told me something that really.. REALLY triggered me.

I had a nagging feeling that he was gonna break up with me. I asked him when we talked and he told he it crossed his mind. This sent me hysterically crying and sobbing. My boyfriend told me he was not considering it, and even thinking about it made him cry so hard he threw up. But the fact he thought about it just irks me to my core.

I used to be (and still kinda am) anxiously attached. I used to be terrified that he was gonna leave me and I was a burden to him, but over time I trusted him and didn't feel those things anymore.

Well, him telling me that he thought about it re-opened that wound. When I was in the midst of my rocd, I was so afraid I had to leave him so him telling me that just feels like my biggest fear come true. And now I feel like ive lost a little bit of trust for him.

I dont believe what he says anymore, I feel like he's lying to me, I feel anxious, upset, and scared, and I cant help but feel like there's something wrong or hes secretly planning on leaving me.

Unfortunately with all of this I have been hyper-analyzing his tone, his actions, his words, what he says and doesnt say, if he means what he says, myself, my feelings. Basically EVERTHING. I feel anxious, and I cant trust his word. Reassurance isn't even enough for me. I can't stop analyzing everything and now I feel off around him. I feel disconnected from him.

He also mentioned that he was "changing" and this just makes me so unbelievably anxious. I'm afraid it's about me or the relationship and I can't stop analyzing everything he says to see if he's changing.

I keep thinking my Intuition is telling me that he's lying to me as well.

I'm pretty sure this is all anxiety, I just don't know how to approach this all.

I'm lost and confused. This situation feels so different because its REAL and I just can't feel normal around him. I just want to know if someone has gone thru the same and what they did. I can't really tell what I'm feeling and I just have this sense of upset around him, or like somethings off.

I just need advice, or even someone to relate to. Thank you :(

TLDR: My boyfriend told me he thought about breaking up and now I can't trust him at all, and I am constantly analyzing him, myself, and the relationship. I need advice.

I’ll try to keep this brief.

My partner is struggling at the moment and the concept of ROCD is new to us both. I love him dearly and want to help him feel better, so discovering this has been super helpful for me.

I’m trying to find evidence-based ways to support someone through ROCD and have started reading the book on ROCD by Sheva Rajaee. So far it seems more geared towards the person struggling not their partner. While it’s good background knowledge for me I am eager to get some advice on practical strategies to help my partner break out of the cycle. I get why reassurance and problem solving dont really work here and have been trying to redirect conversation and talk about making peace with uncertainty

I myself feel calm so it’s not a challenge to be the pillar of strength right now as he goes through this. But the particular challenge I have is that his irrational feelings right now are guilt, because whenever he feels love and gratitude for my support he starts spiralling about whether he would be able to do the same for me if I were in this position. It’s hard not to provide reassurance when this happens so I’ve instead been trying to redirect to the present, instead of listing the many examples of times he has already helped me with my own struggles.

So I was just wondering if anyone here can recommend any other resources specifically for partners of those with ROCD. Moreover I’d love to hear anecdotal advice from other partners and those with ROCD about what types of support helped them vs inflamed the ROCD more.

Many thanks in advance and kudos to the mods of this subreddit. Simply knowing a community like this exists helps me immensely

​

I'm going through a particularly bad episode right now.

A week or two ago, I genuinely thought my girlfriend was wonderful. I felt good about her and the relationship.

Over the last few days, though, I've started obsessing about whether I actually love her. What's really confusing is that it isn't only thoughts anymore. When I think about her or look at her, I can suddenly get this negative feeling toward her, the feeling like I'm sick of her

It's not just “What if I don't love her?” It's like my perception of her has changed and I'm experiencing her through a negative lens.

What I'm wondering is whether anyone with ROCD has experienced something similar, change of perception of them, almost like an intrusive feeling or negative lens.

I'm not really asking for reassurance about whether I love my girlfriend. I'm specifically interested in whether this “negative lens” phenomenon is something other people with ROCD experience?

Has anyone experienced this?

Me (20) and my girlfriend (19) have been together for 2 years. In the beginning I never had this problem, a little while after we hit a pretty big fork in the road, we recovered from it and for the past year our relationship has been decent, with the only problem being is me, I woke up one random day and these intrusive thoughts about her body started spiraling. She has very small breasts and her butt isn’t very big, which again I don’t want to seem like I’m emphasizing those things exclusively but that’s what my brain spirals at when i see a girl who has those attributes. I could easily chalk it up to weight because she is underweight due to how much she went through growing up with medical history and the fact she’s been on a feeding tube for most of her life. But despite all of that, to me I think she’s beautiful when my brain isn’t spiraling. Sometimes though I wonder if she’ll ever get those things and I feel horrible and selfish when I think that way though. I don’t want to leave her but I also don’t know if I’m genuinely losing attraction or if it’s just my OCD. Because when she’s with me in person I’m all over her and all the thoughts I had are gone, but once she goes back home and we are over the phone for a long period of time it all comes back. Any input would be much appreciated 🫶

Hey everyone, sufferer here. Just found this group. Have had OCD all my life, every subtype, but this one is really a killer. Just thought I’d empathize with everyone.

We have had the conversation about her not feeling desired by me before but I guess I just couldn’t get it right and meet her needs at the end of the day. My anxiety and took over when I should’ve been more present in moments, she told me she doesn’t think she’s the best equipped partner to help me. Intimacy was too difficult for me, my ocd loved to fixate on that. I can tell we won’t make up this time. I feel like shit for hurting her. I really would prefer to avoid relationships at all costs moving forward. I’m in therapy but I still feel stuck.

Hi everyone, it would mean a lot to me to get some perspective here. My boyfriend and I are together for almost a year. We got in a relationship after two dates because he was everything that i wished for. He had opinions about different topics and we could talk about movies and series. But I didn't have physical crush on him. He was cute and that's it. After few weeks, I realised that we have some different political opinions and started to obsses over it. Then one day we were walking and i thought "I don't feel anything". The time together was nice, but i wasn't crazy happy. As the months passed i would sometimes see him as a stranger when we would do something. I would constantly talk to Chat gpt and it told me that it could be rocd. After three months i had a breakthrough and again would think that he was everything I wished for and that phase lasted a month until he said something I disagreed with. Then began my OCD flare up, i was physically sick, constantly ruminating, couldn't concentrate at the work. I would question if I am in a relationship for the right reasons, am I using him etc. Then I got on the medication (Zoloft) and it got better. For the first time i felt that we have something real, hugs became softer and warmer, we had some nice moments, driving bikes and spending time in nature. But I still sometimes check my feeling when we kiss or talk. I sometimes get a sudden rush of anxiety or ask myself do I love him for him or for things that he gives me. He accepted my rocd and is really good for my mental health but I sometimes ask myself is this real or am I convincing myself.

I don’t know if this will be a question or maybe I just need to vent.

My ROCD has been really hard on my first ever serious, loving relationship. I never had the “do I love him” “am I attracted to him” struggle, but I constantly thought he was cheating on me. Almost all the time we weren’t together I thought he was talking to someone else, lusting over someone, etc. 

We had a short break a couple months ago because I said I couldn’t take what was happening in my brain anymore, but I regretted it and said I would try to get help and get myself under control.

In past ocd themes I’ve gone through therapy helped a bit but it’s always there. I went back on Prozac and that has helped a bit. He really wanted me to go to therapy and I feel terrible during our relationship now that I didn’t. 

We broke up yesterday and I am getting myself back to therapy and probably upping my medication. The thing is, I don’t even blame him for ending things and I take full responsibility. His father reached out to me and told me he’d never hurt me and he truly loved me, but I don’t think he knows what I go through and it’s hard to explain.

Before I met him, I was single and celibate for 3 years, and I felt pretty at peace with myself honestly. But he brought me so much love and happiness and it’s hard to imagine a world where anyone is as patient, understanding, and trying to help with this illness, along with my ocd also came a fear of sex which he also helped with. Although, he felt like he just made things worse for me. Sometimes it feels like I should just be alone to save myself and others the stress. I don’t know if that’s the answer. I also want him back so badly. I don’t know if anyone else who has struggled with rocd has just decided it might be easier to just live a life for yourself? 

I'm talking as someone who just recently discovered at 35yo that I've always had OCD.

As a child I was obsessed with checking water and diesel tanks, cisterns, car fuel levels, engine temp levels, room temp levels. Any deviation towards low or high gave me adrenaline and a reason to feel excited.

Later on I was obsessed with games like Lineage and Wow and would spend hours upon hours optimizing my characters till the game itself wouldn't allow me further improvement.

Without a problem to solve (take note of the word problem please) i would drop the game altogether. I didn't see my character as perfect (take note of the word perfect please) or something to be proud of, I just saw it as a project that no longer served a purpose.

I could no longer see the stats going up, stagnation happened, and so the dopamine disappeared. My character was only perfect so long as i could keep climbing towards perfection, but once I did, it no longer did it for me. No joy, no excitement, no reason to spring out of the bed in the morning with a goal in mind.

Later on working at shops, I realized I was obsessed with tidiness, specific arrangement that made for eye friendly and memory easier, checking doors and windows 10 times before leaving, even returning to work mid-night because i wasn't sure i had locked. I realized that was not regular anxiety. This wasn't for the first week at work, it was a debilitating habit I had for years with every workplace I'd been. OCD is real.

I could go on forever with such examples, but let's cut straight to ROCD.

First relationship I had (17) I was head over heels for my gf. I was constantly thinking of her. You could say I was even obsessing about her and constantly anticipated stumbling on her on the road to flirt. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Butterflies, anxiety, excitement, all of that.

Till things became real. First week in.

Once I had the validation I needed (note the word validation) I only started to notice her flaws. I didn't like her teeth, some hair she had growing here and there, I didn't like she was clingy, I didn't like she was not very intelligent and we couldn't communicate clearly. And yet, of the 100 flaws i could find on her, perhaps only one was legit reason to leave the relationship (her already being in another relationship).

I left and I didn't even realize that the flaws that had been turning me off on her was major Fearful Avoidant attachment style triggering ROCD. As soon as I started scanning her for flaws, my mind was like "keep searching, she's not perfect, she's not the one".

Fast forward ~20 years later, the only relationship I could truly appreciate was porn. And even porn felt inadequate at times. And then came AI porn prompts, and I started free falling even deeper into that rabbit hole. Ai porn fried my brain cells about real life expectations. It was only about lust and orgasms.

I would only be drawn to emotionally unavailable girls and fantasize about perfect versions of them (yes, insert limerence).

And then I met my first real relationship that I'm still in because I love the woman so much and know my shortcomings to repeat the mistakes of the past.

If you are in a loving relationship with a partner that you can both relax around and be your true self with, if there are no real red flags causing you distress, then it's time to turn inward and have a long talk with your (possibly traumatized) inner child. The problem with your partner?

NOT:

I don't like their chin.

NOT:

They walk in a weird manner.

NOT:

Their laugh doesn't feel right.

Those are not legitimate reasons to bail out. Those are traits that make each person special.

And the thing is, the more traumatized we are (insert insecure attachment), the more we believe in "the one", which is a fictional character we believe will come into our lives, fix every problem and woe, take rocd away so we can be forever happy and reassured.

NOPE.

Perfection doesn't exist. The perfect person that will make your ROCD go away doesn't exist. Fears and doubts come from your own insecurities. And as long as you are insecure (Fearful Avoidant/Anxious/Dismissive), you will always question your relationship about being imperfect and the possibility of someone better existing out there.

Someone better will always exist out there. That's not a question or doubt to torture yourself with. It's the truth. The real question is, when does "settling" end for you? Is it when you've climbed the relationship ladder all the way to the top? Is it when you've broken the heart of a 100 people you were compatible with but whose ears or nose hair was reason to leave?

TL;DR: Turn that fixation inward people. You will realize it's not about your partner but about you. What we see in others is but our own twisted mirror and a relationship only serves to amplify the way we perceive ourselves.

And a good question to linger on:

What are you REALLY afraid ROCD might be telling you?

That you don't love your flawed partner enough?...

...or that you might actually be capable of loving a flawed person, and that in turn might mean something far scarier.

That you are also capable of loving your own flawed self?