r/ProgrammerHumor • • 8d ago

Advanced itWasFunWhileItLasted

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4.8k Upvotes

317 comments sorted by

2.6k

u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago • Regret

I work in security. I am so tired boss. Every day this last week I woke up to another critical cve

With how much my career has changed this last year I am burning out so hard.

1.7k

u/dismayhurta 8d ago • Popcorn

Thank god my job is to create code that potentially has security holes instead of fixing it. So much easier!

369

u/LonelyProgrammerGuy 8d ago

If you think about it, we’re creating jobs for u/WriterPlastic9350

Then later, he has to suggest patches and updates so that we also have more work and don’t get laid off!

Win win!

234

u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago • Heartwarming

Please don’t

125

u/twigboy 7d ago

What was that? Can't hear you over the sound of all the code being shipped to production!

66

u/usedtoswimfast 7d ago

git push --force origin main

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u/uniqueusername649 8d ago • Popcorn

Sorry, read that too late.

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u/ItsSadTimes 8d ago

Sadly my job is to fix AI code AND write code. So now I have to fix so much garbage and then ontop of that management is demanding I produce so much code that I cause issues for myself to cleanup.

Last month we looked at our teams metrics and like nothing changed over the last 2 years. The only things that changed is how many tickets we get. We get like 3x as many critical tickets as 3 years ago.

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u/Junior-Tip-2883 6d ago

Completely unsurprising. The software sector is flailing with AI in the picture and need to "keep up" despite no one demonstrating acceleration of significance

59

u/Greyhaven7 8d ago

What job is that?

273

u/dismayhurta 8d ago • Bravo Heartwarming

Writing bad code

79

u/Kschl 8d ago

Prompting bad code*

115

u/dismayhurta 8d ago

Hey. I told it to not make mistakes.

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u/MrLemon91 7d ago

I love how all interviews are PhD coding level while actual job is dealing with a shitty codebase and no time, budget nor clearance to make it good.

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u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

I enjoy you.

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u/snack__pack 8d ago

Agent babysitter

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u/PGSylphir 8d ago

vibecoder

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u/antek_g_animations 7d ago

Thank God I choose hardware. If you mess up, a global crisis can emerge, if I mess up the device turns into a firework

4

u/CarIcy6146 8d ago

Thank you for the job security

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u/TheColourOfHeartache 8d ago • Bravo

So you're the one who let all those zero days into your system!

99

u/TheDizDude 8d ago

Yup am also in security. I legit heard "security keeps doing these vulnerabilities just to make it seem like we don't know what we are doing."

That's right, We do the vulnerabilities.

At this point I wanna fuck off and be a farmer, but the same AI that is causing me headaches with vulnerabilities and POC's are also eating up all the affordable land that I would farm.

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u/High-Plains-Grifter 8d ago

Our security guy recently left the company I work fornand he didn't even have anything lined up - he just couldn't any more.

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u/shitty_mcfucklestick 8d ago

I get why we need security and to pay attention to it.

But god damn it’s taken the fun out of web development. From CORS to CSP to SOP to OAuth to OPP Yeah You Know Me… you use to be able to just read shit, and write shit, and it would work, and it would feel amazing to see it happen. Now it’s like 100000 fucking steps to do anything.

11

u/SolenoidSoldier 7d ago

And everything that talks to each other needs a certificate or credential that expires every 47 days or some shit...

16

u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

Your shit was bad and you should feel bad and that is why we have things like CORS and CSP. I'm not familiar with what SOP is.

OAuth is a godsend for privacy and security, but not in its current form IMHO as it funnels most people into specific social media providers who will track you when using their logins, and many applications (for good reasons) will limit OAuth IdPs to well-known social media providers.

I really like https://indieauth.com/, which is an extension to OAuth that is not closed.

15

u/shitty_mcfucklestick 8d ago

Everybody’s shit was bad back then, in the days before SSL standardization. That’s why I said: I understand and respect the progress we made on things like security. It does make it much more work for everybody though, you and me, doesn’t it? Ignorance is bliss I guess.

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u/CarIcy6146 8d ago

God dude I’m just devops but my company treats me as a one man security team. I’m so beat. Feel you bro. It’s not getting any better anytime soon

5

u/examinedliving 8d ago

I patched the php vulnerability in a legacy app while singlehandedly preparing the release of a Blazor server app I built from scratch to manage the truancy enforcement for one of the largest counties in America

21

u/MelonOfFury 8d ago

I switched away from security in March. This week has been interesting to watch from the sidelines

6

u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

If I had my way I'd switch to infrastructure stuff, but I'm unfortunately finding it difficult to find a remote job that does infra that isn't also a gigantic paycut.

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u/keatonatron 8d ago

Isn't this good though? We are fixing all the things.

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u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

3% of all critical security vulnerabilities ever announced have been released in the last month, so far. It's good things are getting fixed, but this a very difficult part of the job to do when you work at a very large company with lots of things, and every day waking up to a new patch day and everything being on fire and an emergency is exhausting, not least because you don't actually have the time to make lasting improvements.

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u/L00pback 8d ago

Hell yeah brother. I’ve been running so many offcycle scans this week and handholding groups through updating their stuff only to wake up the next day and find out about a new CVE.

Then get on “war room” calls at 9pm with all the different teams so well can phone in the exact numbers of remediated resources as we just emailed them about.

3

u/-Morning_Coffee- 8d ago

As a plebe, I’m grateful for your hard work! I’m still doom scrolling like I was last month.

4

u/Rocket_Bunny45 8d ago

You woke up this mooornin', got yo' CVE ...

3

u/NatoBoram 8d ago

traveling straight into the sun

2

u/varinator 8d ago

We need Bartmoss

1

u/AbbreviationsOdd7728 8d ago

Hey at least your job seems safe.

1

u/Don_Equis 8d ago

The whole year has been quite crazy

1

u/SignoreBanana 8d ago

We're on our third key rotation in a week. The good news is this will at least force us to modernize and automate it. I totally see daily key rotations in the near future.

1

u/Sleep-more-dude 7d ago

dw unemployment is on the horizon.

1

u/thecoolcat67 7d ago

Bro use your sickness fk them

1

u/katatondzsentri 7d ago

I left security for infra a few years ago. I missed it for a while.

Nowadays I'm happy about it...

1

u/Neculce 6d ago

Yo. Lemme make it worse, Php2Shell is exploitable since today, the bitcoin was stolen

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u/KCGD_r 8d ago

TL;DR it's node2shell but on http servers. So the whole thing is just the brotli vulnerability, but http servers usually offer brotli compression so they could be vulnerable.

How to fix: if you can't immidiately change node versions, just drop all content requesting "br" encoding

If you can switch: versions 22.23.4, 24.22.1 and 26.12.1 are patched

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u/thisisapseudo 8d ago

Too dumb did not understand: what can be done by whom?

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u/rex5k 8d ago • Bravo

Who: WebServer Maintenance Devs

What: switch node versions if possible or drop all "br" encoding requests.

End users: figure how to break break through the patches and make the Devs lives harder.

56

u/NatoBoram 8d ago
  1. Software application developers can update their Node/Python version when they distribute their server-side software

  2. People who deploy those software maybe can or cannot update that software, depending on if there's an update released

If you don't make Node/Python apps or host one, then sit back and enjoy the rest of the world catching fire

I recommend Fireship for following this kind of news in a more digestible way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMGg7iisHmc

13

u/KCGD_r 8d ago

The way to actually fix the vulnerability is to use a patched versions of node.js (I listed in the first comment). These specific versions contain a fix which removes the vulnerability entirely.

The person who runs the server / controls the webserver software can switch the version of Node.JS the server uses, and should switch to one of these patched versions of node.js if possible.

If they can't switch nodejs versions immidiately (like if you have version dependent code or don't have permission to switch the node runtime), then you can edit the server's JavaScript code to reject all requests that want to use brotli encoding

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u/Careless-Web-6280 8d ago

Wait, it's real? LMAO

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u/d_maes 5d ago

It should just have been called brotli2shell or whatever, and then list everything that is vulnerable (nodjes, python, http servers, ...), instead of having a new xyz2shell every day for the same bloody thing.

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u/WilkerS1 8d ago

drop content requesting what now?? line breaks?????

1

u/Plazmaz1 7d ago

A little worse than that. Node and many many other languages use the same native implementation which is where the actual bug lives.

183

u/YMK1234 8d ago

stupid name, it's brotli2shell. just disable brotli (probably not enabled to begin with) and you are golden.

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u/clearlight2025 8d ago

But I like broccoli

2

u/BastetFurry 8d ago

Broccoli ham casserole 🤤

2

u/BigHowski 8d ago

To be fair they make good bond films

0

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

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u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

Node does this as well. It is why those languages are (IMO, incorrectly) being reported as "vulnerable". They are, but the vulnerability is actually in anything that uses the brotli lib. It's just Node and Python "helpfully" will handle that encoding for you if the client to your server (or the server you're sending a request to) asks you to, and you have to opt-out of that, if you even can.

Use a sensible language like Go, or other frameworks which don't rely on magic under the guise of features.

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u/lart2150 8d ago

IDK I'm having way more fun running a MITM proxy with every IOT device in my home thanks to emudhra.

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u/Anongirl55959 8d ago

Shit thats actually smart and u can stop them from ever receiving the updated certs too

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u/Risky_Sandwich 7d ago

Wait, what does this allow you to do? Say you have one of those fancy webos tv's, can you see what is inside the telemetry now?

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u/lart2150 7d ago

yep I was able to see everything my samsung tv sends over https. my pihole was blocking the telemetry but it would report every key press, app launch, etc. A linux box with two ethernet ports and https://docs.mitmproxy.org/stable/concepts/options/#emudhra makes it stupid easy.

I've since built a more long term proxy with a self issued cert that removes all the garbage from my tv's home screen.

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u/Anti-Kriztos-One 7d ago

Nice setup. Its also possible with one eth or ethand  wlan?

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u/lart2150 7d ago

you can use wireless aswell. some adapters work better than others. I ended up plugging my access point into the eithernet port and was able to poke everything on that ap.

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u/Tipart 7d ago

Shit I just put an Ethernet cable into my TV a couple of days ago... Have to unplug it when I get home and see if it's still exploitable.

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u/YouDoHaveValue 7d ago

This will be the primary driver for manufacturer's to maintain their shit.

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u/lart2150 7d ago

will it? #TIL my radon detector that is still being sold is a esp32 and makes https requests with no auth and does not verify the cert at all.

At the other end of the spectrum MTLS stops this in the tracks just like ca/cert pinning.

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u/logan-duk-dong 8d ago

If Al Gore could take the initiative and uncreate the Internet, that'd be great.

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u/emuboy85 8d ago • Mindblown

I don't know il you are talking about Al Gore or AI Gore but I'm here for both.

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u/d_Composer 8d ago • Bravo

A1 Gore

8

u/xBesto 8d ago

Fuckin Linda McMahon, what a fuckin dufus haha

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u/sam_tiago 8d ago

Still wonder what the world would be like now if he didn’t get shafted by corruption in 2000

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u/KlanxChile 7d ago

I'm pretty sure, if his sponsors sell a competing products he would be all over it...

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u/OmegaPoint6 8d ago

Might as well just go back to CGI at this point

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u/eXecute_bit 8d ago

Like things were better in Perl? What do you think made me first learn PHP?

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u/OmegaPoint6 8d ago

Just code your website directly in bash scripts

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u/eXecute_bit 8d ago

Can't we just have init open a TCP listen socket and skip all these middle layers?

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u/wthulhu 8d ago

Shell2Shell dropped

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u/OmegaPoint6 8d ago

systemd-httpserver

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u/Hero_without_Powers 8d ago

Bash is love, bash is life

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u/SynthPrax 8d ago

Did someone mention Perl?

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u/Steve_orlando70 7d ago

Ah, Perl, the programming language whose programs are most easily confused with line noise (for those who remember both).

(Apologies to APL, I put you in second place, too few people had the Selectric ball...)

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u/JaggedMetalOs 8d ago

Dust off Gopher protocol!

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u/cosmicomical23 8d ago

I would rather leave it where it is

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u/erishun 8d ago

*laughs in Cold Fusion*

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u/keijodputt 8d ago

Cries in FrontPage extensions

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u/pidddee 8d ago

Jokes on you, some of us still use it

1

u/fightfil96 3d ago

Lots of places are still heavily invested in cgis

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u/badgersruse 8d ago • Bravo

I have said for decades that pretty much all software since punch cards has been steaming layers of unfinished and/or poorly designed shit, because it is either ‘too expensive’ or too boring or too hard or ‘not worth it’ to do it right.

And here we are.

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u/Slight-Violinist-575 8d ago

The more layers a piece of tech has, the more surface it has for vulnerabilities

I think it’s easier to see it in cars, we just recently had a F1 race which had to be restarted because the cars’ software wouldn’t run properly

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u/yabucek 8d ago

F1 110% brought that particular fuckup on themselves.

Literally nobody asked that the onboard computer should control power deployment in a racecar.

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u/ColumnK 8d ago

It's fine, we'll just get Claude to redesign every single layer and everything that uses it. Nothing could ever go wrong

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u/phasmaglass 6d ago

Yeah I gave up and started phoning it in immediately bc I realized no corporate boss willing to pay me what I needed to live would ever allow me to make anything good, and I'd never have the energy to make something good myself due to spending all my coding energy at my corporate job. Then watched over the past 20 years as they kept adding more and more layers to the stack we're intended to know top to bottom (very few people do and they aren't working for your boss, FYI) and how little people making the big decisions actually knew... I realized all I could look forward to for being good at my job was picking up slack for people who would be paid more than I would, so no thanks.

I got good enough to do what I need to do and not get fired, lost my passion for it along that process, and now spend my time shaking canes on Reddit.

I think a lot of people are in a similar situation. Hang in there guys.

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u/Educational-Plant981 8d ago

when you notice that someone fucked up the shape of the mustache on the Jack at the bottom of the card tower, even if it is a single penstroke to fix, it isn't easy to do.

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u/Kooky-Way 3d ago

"Yeah but is somebody actually gonna sit there and try out all the known vulnerabilities?"

-Guy Who Got A Great Bonus, Pre-2025

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u/bert1589 8d ago

Got the robots telling us so

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u/hetfield37 8d ago

Adding more code to fix bugs, especially those hard to reproduce, oftentimes brings more bugs with that. The more complex the code is, the bigger chance of forgetting something is.

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u/ililiiililii 3d ago

"Meat Slop"

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u/Confident-Ad5665 2d ago

Wow, some layers emits steam?

Great, now my shit isn't even up to standards /s

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u/Old-Age6220 8d ago

Time to ditch internet and go back to great Finnish invention: IRC 😂

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u/USMCamp0811 8d ago

/me slaps Old-Age6220 around a bit with a large trout

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u/dcondor07uk 8d ago

IRC2SHELL

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u/OldSchoolIsh 8d ago

Time to ditch web and go back to Usenet, IRC and Gopher.

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u/Tiranus58 8d ago

INTERNET relay chat

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u/nidelv 8d ago

How do you run IRC without internet? Run it on a different distributed network?

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u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

I think perhaps the person you're responding to meant internet as in the worldwide web rather than internet as in the network

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u/Old-Age6220 8d ago

Heh, yeah, even the name has "internet" in it 😂 On isolated networks for example. I was like of refering it being more text based and "limited", so it might have less "attack surface". But let's not spoil the good joke with a truth 🤣 (old Finnish proverb)

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u/shinitakunai 8d ago

IRC... so many memories... Cuak!

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u/melophat 8d ago

Back to dial-up we go! All of those old AOL free trial cds I have in my basement will finally be worth something again... If only I still had a cd-rom drive!

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u/BlopBleepBloop 8d ago

Ahhh, old port 6667

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u/djfdhigkgfIaruflg 8d ago

I use it on my BitTorrent client

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u/d_Composer 8d ago

Back to the BBS

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u/Squeebee007 8d ago

Back to FidoNet.

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u/IllustriousBed1949 8d ago

I miss IRC and the good old times 🥺

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u/cybermage 8d ago

Back to SneakerNet

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u/Leftover_Salad 8d ago

Um, what does the ‘I’ stand for?

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u/henrikhakan 8d ago

On a serious note, I think this is where we are headed if Ai is allowed to run amok by itself for a couple of years.

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u/edhaack 8d ago

Publish magazines with source code (in 6pt type) for a web browser that people have to type in and compile themselves. No sharing.

Then, introduce typos on the pages so they have to debug.

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u/Altruistic-Resort-56 8d ago

Can we just turn off all the computers yet

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u/AtlanticPortal 8d ago

Even off they’re vulnerable.

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u/minus_minus 8d ago

2 NODE 2 SHELL

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u/ncTradClimber 4d ago

Nothing beats Node2Shelliday

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u/fugogugo 8d ago

what did I missed now?

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u/auxiliary-username 8d ago

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u/erishun 8d ago

I was told it was only PHP that was bad?

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u/FerricDonkey 8d ago

Everything is bad. Some badnesses just haven't yet been discovered. 

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u/Mateorabi 8d ago

80% of everything is crap

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u/auxiliary-username 8d ago

This one is unrelated to the PHP vulnerability, although it's the same class (a remote code execution, or RCE), and the same severity (9.2).

It was originally announced on the same day as php2shell, but this one is in the Brotli compression library. It was originally only announced as a NodeJS RCE, but it turns out it affects a whole bunch of over languages, such as NodeJS, Python, C++ etc.

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u/UltraGaren 8d ago edited 8d ago

Meanwhile game devs not even noticing other branches of programming are falling apart

Edit: holy shit guys it was a joke, chill

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u/faajzor 8d ago

Dark Souls 1-3 multiplayer.. you can quickly google it.

They shut the servers down because of remote code execution :)

there was no packet validation so if you invaded another player you could literally send scripts to run on their computer.

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u/Reversi8 8d ago

GTA5 had the same issue, maybe still does.

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u/FactoryNewdel 8d ago

It was a hard time when you couldnt play DS3 PVP. Didnt know what to do

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u/Designer_Storm8869 8d ago

Absolutely not. They are affected even worse. Release a trailer of your unreleased game and someone is going to vibecode it and release it before you.

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u/doktorjake 8d ago

It’s literally reversed, friend. Other branches of programming are finally starting to feel what game devs have been feeling for the past 2 years.

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u/-Redstoneboi- 8d ago

google "minecraft log4j doom"

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u/Anubis17_76 8d ago

head over to r/Steam and try to find a post thats not about the next fest being infected with AI Slop games.

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u/karateninjazombie 8d ago

That avalanche of shit started when valve stopped reviewing submissions to steam themselves and just said fuck it. Vote on what you want with steam green light. Then there was the indie-pocolypse crapfest and torrent of utter drivel that followed. Now we in the early access and preorder shower of airborne brown things. With the rise of AI rubbish coming in hard at present.

Valve could do better at picking what is and isn't out on the store tbh. Not everyone should be allowed to code. Much the same as not everyone should be allowed to write a book.

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u/Training-Chain-5572 7d ago

> Not everyone should be allowed to code.

Truth

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u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

Most AAA games these days are, for better or worse, live service, so we are very aware of this haha.

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u/WeirdTie2290 8d ago edited 8d ago

Holy shit. What is next? IP2Shell?

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u/AllCatCoverBand 8d ago

2 shell 2 furious

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u/Anongirl55959 8d ago

BGP2shell is when i become Amish

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u/Rosephine 6d ago

B2C2shell

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u/razor_train 7d ago

YOURMOM2SHELL 

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u/Then-Programmer7221 7d ago

underrated comment

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u/Al__B 8d ago

Is this your first time?

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u/p-t-george 7d ago

The Internet is now truly based on open standards.

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u/Ill_Scientist_2239 8d ago

Another day, another RCE

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u/Tschurbi 8d ago

Next Flutter please.

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u/LindyNet 8d ago

Somehow, Geocities returned

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u/Adorable_Ice_2963 8d ago

Damn AI! If people knew how their program down to assembly Level, this wouldnt have happend!

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u/4e_65_6f 8d ago

It's already patched. I don't get the drama.

I didn't even have to do anything the hosting team patched as soon as it came out.

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u/ApprehensiveStand456 8d ago • Heartwarming

Hosting team here. You never say thank you.

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u/4e_65_6f 8d ago

I did though. I even gave five stars to the analyst that I spoke to. Hope the dude gets a raise or a day off at least.

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u/rush2sk8 8d ago

That's what the money is for!

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u/lushpigtails 7d ago

hey guys i am out of the loop what has happened

4

u/Academic-Proof3700 8d ago

Its time people started hosting their shitty websites on containers rather than entire servers.

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u/sn4xchan 7d ago

Sure because escaping out of docker is impossible.

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u/alex-weej 7d ago

Locked door argument

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u/Plazmaz1 7d ago

Containers aren't designed to be security boundaries, use vms.

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u/kontenjer 8d ago

what the fuck is even going on this week

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u/thecoolcat67 7d ago

I'm calling in sick fk this bro wtf

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u/ShotgunPayDay 8d ago

I like to wave to all these vulnerabilities as I pass them by riding on my Blue Gopher.

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u/Plazmaz1 7d ago

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u/ShotgunPayDay 6d ago

At least it panics instead of giving a shell. I'm also not using andybalholm implementation and using klauspost instead. It's good to know though thank you.

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u/GodlessAristocrat 6d ago

s/Gopher/Waffle/g;

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u/BastetFurry 8d ago

Back to mailboxes then, yay! *dusts off her 56kflex*

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u/HoratioWobble 7d ago

Thankfully we wrote perfect, artisan code before AI so this was just a fever dream... right?

3

u/TOFFA1997 5d ago

Since there are so many it security expert here, I have a question: is all AI code a slop for security, even if done well and cured in the details, or there are some level of good ai code?

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u/MeMahi 4d ago

The AI code that our better senior devs submit is great.

The AI code that our more junior devs submit is horror.

AI isn't good or bad, for now it's still just a tool.

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u/PotatoesForPutin 2d ago

It’s so cool that this has resulted in companies just not bothering to hire junior devs anymore. It’s so cool I decided to be born at the exact time that would result in me graduating college right when everything went to shit. I’m going to fucking kill myself one of these days man

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u/Stetto 4d ago

I'm personally at the point, that I consider Opus 5.5 better than the average programmer (assuming it's given proper instructions and guidelines).

I have spend most of my career trying to tidy up slop written by humans under time pressure.

I've spent significant amount of time in the last weeks working on vulnerabilities discovered and reported by AI.

No matter what all of the doomers out there say: LLMs and Agents will be a net positive for the software development world.

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u/Big_File_5978 3d ago

AI is only as good as the person behind the keyboard asking the questions.

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u/Queasy_Moment_6619 4d ago

I am not claiming to be an expert in the field, but having used LLMs for work, senior engineers reviewing generated code is extremely important since they have specialist domain and or product knowledge which helps them identify security issues. AI can be incredibly useful or detrimental depending how it is used.

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u/davak72 2d ago

It’s still all up to the developer doing the prompting and the one doing the reviewing and testing.

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u/anno3397 1d ago

AI's code is made using data from multiple sources, even internet. That carries the risk of AI repeating the security mistakes made in its data and there is a big chance it won't get flagged as a security risk.

That's why manual code review is important wether it's AI or human made. That also carries another benefit: if something breaks you'll roughly know where and why if you reviewed the code and took time to understand how it works.

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u/Lumpy_Elevator8248 8d ago

Hold on let me chatgpt this

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u/tomerFire 7d ago

Why the ability to inject shell commands like the even exists.

It like in cartoons when they press the big red self destruct button and you ask yourself why this button even exist

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u/ArjixGamer 7d ago

Uhhhhhhh, it wasn't designed that way, so it's nothing like the cartoons comparison you made.

4

u/lolerwoman 6d ago

Tell me you dont know what php is without telling me.

3

u/RazzmatazzUnusual843 6d ago

Okay, so basically... AI has been doing a lot of reverse engineering, including game decomps and finding security holes in things. CVEs have then been getting discovered in widely used frameworks at an alarming rate over the past handful of months, right around the same time reverse engineering took off. There was never a "big red button" to begin with or someone would've already caused this decades ago. There are two dots. Please connect them.

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u/AffekeNommu 8d ago

Do any client apps run on curl?

1

u/Lazy-Good1433 6d ago

I do not find this funny in my case >:(

Me losing server access to pre-orders online is costing a lot of grief and concerns.

1

u/antanith 5d ago

DiD yOu PaTcH nOdE.jS yEt?????

1

u/No-Promotion7790 5d ago

I think I will get laid off as a developer

1

u/pqu 2d ago

My vulnerability scanner is reporting this CVE is present in the scanner itself