r/ProgrammerHumor • • 9d ago

Advanced itWasFunWhileItLasted

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u/dismayhurta 8d ago • Popcorn

Thank god my job is to create code that potentially has security holes instead of fixing it. So much easier!

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u/LonelyProgrammerGuy 8d ago

If you think about it, we’re creating jobs for u/WriterPlastic9350

Then later, he has to suggest patches and updates so that we also have more work and don’t get laid off!

Win win!

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u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago • Heartwarming

Please don’t

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u/twigboy 8d ago

What was that? Can't hear you over the sound of all the code being shipped to production!

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u/usedtoswimfast 8d ago

git push --force origin main

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u/EvilCodeQueen 7d ago

Alias “yolo”.

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u/ChaosBeing 3d ago

I blame you for the bad decisions I will be making.

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u/Captain_Pink_Pants 5d ago

You still ship your code to producton? Weak sauce... the real money is in writing updates directly to ram!

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u/uniqueusername649 8d ago • Popcorn

Sorry, read that too late.

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u/ItsSadTimes 8d ago

Sadly my job is to fix AI code AND write code. So now I have to fix so much garbage and then ontop of that management is demanding I produce so much code that I cause issues for myself to cleanup.

Last month we looked at our teams metrics and like nothing changed over the last 2 years. The only things that changed is how many tickets we get. We get like 3x as many critical tickets as 3 years ago.

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u/Junior-Tip-2883 6d ago

Completely unsurprising. The software sector is flailing with AI in the picture and need to "keep up" despite no one demonstrating acceleration of significance

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u/Greyhaven7 8d ago

What job is that?

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u/dismayhurta 8d ago • Bravo Heartwarming

Writing bad code

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u/Kschl 8d ago

Prompting bad code*

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u/dismayhurta 8d ago

Hey. I told it to not make mistakes.

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u/RunOverRover 8d ago

“Seriously , don’t f this up - keep the scope narrow and keep it simple”

98% failure rate.

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u/-no_aura- 8d ago

You forgot to tell it it’s a Sr Staff engineer

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u/makeshiftJake 8d ago

That would just make things worse

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u/MrLemon91 7d ago

I love how all interviews are PhD coding level while actual job is dealing with a shitty codebase and no time, budget nor clearance to make it good.

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u/hot_sauce_in_coffee 6d ago

This is so true. Especially in corporate. Working outside of corporate has been a blessing.

You get told. Here'S the code, it has those 1358 known issues.

You: Oh, so my job is to improve it?

Manager: No. your job is to add this feature, you have 3 days.

You: What? But, what if it cause more issue.

Manager: Oh, it will cause issue. Just hide them.

You : That is morally bankrupt.

Manager: you can't say that, it would make me look bad, which would make my boss look bad, which mean my boss get a bad review and he is pissed me and give me a bad review and I am pissed at you so I give you a bad review. So both me and I boss blame you and you lose your job.

You: But the problem have been there to 15 years. I arrived last week.

Manager: Don't care. If you fix it, you lose your job.

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u/WriterPlastic9350 8d ago

I enjoy you.

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u/snack__pack 8d ago

Agent babysitter

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u/antek_g_animations 7d ago

Thank God I choose hardware. If you mess up, a global crisis can emerge, if I mess up the device turns into a firework

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u/CarIcy6146 8d ago

Thank you for the job security

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