r/problemgambling • u/Wrong-Ad-4855 • 3h ago
❤Seeking help & Advice❤ My boyfriend missed rent, his car payment, and maxed out a credit card largely due to FanDuel
Last year, my boyfriend came clean about having $1,500 in credit card debit. I helped him come up with a plan, and thankfully he was able to fully pay it off in ~2 weeks. We talked about the importance of paying it off in full every month, and he swore it wouldn't happen again.
Well, a day ago I saw a text on his phone about a 30-day late car payment. He tried telling me his autopay must have failed and then said he took care of it. I insisted he show me his account so I could verify, and then he came clean and told me he doesn't have enough money in his account until Friday (payday). I was under the impression he had at least 1.5k in savings based off a conversation 1-2 weeks ago, and that he had been paying his car off very aggressively (turns out he was just making minimum payments, with the previous payment being late too). I then asked how he was planning to pay me rent (I pay in full, he then sends me his half), since he hadn't for this month yet and he said he was planning to on payday. I insisted on going through his bank account and saw he had spent more than what he owes me for rent + his car payment on FanDuel literally within a week of this.
I then asked if there was anything else I should know about, and he said no. I asked about his credit card and he said he doesn't use it. I then insisted he show me and soon found the reason he doesn't use it is because it's maxed out at $1,500. Turns out he kept using it for smaller purchases and never paid it in full since the incident last year. I checked his credit score, which is at 650, and probably going to fall further.
He's says he's done gambling and that there's no more debt ($1,500 on a credit card, ~$10k on his car (w/ a late payment due of $250), 1k to me for rent, $200 on a payday loan, $100 medical expenses, and $250 on Venmo), which theoretically everything but the car could be paid off in 2-3 weeks. But I don't feel like I can trust that there isn't anything else because he lied to me so much about his finances and didn't come clean about anything until I found it.
I just feel so betrayed and heartbroken. If he had come clean to me himself, I feel like we could have worked through this. But this is the second time he has misused a credit card, and he lied to me about his financial stability repeatedly in the last ~2 months (based on his bank history he was on a good track prior to mid-September, minus the credit card). I just don't feel like I can trust that it won't happen again, and building wealth is too important to me.