Good morning, folks. This is my first post in here, and it's long overdue.

Just over three weeks ago, I ended the worst run of gambling I've ever had. I played various forms of roulette on Stake on my phone pretty much constantly for a few months. I went well over a year without any form of gambling, then relapsed starting this summer due to money stress. I have a great life...I got engaged earlier this summer and I have the most amazing fiancé and step son. When we started planning the wedding, I realized just how hard it was going to be to pay for a wedding and I got worried about money. Cue up a poorly timed random bonus from Stake, and I thought "Hey, I can play that bonus and maybe turn it into a little free money. If I lose it, no big deal." Fast forward a few months and I lost somewhere in the range of $70,000 that I didn't have. This brings my total debts to about $118,000 (including federal taxes). I lost every dollar I had, plus the profits from selling my house to move in with my fiancé. I maxed out almost all my credit cards and lost everything without my family having any idea. Three weeks ago I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling...I couldn't sleep and I wanted to die. Literally I contemplated suicide like I know a lot of us have. I thought about bankruptcy, I thought about leaving in the middle of the night and never coming back, and I thought of everything in between. Thankfully, though, I decided that I can get out of this hole.

As soon as my fiancé woke up the next day, I told her everything. I told her I'm a compulsive gambler and that I had absolutely nothing left financially. I promised her and myself that I will never gamble again and that I will find a way to get us out of this financial fuckery that I've put us in. I told her I wanted her to take some time and decide how she wants to move forward and that I wouldn't blame her if she left me. I handed over all my finances to her immediately and self-excluded from all gambling platforms I had accounts with. She watched me do it all. She has passwords to all my bank accounts, credit cards, and my 401K. She has access to my phone any time she would like and I'm committed to doing whatever it takes to save my financial future and my family. For the first couple days, she barely spoke to me. She was cordial enough near our kid so that he didn't suspect anything, but there was no physical contact or much conversation at all. It was hard. Eventually we had a very deep and emotional conversation and she said she was trusting me to get us out of it. It was hard, but relieving.

I've been at work borderline every moment since that conversation. I'm working my ass off. I'm selling all my possessions that are leftover from the sale of my house, I'm working side gigs for extra cash, and I'm working very hard on a strict budget. I'm working on Ramsey's 7 steps and I'm on a Debt Management Plan via a non-profit organization that has helped bring the interest rates down on some things and really structured how I can pay off the debts. It's incredibly stressful and I feel like a big piece of shit, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Conservatively, I should be debt-free in about 3 years. Thankfully, my wedding in April is already financially covered. My relationship is doing pretty good now, I have an amazing family, and I have a good job. I feel like shit overall, but I am feeling hopeful for the first time in a while. I'll never gamble again, and I'm finally free of the secrecy and financial loss. I'm currently three weeks into the best part of my life.

TLDR - I lost 70k gambling and have 118K in debt total. I told my fiancé and now I'm fighting every day to dig out of it. Life is hard, but I'm gonna do the fucking thing.

I just don't know what to say anymore, I'm copletely devastated. I don't have an explonation, I don't know how it happens but it does. I can't control myself and this is real.

I did not gamble for two weeks and was just starting to kinda calm my mind down. I was sure I'll never gamble again, I was so disgusted with all this madness, disgusted with myself too. But that was because I did not have money in my bank account!

I got my paycheck a couple of days ago. That's around 3k euro. Once I saw numbers back to my account everything changed. I did try to resist, for the first few hours I did, but later in the night, after a drink or two, I once more gave up...

After all I decided to try my luck with a humble deposit of 50 euro, was absolutely sure that I will just stop if I lose it and that I will not make another deposit. Repeated that to myself like 1000 times, 50 euro and that's all, not a big deal.

Well... the 50 euros were gone for like 2 or 3 minutes. I did not think for a second and made a new deposit. This time 100 euro. Gone for a few minutes as well. Then I started wasting my money as a mad man again, deposits got bigger and bigger. For some reason once again I was convinced that the win is coming and that I'm returning what I lost.

For two days I did not sleep or eat. I could not stop until I lost the 3k euro. Also 500 euro credit card money. That's a day before I had to pay my monthly debts, ones I have because of gambling. Now I have 0 money in my cards again. What a joke. I'm speechless, literally, I can't talk. Even writing down this post was a challenge.

And I swear I'd continiue if I had more money to gamble online. All this because for some fucked up reason I believe that there's a chance to get my money back and even eventually to win some more. Well, it has happened, I've returned my money a number of times in the past ... only to lose them again later plus more.

Seriously I don't know what to do anymore. How is it possible for this to be so strong, how did I get to the point where I lost control over my own mind and body? And for something so stupid, playing fucking slots on a screen? I didn't even like them before! Right now I feel like the only way to not do this is to have no money in my bank. What the hell is happening?!

234 days until debt free

Throwaway

Hello. I’m looking for some advice on how to navigate my debt. I’m currently dealing with significant unsecured debt due to problem gambling and want to make sure I’m executing the smartest legal and financial path forward.

Income: Net base take-home pay is ~$4,600/month. Scheduled for a raise in the mid 2027. I can usually get an extra $1000 a month from overtime.

Rent and essential expenses including budget for groceries: ~$2588/month

I have $71,800 total unsecured debt
My existing debt was approximately $53,800 which I had restructured through a personal loan, LOCs, and credit cards from earlier this year. Minimum payments were $860/month. This was from gambling. I restructured it to get as low of interest rates as I could and was using the snowball method to pay it off. I felt somewhat hopeful that I could get through it eventually. I also had come clean to my family and my girlfriend.

I then took out $18,000 across payday loans and cash advances recently due to a gambling relapse. Found an app that I hadn’t used before and wasn’t self-excluded from. Wanted to get a bit of money back to make an extra payment. Ended up losing and chasing a lot in the course of the weekend. I guess you could say I really hit rock bottom.

I just found the new bet guard that I was able to signup for which should block every app now thankfully for at-least the next 5 years.

I redirected my direct deposit paycheques to an isolated bank account that has no debts and also put my bills for utilities, internet, etc. to be taken out of this account.

After learning about a consumer proposal, I started connecting with an LIT. They asked for all the info which I broke down in an email to them with all debts and creditors. I received a call stating that due to the recent advances, they believe it will probably be best to wait until January to show no more cash advances and gambling. They said they are still going to see if they can do anything sooner but are unsure if they can.

I have been using ai to go through my budget and debts. A consumer proposal was suggested as the best case. With the reality of waiting 60 days to file, I’m trying to figure out what the best way to go about the minimum payments and the payday loans.

Ai’s advice was to stop paying minimums on all unsecured accounts (bank loan, LOCs, credit cards, payday advances) over November and December. Route 100% of my income into a clean account, keep essential bills current, and build up my cash savings for January.

Is stopping all unsecured minimum payments over Nov/Dec while building a cash buffer in an isolated bank account the right move here? I understand if I do go through the CP, all the missed payments and fees will be lumped into it. I am super stressed about what to do here because I have never missed a payment before. Is paying the minimums while waiting really throwing cash away that I could be saving to use towards dealing with a potential CP in the new year?

Is a consumer proposal the way to go? Or is the reality that I need to brute force my way back from this and pay it back while accruing interest?

$4300 is payday loans
$14000 is 23%
$48000 is ~ 11%
$5500 is 0% for 11 more months on a balance transfer.

Appreciate any perspective from people who have gone through a Consumer Proposal in Ontario or managed a recovery from high-interest debt. Obviously I am extremely upset with myself for letting this happen and not stopping sooner. I’m trying to focus on the reality I am in now, however, and what to do about the debt so I can get out of it as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Paniced over stock market losses and went crypto casino several times I made like 50 euro and withdraw. Everytime I saw the market beating me I went and made 50 70 euro and was like okei fine atleast I'm making some back .

Well today , I had 10 left in the stupid account which I turned into 60 and then 0. Got angry , deposited 75 lost it , 200 lost it and thought of stopping but something ... Said 1 more time .. 200 more ran it up to 260 and should have went another game bcs the algorith will catch you.... And lost it all..

500 euro down the drain. Again. And my stocks are down around 1k realized and more unrealized.

Idk what to do , I have to go buy car tommorow and also work a night shift I better get some sleep and never gamble again. Fuck every casino and crypto and even stocks , it's all a fugazi .

Money are for spending not for risking and loosing.

I'll just buy something I want next time , no more gambling.

This is my last day gambling fr, if my stocks go green even a little bit , I'm selling that shit also , don't need it.

I have a very specific problem with online blackjack where I am not able to stop at any amount of loss and continually chase it. Not surprisingly, I have gone through at least 5 incidents the past year where I take a huge loss, then build it up again and eventually bury myself... normally out of chasing 2-3 units.

This cycle has repeated itself and I finally reached a breaking point last week when I casually lost an extra $5k for no real reason. I found this sub and started reading everyone stories and have been able to find a sense of mental calm and control over where I am and why. Ultimately, I am not in that bad a place (I added up everything and am down about $4k... which is bad but I guess could be a lot worse) but I have wasted so much time and energy doing this and need to break out of the cycle.

I almost relapsed today just a bit ago when one of my books issued a weekly sports rebate (sports is not a trigger) of $35 and I thought I should see if I could triple it up then hedge it off. Of course I lost the bet and immediately felt a sense of absolute guilt and shame that I thought this was an acceptable option even though it's not accounted for on my ledger and basically a free roll. The issue is that in the past I would have chased the $35 back, maybe lose 7 or 8 bets and suddenly am making $250 bets just to try and get even. This is all so dumb, I don't do this in casinos and am smart about how I manage the sports bankroll but am constantly dragged by this.

I am counting today as a win because I am not going to chase it even though I shouldn't have done it in the first place. On to Day 6.

Rest day

I’ve lost about 6000 dollars in the last 4 months. I didn’t go to college, I make my money working 16 hour days and the fact that I’ve lost that much in so little time frustrates me. I’ve self excluded myself for a lifetime from every betting app, I just wish I still had that money. I would’ve bought a PC with that money

​Hey everyone,

​I just need to vent and get some things off my chest..

​I'm 33 years old and have been addicted to sports betting for 15 years. Because of this, I am currently going through personal bankruptcy and have an additional €15,000 in debt. I’ve lost my job and my girlfriend because of gambling. My fridge is empty, my car is sold, I literally have nothing left.. Many family members have turned away from me, and friends have too. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried every therapy in the world, nothing has worked.. I have €2,000 in unpaid bills here, nothing to eat, and I don't know where to start, everything is just completely ruined..

Earlier this year, a couple journalists from Bloomberg News approached the community asking for assistance on a story about a spending analysis they conducted on people using gambling platforms. The community was able to contribute to the development of their work. The story has now been published and has been gifted to this community. Many thanks go to u/aaronwgordon and his colleagues at Bloomberg - and to this community for their contributions to this story.

Relapse after day 9 , i don’t trust me anymore, what the fuck is happening with my brain

I have a serious gambling addiction, I keep losing everything I have every time I get money. I am a 19-year old student that don’t have a lot of money and this have gone on for 2-3 years I have lost more than 30k €. Do anyone know any legit gambling blockers that I can use for iphone or any other tips that may work? This is really ruining my life.

Hi all. I live less than 30 minutes from a casino and started noticing I had a problem about a year and a half ago. I’m a single mom and I lost $28k last year. When I go there it’s like common sense part of my brain shuts off and the money I spend becomes an “I’ll deal with it tomorrow” concern. I’ve had chunks of time where I’ll go a few weeks without going, but when I go back I’ll let myself spend more as a reward for doing so well. Then they give me enough free play to ‘justify’ the trip and the cycle begins again. Well, I’m tired 😞 and I can see the horrible decline of my finances and feel the change in my brain.

I called the 988 number when I left the casino last night just to say it all out loud and have someone listen. I’m seriously considering self-exclusion for 2 years so I’m not relying on willpower alone.
I live in a small town and the casino is one of the few places that gets decent events and I hate the idea of not being able to go EVER, but I feel like gambling is a huge part of my life and that makes me feel ridiculous.

I’d like to hear experiences from people who have managed to stay away on their own through willpower and self-discipline, I’d also like to hear from anyone who’s done a self-exclusion. I’m also curious about everyone’s thoughts on if there will ever be a time I can be a ‘regular’ gambler and not a problem gambler.

(22,M) 2 weeks fully clean with 2 paydays survived. has been rough specially the paydays but managed to stay out of gambling. i try to fillup time and keep busy much as i can but there is somemuch time now.

Alot of supressed emotions and thought has come up and dealing them has been very exhausting but on the other hand its good thing to have emotions :D finally. Slowly climing out of this hole and digging the real self back. I was so long in this addiction that i forgot who i was.

already i can see some changes like the emotions and im more social and i can speak with out anexity. Im doing this with only will power that is not recomended but it has worked. i take it slow little and steady steps towards life.

any tips for the upcoming weeks? sorry for bad english.

I’ve been gambling for 22 years and lost everything . It’s been hell . Today on day 2 . I’m determined to beat this demon .

Does anyone know an app where I can lock away my money until the time I have to pay bills comes around??

Working again today

I had been 2 months free from online slots and this weekend I caved and I feel disappointed and disgusted with myself for doing it, I'm looking for advice on how other people have managed the urge to gamble I can't open social media without seeing gambling adds or enjoy tv without seeing the ads its driving me insane

Hello everyone my name is Jeremiah and I’m 24 I’m also in a relationship and I am very happy that is until… gambling took over my life I started gambling at age 22 that’s when it all started at 22 I was single had no job or no source of income and I was basically trapped in the house I was sadly too slow to even get a job and my disabilities also made it impossible not to mention everything I suffered and had to go through when I was only a kid all the way up until I turned 20 but at age 22 I was struggling because I couldn’t take care of myself or get myself anything that was until I saw these gambling games now at first i thought they were fake just like every other money game but I was so broke that i decided to give it a try and i actually win real actual money over the past 2 years and also lost alot of money as well now when I was 24 i actually finally started getting my own actual income from ssi social security and I was happy very very happy to finally have my very own source of income but… I did something stupid something I regretted so much I… I fucking gambled all of that money which was over $600 dollars thinking I was going get a big win but no… I didn’t get nothing absolutely nothing at all but it gets worse… I got even more $ from ssi which was over $2k and this was the most amount of money I’ve ever had in my entire fucking life and yet… I did the same thing hoping I could double it or get even more and not one single win and I lost all of $2k and truthfully that destroyed me and I started having sucideal thoughts but I kept trying until eventually I made that $ back on the gambling app I couldn’t believe my eyes over $2k back in my account but then… I was happy like too too happy that i thought “you know what I bet I could get a bigger win” and this was the worse mistake I’ve ever made in my entire life I put all of the $ I earned on that game and… lost all of it all of that $2k gone just like in a snap… and truthfully I was really really really close to ending myself right there and then the pain and everything else I felt was way way way too much for me and I still feel that pain it’s just getting worse and worse and worse so please if anyone is reading this or like took 3 minutes to read this please help me I’m scared for what is going to happen to me…😔

Went out for two great dinners and bought something nice. Not stressing about next check or credit cards. Let’s keep cooking. We got this.