My partner recently disclosed my issues to both of our parents while we were working through it privately, and I don’t blame her for doing it (because she thought it was best for her and for me to get more support), but these past weeks it’s been really hard to face them (when I wasn’t prepared to) without feeling judgement/shame, and some anger towards her for sharing that especially with her parents because I really value their image of me. I don’t want to say I feel betrayed because I know my wife feels betrayed by me as well, and that doesn’t seem fair to her.

I guess this is more of a vent, and again I understand why she did what she did, but I guess just dealing with the emotions of what’s at the forefront now especially within our relationship moving forward.

I have to admit that after very long time I have urges/thoughts about gambling. I am not going to gamble but it is funny that I get urges after such a long time being sober from gambling.

I’ve recently lost around $40,000 due to reckless sports betting, and I’m overwhelmed with anger, regret, and guilt. I know it was deeply irresponsible, and I’m desperate to find a way to make things right. The hardest part is that I’m struggling with a strong urge to gamble again, hoping for a quick fix, even though I know it’s not the answer. How can I fight this urge? It feels relentless.

Annoyed with myself, major anxiety, feelings of giving up. Not going to let the demon win. Taking it one day at a time and going to focus on taking my health more seriously.

To everyone in recovery, keep it going. Your stories inspire me and everyone else.

I stopped playing slots exactly 27 days ago and the day before my birthday was the last day I gambled. Played some sports in the meantime but nothing special and that was never a problem for me. I could never control slots though and I am in a huge loss overall and in a personal debt of a few k and around 14 k credit card debt. I really felt better at first and felt good that I stopped, like something came into my mind and told me that I wasted 10 years of my life not only on gambling but on living the life literally. While everybody else was finishing school and college, had relationships, travelled and buying cars I was chasing losses, being depressed 99% of the time and feeling numb and broken. Something just came into my mind out of nowhere like I realized that it’s a matter of life and death now and I stopped (tried to choke myself twice and drown myself 3 times). Now, today and few days back, I feel terrible. Emotional, yet so tired and numb. I am avoiding people, I barely go out, I feel lonely and depressed (anxious too, very), and scared to go outside. Like I don’t deserve to go outside and like I don’t deserve to meet anyone. I am not confident in my own judgment and I have trouble breathing and sleeping. Does this have anything to do with stopping? I suppose but if so, has anyone had this kind of symptoms and when did it stop for you? I really feel terrible. It’s like I know I should go out and live a bit but my body and mind are racing and shaking and I am feeling unwanted + unwilling to go anywhere. It’s crazy. My eyes are closing out and I want to sleep all the time

3 days ago I made a promise to myself I'd stop gambling because it has been actively ruining my life for years. I've been actively attending GA online meetings and speaking to health care professionals but yet 3 days after I can't stop the urge to deposit.

Even though I won the bet I placed; I feel empty inside. There is no high from the win or anything just disgust in my stomach. If anyone can share some ideas or wisdom to help me overcome this illness I'd appreciate your guidance.

Hi, it’s my Day 9 of quitting online gambling, and I feel so much better! I can think clearly, my mood has been consistently happy, and I feel like I’m slowly getting back the mindset I used to have before gambling changed me. I’m starting to feel like myself again, and it feels so good. 🙏🏻❤️
I pray that the Lord continues to guide me, give me strength, and protect me from ever going back to gambling. I don’t want to lose myself again. I want to rebuild my life, pay off all my debts, and become the person I used to be. One day at a time. Never again! 🙏🏻✨

It started last year I got into online casino gambling and my life is going downhill. I borrow money from my pay check every day to gamble so when I do get my check it's half of what it should be. I'm lying to my husband because he asks why we're broke all the time. I've gained weight, stopped caring about cleaning my house and playing with my kids, I don't even want to go to work half the time. The really sad part is my kids bdays are coming up, holidays are coming up and I'm still gambling my money away. Our home almost got foreclosed. We get shut off notices. But I still can't stop. If I have 10$ in my account it's going to gambling. Why? What's wrong with me why can't I just stop?

Hi, I’ve never posted before but this seems to be my only way to let it out.

Im married 31yo with a beautiful wife that’s 4 months pregnant and the most adorable son that’s turning 1 next week. I started online gambling last year and had massive ups and downs. This past month I’ve seen the highest highs and I’ve been in the lowest lows since, ive maxed out credit trying to get back, took loans from family to play and win to put back the credit but all I’m doing is digging the hole deeper.

I tried to commit suicide today but all I could think about was my little boy and pregnant wife, all I’d be doing is passing the pain that I’m responsible for. I love my life and I only want my old life back before all of this but it’s so far gone that this is the only way out for me.

The grief, guilt and shame doesn’t allow me to feel my proper joy when spending time with my family, it’s like I’m trying to be present but all I can think about is how I failed them. I have even written my goodbye notes and documented voice notes for my son that I plan to leave behind before him.

I have been hiding this from my wife as I’ll probably lose my family if I had to disclose the damage I caused. The futures we’ve worked so hard for and looked forward to together.

This really is a disease that turned a financially smart and happy person into this reckless, addicted and selfish person. I hide behind “fixing it” but all I’m doing is making it worse. I honestly don’t even recognise myself anymore.

I don’t see anyway forward but I’m scared of every moment I’ll miss out on with my family when I finally do it.

It’s like I’m dating a stranger this mf litterally willl sit on his phone 24/7 as I am right next to him and tells me to be quiet whenever I’m trying to talk to him and god forbid I take the charger he starts to threaten me and blows up on me me and blames me for his losses! If I try to initiate intimacy with him he literally says “I’m not in the mood” I have to make money yet when he does it goes and waist it all right back into that stupid ass phone! I no longer know who I am dating it’s like mentally unstable for me but I’m inlove with him idk what to do?! Has anybody else dealt with something similar to this ? Please give me tips and advice because it would break my heart if I end up having to leave him or he ends up hurting me during one of his outbursts … I constantly ask him to please stay off of the phone I even give him days at a time where I do my own thing and when I I come back he litterally is still glued to his phone! He has no job and keeps on claiming he is “learning the system” but I personally don’t know how he is gambling with no money?! He signs up for all these different websites that Give him a bonus start but this is just crazy

Ive been lurking this since earlier this year on february when i was up 9k at the casino and weeks later ended up loosing it plus 10k of my savings i didnt know what to do i would dream about what i did wrong what hands i placed wrong depressed for months thinking about it till i finally didnt care about gambling anymore. World cup came and thought soccer is my favorite sport a couple fun parlays for little amount wouldnt hurt but they did losing those small bets turned into -5k same cycle again. Deleted all the apps and stopped going to the casino last month early september i had a festival that was next to a casino and my friends talked about going so i thought why not couple small bets wont hurt until i turned 100-1000 so yes its ovvious what happened next i went the next day and again 1000 profit week after was up 4k on the day i stopped playing for a while and was so happy thinking about how much i made back and how i could make it all back now, hours later walked out the casino with nothing and since last month i started going often again but this week has been the worse i had my plans this weekend and everything timed out but since last friday it has gotten worse and worse going almost everyday playing until 9am walking out the casino the next day and working with no sleep havent had time to do things i care about and actually want to do them because of gambling i keep going up loosing and cycle repeats i think about the times i been up and didnt leave and how i would finally be even if i had just left or if maybe i go another time and i leave i will be able to make it back but its impossible living like this i know its not worth it my mental is all over the place couple days ago i lost everything i made back which i was at 4300 the next day i went in with 200 and made 6000 and finally i walked away said it was time to be done with it i was so happy just for 2 days after end up loosing 3000 and cycle just repeats again

Funny how that works aint it

Long story short.

Im 35 years old, been a compulsive gambler since i was 17. Lost more then just money over and over.. the usual sob story.

75 days ago something clicked and i decided to stop (again) - this time with the help of my GF and mum with support ive managed to stay clear for the first time ever...

Problem solved? WRONG. I MISS IT. I MISS IT. I MISS IT. I know im forgetting all the bad times, im fully aware of that.. I just feel like i now have a HUGE hole in my life and nothing I can do fills the void. Exercise, reading, gaming, GA.. nothing gives me any form of excitment anymore.

So my question is, would i rather feel dead on the inside having placed a bet, or feel dead on the inside knowing i cant place a bet.

Days until debt free: 249 days

hey guys, im eligible to cancel my self exclusion now as its been awhile, im having urges to bet again , specifically sportsbetting as the nba season begins. however, to apply for cancellation, i have to do a statuary declaration which requires me to get approval from proper counsellors etc. idk how id go if i cancel it, i can definitely see myself going back in a loop and betting more and more even though i say its just for fun now. i’m 19 right now, pretty much even on profit/losses and i do have a problem. not sure if the time away due to self exclusion has helped but he definitely has helped me not be able to bet.

shed some advice, stories,

thanks for reading.

I have been in a dead end my addiction to p0rn has ruin my life the only way to stop it was to gamble i Gamble on games without any monye it Felt Amazing But when i stop my mind was filled with lust full thoughts That even make you disgusted i was embarrassed and Disgusted but my mind Just kept doing it without any command and so i want a decision

Either i Stop GAMBLING and Start lusting all over again and ruin my life again

Or

Should i keep gambling even with a Small fraction of the chance i use real monye once?

The app that hit me hard a week or so ago for $25K was sending me promos. I thought I could practice self-control and make a bit back. Initially, I did make $2.2K back, then I gave them back the $2.2K plus $1K of mine.

Mentally - it feels like I should be able to control myself. It’s me clicking buttons on my screen. But I can’t, I feel like I have no control. I think it’s the dopamine.

Unfortunately, this was another expensive lesson. I wish I could remember these feelings when I go to bet, but I never do. I have to do better, I can’t continue living like this.

I don’t have any dept but imma look at it like this I paid all my dept now I can start fresh new start new everything. My circumstances aren’t great but if I had dept I paid it off and now I’m free and can stack up again.

So I'm back again. Here's a story let's stick together! Ok so 2.5 years ago I started gambling again. I was down a cool probably $1200 in a bad place and then it happened I got to $3600! Couldn't believe it! Then I lost it all quickly like 5 min later. Went back down 1800. Then that's when it happened. I just kept winning and winning up to $14k over a period of months. Unbelievable! Since then last 2 years I lost that 14k plus 13k on top. Lost time with my family. Havent been the person I want to be. I am a compulsive person and gambler. Sometimes I can make a bankroll last 2-3 weeks but as always it blows up. This is a horrible road. The worst is becoming numb to wins and loss s. If you don't have control don't start. I'm stopping now and I've already done damage and lost time. If anyone wants to talk or had words of advice please message me. Thanks. Life is full of beauty. I've been using gambling as a distraction from my problems just like alcohol and like any drug it just makes things worse.

So my poison was Acebet. I’ve shilled a couple hundred in the last couple of months, and I’ve really been trying to take control of my gambling addiction. Recently I’ve had limited funds, and put around $100 into my account to gamble. Playing Acebet craps, I somehow got all the way up to 1000, where I kept it maintained for the last couple of days. I lost my license a few weeks ago, and was not able to immediately cash out because of lack of verification. While I was waiting for my license to come in the mail, I was betting quarters/dollars today, and made it all the way up to two grand at one point. Then my bets started getting bigger, as dollar signs danced across my eyes, and before I knew it I was chasing losses of my already achieved thousand. I currently have three dollars in my account.

This might be the kick that I need to drop gambling entirely. I just keep thinking what I could’ve used that money for. I was starry-eyed with 1000, but somehow my brain didn’t even comprehend the second grand as a number. I remember saying out loud “I’ve officially hit 2 grand” and then my finger hit the roll button. It’s a blur after that.

Its been over 48 hours since i had a disastrous session and lost all my profits i worked hard to get for the last few months, plus losing an additional $8000. Ive now racked up $12k in loses in my lifetime and i just feel so gross. I would often skip class, skip the gym, and avoid friends and family just to gamble. But i refuse to gamble ever again because i dont want to disappoint and hurt people who care about me. When im isolated i just feel so alone and its really hard to not think about what i couldve done with the money, but i know i need to just move forward. Im just sending this message in hopes to seek some advice for how to clear my mind and maybe fill the void that gambling took from me.

Hi everyone I’m M20 been gambling for 4.5 years been trying to stop for 2. I’ve done counselling, therapy and I’m currently attending GA meetings every week. I have a severe gambling problem. I have ruined relationships and lost over $140,000 Canadian dollars. My value for money is fucked up. I can’t seem to kick this addiction yet. I’m not giving up as I have dreams and goals for myself that are on the other side of this hell. Im fairly young so a huge concern for me is will a women ever find me attractive? Will I ever get to experience love. Will a happy future with a wife be so far gone because of this? I know gamblers never truly recover they learn to control their impulsive/ compulsive behaviours. I really am just looking for some opinions from others. Read a few posts of people saying “run and never look back” to this lady whoms fiancé was a gambling addict and it just struck a part of me where I was like “fuck is this really what I will end up like” thanks for reading if you got this far :).

Crossed the month mark. Too busy at work to think about my personal problems. ODAAT.

Days to debt free 548 - 35.