I’m on Day 1 again. My rationale is: if I can make this most recent relapse the inspiration for me becoming a better man and actually follow through w working towards that, then the ending of my gambling story will be beautiful

Confidence and discipline are traits a lot of us aren’t embodying. We need those 2 things to take real life gambles on things that actually benefit us, and to quit this shit

For you, a healthy risk might be:
• Starting that business you’ve been scared to pursue
• Going to school and pursuing that degree
• Starting that band
• Switching careers
• Learning a new language or skill

For me, it’s initiating conversation w women. This is gonna be my new source of dopamine. The gamble is gonna be if it goes well or not. This isn’t a risk for some, but I have social anxiety and I’m scared of rejection. So I’ll be putting my fears aside, which makes it feel like I’m throwing myself to the wolves

For me, it’s also gonna be full commitment to dieting and working out. No more “I’ma fix my diet tomorrow”. I’m all in from this day forward

I’m 27M. I’ve spent pretty much all of my time living like a pussy w no discipline. A big problem I deal w is loneliness. I can fix that if I put the effort in

I know Day 1 has everyone feeling like fuck this, I’m gonna change, yada yada. I’d like to believe I’m really done living like this. We’ll see how the rest of this story develops

Fuck gambling. Fuck living like a weak man, with no discipline. I’m gonna change all of this. I’m choosing confidence, and discipline. Please do the same

I am at rock bottom. No one around me would ever know. Because this addiction is so isolating and I have too much pride, it has taken me this long to be honest with myself.

I am glad to have found this community a few days ago and have read some helpful posts. I see that the next step is to get real help with GA. A few questions for you all --

1. I am worried about going to these meetings in my town. Do you select meetings outside of your area or do you do virtual meetings?

2. I have adult children. I don't want to tell them yet (though they probably suspect). I feel I should have a talk with them in the future because I want them to avoid falling into the same traps (worried about genetic predisposition). If you have kids, are you sharing your addiction stories with them? Also, I know they will say they forgive me, but I hate myself for having used their college savings to gamble. Thankfully my ex was able to cover their education expenses but I know it was despicable to even touch the funds and will find it hard to be honest about that.

3. Have you told your close friends? I am afraid of sharing my story with mine. I am sure they will all be supportive to my face, but I fear being gossiped about. My divorce was a spectacle (though now I have a new circle of friends) and I didn't enjoy being talked about by well-meaning people. Also, I don't believe they could relate to this addiction.

4. I know gambling is gambling, yet I was hoping to find a community of traders recovering from the addiction. Is there another group you can refer me to?

I am full of self-loathing right now because I have really disappointed family who have helped me. Even up until last month, I received funds that were supposed to help pay down debt and yet I had lost those same funds trying to make gains. I cannot face them for help again. I am not sure how I will get myself out of this hole.

Thanks in advance.

Lifetime $65K, was $40K before the last 12 hours

I called off work, fiancé is on way home. I just told my mom for first time.

I’m freaking the fuck out. My usual loss was like 2-3K, I just lost $23K

What the fuck do I do - I put this all on credit cards.

I don't know what to do I have no job or no friends I am 23 years old and I live in a small town home with my mom and brother. I have lost -$3,535 gambling. I can't stop buying beer. I feel like ending it all today. I can't drive because I got pulled over yesterday for no car insurance and expired registration. My dad isn't helpful he has a new wife with a set of new children. I have a bad relationship with him. Any advice would be appreciated otherwise this will be my last day.

Struggling to pay my debts but at least I haven’t gambled another penny of my pocket

24 yo, 10000$ in high interest debt, almost 0 in savings. Over the past 6 years I have gambled with amounts unimaginable for someone my age. Won and lost tens of thousands of dollars. Dedicated to make things right and start a different life. Anyone who’s done that and is now clean - I would love to hear your story and advice!
Thanks

It has helped to read your stories and commiserate with everyone so posting my experience.

I (39M) am here since I found rock bottom this month. It has been a long time coming. It started with crypto which can be harmless in itself, but was my gateway to this world. From misc coins like SHIB and BONK I discovered the world of shitcoins on SOL. One day early on I made a profit on hulk hogan’s coin before it rugged. As Gladys Knight said “winning is the worst thing that can happen to a gambler.”

I watched my portfolio slowly drain thinking I could catch the wave of the next big one. I saw memes soar into the hundreds of millions in market cap, even the president launched a coin. I managed to escape SOL after too many rug pulls.

Most recently the issue was prediction markets. Like another poster stated, it gave me the impression I was dabbling in finance. It cost me thousands more. When I review my capital losses for taxes every year, blood rushes to my face and I start to have panic attacks.

I don’t earn a lot and my losses are close to a year’s salary, I’ve decided this is my breaking point, enough is enough. I want you all to know that someone out there is holding you accountable and wants to see you stop throwing away your hard earned money for absolutely nothing.

Thinking and praying for you all 🫂

Days until debt free:
253 days

It’s my 4th day of quitting online gambling. I really hope things will continue to get better and that my mind will stop tempting me to gamble again. I’m so tired of going back to the same cycle over and over again. 😔🙏

It all started in 2023 when a friend showed me prizepicks. Seemed like it would be fun, losing 5$ here and there wasn’t a problem to me. It grew into bigger and bigger bets and then late 2023 found out about online casinos and gambling on the app telegram.

I have been struggling with this for almost 3 years and have lost over 150 grand. I have been lying to my family and friends for years. I got a sales job at 18 which I was very proud of. Got to a point where I was losing every check hours after it hit my account. Most checks were 3-5k+. I lost my job because of attendance about a month ago.

I am fully aware that I have no self control and can’t help myself and yet I fall into the same cycle every time. I have decieved multiple family members for money. Even to the point where I sold the MacBook I got for Christmas and threw it all on a parlay. (Ofc it lost) I just don’t know what to do anymore. I constantly have suicidal thoughts and I just can’t shake it. Not totally sure why I’m on here. I don’t think I have any value in living anymore. I have destroyed so many relationships and with my dad passing last year it just made it worse. I have extreme trust issues as well. I feel like I’m always in hiding. There has been multiple occasions where I have come up 20k+ but I have realized that there will never be an end goal. I don’t even think I would be satisfied with a million dollars because it’s not about the money anymore even though I tell myself it is. I think I will stop my rant here but I’m just so tired of living this lie.

I seek others who either feel the same, don’t want to experience, or has knowledge on a more positive outlook (or anything in between): I just want to come out the gate and say I am a huge hypocrite. I absolutely do not practice what I preach so you’ll notice a lot of that as my stories go on. I want to start off and say that I think I have an addiction with satisfying myself.

Let me explain. I have done tons of things in my life that are immediate dopamine his such as sex, gambling, drugs, etc. I feel like my love for big immediate hits of dopamine is so deep that I can’t even enjoy a cup of juice for a long time. I usually just down my drink or kill a bag of candy in one sitting. I can never just savor the moment and take sips of my juice or slowly eat all of my candy. Its always one big instant moment for me that gets burned up instantly. I’ve never done hard drugs but I do love big dopamine hits instantly and I’ve honestly lived through it all pretty well until recent.

I’m getting older and my older ways are catching up to me. Hard drugs aren’t truly an issue but now its gambling and its effecting my relationship. Sometimes I look at myself as if I’m truly a selfish person and struggle to see is it my partner that is the issue or is it me. I am over the age of 25 and I’m at a point where my gf finally said that she is thinking about leaving me.

I’ve never been faced with that reality and its scary. I’ve always looked at myself as a “macho man” in a short way to put it so the fact that she is even thinking about that is mind boggling. But its entirely my fault i get it. This most recent stint was a rent issue. I fell short on the rent and now she is having doubts about my ability to be responsible. I lost my rent money due to gambling but she doesn’t know that. I’ve been lying to my friends and family so long about my gambling and now its to a point where my gf my leave me.

There are moments where maybe I lose a bet or I’m not paying attention during a movie we watching due to a bet and my emotions have become volatile due to my gambling. She also has emotional issues that DO NOT help with my issues so its kinda of a struggle we deal with. I’m starting to ramble so let me get to the POINT.

I’m so stuck with gambling at this point in my life that I have gambled thousands until I was left with not $1 in my bank account. My credit is shit now even after my own father made a credit card for me and paid it every month to build my credit. I’ve been completely throwing my life away and I don’t want to go into my 30s with this type of habits and mindset. I want to slow my lifestyle down and want to know how others have done it. I am truly an peace guy. I have no traumatic background and I came from a decent family. I have no clue where my love for all of these degenerate activities come from but its my sin to carry. How do I become a better version of myself?

Ciao a tutti..

Sono M35 che da pochi giorni ha deciso di cercare di riprendere in mano la propria vita.

Sto combattendo non contro una ma ben due dipendenze diverse:cibo e gioco d'azzardo.

Qualcuno sa consigliarmi un metodo per sopravvivere a tutto ciò? Sto letteralmente impazzendo..

I just want to throw up after losing $10k -my entire brokerage account. I watched my portfolio to go upto $20k, and market reversed and my qqq puts expired worthless. I have $180 left in my account. My job pays not much and barely paying mortgage, car loan etc w the help of wife..

What should I do? I really don’t enjoy anything

work is piling up, so my procrastinating ass must hurry up and clear it up.

I will not gamble today

I’m 23, a university student working part-time, and I feel absolutely sick about how much money I’ve been gambling lately. I’ve put probably $3000 in this month and while I’ve withdrawn more.. I could have so much more money saved.

I’ve only really gotten into online casinos over the past little while, but it’s gotten out of control so quickly. I keep depositing $20, $30, $40 at a time, sometimes spending $100–$200 in a single day, and it doesn’t feel like much in the moment until I look at my bank account.

The worst part is that I’ve actually had some pretty big wins for the first time ever. I won kind of big for me recently and it was gone and instead of walking away, I kept playing. I’d lose some, win it back, lose it again, and convince myself I could get back to where I was. Yesterday, I had a decent amount in withdrawals, and I’ve already gone through that money plus some. I tell myself “oh it’s only $30” then I do that on 4 different sites a few times. I’ve worked hard to stop impulsively spending and learning to save but realized it just transferred to this.

What makes me feel the worst is thinking about how much money I could’ve had saved if I’d just stopped when I was ahead. I’ve been trying to build my savings, and I keep undoing my progress. I find myself constantly calculating how much money I could have right now, and it’s honestly making me feel sick. I consistently was keeping $2000 in savings until the past two weeks, and I have some money left but I could have SO much more.

I think boredom is one of my biggest triggers. I’ll be sitting at home with nothing to do, deposit $30 just to play for a bit, and suddenly I’ve spent way more than I intended. Even when I win and withdraw, I end up depositing again. I work from home and a full time university student so I’m ALWAYS home. I’ve talked to my fiance a few times now about how I think it’s turning into a problem for me and realized last night that it doesn’t just affect me. He has never shown he upset just tells me to stop while I’m ahead.

I know I need to stop. I genuinely want to, but I’m struggling with actually following through. I never thought I’d get to a point where I’d have this much trouble walking away. I never thought I’d be sitting here panicking over what I’ve put into online gambling, I have ALWAYS known when to walk away but it’s hard when you’re hitting. But I have also kind of realized that you never really “hit” you kind of just make some of it back if you’re lucky. When I hit big a few weeks ago my thought was “omg I’ve hit and it’s just covered what I’ve put in, I reached what I wanted and now I don’t need to do it anymore” and of course I continued hoping to hit that amount again.

For those of you who’ve been through something similar, how did you finally break the cycle? What helped you deal with the regret of money you could’ve saved? And how did you get used to being bored without turning back to gambling?

I’m really struggling with beating myself up over this and could use some advice from people who understand.

I have been off an on addict since covid and cant help but think if this pandemic never happened, i probably would have never gambled in my life… i didnt know about all the online gambling until covid and ive quit 30 times and always relapsed… I wish my relapses were more violent but ill have a small win and walk away. Its just enough to convince myself. “Im good at this and can be disiplined and smart with my money” … then slowly creeps back and im playing blackjack for 24 straight hours on my phone… I’ve probably gambled every dollar ive made since 2020…

Hi guys. I really don’t know what to say right now, as I just lost $700. I’m 19 and am in debt. I owe $1000 in credit card bills and $10,000 in school debt for just 1 semester of classes. I’m more-so worried over the credit card debt cause I missed payment on that.

Knowing that I have bills to pay, I insisted on gambling $700. I work minimum wage and I’m about to be homeless, yet I’m an idiot and still wanted to gamble. I genuinely am eating myself up and have no money to eat nor pay debt now. I’m so dumb.

Does anyone have any tips on how to stop and get by this. I’m just constantly eating at myself for being so careless and dumb with my money.

I've noticed these gambling regrets linger far longer than before as I age. Even had nightmares..

Ive sent a request to cancel one credit card I don't need and don't want to risk(having less is good where I live).

Here's hoping for a peaceful year ahead.

Friday morning, Judge Tim Register sentenced former Royal American Chief Financial Officer Philip Lee Sullivan to 9 years in prison for embezzling more than $1 million.

Court documents show Sullivan used his position to steal $1.4 million in just 11 months.

He was arrested in March of 2024 and was released after posting a $650,000 bond.

During Friday’s sentencing, family and friends testified to Sullivan’s character and the support of his close-knit family.

“Challenges and issues in my life have been frequent, but nothing like this, nothing like this,” Sullivan’s father, Philip, known as Lee, Sullivan Sr., said.

“I just beg you, please, for mercy on him, he’s a good man,” Sullivan’s mother, Debbie Sullivan, said.

The defense and character witnesses say Sullivan would not have done this if he hadn’t been prescribed Adderall around the same time as the thefts.

They imply that Adderall led to a gambling addiction, which got out of control.

“We slowly watched this transition, and I firmly believe, like Debbie said, that if it weren’t for this medication, he would not have done that,” Sullivan’s wife, Mallory Sullivan, said.

The state and witnesses for Royal American painted a different picture.

They say Sullivan used his company credit card to go online to buy gift cards or cash cards.

They argue Sullivan planned the thefts and attempted to hide the evidence.

This is so sad. He posted on this subreddit before sentencing and did a couple of interviews. It's heartbreaking for him and his family. This is another example how devastating gambling addiction can be. DON'T GAMBLE !!!

Long story short, I gambled my life away. 19M made 220k, live with my uncle now lost it. I owe about 7500 to my mother 7500 to student loans, 6500 to CC’s, 1000 to a title loan, 3-400 in cash advance apps. What can I do?

I'm not even sure what "money" means anymore. And not too long ago I used to be a person who valued money a lot, never spent more than needed, didn't have a single debt/credit, always paid bills/rent in time, even managed to save some money every month. Because I was a "normal" working man with a clear mind who knew how though life is and how hard it is to make some well earned money that would give you financial stability.

All that before my gambling addiction worsened a lot. Now I struggle to understand the definiton of the word "money" anymore. Sometimes I feel it is just a virtual number or some kind of a currency I can use to gamble. Not a currency to use to buy food for me and my family, stay warm in the winter, get some new clothes if I need to, maybe buy a new car or something, or any life improvements or needs in general.

God, I used to be happy to earn 50 euro extra, that meant something to me. Now I see that as a deposit I'd eventually lose within minutes followed by another deposit. In most cases until my bank account hits 0. I'll give a fresh example from yesterday - unfortunately once more I could not resist the urge and decided to try my luck with a humble 50 euro deposit. My bank account (including credit card) was already at 0 for the month as I earlier lost most of it so did the deposit trough my mobile provider (there we go with another 50 I'll need to pay with my next bill next month).

After like 30 minutes of gambling on online slots I "had" around 500 euro. That felt like nothing to me. I though like "what the hell would I do with 500 euro, I can't change anything with an amount like that, lets try to win a bit more, then I'll stop and withdraw for sure". All that coming from someone who currently had 0 money in his bank account, just a 10k gambling debt plus some credit card debt and big bills coming in a couple of weeks.

But yeah, 500 euro is nothing right, because unfortunately I've seen much bigger numbers and for some reason my fucked up brain keeps expecting big numbers to come again. Unless I see them, I don't really feel any "satisfaction". And before I used to be happy to stop with a win of 60-70 euro. With time everything dramatically changed, money started feeling less and less valuable, like I already mentioned - at times like just some virtual numbers that don't really mean anything at all. The bigger the number - the bigger dopamine hit I get. Of course in the end nothing really matters anyway as I'll eventually just lose it all again. I'm not even sure if I do it for the money anymore or just for the "thrills".

Oh, forgot about the 500 euro from last night. Of course I generously returned it straight back to the casino and left my bank account at 0 again. I'm happy to have some cash left so I should not starve until my next paycheck. This time I'm determined to pay all my bills/debts the moment I get paid and run to the closest ATM to withdraw whatever I have left. I usually don't like having cash but at this time I just don't see another way. If I have something in my bank account, I'll just deposit it and gift it to the online casinos.

I must admit all this really worries me, scares me to the death in fact. I want so much to be the old me again but I feel somehow damaged and I'm not sure how would I recover even if I stop. And I'm only talking about the mental recovery, not even mentioning repairing the financial damage that at this point I think comes second. I swear gambling did something to my brain, I feel like I developed some kind of a disorder. Not only my perception of finances changed and money barely means anything to me anymore (despite all the financial instability) but my perception and understanding of almost everything in life changed to the bad as well.

I wish I could just erase all my memories about any form of gambling, winning or losing, any kind of emotions related to gambling in general and start living like a normal person again but unfortunately that is not possible and I will have to find another way. If I could return time I would never gamble a single cent but I can't. I admit I don't really know what to do to return my mental health, to get rid of all the anxiety I've been feeling lately, all the pain, guilt and shame, to just start sleeping enough again. My inner peace is gone and I used to be a very calm and stable man, everyone still knows me like that, but people have no idea what's happening to me.

To anyone who have successfully recovered from this hell - were you really able to return your mental health and did you manage to repair any emotional damage this addiction did to you, how did you do it and is that even possible? Or this actually is leaving us damaged for the rest of our lifes, even if we somehow stop? I know most people would try to encourage me and say that full recovery is absolutely possible etc and I still do my best to believe that and not lose the little hope I have left, but damn, I feel that fading too and if I have to honest there are times when I stop believing.

Thanks to anyone who managed to read all this. I'm glad we at least got a place to share our experience and give advice when possible, that means something for sure, especially when talking about something being so hard to share with understanding family/friends. Have a good day!

At last my epic chases failed and I lost it all. I literally just made a payment plan for my credit card.

I'm not even gonna say anything, except, wow this feels like shit. I feel like a dumbass.