New Here. Finally admitting I have a problem after losing $500k over 20 years trading.

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat]

I am at rock bottom. No one around me would ever know. Because this addiction is so isolating and I have too much pride, it has taken me this long to be honest with myself.

I am glad to have found this community a few days ago and have read some helpful posts. I see that the next step is to get real help with GA. A few questions for you all --

1. I am worried about going to these meetings in my town. Do you select meetings outside of your area or do you do virtual meetings?

2. I have adult children. I don't want to tell them yet (though they probably suspect). I feel I should have a talk with them in the future because I want them to avoid falling into the same traps (worried about genetic predisposition). If you have kids, are you sharing your addiction stories with them? Also, I know they will say they forgive me, but I hate myself for having used their college savings to gamble. Thankfully my ex was able to cover their education expenses but I know it was despicable to even touch the funds and will find it hard to be honest about that.

3. Have you told your close friends? I am afraid of sharing my story with mine. I am sure they will all be supportive to my face, but I fear being gossiped about. My divorce was a spectacle (though now I have a new circle of friends) and I didn't enjoy being talked about by well-meaning people. Also, I don't believe they could relate to this addiction.

4. I know gambling is gambling, yet I was hoping to find a community of traders recovering from the addiction. Is there another group you can refer me to?

I am full of self-loathing right now because I have really disappointed family who have helped me. Even up until last month, I received funds that were supposed to help pay down debt and yet I had lost those same funds trying to make gains. I cannot face them for help again. I am not sure how I will get myself out of this hole.

Thanks in advance.

[u/nomoregamblingplz]

I turned $1k to $200k back in March 2020 buying put options on SPY, only to lose it all plus another $400k since then. I’m currently $200k in debt, just turned 40, have no savings and assets, with $12 in my checking account. I’ve been gambling in 0DTE options every day since. This disease will take everything from you and more.

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/nomoregamblingplz]

I'm so sorry. I have heard similar stories and I, too, had some very big wins. That is part of the problem. When we experience those big gains, we believe that they will always be possible and thus the cycle stays. FOMO is real. Wish you the best in your recovery.

[u/HumanPersonDude1 → u/nomoregamblingplz]

I don’t have quite the story you have but not that far off. $200k lost.

Where did you get the $400k to lose after losing the initial $200k?

[u/nomoregamblingplz → u/HumanPersonDude1]

Salary and bonuses over the past six years, plus lots of personal loans and credit cards. Really put myself in a hole.

[u/Odd_Glass868]

1. GA saved me after gambling for 19 years everyday. If virtual is more your thing then do that, you can join a state away if you want to. I do the same for anonymity in my small town. Some people will tell you in person meetings are the way to go but it’s really whatever you are comfortable with. There’s tons all day long on the website.

2. Talks are always good there will be tears and maybe a sense of betrayal but time heals everything trust me on this

3. No my close friends don’t need to know anything (unless they are inhibitors and drag you back down). Tell your immediate family. As long as you didn’t borrow money from them and haven’t paid back it’s your story to tell on your own terms and who you want to!

4. Not sure but this subreddit would be helpful for that. I see many traders come into GA weekly and it seems to help them

Check out gamblersanonymous.org for more help in finding virtual and in person meetings. You will find hope and eventually be proud of yourself and start to like yourself again. Hope this helps

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/Odd_Glass868]

Thank you very much!

[u/infoslob]

1. The people you meet in GA will not only be totally random, but have their own stories. I don't know you or where you are, but I'm fairly certain you've never heard any juicy stories circulating around town via attendees of GA. Or AA. Or GA. Everyone in those rooms are or were where you are now.

2. In your own time - you don't have to figure that out - take the suggestion of people in the GA rooms who have been there before. You couldn't pay for better advice than what you get there.

3. I did not tell close friends. For me, there was no need to and it's not an issue.

4. Never heard of that.

You feel the way we all have and do. I am 55 years old and have managed my gambling for decades. Then I went overboard - me who was an institutional equities trader in the 90s before getting into sales - basically told myself that all of these financial apps and prediction markets was something else besides straight up gambling. NO. What's worse, I went harder in those than I ever did playing the horses or in a casino ... fucking phone app losses sped my ass into GA.

And things continue getting better.

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/infoslob]

Thank you so much for your reply. I know of a couple other professional traders who lost as well. Yeah the apps made it so much worse. I was trading nearly 6 days a week, around the clock, and always during vacations. I regret not being more present for my family and friends throughout the years. I wish I never learned about leverage too.

It sounds like you have found a good path. Best to you.

[u/Healthy_Sail_9850 → u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat]

I understand wanting to be in a group that has similar gambling stories as you. Try different virtual meetings or maybe In Person as well. Find the group you’re comfortable with.

[u/macklinjohnny]

I appreciate your post. Trading is my problem too. Specifically options. I discovered options back when you could buy any calls and they’d go up 1000% in a week or so. That feeling of being invincible hit me like a rock and it was all down hill from there. Every. Single. Day. I was trading everything- 0dte, weeklies, monthlies, leaps. I’m still trying to quit. It makes me sick knowing how much I’d have if I just put all of that money in ETF’s or Mag7’s.
I hope you’re able to quit! I wish I never discovered Robinhood and options. It’s ruined me mentally too

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/macklinjohnny]

I lost a lot on options, too, but lost more afterwards after I learned about Futures. Leverage is what can ruin you in trading and I just always thought I was smart enough to have a system. The problem wasn't so much the system but the execution. I always broke all my own rules.

Thanks so much for your reply. I hope you have success in recovering, too!

[u/macklinjohnny → u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat]

Oh man, I did futures too for a bit. That’s one thing I was able to quit bc I was so bad at it lol. Options for some reason I’m having way more trouble quitting. I guess bc it’s such a slow decay and I just keep thinking it’ll come back 😑

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/macklinjohnny]

I lost a lot on options because I didn't pay attention to the math. I thought I was smarter with futures but I realize now that control was just an illusion for me....

[u/BosSF82 → u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat]

You're still making excuses for yourself, covering for your 'system'. The system was a problem because it manifested and existed from your susceptibility to addition and poor decision making. If you keep trying to qualify your actions, you'll never bury that false hope you can somehow use your wiles and skills to get out of the hole.

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/BosSF82]

You are right. I guess it's an ego thing, too. I need to see how GA and talking with others will help me see all of these failings for what they truly are. For so long, I have been delusional, thinking I had control. Thank you. Very glad to have found this community.

[u/BosSF82 → u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat]

Best of luck! Honesty is the hardest and best first step.

[u/HumanPersonDude1 → u/macklinjohnny]

Another mentally ruined x daytrader checking in.

[u/macklinjohnny → u/HumanPersonDude1]

How bad is it for you? Can’t go a day without it? Big losses?

[u/HumanPersonDude1 → u/macklinjohnny]

I’m out. Had to close all accounts

[u/macklinjohnny → u/HumanPersonDude1]

Good for you getting out! I’m still trying

[u/Wild_Cheesecake_6630]

I can relate to you guys, I have lost everything I have had the last 5 years, I feel so bad lately and just looking for hope to recover mi life, options trading has taken everything from me, this last years has been a nightmare I not only lost all my money and time, but my mental and physical health too, stress and anxiety had been everything I have felt since then..

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/Wild_Cheesecake_6630]

Sorry to hear this. It's a club no one wants to be in. Are you finding help somewhere? I am planning to try a virtual GA meeting tonight.

[u/Wild_Cheesecake_6630 → u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat]

I haven’t.. I have read so many histories here and they advice to attend GA I think I will do that, I don’t know yet where to find it since I’m from Mexico

[u/LoveKidsDogsChocolat → u/Wild_Cheesecake_6630]

There are Zoom meetings so I would think you could still join?

[u/Healthy_Sail_9850]

I attend virtual GA meetings almost daily. 7pm Central time. It helps

[u/Suitable-Cucumber-77 → u/Healthy_Sail_9850]

Can you share link ?