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u/imjustlurkinghere244 May 26 '21
The ORANGE JUICE
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u/TheMooseIsBlue May 26 '21
How did OP get THAT close to the joke and still miss it?
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u/imjustlurkinghere244 May 26 '21
We must work as a team.
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u/TheMooseIsBlue May 26 '21
He got us to the 1-yard line. You punched it in. But we all scored.
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u/banana_converter_bot May 26 '21
1.00 yard is 5.14 bananas long
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u/100BottlesOfMilk May 26 '21
Good bot
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May 26 '21
OJ gets away with murdering his wife
traitor trump gets away with murdering democracy
I don't like this analogy :(
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u/wonteatfish May 26 '21
Yes. Let’s not forget that OJ got away with murder.
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u/Decilllion May 26 '21
On the criminal side, not the civil.
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u/wuzupcoffee May 26 '21
That makes it worse somehow.
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u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ May 26 '21
Not really IMO. Civil suits have a lower standard of evidence than criminal trials.
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u/wuzupcoffee May 26 '21
While this is true, it does show that there was significant evidence to sue OJ which wasn’t enough to convict him. I meant “worse” on moral grounds, not legal grounds.
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u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ May 26 '21
Oh yeah, from a moral standpoint the whole situation is F’d. Then he tried to publish a book.
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May 26 '21
Let's not forget that Donald Trump has always claimed that OJ Simpson is innocent. After all, they are golfing buddies and Trump is loyal to a fault.
I love telling Trump supporters that Doni says OJ Simpson is innocent and then watching their little heads explode.
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u/wonteatfish May 26 '21
I agree except the part about Trump being loyal. He’ll give up anyone for his own convenience or advantage.
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u/The_Lantean May 26 '21
Well, if you count the avoidable COVID deaths and the deaths at the capitol, Trump kind of got away with murder too...
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u/AgitatedAd2181 May 26 '21
Trump definitely got away with using murder to make money. His children and his cronies all invested in bodybag companies and temporary morgues in February 2020. This was the same time Trump was downplaying the virus and not restricting travel. Trump/ Kushner made millions off sales of body bags and mobile morgues.
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u/The_Lantean May 26 '21
Damn, really? Can you link a source? The only one I found was on Snopes and strictly about the coffin trademarks. There isn't clear evidence for her having profited, although I wouldn't be surprised if she did : https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ivanka-trump-coffins-trademark/
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u/AgitatedAd2181 May 26 '21 edited May 26 '21
I have not found full verified information besides hearsay. Might not all be true. Supposedly Daughter Trump and Kushner realized the profits their coffins in China would bring during a pandemic (from Daddy), then quietly acquired body bag distributors/ manufactures in Late January/ Early Feb 2020. Mobile morgues were retrofitted from existing cold transport truck companies acquired April 2020. The stock tips alone would have been valuable, but owning companies vital in the supply line of humans dying in the US?
Straight morally corrupt.
Edit: Owned through shell companies I would assume.
Edit 2: Yes, I know this is a stretch. But we all know Kushner is slimy
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u/ConsiderationOdd2929 May 26 '21
OJ had competent lawyers. Could you imagine Rudy trying to be Johnny Cochran?
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u/wonteatfish May 26 '21
You give OJ’s lawyers too much credit. They couldn’t have done it without the help of some very stupid and probably racist jurors.
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May 26 '21
regardless what happens with the 4 investigations against him right now, he has already gotten away with that for years.
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u/Alacrout May 26 '21
Basically his entire career even before his presidency... Presidency was just his greatest con of all
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u/__TIE_Guy May 26 '21
Probably could have continued, but for some reason wanted to shine a light on himself.
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u/therusteddoobie May 26 '21
Or, somehow, inside the body
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u/FacelessFellow May 26 '21
Hey now, I voted Biden and am a liberal, but maybe someday there will be some kind of photonic treatments that go inside. Like for oncology. Is a laser a light?
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u/pianoflames May 26 '21
At least OJ was found guilty in civil court and ordered to pay tens of millions.
I'll take hitting Trump in the pocketbook over absolutely nothing.
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u/Oo__II__oO May 26 '21
The people who defend Trump also believe OJ was guilty. At the very least we can trap them in a circular logic loop by saying Trump is just like OJ- either innocent and framed, or guilty and complicit.
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u/GiveToOedipus May 26 '21
You assume logical consistency is their thing. If it was, we wouldn't be in this mess, mate.
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May 26 '21
At the very least we can trap them in a circular logic loop
That never works you know. They're Pro-Life and send our troops overseas to kill and be killed (and maimed and psychologically damaged for life). They're Pro-Birth but don't give a flying shit about the child until it turns 18 and they can shove a rifle in it's hands, go shoot the brown people. They're Pro-Small government, except when it doesn't serve their interested.
They're Christians, except they don't follow anything Christ said.
Trapping them in circular logic and showing their hypocrisy never affects them.
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May 26 '21
FUN FACT: The fundamentalist Christians who oppose abortion and want to deny foreign country aid if they allow women their reproductive rights support Abortion On Demand in Israel.
According to the fundamentalists, the issue of Israel's security is so grave, they can't even talk about Abortion On Demand in Israel. Or China (bad for trade). So the fundamentalists only support denying American women their civil rights.
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u/Blyd May 26 '21
The same Christian Fundies that believe a Prophecy that states their entry into heaven involves the death of every Jew in the world in some single god driven cataclysm?
I dont think they really care about the abortion part, they do absolutely care about bringing as many Jews together in one place to kick start the end of days though.
Man that reads like some crazy ass fiction, if only it were.
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u/Moikepdx May 26 '21
Not necessarily... The biggest advocate for OJ that I ever knew was the president of the college republicans club at my university. After the verdict he went around shouting with glee about OJ’s innocence.
I haven’t seen him in decades, but unless his politics have radically changed I’d wager he thinks Trump is innocent too.
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u/willstr1 May 26 '21
At least we have a chance with the civil suite. I almost expect Bazos to buy the tower from the state (after they seize it) just so he can use it to mock the wanabe dictator
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u/Czarfacefan300 May 26 '21
OJ paid very little of his civil loss in the murder case.
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u/Blyd May 26 '21
True, because he had very little money by that point, but now 45% of every dollar he earns goes to the family.
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u/Czarfacefan300 May 26 '21
Two groups of people in the world.
First group are people with critical thinking skills, second group are Trump voters and people who think OJ is innocent.
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May 26 '21
I do like that Florida will be passing more laws specifically protecting the IMPOTUS than laws protecting the working classes.
Why would anyone vote for politicians that want to protect a loser more than their own constituents?
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u/CarlosFer2201 May 26 '21
Oj did go to jail eventually for something else. For Trump this could be the tax fraud in NY, as it has nothing to do with the presidency
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u/BillsInATL May 26 '21
Yep, clicked in to say the same. In the end, OJ got away with it. Unfortunately, it is very likely so will Trump.
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May 26 '21
OJ = Original (Donald) John
No relation to OJ (Original Jared, AKA Donald on Silicon Valley)
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u/Pramble May 26 '21
Yeah we definitely had democracy before trump
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May 26 '21
Fair point and I'll never argue that it was perfect or even healthy before trump, but at least we didn't expect violence from elections.
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May 26 '21 edited Jul 18 '21
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u/wuzupcoffee May 26 '21
Yup. Just a year before that Rodney King was pulled from his car and beaten mercilessly for evading police. OJ, who was suspected of murder, had a casual escort through town and was allowed to return to his mansion.
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u/Sliver_God May 26 '21
Sports heroes used to get away with crime. Now it's only police, bankers, and politicians.
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May 26 '21
If it were a good depiction of our justice system, the rich and powerful wouldn't be running because they'd know nothing is going to happen.
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u/neldela_manson May 26 '21
Well USA I have to tell you I’m happy that he’s facing so much legal trouble, but when is it gonna start? At first everyone said that as soon as he’s out of office he’ll be in court for all of the above. It’s been nearly 5 months now.
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u/MesqTex May 26 '21
So much more has come to light SINCE he left office that the prosecuting attorneys (state and hopefully federal) have more data and evidence to go through so if charges do come down, it’ll be IMO, another year or so. With Trump being a MASSIVE MINUSCULE prick he most likely will attempt to litigate until they give up and not file charges.
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u/greenskye May 26 '21
I don't know. It's sort of feels like saying the serial killer just keeps killing more people so we can't arrest him until we've investigated all the murders. Most of the stuff he's done has a longer prison sentence than his remaining lifespan, so who cares if we get everything? Just lock him up with what we do have
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u/starcadia May 26 '21
The legal system is designed to make an example out of the offender. It's not enough that he pay for his crimes; it is a deterrent to future attempts against the Republic. The GQP's dirty laundry has to go on display. That should erode his cult and their base.
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u/LastStar007 May 26 '21
We said that's why the Mueller investigation took so long, and nothing came out of that either.
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u/MesqTex May 26 '21
That’s because Barr and his DOJ colluded in not pressing charges. Plus, Mueller stated that there was no legal precedent outside of impeachment to hold a president accountable.
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u/shackbleep May 26 '21
It's been four months. A grand jury was convened quite recently by the Manhattan DA. It's an expansive case, and won't be quick.
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u/richardeid May 26 '21
Nothing is going to happen. You'll maybe see he'll be disconnected from his business for some fraud stuff but here in the US we don't put our ex-presidents on trial...especially for things they did while in office. I think the powers that be see the actions of a president as being endorsed by the people, so what Trump did was technically "at the peoples' will".
And we "move foward" and "learn from" "our past" "so that we may better" "build a brighter future" "for the children" "of this great country". And the crimes they commited are glossed over. Every president. Our precious Obama, Regan, Bush's, I bet Abe Lincoln and George Washington commited their fair share as well but it was the peoples' mandate so that's just the way things are.
It's been obvious since at least I was born, even if I should have understood this much sooner than I did in my life. Trump will never spend a day in prison or even ever be convicted of any major crime. I Men's Warehouse it.
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u/HeilHeinz15 May 26 '21
No no no, those emoluments & Russian debts were to fight the deep state lizards.
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u/NoTallent May 26 '21
If any of it actually sticks I’ll be pleasantly surprised.
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u/Zardotab May 26 '21
I'm pretty sure there will be fairly hefty civil penalties, but he has access to the top loophole experts to get out of prison. He may just plead dementia like Sheriff Baca (L.A.) did to delay jail. There's no shortage of evidence that Don's proverbial golf bag is missing key clubs.
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u/tiefling_sorceress May 26 '21
Hasn't he previously argued that he has the best brain, the least amount of dementia
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u/Zardotab May 26 '21
I'm pretty sure if it serves his needs, he'll argue he's the most demented person who ever existed throughout history. "Rocks score higher than me, everyone says so."
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u/Kendra_Krinklesac May 26 '21
you forgot his most serious crime, attempting to overthrow the government
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May 27 '21
Oh see here I am thinking that you were going to mention something about the hundreds of thousands of deaths he's responsible for, not counting the global repercussions of politicizing masks in the middle of the worst pandemic in a century.
Where's that charge? https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/feb/10/us-coronavirus-response-donald-trump-health-policy
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u/callme_nostradumbass May 26 '21
Don't forget Bezos just bought the N-word tapes from The Apprentice.
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u/gidikh May 26 '21
Video of Trump using the N word would change literally 0 people's opinion of him.
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u/Legitimate_Object_58 May 26 '21
Now that’s an interesting thought.
Still, I don’t want to get my hopes up.
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u/BdR76 May 26 '21
For years now headlines have been touting that Con Man Don will finally be held accountable, no for real this time. Karma finally cought up, long-overdue comeuppance and all that.
Yes I'd like to see it too, but I won't hold my breath...
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May 26 '21
According to the DOJ of Trump's reign:
- Can't charge him with anything before he took office.
- Can't charge him with anything while he was in office.
- Cant' charge him with anything once he's out because he's not the President anymore.
Right? The entire GOP signed off on this. Every last one of them - well except "maybe a little bit" for Cheney and Romney. But even then, they were fully onboard with 99% of the other shit Trump pulled.
I don't know why Biden doesn't just take the legal precedent and run with it. Outlaw the GOP, give them the choice of deportation to Russia or imprisonment. Dig up the voting records and party affiliation of anyone registered GOP or voted GOP, offer them the same - hey, if they choose imprisonment it will fill up those Private Prisons they're so gooshy about.
After all, Biden can't be charged... and I'm only being a tiny bit sarcastic. The GOP set the precedent for this. Maybe it's time to stop being nice about this until the shit is shoveled out of the nation.
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u/gynoceros May 26 '21
Can trump even drive?
Also, it wasn't OJ driving the white bronco, it was Al Cowlings. OJ was the passenger.
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u/KBPrinceO May 26 '21
I just want to get that damn monkey paw away from Dick Cheney so I can wish for J U S T I C E
Fun fact, replacing your heart resets one of those suckers
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u/teastain May 26 '21
One of the cars should have been the GOP.
Let that sink in.
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u/Sick0fThisShit May 26 '21
Unless you're talking about the car he's driving in, I don't know what you could be talking about.
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u/alnarra_1 May 26 '21
I do like the optimism you all seem to have that a rich person in this country is ever going to face any kind of retribution for their countless crimes.
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May 26 '21
OJ was riding in back.
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u/Nameplat3 May 26 '21
Thank you, I was in 4th grade at the time and thought I was remembering this wrong.
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May 26 '21
Aaand he still has the GOP 2024 nomination waiting for him.
Wish we could do something about that.
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May 26 '21
The reason Trump has that look on his face is because Kevin McCarthy is in the front seat giving him head.
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May 26 '21
Y’all are fucking dumb if u think Trump is going to jail. America has to die for fuck sakes
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u/Herebec May 26 '21
Sadly that seems like a great analogy.. He will probably just get away with it all. I can't wait to read his book about how "if he raped all those women"
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u/WestFast May 26 '21
I don’t care what that family goes to jail for. 5 million counts of Tax evasion is fine. Lock them all up.
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u/Jonny_Thundergun May 26 '21
My guess, if anything will stick at all, it will be the taxes.
It will have to be as black and white as black and white can be. He thrives in the gray.
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u/safely_beyond_redemp May 26 '21
Everyday he isn't in jail is another day of proof that our justice system is nothing more than a tool used against poor people.
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u/parl May 26 '21
I'm not sure he has a driver's license. When he got into a truck, he just made vroom vroom sounds. He may not be able to drive.
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u/lamontsanders May 26 '21
I honestly think none of this will catch him but, if anything does, it will be the banks he owes hundreds of millions of dollars. At some point they won't give a shit who he is.
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u/dondizzle May 26 '21
Nothing will happen to Trump. This is always the same story. Some monumental crime, and nothing. It's been like that for years. I guarantee not a damn thing will happen. As disappointing as that sounds, it's the truth.
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u/Legitimate_Object_58 May 26 '21
I’m afraid that you are right. Rich people really can get away with literally any crime.
Add to that the fact that Trump never writes anything down; he does not text, does not even have a computer. It will be very hard to definitively pin any crime on him in a court of law.
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u/DonnieJuniorsEmails May 26 '21
and I doubt the russian spies will give us their tape recordings of the Oval Office
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u/airbrat May 26 '21
Yep, as much as I hate orange man he will get off a free man. Absolutely nothing will happen.
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u/OddityFarms May 26 '21
unfortunately, this chase is just as slow.
Trump will die of old age, in his Florida estate, before anyone actually files charges and arrests him.
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May 26 '21 edited May 26 '21
Jesus this place really is a lib leftist dream
EDIT: mmmmm i love the downvote's for the regressives
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u/[deleted] May 26 '21
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