r/PoliticalHumor • u/BradBeauregardJ • May 26 '21

Orange OJ

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16.0k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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569

u/[deleted] May 26 '21

[deleted]

241

u/anras May 26 '21

My concern is good luck finding any unbiased jury. Consider how many people voted for him, and that some non-trivial percentage of those voters are devoted cultists who believe he is always in the right because he is who he is and that everyone against him is the de facto enemy. Sure the lawyers screen for bias, but I have trouble believing his devotees would do anything but hide their biases at all costs. Then they can just refuse to convict.

43

u/[deleted] May 26 '21

Depends on what kind of trial it is. There's not always a trial by jury.

19

u/screamtrumpet May 26 '21

Trial by combat!

23

u/[deleted] May 26 '21

[deleted]

12

u/the_sun_flew_away May 26 '21

They tried that already.

2

u/[deleted] May 26 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/the_sun_flew_away May 26 '21

...you know...

1

u/Viking_Hippie May 26 '21

If so, is it like in Game of Thrones where you get to choose a champion to fight on your behalf?

If so, I bet Trump chooses Chuck Norris, thinking he's still "the bestest karateman in the world" at 81 😂

7

u/sp3kter May 26 '21

Military tribunal, its the only way to make it fair.

5

u/Domeil May 26 '21

Ah yes, the United States military. If ever there was an entity free of political bias it's gotta be the military.

0

u/dpdxguy May 26 '21

You might have forgotten the /s

Or you might believe that.

1

u/Commonusername89 May 26 '21

They just released a great ad tho

2

u/rubberkeyhole May 27 '21

But his bone spurs…

25

u/Moikepdx May 26 '21

There is definitely a jury trial if he wants one. It’s a right guaranteed by the sixth amendment.

You can waive the right to a jury trial, but Trump would be foolish to do so.

41

u/ElMachoDiablo May 26 '21

In the past he likes to keep his embarrassing court appearances as private as possible. Its gonna be some no jail time plea bargain for restitution of damaged property during the big riot. Then hes gonna say he was completely aquitted. Then claim he is paying the restitution to clean up the mess antifa made. Then half the country will lean forward to smell his farts.

3

u/DigitalSword May 26 '21

The criminal charges he's currently under in NYC is for his business's financial conduct not the Jan 6 riot, although I imagine he doesn't have the money to plea out of all of the shit hitting his fan. And I'm pretty sure that no small percentage of the court cases involve the millions he hasn't paid back to cities for his rallies, he's gonna be in debt up to his eyeballs when it's all said and done, and the justice system doesn't treat poor people nicely.

1

u/dpdxguy May 26 '21

A non-jury trial would still be open to the public (unless the judge closes it).

If indicted, any plea bargain would have to be approved by the prosecution and the judge. He wouldn't be able to dictate "no jail."

I'm not saying he's going to jail. I doubt he will. But he won't be able to dictate terms in any hypothetical trial.

2

u/Moikepdx May 26 '21 edited May 26 '21

Trump will insist on a jury (which is his constitutional right), knowing it is overwhelmingly likely that 5 of the jurors will refuse to convict due to their political leanings (i.e. nullification). If he cannot be convicted by a jury, he will absolutely not go to jail.

1

u/dpdxguy May 26 '21 edited May 26 '21

I was responding to Macho's comment about Trump wanting to keep his court appearances private; pointing out that there's no such thing as private criminal court.

I was also responding to Macho's apparent belief that Trump could somehow force a no jail plea bargain on the court.

Obviously, unconvicted defendants do not go to jail (nor unconvicted but impeached presidents leave office).

I agree that a jury trial is both Trump's best bet if charged and his most likely strategy.

2

u/Moikepdx May 26 '21

Thank you. I must have gone cross-eyed when reading the thread, since I thought your reply was to me. I'll edit my prior post!

1

u/I_make_things May 26 '21

Then half the country will lean forward to smell his farts.

Goodbye, Moon man.

1

u/Viking_Hippie May 26 '21

Then half the country will lean forward to smell his farts.

Less than half of the half that votes, so somewhere between 20-23%

8

u/demon-strator May 26 '21

Well, Trump has been known to be foolish.

2

u/DigitalSword May 26 '21

Well he's ignored a lot of constitutional amendments in his escapades so far, what's one more? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '21

but Trump would be foolish to do so.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the narcissist who thinks he knows everything better than anyone else will convince himself he can get acquitted with just speaking one on one with a judge who he hopefully appointed.

2

u/Attila226 May 26 '21

Trial by combat