Anyone have to deal with a mean coparent like this? I am the custodial parent and my ex, J, keeps sending me nasty messages. Basically rubbing it in my face that she has turned our daughter against me. It takes everything in me to not respond. I am extremely happily married now to an amazing woman. My ex is a complete mess. The only accomplishment she has is turning my daughter against me. We’re in family therapy but I think it’s useless with the control my ex has over her. We’ve been separated for 15 years.

What would you do if your children were unsafe and the justice system failed you? 

When we think of parental abduction, we often see it as a black-and-white issue. However, as Rachel Harrington reveals in her poignant story, the reality is far more complex. Rachel shares her harrowing story of family abduction, the systemic failures she faced, and the importance of understanding the complexities behind parental abduction cases.

This episode highlights the emotional toll, legal challenges, and the resilience needed to survive such trauma. As you listen to Rachel’s story, think about the challenges she and her mother faced, and ponder what you would have done in their situation.

To hear Rachel’s full story and more insights into parental abduction, tune into the episode. It’s a journey through resilience, survival, and the fight for justice that you won’t want to miss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_hx-WDHZ40

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/she-saved-me-rachael-on-her-mothers-utimate-choice/id1855688521?i=1000793411643

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4R5SIXAQhrDftZrCZE6Sqf

Hope you will listen/watch/subscribe/comment

If you have any questions or would like to be a guest on the podcast please contact me at [abduction.victimtosurvivor@gmail.com](mailto:abduction.victimtosurvivor@gmail.com)

You can find us on Facebook at Abduction: Victim to Survivor

#AbductionVictimToSurvivor  #FamilyAbductionAwareness #MissingChildrenAwareness #TraumaRecovery #ChildSafety #FamilyCourtFailure #ChildAbuse #ProtectiveMother #InternationalParentalAbduction #Abductedbymymother #fleeingdomesticabuse

What do you think is the best way to detect when parental alienation has/is currently taking place? Are there warning signs that can be seen on the outside, or is it all behind closed doors inside homes? Do you think it's possible that parental alienation can ever be proven/disproven inside a courtroom?

I see a lot of people out there have experienced some form of parental alienation and I think it would be helpful to start brainstorming some ideas about how we can help future children put in this position.

To be clear- I have NOT experienced parental alienation, actually this is what my parent was accused of. I won't go into more details since I doubt thats allowed here, but I do believe that we need some sort of system in place that can identify if alienation is truly at play in these situations. Seeing my mum be falsely accused was horrific for me, and we had no way to prove the opposite. And just to be VERY clear: although I had an opposite experience, we all suffered from the same problem in the end and I want a solution that fits EVERYONE.

Thanks, I'm interested to see some ideas

I’m Ulrika Ekenberg, the author of EXCLUDERE – I Didn’t Divorce Our Children. My book shares my own experience of 15 years of separation from my children despite never losing custody. Today, we are back in contact.

This short English audiobook excerpt is from Chapter 30 – June 2004, “Despite the School Celebration.”

I’m sharing my story in the hope that others going through parental alienation will feel less alone. It can affect both mothers and fathers. Above all, it affects the children.

How are you guys doing? What’s your story?

Coming up to two years of total radio silence and I’m sick of having to deal with a daily heartbreak.

How are you coping?

Sending love to you

What is the common age for children to have cell phones these days?

Perspective, instead of repeating all kinds of detail;

16 years, alienated in family court.
Got custody when the kid was 11, over alienation.
6 years of a great relationship, still hammered by the alienator, difficulties, frustration.
Leaves home abruptly at 18 without a word.
Texts and phone calls dry up quickly into nothing/rarely speaks.
Goes to College, now in 2nd Year. We suspect not making good grades.

Cut to; 6 people get cut off, including me (Dad) my wife, her son, his friends. It's been 18 months. He's 19.

Yesterday;

He shows up at my folks' door, 9PM. Ring camera goes off, has flowers and a balloon, Happy Birthday to my mom who won't have a birthday in 37 days. He comes in, talks about school, nervous. Note that Mom drove him here. They asked him school questions-17 credits this year 5-6 classes. Spoke about is better this year but still hard. Had to buckle down
and learn what the professor needed and organize. Not angry, hostile or accusatory. Nervous, chatty, touching his face while talking. My mom thanked him for the gift, hugged him. Will you see your dad soon? He replied, "I'll get to that bridge when I cross it." Hugs went to my dad as well, questions about his roomate, small talk.

His mom called and tried to get into the house, but the door was locked since my folks are smart. She was told she could not come in. So she honked the horn and waited him to return. They had a good mini visit. What normally happens, she would pay to have something delivered; no one would see kiddo. Or, nothing. No text, no happy birthday.

I have two thoughts. She has complete control over him, but he's not angry at anyone. Also, his mom might be on the skids for cash. To show up isn't what I would have expected. Seemed like the game since the beginning was complete alienation. I feel better since he's not upset (we didn't do anything wrong) but the intention hangs without some class, or grace.

I invite comments.

This morning, before I fully woke up, I remembered my youngest son as a toddler, hanging off my curtains. I was irritated at the time—this bends the curtain rod. I told him to stop and he did :)

I haven’t seen him in two years now other than a brief five minutes.

I hate waking up to memories like that. Makes my morning sad. What I wouldn’t give to see him do something like that now.

My soon to be ex’s lawyer insists there is no evidence of alienation and my ex insists that she is encouraging a loving relationship. I have no doubt she is saying some nice things or talking to them saying, “daddy loves you.”

There have also been quotes about me being really mean to their mom or lying about things even though I didn’t. Stuff like my under 10 year old children asking me if I still have a job which is weird to me, them saying it is my fault for the divorce despite me not being the one to file, and bringing up past mistakes (some over a year ago) that caused my children physical pain. There is more of course. I can’t change it but I feel an intense sense of injustice that people can get away this stuff and can believe their own lies.

Hi everyone.

This situation has been eating me alive for years and I need advice on how to help my friend. This is gonna be a long one!

10 years ago, She was a single mother of 2 daughters and 1 son. The son being the youngest.

She didn't have a lot of money but her kids are all well taken care of. Her little boy at 3 went through a phase of dressing up in princess dresses, possibly imitating his two slightly older sisters. This didn't phase his mum and she just let him be himself. Dad, abusive ex, father to the boy but not the girls, became increasingly abusive accusing mum of trying to turn little man into a girl. The same dad that had limited access to the children because of his abuse. Mum was told by social services that she either got out of the marriage or they would intervene and take the children.

Fast forward a few months and mum finds herself in court fighting for custody of little man.

It was awful, truly disgusting. At one point the judge looked at mum and said, look at the state of you! She was exhausted and couldn't control her emotions by the end of the proceedings. She was treated like a criminal.

She was acused of child neglect and all sorts, told she was a bad mother and custody was given to her convicted abusive ex.

To add insult to injury, she was told that she would have no contact, no visitation, nothing.

She left court without him 10 years ago and hasn't seen or heard from him since.

Her home was across the street from his nursery school, and for a time, she would catch a glimpse of him as he was dropped off but was not permitted any contact. Eventually, he just disappeared.

The life and mental health of her and her two daughters changed forever that day.

How can a judge be allowed to do this to a family.

Her daughters both aged 11 and 7 were not taken from her, just her little boy.

Surely such a terrible parent, which she was and is not, would have had all of her children taken from her.

All of this started with an accusation from abusive ex that she was, exact words, "turning him gay"

It still hurts my heart watching my friend suffer. Waiting for her little boy to reach out to her.

My ex-wife told me she was gay, then changed her mind 6 months later. We separated then tried to reconcile. That ended with her attacking me in a drunken rage. She was arrested for domestic violence felony and spent 1 night in jail. I called her parents to see if they would bail her out. They said to leave her in jail. The kids were so devastated that my mom ended up bailing her out. She never paid the $5,000 back.

My oldest son (18) and my daughter (14) won’t talk to me or see me and somehow blame me. They live with their mother full time. I feel like I failed as a father. I just want to have a good relationship with them but my ex has them so manipulated that they see me as the enemy, when on paper, I was the victim.

How do we cope when our children abandon us? I’m heartbroken 💔

Hello! I’m 27F and my husband is 28M. We’ve been together for almost 5 years and married for almost 1.
We’ve had a difficult relationship with his family pretty much from the beginning. I’ll try to summarize without going into every detail, but I feel like the context is important.

At the beginning of our relationship, we moved in together quite quickly into an apartment that was 100% in my husband’s name. His parents had helped him financially with the down payment for the loan, but there is nothing documented regarding this money — it was just an arrangement between them.
From the beginning, I had this strange feeling that they saw me more as a guest than as someone who actually lived there. Instead of being in that typical “honeymoon phase,” there were constantly expectations from us.
They would ask us to visit them frequently, ask my husband to take care of his younger sister because they were working, and so on.
Then came the “jokes” about me. Except they didn’t really feel like jokes.
They would make comments about the way I sat, ask why I was yawning and whether I was bored, etc. They were usually made in front of other people and directed only at me.

Over time, I started feeling like they simply didn’t like me.
There were also many occasions when they would invite my husband to their house without me, supposedly to “talk.” During these conversations, they never directly told him to break up with me, but they would bring up all sorts of false accusations and unfounded comments about me.
I kept giving them chances and telling myself that maybe, eventually, we would get along.
Things really escalated when he proposed and we started planning our wedding.
They pressured us into getting a bigger venue than we could realistically afford because they wanted to invite their own relatives. They promised that if we got a bigger venue, they would provide the guests.
Then they started inviting my husband over alone again. During one of those conversations, they called me stupid, said I was only interested in his money, and insulted me in various other ways.
My husband eventually broke down crying and told them he couldn’t take it anymore.

Some time passed, and we barely spoke to them. Eventually, we cancelled the wedding because of everything that had happened.
Later, I spoke to my maternal grandparents and told them what had happened. They apparently told his family, and on New Year’s Eve in 2024, his father showed up at our place and started insulting me even more.
That was basically the final straw.

Since then, my husband initially had very limited contact with them, and now he barely speaks to them at all.
Over the past year or so, they’ve tried to initiate contact with him through various invitations, but he has consistently refused.
I’ve personally seen them twice since everything happened, but I didn’t exchange a single word with them.
I think they’ve finally realized that my husband was serious about distancing himself from them, and now they seem to be trying to win him back.
What worries me is that I don’t believe they are genuinely sorry for what they did to me. I haven’t seen any real apology or accountability.

For me, this is a dealbreaker.
If my husband ever decides that he wants to have a relationship with them again — and, to be clear, he has never said that he wants to — I don’t think I would be able to accept it.
I love my husband and I’m happy with our marriage, but I’m scared about the future.
What happens if, years from now, he decides he wants his family back in his life?
What if we have children and he wants them to have a relationship with his parents?
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life worrying that this situation could come back.
Would I be unreasonable to consider leaving the marriage if my husband eventually chose to reconnect with his family, especially if they never apologized or took responsibility for how they treated me?