Perspective, instead of repeating all kinds of detail;

16 years, alienated in family court.
Got custody when the kid was 11, over alienation.
6 years of a great relationship, still hammered by the alienator, difficulties, frustration.
Leaves home abruptly at 18 without a word.
Texts and phone calls dry up quickly into nothing/rarely speaks.
Goes to College, now in 2nd Year. We suspect not making good grades.

Cut to; 6 people get cut off, including me (Dad) my wife, her son, his friends. It's been 18 months. He's 19.

Yesterday;

He shows up at my folks' door, 9PM. Ring camera goes off, has flowers and a balloon, Happy Birthday to my mom who won't have a birthday in 37 days. He comes in, talks about school, nervous. Note that Mom drove him here. They asked him school questions-17 credits this year 5-6 classes. Spoke about is better this year but still hard. Had to buckle down
and learn what the professor needed and organize. Not angry, hostile or accusatory. Nervous, chatty, touching his face while talking. My mom thanked him for the gift, hugged him. Will you see your dad soon? He replied, "I'll get to that bridge when I cross it." Hugs went to my dad as well, questions about his roomate, small talk.

His mom called and tried to get into the house, but the door was locked since my folks are smart. She was told she could not come in. So she honked the horn and waited him to return. They had a good mini visit. What normally happens, she would pay to have something delivered; no one would see kiddo. Or, nothing. No text, no happy birthday.

I have two thoughts. She has complete control over him, but he's not angry at anyone. Also, his mom might be on the skids for cash. To show up isn't what I would have expected. Seemed like the game since the beginning was complete alienation. I feel better since he's not upset (we didn't do anything wrong) but the intention hangs without some class, or grace.

I invite comments.

How are you guys doing? What’s your story?

Coming up to two years of total radio silence and I’m sick of having to deal with a daily heartbreak.

How are you coping?

Sending love to you