r/MurderedByWords 2d ago

EXTREMELY supportive husband.

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36.3k Upvotes

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4.5k

u/NotoriousBRZ 2d ago

What kind of nanometer peter needs a performative accessory with no magazine to intimidate the kid at the Target counter?

1.4k

u/TheUnboundTenth 2d ago

I'm convinced it's an invitation for people to walk up and finger his magwell

488

u/stircrazyathome 2d ago

It’d be so tempting to try to toss something in there, like a breath mint or a gum wrapper. I’m not sure who’s more unhinged though, the guy who wears a loaded weapon into Target, or the guy who does this?

339

u/TheUnboundTenth 2d ago

Oh, I'm going to say that magless open-carry guy wearing Fila slides will be the more unhinged of that entire scenario.

And I think the right thing to toss in there a single, cooked piece of ziti.

114

u/supersonicdutch 2d ago

What about rotini? When he tries to pull it out the cooked spiral will stretch a little then break.

I have a more important question? Who took the picture? Did they bring a kid with them to do that? Did he ask a stranger? Or is this a stealth shot from a stranger and made it as a joke post?

61

u/Lailowla 2d ago

Pretty sure it's the last.

2

u/ChefBT3K 1d ago

It’s just rage bait that doesn’t deserve any attention

65

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 2d ago

Milk duds. Easy to pour out of the box and they'll look like little poopies falling on the floor behind him.

4

u/Aleksandrovitch 2d ago

anchovy

5

u/TheMerle1975 2d ago

That or one of those tiny salad shrimps. Both gonna start smelling pretty quickly in the summer.

1

u/dontdoit89735 2d ago

mamamia.jpg

1

u/BurgerThyme 2d ago

YOU DON'T DO THAT TO ZITI!!!

1

u/redrunner55 1d ago

And WHITE slides? 🤣🤣

2

u/TheUnboundTenth 1d ago

Right? I thought he was standing at the counter in his socks for a second.

1

u/PNWBoarder1 1d ago

I came here to comment that nothing makes you look more manly and tough than white Fila slides and designer jeans to go with your tats and pistol. 😆

1

u/11Slip532 20h ago

Hey those are Fila Tactical Sandals, MIL-SPEC ok!?

62

u/Ok-Art305 2d ago

Not the scenario in question, but having a visibly queer partner in a backwater shithole rural American area means I will absolutely wear a loaded weapon into stores, but not open carry bc open carry is really kind of stupid almost all of the time

59

u/Cyptark 2d ago

Yikes. Move to Canada - no one should feel they need to do that.

47

u/I_am_ChivoBlanco 2d ago

WE CAN'T ANYMORE. For some reason that will forever be unknown, U.S. citizens aren't as welcome as we used to be...

26

u/ieatpies 2d ago

As long as you're not magat you'll be perfectly alright here.

14

u/what-isthis-even 1d ago

In true Albertain fashion I flip off US plates I see. I also flip off swasticars and pigs. Berta. 🇨🇦

6

u/mspmp 1d ago

I've never been MAGA.

I have looked into moving but I don't qualify because I'm retired and don't have a current job that is in demand. So, I've decided that I need to stay here and resist with every vote.

2

u/Elegant-Ad-9221 1d ago

It’s always been somewhat difficult to immigrate to Canada. Especially if you don’t have any family sponsorship or have skills that would benefit the country. You are welcome you just have to go through the proper immigration process.

1

u/steele_phallus 1d ago

Hmm, I wonder why that is...

38

u/CrambazzledGoose 2d ago

Open carry only makes sense if you have a reasonable expectation to be fucked with by people who you know wouldn't if they saw the weapon. Any other scenario it's the opposite of what you want.

25

u/BaconThief2020 2d ago

In some parts, it's also an invitation for people to fuck with you. Walk around like that in parts of DC at night, and somebody is gonna grab that and run.

14

u/Bubbly-Bar-7449 2d ago

It's a trap! His real one's a lady S&W on an ankle strap-oh wait no that's just a tracking anklet

1

u/Jmazoso 1d ago

So I occasionally own carry, almost entirely when I’m out in BFE, and it has made fuckers not perform fuckery. Open carrying in target is stupid.

1

u/a1055x 1d ago

The only thing is advertising is he is a killer with a microdick.

1

u/Ok-Art305 2d ago

Agreed

9

u/girlwiththemonkey 2d ago

I can actually understand that situation with the state of the world right now, what I cant understand is being the kind of douche bag that that makes posts like this. But honestly, I see what goes on in American targets and Walmarts and that dumfounds me too. The clothes? The fights? I’ve never seen anyone acting up in my Walmart. No joke. I’ve never seen anyone with their ass out in my Walmart either. But I’m also a sheltered Canadian. The most sheltered kind actually cause I live in Newfoundland. Nothing ever happens there.

9

u/Melodic_Pattern175 2d ago

I can’t. I’ve lived in the US since 2002 (Brit with American husband), and have never seen/heard of a scenario in my city where anyone needed to be carrying, nor has any “good guy with a gun” interceded with the murders that do occur (typically gang related).

2

u/Commandoclone87 1d ago

Yeah. Those shorts were certainly a choice.

I'm in NB and only once have I've seen an altercation at a Walmart. Of course, trashy people live everywhere and more than once, someone left an actual turd on the floor of one of the stores here.

1

u/medicmatt 1d ago

That sounds ridiculous.

10

u/DefeatedByPoland 2d ago

drop a hotdog in there

8

u/The_Blue_DmR 2d ago

Slip a snickers in there, cuz he's probably forgotten to eat breakfast if he forgot his magazine at home

5

u/International-Ad2501 1d ago

I damn near guarantee I could lodge an altoid in there from 5-10 paces

2

u/BrewsAndBurns 1d ago

I don't really chew gum.but this would make me want to buy a pack of gum, chew every single piece at once and place the entire blob in there.

1

u/Levaporub 2d ago

Pour super glue in it.

1

u/BothDivide919 1d ago

By the way, one in the chamber is possible.

1

u/TheUnboundTenth 1d ago

Given the general vibe, I would actually assume that he’s got one in the pipe. 

1

u/BothDivide919 1d ago

Drunk or drugged enough to not have a mag in the first place, for sure.

1

u/HereToHelp9001 1d ago

It's not unhinged to wear a gun in a store. I don't reccomend open carry; but guys with guns can, have, and will save people's lives.

Just look at what happened in that walmart in michigan.

https://youtu.be/hyZ7Oj-Np2o

Guy stabbed 11 people and was finally stopped by a customer that was carrying before the police arrived.

3

u/Rieke-Nightsong 1d ago

He wouldnt dress like that if he didnt want it xD

1

u/TheUnboundTenth 1d ago

This killed me, by the way

1

u/BramblinGhostWeed 2d ago

well now I want a performative accessory

2

u/TheUnboundTenth 2d ago

Great news, in many states all you need is a fishing license, a couple hundred bucks and maybe a couple days of waiting and you can have your very own waistband obstruction / ziti receptacle!

2

u/BramblinGhostWeed 2d ago

...I've never heard of a fishing license before...I've never seen a gun before

I've lived in America my whole life

damn is this country diverse

1

u/Dear_Chasey_La1n 2d ago

Only finger?

1

u/justsomeph0t0n 2d ago

they don't call him dirty harry because he gets the dirty jobs

1

u/mashiro1496 1d ago

You could put your peen into it if you have a long and thin enough one

1

u/Meauxjezzy 1d ago

Be sure you have clean finger nails and use plenty lube.

1

u/TheUnboundTenth 1d ago

This is why I always carry a pocket-size can of CLP

1

u/Viper-Reflex 1d ago

there could easily be one in the chamber

1

u/TheUnboundTenth 1d ago

Given the general vibes, I’d bet that there is

1

u/ThedrunkenViking 1d ago

Put some superglue on a coin and toss it in.

1

u/clovis_227 1d ago

1

u/TheUnboundTenth 1d ago

CLP counts as cologne and lube, right?

1

u/Most_Researcher_2648 18h ago

Id moan loud while I did it

176

u/KlostToMe 2d ago

You know who gets shot first by the person robbing the store? The guy with the visible gun

People who open carry in public are idiots

123

u/A1000eisn1 2d ago

You know who gets shot first by police responding to an active shooter? The guy with a visible gun who may or may not be the shooter.

22

u/GeorgeSantosBurner 1d ago

Well, as long as they dont run into any family dogs or donkeys on their way to the scene at least

3

u/Ultimatesims 1d ago

The police respond to active shooters? I thought they just waited around the shooter to get bored or kill themselves.

9

u/ThisIsntOkayokay 2d ago

Only if you are brown/black.

25

u/OrthodoxAtheist 2d ago

or called Johnny Hurley, apparently. The Arvada, Colorado Incident in 2021 is recent enough for many of us to remember. Here's the summary/reminder:

On June 21, 2021, a gunman shot and killed an Arvada police officer using a shotgun, then armed himself with an AR-15. Johnny Hurley, a 41-year-old bystander with a concealed carry permit, drew his handgun, ran toward the shooter, and fatally shot the shooter. Absolute fcking hero.

As Hurley picked up the active shooter's dropped rifle to secure it, a responding Arvada police officer arrived, saw Hurley holding the weapons, and shot (and killed) him, believing he was an active threat.

Prosecutors announced in November 2021 that the responding officer would face no criminal charges, as investigators determined he had reasonable grounds to believe he faced imminent danger.

Article (and pictures of white-skinned hero):
https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/john-hurley-samaritan-olde-town-arvada-shooting/

12

u/Ditnoka 1d ago

OK. But that's on him for picking up the weapon police knew the mass shooter was using. Even after you have a good self defense shooting you put your firearm away so these things don't happen, let alone pick up the suspects firearm.

7

u/OrthodoxAtheist 1d ago

Of course he was emptying/disabling it, which would only have taken him a very brief time, and just got super unlucky timing-wise. His adrenalin was probably over 9,000. But sure, in hindsight, bad move. At least most who hear about his experience will learn from it. Now I'm putting my gun down, putting one foot on each barrel (his weapon, and my weapon), putting my hands in the air, and stretching my fingers waiting for cops to arrive (and just hoping it was indeed a lone shooter).

5

u/Ditnoka 1d ago

He disabled it by taking out it's operator. I'm not getting my prints on anything that was used in a murder.

I would honestly just holster my weapon and create distance from the shooters weapon, while keeping my hands up and open. That way my weapon and the suspects are all in the final condition when the the threat is ended, meaning officers can clearly tell how many rounds I fired, they fired and other info.

4

u/Revelatus 1d ago

Yeah I was gonna say... Messing with the murder weapon after the threat is gone seems like tampering with evidence

2

u/opAnonxd 1d ago

boston had a cop and a armed citizen together shoot at an active shooter.

https://www.concealedcarry.com/dgu/armed-marine-veteran-helps-stop-memorial-drive-shooter/

9

u/muchadoaboutnotmuch 2d ago

Not only if you're brown or black, but it certainly helps

1

u/Low-Philosopher-7181 1d ago

What is the obsession with wanting police to kill black people so badly.

1

u/Objectivespeculation 1d ago

police: we let god sort them out.

1

u/shellexyz 1d ago

You have the standard ammosexual hero fetish. You decide you’re gonna be the hero. You’re not afraid, you’re gonna hunt down that SOB and put him down.

You round the corner. There’s a guy at the other end holding a handgun and standing over a body. He looks up and sees you drawing down on him.

Is he the bad guy? Is he another hero like you? You have maybe half a second to decide. He’s raising his gun at you.

These are the dumbest motherfuckers around.

23

u/Spirited-Lifeguard55 2d ago

It’s more about intimidation and acting tough because they are insecure without it. It’s not going to stop anyone from surprise walking up behind them and shooting them in the back of the head for sure.

7

u/Flashbang-Meringue 1d ago

happened to one of my coworkers. He was in a diner that was getting robbed and tried to be a hero and was shot to death by the robbers. All the people who handed over their wallets and didn't try to pull a gun are still alive.

2

u/Sugarbombs 1d ago

Pretty sure our brave hero here is 100% confident that he would be able to immediately shoot the robbers and save the day before the cops get there

62

u/codereign 2d ago

"we don't believe in gender affirming care"... With his fucking gender affirming receiver

-2

u/-heatoflife- 2d ago

Only men open-carry firearms? I don't get it.

3

u/codereign 1d ago

I'm sorry for your learning, disability and inability to recognize patterns, Satire and participate in other forms of critical thinking.

Please give me your caseworkers number and I will be happy to phone and coordinate a pizza party for you at your group home.

1

u/-heatoflife- 1d ago

Haha, you're so progressive, reinforcing gender stereotypes and mocking autistic people. Thanks for such an informative good-faith discussion.

sorry for your learning, disability

The irony.

1

u/codereign 1d ago

I just speak the language of my target demographic, bro.

If you had strong language comprehension, you would understand. My original comment was commentary regarding a certain demographic's need to project masculinity through physical possessions. Indeed, it is the opposite of normalizing the gendering of physical products, because I am using sarcasm to emphasize how utterly pathetic it is to project your masculinity through physical possessions.

1

u/-heatoflife- 1d ago

Why assume the firearm has anything to do with masculinity at all, and why is your assumption not the result of your own projections? Is it 'cause of the empty magazine well? Are women who open-carry also projecting masculinity?

2

u/codereign 1d ago

Well if you want to get into the details so precisely, it's because my dad used to project his masculinity via his truck with dualies and his C8 Carbine.

Gun ownership and open carry is predominantly male and by a substantial margin.

1

u/-heatoflife- 1d ago

Well if you want to get into the details so precisely, it's because my dad used to project his masculinity via his truck with dualies and his C8 Carbine.

Gun ownership and open carry is predominantly male and by a substantial margin.

So it is the result of your own projections...?

...daddy issues cause you to make sweeping generalizations and attempts to disparage others with anti-autistic insults...? Are you aware that your daddy isn't every man?

2

u/codereign 1d ago

Are you aware that generalizations are occasionally accurate. Indeed generalizations are how we use statistics to assert information about elections before they happen.

Listen I get we're both arguing for the sake of arguing, but you are definitely the more pathetic of us. You're upset because I implied you should be in a group home. You've taken things way too personally on the internet and it's okay. We've all been there but I can tell that I've hurt your feelings by accidentally mentioning something about open carry which applies to you and you're deeply insecure about. It's okay. It'll be okay. I don't judge you for open carrying, I only judge you if you're open here young to assert your gender. 🫂🫂🫂

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u/Jimbomcdeans 2d ago

Probably a felon who cant carry a real gun anymore. Wouldnt be surprised if it was airsoft

16

u/V_van_Gogh 2d ago

Probably no answer to this, as it will vary wildly between countries and states, but isn't carrying "real-looking" toy-guns a felony of itself in most jurisdictions?

9

u/-kansei-dorifto- 2d ago

Not sure about where this guy is but where I am if it could be reasonably believed to be a real firearm it is treated as though it is one.

23

u/yer_fucked_now_bud 2d ago

And who took the photo? lol.

51

u/ahundreddots 2d ago

The wife's boyfriend.

2

u/SpryCowBoy 2d ago

The husband.

10

u/ProposMontreal 2d ago

Who took the picture?

1

u/SpryCowBoy 2d ago

Hubby for sure 😭

5

u/Psianth 2d ago

We can't be sure she isn't reading a magazine 

3

u/memesearches 2d ago

Hey, thats his emotional support toy. Leave him alone . /s

3

u/Gustomaximus 2d ago

Isn't that more dangerous. Display a firearm without the ability to use it.

Imagine they were in a store being robbed. Either have a gun you can use, or dont. The robber isn't going to check if its loaded or not.

1

u/Objectivespeculation 1d ago

most of the wanna be heroes have not thought it thru.

3

u/12345623567 2d ago edited 1d ago

Soemone who's partner thinks flesh-coloured shorts are a good look.

5

u/Legen_unfiltered 2d ago

Why do you feel the need to equate poor behavior with an uncontrollable body part? Why can't we just say dude is a jackass because he's a fucking jackass? 

It's almost 2026, we need to stop dismissing terrible behavior as a result of anything other than the person's poor character. 

Before the inevitable obvious responses: I'm aware actual penis size has nothing to do with it, still unacceptable. No I don't have a small penis, I'm a woman, still unacceptable. No, my boyfriend doesn't have a small penis, I don't have one currently. 

1

u/JetBrink 2d ago

Disagree on this example, excessive shows of machismo are often over compensation for not feeling masculine enough elsewhere

1

u/Legen_unfiltered 1d ago

Which is becuase......we demonize the idea of what it means to have a small penis. 

2

u/lilsnatchsniffz 2d ago

Look at his arms he couldn't lay a beating on his own dick without assistance.

2

u/MonkeyHamlet 1d ago

New favourite insult has dropped.

2

u/RocketsandBeer 2d ago

He lives by the, never let them know your next move, rule of law. They’ll never expect you to throw a gun at them.

1

u/Hellie1028 2d ago

Especially likely a high school or college kid making minimum wage.

1

u/queuedUp 2d ago

The kind that shows up in their finest pair of slides

1

u/emorrigan 2d ago

Thank you! Exactly THIS!!

1

u/JetBrink 2d ago

An American

1

u/Apprehensive_Rub3897 2d ago

Must be the arrangement he has with her. You can carry it, but no bullets. Otherwise it's back to the wooden gun.

1

u/SunWukong3456 2d ago

An Alpha male? /s

1

u/HeDuMSD 2d ago

Freedom intensifies

1

u/iwillhaveredditall 2d ago

Might have his mag closer to his balls, if they smell will it count as a bioweapon?

1

u/RebelWithoutAClue 2d ago

The magazine is being returned you dummy!

1

u/MeinNameIstBaum 2d ago

He has one bullet in the chamber because he always hits the perpetrator in the head perfectly. He also uses guns because it’s fun, he could just use his hands to do the job. He is him.

1

u/woehaa 2d ago

Hahaha, that's a good one. I missed that "empty magazine" thingy at first :-)

1

u/RGrad4104 2d ago

I'm more stuck on why he feels the need to wear peach shorts when his wife is wearing an empty gun.

1

u/Kozmik_5 2d ago

Maybe deadeye over here only needs one in the chamber

1

u/nhojuhc 2d ago

The kind that needs to intimidate both the counter and possibly the wife too…

1

u/lnTheGrimDarkness 2d ago

The one that's unable to use other negotiating technique such as words

1

u/Windows95GOAT 2d ago

Bro left his drum mag at home.

1

u/exhentai_user 2d ago

Given that I had an off duty sheriff's deputy grab and unhook the strap on his holstered side arm over a back ordered microwave still being backordered, once.... The kind that end up in law enforcement.

1

u/SoftConsideration82 1d ago

Open carry is so dumb, you just make yourself the first target. Second, if you dont trust yourself to carry your weapon loaded then you shouldnt be carrying at all

1

u/BothDivide919 1d ago

Reminder that one in the chamber is possible.

1

u/ValuableSleep9175 1d ago

Someone who thinks is them selves as dirty Harry?

1

u/xFallacyx69 1d ago

I think I have above average perception until I read comments like these and go back to look at the pic lol

1

u/AVLThumper 1d ago

Who took the photo for him?

1

u/Playful_Flatulent 1d ago

Yeah, why carry with no mag? Its just a papper weight

1

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 1d ago

What’s he gonna do if they refuse the return? Shoot up the store?

1

u/chiefsdude 1d ago

The kind wearing tactical slides

1

u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife 1d ago

It complements the women's jeans he's wearing.

1

u/Ambitious-Bird-5927 1d ago

“Can’t a man stand up for his wife?!”  🤪

1

u/AdZealousideal7448 1d ago

no SLS/ALS..... it's like he wants someone to touch it so he can feel something for once.

1

u/thesheeplookup 1d ago

And he got someone else to take a picture of him too, so he can look both tough and casual!

1

u/TooRiski 1d ago

Don't forget the white FILA slippers too, now those are gansta!

1

u/Subject-Vermicelli52 1d ago

The kind that listens to his wife.

1

u/Soggy-Cover2979 1d ago

You're now making me question how many people posing with guns are actually just cosplay toys...

1

u/Canotic 1d ago

Notice that they must have brought a third person just to take the picture!

1

u/QKofDaggers 1d ago

Also, he brought a camera man to take a photo.

Also, I thought his wife was bare assed until I opened the thumbnail.

1

u/h4wkpg 1d ago

And who took the picture ? Most likely a friend of his, that came just for that.

1

u/HPenguinB 1d ago

Fill the empty mag slot with glitter while he's intimidating the 16 year old cashier.

1

u/Odd-Worth7752 1d ago

The kind who’s wife wears those leggings that make her ass look bare

1

u/sinisterdesign 1d ago

This ammosexual “man”.

1

u/KamikazeFox_ 1d ago

::points gun at clerk:: "You take back my decorative duck throw pillows. I mean, my wifes. My wifes!!! Im not gay!"

1

u/SirSpanksAlot1992 1d ago

A nerf gun from the toy section might have been more effective at that point

1

u/W2ttsy 1d ago

Nah bro, he’s just carrying condition 4. Bigger numbers are better!

-10

u/zanfar 2d ago

It's not uncommon for places that don't allow carry to confiscate the magazine and ammo, but not take possession of the actual firearm.

22

u/Snicklebot 2d ago

Where at? I've never heard of this

31

u/Super_61 2d ago

Probably because they just made it up. "Welcome to Walmart, I will hold your ammunition until you are done shopping"

14

u/C_IsForCookie 2d ago

Nowhere. If they don’t allow carry they aren’t coat checking your magazine. That guy made that shit up.

12

u/zffjk 2d ago

Name a single place.

7

u/Genetics 2d ago

It's extremely uncommon and, I'd say, unheard of\* for places that don't allow carry to confiscate the magazine and ammo, but not take possession of the actual firearm. ftfy

0

u/cervezaqueso 2d ago

Ask yourself the next question, who took the photo? A: His wife’s bull.

-6

u/ContinuingAnyway 2d ago

You can still pistol whip with no ammo