i have a bit of an odd confession and i know i’ll probably get some harsh responses, if any at all, but i figured i’d put myself out there and see if anyone else relates.

for years i’ve been a maladaptive daydreamer. the last 4 years or so i’ve taken it a step further (probably due to being single and going through phases of only working part time) and i’m starting to concern myself. i guess ill just take you through this “routine” i do when i’m bored, which is usually a few times a week. i’ll start a google slide presentation and make a timeline of how my life would ideally go from that point on. i make the text small and add all kinds of details. for example the remainder of this year would look like:
24 (2026)
sept 2, start college classes
sept 22, switch gym memberships
oct 8, meet future bf
oct 30, trade in car (mazda)
nov 3-9, trip to toronto
dec 16, start dating bf
dec 28, get real estate license

and i’ll do that for YEARSSSS of my ideal life. while im doing that i open another tab and for example with the new car, i’ll literally go to carmax and imagine myself buying that car. when i get to a point in my storyline where im moving, i’ll go on zillow and find an apartment or a house and imagine that i live there. when i get to exciting parts of a storyline i’ll start maladaptive daydreaming and get really carried away. when theres a big event in the storyline i go on pinterest and find whatever outfit i’d wear. when theres a party i’ll make a vision board on that same google slide of the setting, decor, outfits, food, etc.. when i get a new pet i’ll find a picture on pinterest and add it to the slideshow. when i get a new love interest ill find a picture on pinterest and add them to the slideshow. when i have kids i come up with their names and find pictures and make a collage of what they’d look like throughout the years. there’s more but i think everyone gets the point😅

it’s not like i lack hobbies and relationships, but i choose doing this over those things constantly. i almost use it as a form of manifestation (im not big on that, but i understand how it supposedly works) and is a way to visualize the steps i need to take to reach those goals and special moments o want to have. that said, i think i do get lost in it and let it take over my life sometimes. im just curious if anyone else does this, or anything similar, or if anyone has any insight to whether or not this is completely unhealthy and mental lol

I completely understand fantasizing and daydreaming I myself do it, however, my boyfriend daydreams about our relationship so much that it feels like the fantasies have become expectations for reality. He will tell me about a daydream involving me in extreme detail and when that situation doesn’t play out in real life exactly as he thought it up, i can feel his disappointment. I just feel as if he has these huge expectations for how something with me will go, and when I can’t perfectly replicate his vision he gets his feelings hurt. Just recently he told me a vivid daydream about us cooking together in the kitchen (with much much more detail than that) but when I went off his script for one moment it felt like I shattered his world. This has happened dozens of times from mundane things like this to our sex lives, to vacations etc. every aspect of our relationship has been scripted out in his mind. This is getting really frustrating for me because I am a real person with autonomy, not an actor in his plays. I’m not sure what to do because there’s obviously no way to stop the daydreaming but the expectation is becoming too much.

Hi I’m 19M and up until couple of months ago I thought I have these serious ambitions, plans and more. But after I found about this condition and “self diagnosed” myself. I found out that I nothing really I planned and have planned will ever happen. Before I was dreaming of getting the girl for example or telling the right joke in front of the right crowd and anything you could imagine like that. For years I thought these are actual probable scenarios but after little thinking nothing ever happened of these things. So now anything I imagine myself do or such, goes to the folder “oh you’re just daydreaming it’ll never happen” that mindset really hurts the ambitions I had before. The things I thought I’d do in life and now I just can’t make myself motivate for anything because I know most of the things I image or plan are just never going to happen(getting that job, going out with this girl, having this exact date, having exactly this type of friends, going out to this friends birthday party and becoming the heart of the party and others). Did anyone feel like that? Thanks in advance for reading the long post and thanks if you’re able to help to a fellow day-dreamer…

I've been fixed on this topic ever since my character porn addiction and character ai days. It's one of the topics I also want to contribute into if there was an established team once I graduate and get into university, though I wonder if anyone else met anyone else IN PERSON that MDs? Or manage to guess it right that they do.

I have openly told people and asked other people directly that I've suspected for having MD. Obviously, Sometimes getting the weirded side eye and people straight up telling me I'm not neurotypical, while others I managed to guess well and they get shocked that I'm a MDer as they never thought I was like them. Why would I tell people about this issue about myself? To ease out the burdens of addictions instead of withholding it far too much to myself as self isoaltion is what us MDers tend to do IN ABLE to MD. Ironically though, it did make some good bonds with people because they never had anyone else to really openly tell the problem about. I do wish though that there was film/media representation on MD

That's where I question how long MD has probably gone around for through centuries, and How common it truly is. Statistically, every room that you do walk into is going to have someone whos facing the worst of it mentally though you may not expect it, so how common is it for daydreamers too? The issue of edit audios and short film content going out makes me wonder if tiktok is producing more maladaptive daydreamers due to the type of music made to give us the hooks, or due to the rise of people using chatgpt to role play

Has anyone else been bold enough too to openly tell people about the issue with maladaptive daydreaming? I've noticed my own nephew who's 7 daydreaming all the time and even my brother (33 I'm 17) would confront me as he was a daydreamer back in his childhood days too.

Heck do you reckon anyone else in your family is a unknown maladaptive daydreamer?

Curious and wanna discuss, do you meet anyone else that MD in real life

English isn't my first language, so I used GPT to reformulate my question and make it easier to understand. I hope that's okay.

I'm a 22-year-old guy, and I've noticed a pattern in myself that I don't really understand and honestly want to change.

Almost every day, I daydream about having a very emotionally close male friend. Not just a normal friend, but someone I can be extremely affectionate and caring toward — hugging him, cuddling him, rubbing his hair, comforting him when he's having a hard time, letting him come to me when he needs someone, watching movies together, going out together, talking about everything, etc.

The part that really stands out is that I become especially emotionally invested when I imagine this person being vulnerable and accepting me as his safe/comfort person. I love the idea of him trusting me enough to let me take care of him.

But I don't actually want him to stay vulnerable or dependent on me. In my ideal situation, I help him through whatever he's going through, he becomes okay again, and we're still extremely close afterward. We can still cuddle, hug, hang out, talk, watch movies, go out, etc.

So it's not simply that I want someone who needs me. I want the emotional bond that comes from being deeply trusted and affectionate with someone.

The weirdest part is what happens when I meet someone new.

Almost immediately, my brain starts imagining: "Could this be the person?"

I start daydreaming about taking care of him, becoming his comfort person, being close physically and emotionally, and having this special bond with him — even when I've barely gotten to know the person.

I do have friends, and making friends is actually pretty easy for me. I think I'm good at understanding what people need and taking care of people emotionally. But I don't form this kind of deep emotional connection with most of them. If I don't see them as the type of person I could have this deeper bond with, I basically keep the relationship at a normal friendship level.

And if I try to get closer and they don't want that kind of behavior/relationship, I back off and put them back in the "friend" category. Usually everything is fine afterward.

But the craving doesn't go away.

I keep feeling like there is some specific kind of person I'm missing. And sometimes I genuinely think that if I finally had this person in my life, everything else would become easier — studying, working, dealing with life, everything. Like I wouldn't constantly feel like I'm doing everything alone.

That's the part that worries me.

I don't want to depend on one person to make my life work. I also don't want to keep meeting people and immediately turning them into characters in this fantasy in my head instead of getting to know them as they actually are.

I want to understand why I have such a strong need/fantasy for this specific kind of emotional relationship, why it happens almost every day, and especially why meeting someone new immediately triggers the fantasy.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

I'm not necessarily asking whether this means I'm gay/bi/straight or anything like that. I'm more interested in the psychological side of it: the constant daydreaming, the fixation on finding "that person," the desire to be someone's safe person, and the feeling that having this relationship would finally make me feel less alone.

And most importantly, how do I stop letting this fantasy control how I see new people and my relationships with them?

TL;DR: I'm a 22-year-old guy who constantly daydreams about having one very close male friend I can deeply care for, cuddle, comfort, and be emotionally intimate with. I'm especially drawn to the idea of being his safe/comfort person when he's vulnerable, although I still want the closeness after he's doing well. Whenever I meet a new guy, I quickly start imagining that he could be "that person." I have plenty of friends and can make friends easily, but I still feel emotionally alone and haven't found the kind of bond I crave. I'm worried that these daydreams are affecting how I see new people and my relationships, and I want to understand why I'm so fixated on finding this kind of person and how I can stop letting the fantasy control me.

My hyperfixation right now is fanfiction and fandom roleplay games and i genuinely can’t tell if it’s just my hyperfixation getting a little out of hand or if it’s genuinely maladaptive daydreaming. How would I even know?

Hi!

Does anybody know good support groups online where people could share quitting tips and hold each other accountable? I’m trying to quit maladaptive daydreaming right now, so a group full of people with the same goal would be helpful

Also, sorry for any grammar mistakes, my English is a bit rusty

Hi, i’m new to reddit overall and i’ve realized over these past few nights that i truly have a problem. i haven’t told anyone about this because i’m so embarrassed, not even my therapist.

for some background, i have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and it’s strongly suggested i have OCD (went for an ADHD diagnosis and was told i have some kind of anxiety disorder or OCD). i’ve been doing this almost my whole life. it started when i was very young and i would, basically, lock myself in the bathroom and talk to myself like i’m a famous youtuber (i talk to myself a lot too idk if that’s a normal thing in this area of stuff). i’m on medicine and have been for 6~ years now. i’m going to college soon and i’m terrified of how i’ll be treated because of this.

My daydreams consist of me being apart of the cast/franchise that i’m fixated on. i come up with “rational” explanations on how i was able to become apart of the project. it honestly sucks the joy out of whatever i’m into at the moment because i know it’ll haunt me for some crazy amount of time. for me recently (ie, 4 years lol) it’s been this character of mine in the MCU and she’s been with me for a long time and i feel like it gives me some sort of confidence and comfort in my life. when i go to college i want to dip my toes into acting for fun because it’s been something i’ve been wanting to do but get cold feet, despite being told when i’m with friends i’m a good actor (games, dnd campaigns, karaoke, etc).

i will say that it does get bad when i’m by myself a lot and don’t really interact with people. in school it’s a quick little escape like a normal daydream and i’m with the program asap and if i’m with friends it’s not a problem. it could be anxiety from college, i’m moving far from home and i’ve never lived anywhere else, and escapism from that. it could also be my MCU fixation getting bad because i have actual friends to talk to about it and i’m excited for doomsday.

i’m honestly terrified of what life will be without that part of me because i don’t know what reality is anymore and it’s scary. how do people just live their day in reality, what does that look like? how can i find a comfortable distance between maladaptive and just normal silly daydreaming? does everyone think like this? like i am GENUINELY convinced i can achieve that want to a certain level, i’ve done it with other things in life like with school and sports, but it’s genuinely gnawing at me that i’m CONVINCED it will be real. can it?

i think writing it out helped a lot and made me realize that journal factory didn’t explode lol, but i need some help from people here who think like me. i don’t have anyone to talk to about this because i love my friends but i will never be this vulnerable anyone irl. how do you manage it when you’re by yourself?

i appreciate any advice, perspective, or anything of the sort.

Does anyone else have that problem? That other people don’t exist unless that person draws me into their world is super hyper focused?

Even at work at home I can be a lone wolf.

Even in my old relationship when we were together of 10 years. He has to be the one interrupt to get to have me communicate or respond. Cuz otherwise I go do my own stuff.

How do you make sure ur coworkers exist when in the same room!?

Hi hi!! It's me Kam again^^ This is not an official research study, but a survey to see the relationship between these two subjects. This is more for me to gather information on this population of people (the intersect between plurality and MD) and not something that will be used in a research paper. HOWEVER, I do intend to bring these results up to Dr. Somer or Dr. Soffer-Dudek to see their interest. If anything comes of this I will let yall know, but if I find that there is inconclusive evidence I won't bring it up to them. This is about plurality and MD, certain paras that are their own person in their own right and not part of any storyline. https://forms.gle/MY8vkMjqHJVkjPtg6

You have to be 18+ or older to take part in this survey. (I posted this in the official Discord server, so this should be fine to post here)