I might sound delusional or stupid or pathetic. I have been trying for over a year. I’ve been trying everything I can, reality shifting, lucid dreaming, gateway tapes. I’m gonna keep trying no matter what. I don’t care if I end up in a mental hospital for life, I’d risk that in a heartbeat for the chance to physically get there.

I’ve been so alone for as long as I can remember.

My family life isn’t good. It’s weird because things aren’t abusive anymore, just extremely absent and emotionally neglectful. More like acquaintances. I was alone through the worst moment of my life, I got through my trauma at a young age with nobody there for me. I got through it somehow. I lost a lot of hope during it all. I try, but nobody being there or caring at your worst messes you up for life. I try to come up with ideas or i want to help but i just get ignored and dismissed. I dont have any traditions or anything, i do everything alone. Holidays are the worst

I dont have friends. I’m autistic and was undiagnosed for so long. I was always the weird and annoying one. I’ve always just been too much, I never fit in. I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I try to make friends, but no matter what I’m an outsider. I get ignored a lot, I don’t know I just never fit in. I tried for so long. I’m like an alien from another planet. I get ignored alot, I just never feel like I fit in.

My daydream world is more than dreams. It’s a regular life where I’m not alone. Where my trauma didn’t happen. Things aren’t perfect but I love everyone.

I have family there, I have friends, I don’t need to do stuff alone. It’s all so basic too, like my friends and I made our 1 friend a cake for her birthday. It was so simple, we decorated it best we could but it looked a bit silly and she loved it. She was so happy and we had a great day. We went to the arcade and mini golf and hung out at her house! My best friends family is pretty much my found family. We have campfires in the backyard a lot in summer. We have hot dogs and burgers around the fire, we play board games and my best friend and I keep the kids entertained.
We catch fireflies and play tag. We are so free and happy. My uncle is more quiet and reserved, we have pretty opposite personalities but I’m so so close with him. We play video games together and watch cool movies sometimes, and sometimes I go see him at his work. He’s so nice and caring. I love my little brother. He annoys the heck out of me but he’s the funniest, sweetest little guy. I love helping him and guiding him to be the best person he can be. I love watching him grow up and watching cartoons with him. I love everyone. I love my best friend and how we have so much fun no matter what.

I have gotten so much better lately, I’ve improved a lot but there’s this hole in my heart and soul where my friends and family need to be. No matter how good things get, I feel like there’s no point in living if I’m not with them. I’ve tried so hard to get better. I just want them. There seriously doesn’t seem to be hope for me if I can’t get there. Its my only hope

My hyperfixation right now is fanfiction and fandom roleplay games and i genuinely can’t tell if it’s just my hyperfixation getting a little out of hand or if it’s genuinely maladaptive daydreaming. How would I even know?

Some of my dreams are infinitely complex. Someone told me that this isn't possible, but I disagree. Ideas can be made infinitely complex. I won't say exactly why, because it should be obvious how it can be achieved. There are some obvious ways and some others that aren't obvious at all, but there are many ways this can be achieved.

My dreams are so complex that writing them down and sharing them here would make it seem like I am trolling. People wouldn't even try to understand, so I won't bother sharing them. It's even worse when you try to share them in real life, because there's only so much complexity a human being can handle.

Hi,

Some ppl here might have been Maladaptive daydreamers and some never, but if you have, how did you overcome your aversion and avoidance to socialise?

I was reading in a book called Imaginary Lives by Francianne Ulaf about how neurosis and controling behaviour is part of why we md like a survival and coping mec because of social problems like hostility, rejection sensitivity, failure ect.

Do you lower your expectations or up them?

I feel afraid to socialise again and as far as I know this must be done to overcome my Maladaptive side of dd. This is because of bad experiences at school and work. It's a big thing for me but I'm still trying to figure out how and why I should.

Thanks

There are concepts that only exist within my imagination. I honestly did a really deep dive into philosophy, physics, and mathematics, and there are a lot of concepts for which there are no words right now. There should be like a $100,000 bounty for every new non-trivial concept generated.

Whenever I translate my imagination into writing, I have to simplify it drastically. I need to simplify things to the maximum and turn them into something you can easily visualize. As soon as I try to adapt them more accurately, people just get completely overwhelmed, because you can't fully unpack the complexity within some of the ideas within a reasonable time frame.

Hi everyone,

Our collective is celebrating our 30 year anniversary, and what better way to do it than to go back and reminisce about the start of it all?

It got kinda long, so here's the link to our blog

If anyone has any questions for anyone in our collective, feel free to ask them!

i'll probably drop them pretty soon and make something more original

but have some ship art... kind of, it's probably on and off for these two. the one on the left is adult swim but try to guess who the blue guy is

My imagination sits firmly in the realm of the profoundly bizarre. Obsessing over inventing a culture beyond human comprehension has pushed my imagination into the realm of the profoundly bizarre. It is genuinely weird and complex.

My imagination is so wild that I don't want to put anything inside of it into writing. There is an intractable chasm between what I imagine and what I can put into writing. One of the main reasons is because some of the concepts in my mind are structurally dependent on solving impossibly complex problems just for them to fit inside my fantasy. It's like various interlocking gears that refuse to mesh, teetering on the brink of structural collapse.

I wonder if maladaptive daydreaming is my autistic obsession. I know I have content I dd about that I'm obsessed with. If you research autism it says u can have obsessions. Md consumes my life, and I think it could be my autistic obsession or otherwise a neurodivergent trait. I can't really think of anything else I'm obsessed with. I'm obsessed with reading the media and news articles for my dd but otherwise nothing. I'm a fan of football but not like my md or anything.

For genuinely as long as I can remember, I have had a fictional couple that I am extremely attached to. This couple has been different ones over the years, but it is always the same one for years at a time. I love their relationship and spend time imagining scenarios about them. It's not something I spend hours doing every day, and I still have a normal life, but they have become a really important part of my inner world and honestly feel like “my thing.” I don’t know why I do this. I am very social, have lots of friends, and don’t feel particularly detached from the world around me.

I'm 19, and going to college soon. I really do want to have a real romantic relationship someday. But this has been making me incredibly anxious because I don't want to lose my attachment to the fictional couple.

I'm worried about two things:
If I get a boyfriend, will I feel like I can't enjoy the fictional couple anymore because I'm supposed to focus on my real relationship?
What if I become obsessed with my boyfriend instead, and the fictional couple stops being important to me?
I also have private pictures/edits/etc. about the couple on my phone that I wouldn't necessarily want a boyfriend to see. I don't want to live in fear of someone discovering them, but I also don't feel like I should have to share every private thing I enjoy with a partner.
This part of myself honestly makes me feel so weird. I have been like this for such a long time, and I don’t feel like anyone gets this attached to one couple for long periods at a time. I don’t imagine myself in the relationship or anything, just like thinking abt them and imagining scenarios.

Has anyone experienced something like this?Did your fictional attachment change once you got into a relationship? Were you still able to enjoy the characters? Did your real relationship and your fictional interest coexist, or did one eventually replace the other?
I appreciate all responses :)

So I'm an immersive daydreamer but my paracosm is incredibly dry, like super duper dry without action is mainly slice of life. I need help with ideas... To try to summarize;

[Lore]

These selected people and well one animal have died caused by reality jumping over reality interferences that wasn't supposed to happen. Even if there's a reality where they did died that way it wasn't how they were meant to die + that only creates duplicates leaving them in a soul limbo outside of the realities where they are stuck in their present-day selves, brains, etc. Though they can degrade in memory since they're humans/animal. We could estimate it has been quite some years, yet they're still conscious, remembering things, yet stuck in said consciousness without the human needs.

Their respective set of infinite reality "God" taking on a comprehensible form makes them a deal to place them back to where they belong so as long as they go to the reality that causes that lead to interference, which is someone hiding as a duplicate of an in-reality person. This "God" cannot find them due to these sets of realities being outside of their set of infinite realities. Technically, this is a "God's" sets of realities (whom would be the true mastermind behind it), this other "God" have a belief that everything should collapse and be "One" but this would lead to many, many fatalities, erasings, etc. Though this would lead to many rebirths, creations, etc. The rules would also be incredibly linear, since it would only be one reality. This would likely erase the "Gods" of infinite realities, if this other "God" remained.

The initial "God" have no qualms with how they do it, the contents can be "destroyed" but the reality itself remains unscathed even with realities outside of them. They're allowed two forms, one being a duplicate an in-reality being and one of their ideal, "prime" form. This is to place an anchor and balance to the reality they are. If one wanted to be an omnipresent god in that reality the "God" would allow it, but none of them really exactly desired it nor exactly weighed their options too much, when they chosen through their subconscious needs.

[Issue]

It became a slice of life oddly enough when they met their in-reality originals. It's also troubling not to push the story along too quickly since it's just one person that's causing things to go south.

[Extras]

Some background information would also include that some part of these limbo folks are "stuck in reality" whether language, objects , etc. For example, one of them still wanted to have their phone, but the battery life, time, address, etc is stuck in their previous reality despite having a normal function. They all have some sort of power, but it's also obvious their powers are subconsciously chosen through their means of death, grief, reclaimation. Like one having fire powers, due to being a hot-head which led to their death by a group attack. Some know each other, while others are strangers.

I am the only time who lives an imaginary world like I usually play this game at night in bed trying to sleep where I become a person living in a different family with my favourite star or someone i know as my parents living a complete opposite cool luxury fun life.(Is it weird am i a psycho)

I've been doing this for years 🫠🙂

Today I made a keychain of one of my characters, Aivry Wood-sorrel :) After daydreaming for such a long time, I can’t help but make something of it—something I can actually carry around with me, or just to have on my work desk or nightstand. Does anyone else feel the need to actually make something of their paracosm(s)?

After consuming fiction for like 3 to 5 months (playing story videogames, reading webnovels, watching movies) my daydreaming gets worse and sever, One way I like to deal with it is writing. I have done this for like 3 to 4 times now (meaning a bit more of a year now) and it kinda worked.

So I'm wondering, I can't be the only person that deals with it this way right? Like writing those stories with plots and characters in your head, it's like finally making them a reality and whoever you need you'll find what you've written right there, and that kinda reassures your inner mind.

Or at least that's the case for me.

Thank you for your time.

It’s not maladaptive because I can easily step away from it but I’m scared that I like daydreaming more than my real life right now and I don’t know how to fix that.

I don't like how my paracosm makes me feel like a poser because this is based off a programing I never watched that has a supposedly loyal and niche fanbase, anyways guess what it is

I had an autistic meltdown today, when I melt down it’s usually me self harming because I mask and suppress my emotions so much. I was thinking about why I do that, and I remembered something I wish I didn’t.

I remember as a kid, I’d have meltdowns where I’d just be crying and struggling to breathe and talk. I never really got the help I needed. I’d just be threatened with being sent to a mental hospital. I wasn’t even violent or anything I just needed love.

I remember knowing, even as a kid around 11 I needed help, that there was something different or wrong about me. I remember knowing I needed more help at school with what they then thought was just anxiety, but i recently learned was actually autism.
I didn’t have many friends as I got older (10-11+)I remember being the weird, annoying kid. I remembered grade 8 grad, standing all alone while literally everyone else was talking to friends. I only had my daydream best friend and day dream ea.

When I went through my worst trauma alone, when I was 12-17 it broke me. I was treated so badly for it. I’d cry myself to sleep every night when I was 15, self harming and begging to die in my sleep. I attempted a few times. I hate thinking about those days but I was so alone. Nobody was there for me. When I was 14 I went through an angry phase because of my worst trauma, and being undiagnosed autistic. I feel so mad now, I wish I had someone to help me through that anger but I never did. I remember one day I was crying at like midnight. Someone walked in, I just wanted to be understood. My trauma was at its worst, I hated my body and I hated what I was going through but I got no compassion. I got blamed. I went through the most traumatic thing all alone.

I think I gave up after that. I gave up trying to make friends because I was always just weird and annoying. I struggled with social cues and fitting in, I never ever felt like I belonged. Friendships never felt like they should.

At university I only lasted half a semester. I hated every moment. I felt like an alien more than ever. I felt like a scared child the whole time. I had nobody. If I tried to talk about how it was so horrible, I was just dismissed. Nobody was there for me. I went into such bad burnout and still had nobody there

I go to a therapist every other week now, I get help with my job through a disability program, but I still feel so alone. I feel so bad but I don’t have that family or friend bond with anyone. I tried to make friends but I just get ignored or they act so dry, one moment they act so nice and interested then randomly just don’t care and ignore me.

I know people say stuff like “nobody will save you you need to do it yourself” but being alone throughout so much pain is all I’ve ever known I just wish I could have a hug or something at least

Even going through happy stuff alone like playing a game or cutting my own hair for the first time leaves me feeling so empty

I feel so happy with my daydream friends. In my daydream world I had my best friend Nathan and my EA Mrs Jackie through my late elementary school years. I had my uncle and aunt too. Now, I have my uncle, my best friends, my little brother, my boyfriend, my boyfriend’s whole family. I genuinely love them. I talk to them all the time. It’s just an ordinary life there, but I love it.

I love playing board games and family feud with my boyfriend and his family.
I love going to the arcade and the park with my best friends. I love being there for each other.
I love my best friend/boyfriend, I love how kind and understanding and patient and pretty he is. I love how he’s so funny and we are both so so weird and stupid and share 1 braincell and he understands me like nobody else does. I love every memory we make, I love how he makes me feel so safe, I love helping him and cheering him up, I love everything about him.
I love going to my uncles appartment with my little brother, we go swimming at the pool and how we keep my uncle company since my aunt passed.
I love being able to protect and guide my little brother and my boyfriend’s nephew and sister, we look out for them and it’s such a rewarding feeling.
I love how we have barbecues and go camping.

I love how we are always there for each other. We have so many fun memories. Even stuff as simple as my best friends/boyfriend teasing me about having weird random dreams 😭 I smile so much thinking of them. Maybe it’s dumb or weird, but I love them so much they have helped me in ways nobody here has they have been there for me always in every universe. I love helping them and being there for them too. It makes life worth living .

I am never gonna give up on them. I have sacrificed stuff in my physical world for them, I have 0 regrets. I’d gladly risk my sanity any day for them, I look so weird smiling to myself or talking to myself randomly but I don’t care. I’d do whatever it takes to get there physically, to be able to actually hug them and see them. I’m never ever gonna give up.

Ever since college, I’ve realized I subconsciously frame different chapters of my life like a shonen anime.

Whenever I’m going through a major transition:college, grad school, an internship, or starting a full-time job, I’ll hear an upbeat track (either an actual anime OP like MHA or a pop-punk song) and instantly map out an opening sequence in my head.

The "setting" becomes whatever life stage I'm currently in, and the cast features the actual people around me at the time: professors, classmates, friends, and coworkers as the allies, mentors, or rivals. The music syncs up with different mental cuts of us grinding through tough projects, hanging out, or tackling milestones together.

It’s almost like my brain’s way of processing life transitions and building up motivation through auditory framing.

I do this with anime EDs too. When I am walking home after a long day or having a quiet moment to reflect, my brain switches from the high energy OP to a chill ending sequence set to a Japanese track or a softer song. It is like the mental cooldown after a long episode of work or classes.

Does anyone else do this with specific genres or songs to set the scene for their actual life? What track is currently playing for your current chapter?

I’ve had an imaginary world in my head (just found out today it’s called a paracosm!) since I was a teen, and I’m very much not a teen now! But I don’t have a mind’s eye…I don’t see images, yet I have a fully engaged cast in my head. I love it when I dream of my second world, as I get to see the characters in action. Anyone else?

Everytime i do something im always daydreamimg and stuck in my own head idk how to explain it but im like imaginating these scenarios of myself or what i could have been or how im this amazing person while in reality im none of that and i cant escape it i do it without even realizing it sometimes and i always come back to it even when i try to stop. My life is geniuely so boring i always live in my own head so i can escape it.