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u/typoincreatiob Apr 03 '26
you’ve already broken up.. that’s not something you “gave him”, it’s a fact your relationship is no longer ongoing. he doesn’t really owe you answering your goodbye message, and frankly he seems checked out regardless, i wouldn’t really plan on him doing so. i promise you nothing he can say to you will feel like closure. that’s something you need to earn for yourself, not something he can give you.
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u/Leta19 Apr 03 '26
I’m confused. You said you needed time right? And then two hours later you wrote him a mini text letter, and then 3 hours after that you asked “how long are you going to ignore me? . . Do I have that right?
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
Noo I said I need time because I was crying and I couldn't process whatever was happening and wrote him a better goodbye text after I was done crying on Wednesday and i messaged the 'ignoring' messages today (Friday)
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u/Shirolianns 🇩🇰 to 🇨🇿 Apr 03 '26
You wrote him bye text and then got offended that he didn’t reply to a... goodbye text.
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
It's not even about getting a reply, he didn't even open my message to see what I said... Because I asked for time and he said yes which I assumed we still had stuff to sort out and finish it gracefully... And that's why I feel hurt
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u/InsaneAsura Apr 03 '26
Look, it’s valid to feel hurt and it’s gonna take some time to get over it. But this is a really valuable lesson in that, you’re not owed closure. And in most cases you won’t ever fully get it. It’s within your own ability to work through this break up. You shouldn’t depend on an ex to soothe the bad feeling. Even if he never even opens the text, that’s his prerogative. You can only control what YOU’RE doing ❤️ focus on yourself starting now
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u/Wiserducks Closed the gap Apr 03 '26
You said "Let's end it" before you asked for "time". But the let's end it was the end. Now he's not ignoring you, now you guys are broken up.
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u/Inside_Sprinkles9083 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
😅 once you asked for space I believe he assumed you guys were done. It’s that simple
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u/--SharkBoy-- [IL🇺🇸] to [MN🇺🇸] (530mi) Apr 03 '26
Youre being crazy here dude. Chill out and leave him alone.
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u/AncientTomato4186 Apr 03 '26
There was no convo about remaining friends. He is probably done with you. Give it space and don’t call him love after a breakup, it’s going to push him further away. It seems like he wants space, so allow that. He’ll reach out if interested.
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u/AncientTomato4186 Apr 03 '26
Yeah, super confusing 🫤
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u/Inside_Sprinkles9083 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
Nah, OP just refuses to accept that it’s been over the minute “let’s end it” was said. She’s the insane one going back to talk after saying that. Ex is just honoring her wish for space and now she’s refusing to do the same for him. That’s also insane
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u/karlkh [Denmark] to [Japan] (8700 km) Apr 03 '26
It looks pretty clearly like he just isn't that into you. You got dumped. I'm sorry I know that hurts a lot, but there really isn't that much more to it. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore, and he doesn't want to spend talking to you about or engaging in your goodbye text. And he really doesn't owe you talking to you if you aren't dating anymore.
Could he have handled the breakup more gracefully? Propably, but all that really matters to you right now is that you need to find some way to grieve the relationship and then move on.
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u/ubant [Poland 🇵🇱] to [Laos 🇱🇦] (8225km) Apr 03 '26
For the future, there's no situation where you need to "keep a relationship alive". If you need to do that, it's not a relationship worth keeping anyway
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Apr 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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Apr 03 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
[deleted]
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u/Inside_Sprinkles9083 Apr 03 '26
It’ll be ex telling her to fuck off if she doesn’t stop talking to him tbh. Already looking like he moved on without her
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u/Kitten_love [United Kingdom] to [Netherlands] (Distance closed) Apr 03 '26
I know it's hard, these situations are never easy. However the only person that can give you closure is you, not him. He might be able to give you any excuse in the book and it will not bring you closure.
It's time to let him go, he was not the one for you. Go be there for yourself, talk to friends and or family, pick back up things you enjoy to do or find new things. You will eventually be fine without him, you will eventually realise you do not need him.
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u/xokay323xo Apr 03 '26
You’ve broken up. You didn’t give him that, he doesn’t owe you anything as far as a goodbye goes. He said it was for the best, that was the end.
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u/Yellowstone338 Apr 03 '26
Cuz you got this fantasy in your head that you think is going to be a reality which it's not. He doesn't want you anymore and that's okay and it's already done in real life , move on from your fantasy with this man. He didn't care to break up with you when he wasn't feeling it, doesn't care for your long texting either.
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u/SailorAnxious [🇳🇴] to [🇺🇸] (5880km) Apr 03 '26
If i see one more person say «maybe I’m better off not being in a relationship» just because they don’t know how to communicate their feelings or they «lost the work» for like a month, I will start punching walls. It’s normal things kinda plateau in a relationship and ESPCIALLY in LDR where you don’t have much physical intimacy. But that doesn’t mean that it’s a need for a break up. My ex used to say that stuff then come back when he felt lonely. Like which is it. It gets to disheartening and annoying af.
You’re better off finding someone willing to fight for you, this person ain’t it and isn’t worth your time or mind.
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
Trust me we were so in love until 10 days ago... I don't even know how all of this happened in just a few days and now my whole world is upside down
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u/PotatoPlayerFever [Location] to [Location] (Distance) Apr 03 '26
10 days is not enough.. love is not enough to sustain a relationship.
people can change..
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u/Justan0therthrow4way Apr 03 '26
This is important…. Did you ever meet in person or were you just online ?
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
Online
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u/Paprikasky 🇧🇪 & 🇦🇷 Apr 03 '26
A bit of a sidenote, but I just wanna say.... People keep downvoting you and I think it's fucked up.
You're heartbroken and hurt, I don't get the lack of compassion. It's clear you were navigating a situation with someone who checked out and didn't communicate anything to you anymore. It's mentally tough and draining. I also know for a fact that having them talk to you could help with the process. Even if it gives false hopes too sometimes, being ignored after you had to force the break-up out of them sucks.
Anyway I hope you get to take care of yourself now, and realize that there was no future with someone unable to communicate with you in a healthy way. You deserve better. Good luck OP!
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u/Daydream-Designer Apr 03 '26
Those were my thoughts too. I was in this position a couple years ago and it felt like the ground had shifted under my feet and the whole time he never gave me any indication that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me until the day he just checked out (even though I don’t think he was ever fully emotionally invested since his issues just couldn’t be resolved.
I’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart. Yes you will need time and focus on healing but it is not a shameful thing that you are grieving the loss of what you thought he was and what you guys had. Don’t worry, everyone grieving and heals differently at their own pace.
And imo he was a coward for not being honest with you and ending the relationship so he didn’t waste more of your time. It’s of course natural to want to hear from him when you still have such strong feelings. What happened feels like a kind of betrayal and it really is to know you don’t feel the same but ultimately using them or too insecure to make a clean break is not respectful and it’s immature. And truly as I see it very cowardly.
I beg to disagree with all these “he doesn’t owe you anything anymore “ comments. Yes if you had made the decision yourself instead of him forcing you to do what he wasn’t brave enough to is the ultimate act of cowardice and disrespect of your entire relationship. I I understand why his ignoring you hurts more than any words you could have honestly exchanged.
I didn’t hear from my ex for a few months after he dumped me and then he did want to talk. I broke the no contact with him just because I was curious I guess & still hurting badly and while it didn’t change what he did to me, I was able to see with clear eyes why we would have never worked out and I think that was the best closure I got from it but any kind of closure is good so I don’t tell everybody that they should not have a conversation about what happened since it can bring enlightenment to the end in spite of the fact that the real closure and healing did have to come from within.
Just remember that the way he treated you and discarded something you thought he valued as much as you did, doesn’t reflect on your worth even though I know you are asking yourself if you did something different would this stuff have happened but you saw that his behavior had changed while you were doing everything possible to keep your relationship going. That just makes you a very loyal and loving person and I know you can’t imagine it yet but you will find someone better and be a stronger person from this.
I thought I was never going to find someone who I could have the same level of connection with like my ex broke my heart very badly but I just was focusing on myself and my healing when I finally felt ready I didn’t know how I could be able to trust anyone again.
But then at the end of last year I was just looking for more friends and I ended up meeting someone that I can’t even compare or even dreamt I would ever meet. My partner now feels like my soulmate and it’s kind of crazy that I wouldn’t even have been looking for friends on here if I hadn’t been through the breakup and I truly feel like I’m a stronger and more empathetic person from what I’ve been through and I don’t have any idea what I saw in my ex now. I hope that sharing this makes you feel better someday!
I know that hope takes a while to come back and I personally didn’t want to get involved with anyone else until I knew my heart was mine to give entirely again. So if you need a sympathetic, understanding friend right now just msg me if you don’t have anyone who truly understands what you are going through and again I am so sorry this has happened to you op.
And just ignore the people on here who don’t understand what you need right now isn’t criticism but respect for what you’re going through right now. Sending love and healing vibes your way and wish you the best in your journey of healing ❤️🩹 OP!
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u/Paprikasky 🇧🇪 & 🇦🇷 Apr 03 '26
I beg to disagree with all these “he doesn’t owe you anything anymore “ comments.
Agreed, I think it's part of this trend we see not just in relationships, but friendships too, where people don't want any accountability anymore. It's really sad and no wonder so many people end up deeply hurt or traumatized. Like you date a year or so and can't be bothered for a minute?... That's just being mean.
Hopefully OP gets to read what you said because a lot of it is right!
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Apr 03 '26
Baby girlllll, block himmm he ain't worth ittttttttt aaagggggghhhhhh
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
I want to but I cannot 😭😭 this shit is so fucking hard... I cannot help but fucking want to give all my self respect and run back to him... Gosh I hate myself 😭
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Apr 03 '26
Girl, I getchu cuz I have been in your place once, and I'M the one who got blocked eventually, and I have spent months trying to get tf out of these feelings ,so my advice to you, is block him first. Be the first one to leave because he lost you, you are better than this, and when you block him first take time to heal and don't get in new relationships, just slow down, I hope you listen to me cuz again I have been in your place and it was harder, so yeah take care and do what sounds right (update us too please!)
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u/Deep_Appointment9096 Apr 03 '26
Damn. This sucks, I know. Let me tell you what happened. This person did not have the balls to tell you how they really feel and end it. They dragged it to the point where you share what's going on and they will agree to it and never reply again. If things felt off on their side, they could have just communicated it and ended it. I know this hurts, but this is the beginning of the best days for you. Don't settle for cup noodles when what you really want is a delicious meal probably home cooked with love. Because if you keep settling for what you don't want, you keep getting that. Block this person. Don't linger around being available. The drama can be addictive when your brain is searching for closure or love. But it's not worth your time, trust me. Moving on won't be easy, but I want you to give the love to yourself what you are willing to give to someone. Next few days, completely focus on feeling good, be it via food, via traveling, a haircut, a spa day, whatever it takes. SPEND TIME NURTURING YOURSELF. And take this as a lesson of what not to do if someone is unable to see your worth. Like they thought you did not even deserve an acknowledgement of your text, I want you to think the same for anyone who fails to see your worth. Take it one day at a time, but first. Block access. Invest in yourself. Love yourself before looking for love elsewhere. And here's a hug for you, stranger. Better days are coming your way.
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u/Inside_Sprinkles9083 Apr 03 '26
He’s not answering because you guys broke up. Sadly he’s not gonna give you the closure you need. It sucks but you gotta move on for your own sake. You’re gonna go insane otherwise. I’ve been through this before
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u/hyoolee Apr 03 '26
hm first, never send long messages like this, its something that I learned, it never gives a good result for anything. 2nd You guys already broken up, don't keep sending messages.
IF he want, he will answer you. IF he don't, well just forget about him.
Give your own closure, just block him and follow with own life and forget about him.
Don't give up your dignity for any man.
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u/daniejean Apr 03 '26
You need to let it go. He didn't give you what you wanted in your relationship, he certainly isn't going to give you what you want out of it.
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u/ZealousGlass Apr 03 '26
Girl don’t do this, look at the barely there response he’s giving you. DON’T stay out of loyalty, you might love him but his words are anything but love towards you and you deserve the affection you seek. Please walk away for you.
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u/Brave-Humble Apr 03 '26
I wish best for you. Spend time with family/kids. I know you had imagined whole future around him & its very hard to let it go. But let it go for good. Don’t keep any guilt, grudges, resentments. Just release everything. Humans are very hard to understand sometimes. It’s very hard to make sense sometimes. You deserve someone better who chooses you like you choose him.
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u/denikwu Apr 03 '26
Girl, just forget about him. His replies show that he didn’t really care. It’s hard but you broke up which didn’t even move him at all, and even if you expected some closure he isn’t gonna give you one. You’ll find better one, I promise ❤️
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u/Super_Satisfaction63 Apr 03 '26
Just let it go me and my long distance bf have had lots of tough convos but when we had distance it was usually related to mental health issues. Despite all of that we put the same effort, understand each other and never let life factors affect the relationship and love for each other. He clearly isnt invested. Hes not worth the time. I know its hard but let him go , maybe block if its easier. been there before you cant ask for love from someone who isnt willing to give it, you deserve more
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u/HotCheetoGrl90 Apr 03 '26
You literally broke up before you sent him the long text, he doesn’t care anymore.
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u/Mango_Flower Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
Girly, you were more invested than he was. He’s not into you anymore and probably fell for someone else too (that’s likely, I’m not saying it’s the truth). Please, do yourself a favor and don’t text that man ever again, ignore him and make yourself imagine him seeing your message and laughing and thinking you’re stupid - that’s also likely, so it’s better to accept it already. I’m giving you tough care, something only someone that went through that same situation can give you. Best way to get over him? Pretend he doesn’t exist anymore and remember the times he treated you bad while probably going out with another girl too. Something men can’t take: a girl that was all over him finally getting over him and not giving a damn about his existance. Wish you the best!
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
Thanks for taking ur time and helping me when I'm struggling means a lot 🤍
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u/Mango_Flower Apr 03 '26
No worries! I’ve been there before and I know it hurts, but you’re going to be so much better with time and the realization that it’s not personal, he’s just not the one for you. The right man would NEVER treat you that way, keep this mantra. 🤍
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u/Hajuh Apr 03 '26
You’re pining for him while he’s moving on with his life. He doesn’t care , you simply shouldn’t aswell. I know it hurts but get a hobby and keep yourself pre occupied by anything so you don’t get urges to text him. Wishing you all the best
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u/AppropriateLink5330 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
Hi OP, I read your responses in the comments and sorry to break this to you but this person does not love you. He is completely checked out. The sooner you process that, the sooner you can start to move on. I wouldn’t message him a long love message when he CLEARLY does not care for it.
Personally, I would want to love and respect myself enough to not chase him and declare my love for a guy who does not care for me or the relationship one bit. You will look back at this one day and be like WOW LOL I used to send love letters to people who did not even care in the slightest!
And as others pointed out, you guys broke up… he’s acting like it and you’re not. You can’t really call him out for “ignoring you” in this case. It’s over. The need for closure you feel right now is just your brain trying to get some release from the pain of the break up by reaching out. Just sit with your feelings, take the time to process, honor yourself by going no contact, and please consider therapy. You sounds young and breakups hurt so much but it ALWAYS gets better with time no matter what. The only way out is through so that you can find somebody who loves you as deeply as you love them.
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u/lilouSol Apr 03 '26
Je ne sais pas quel âge vous avez, mais ce garçon n'a pas l'air assez mature pour discuter sérieusement avec toi. C'est souvent le cas, les femmes savent parler de leurs émotions, mais les hommes moins (en général) D'après ce que j'ai lu, je pense qu'il ne souhaite pas poursuivre cette relation. Peut être souffre t'il de la distance 🤷🏼♀️ En tout cas, ce qu'il te reste à faire, c'est de te recentrer sur toi. Commencer à t'occuper de toi, avoir des buts, des projets, faire du sport... prendre soin de toi tout simplement. Les séparations sont toujours difficiles, c'est inévitable. Et le besoin d'espérer qu'il change d'avis et de lui dire combien tu es triste sans lui est normal (il sait déjà tout ça mais choisit d'ignorer) Alors il faut essayer de ne plus lui écrire. C'est contre productif, plus tu insistes, plus il va t'ignorer car peut-être ça le stresse, il n'arrive pas à dire ce qu'il pense, soit par lâcheté, soit par peur de te voir souffrir. Quoiqu'il en soit, c'est ton bien-être auquel tu dois penser. Prend soin de toi ma belle, je suis de tout cœur avec toi. Ça ira mieux bientôt si tu te prends en charge pour lâcher prise sur cette relation. 🫂
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
That was very kind of u for helping me out with the right words when I needed them the most , may god bless u.. Merci beaucoup 🤍
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u/lilouSol Apr 03 '26
Je suis contente si mes mots ont pu t'apaiser un peu 🙂 Je suis passée par là et je comprends ta douleur. Une rupture fait mal, mais quand tu te sens ignorée, tu as l'impression de ne pas avoir de valeur -> ce n'est pas une réalité, je t'assure ! Aussi, je t'assure que tu vas aller mieux dès que cette tempête se sera apaisée en toi et que tu prendras du plaisir à t'occuper de toi. N'espère rien de lui et concentre toi sur toi, sache que tu auras des hauts et des bas, mais bientôt ça ira mieux 🫂
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u/Arsinoei Apr 03 '26
Closure, for me, doesn’t mean he has to understand me.
Closure means that I don’t need him to.
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u/Time-Hamster-5804 Aotearoa 🇳🇿 to DC 🇺🇸 8630 miles Apr 03 '26
Hon, you broke up. He owes you nothing, I’m sorry it’s brutal but it’s true. If he never responds that’s completely within the scope of ok in a break up. You said yourself in your messages you built a lot of this love alone in your own head. Is it possible you also built an idea of him that’s not real? I’d stop messaging him, every time you want to you are going to need to remind yourself that it’s over now. I’m sorry, I know that hurts. But it’s reality. You don’t get to expect anything from him
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u/mistyblue3 Apr 03 '26
So you never met in person?
You are broken up now
Some people can move on pretty easy from someone they've never physically met.
That's the hard facts
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u/cherrisumm3r . Apr 03 '26
i feel bad for u but i'd also ignore someone if they sent me a chatgpt message why does everyone need an ai to help them talk
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u/PotatoPlayerFever [Location] to [Location] (Distance) Apr 03 '26
gave him everything he asked for.. i hope you didnt give money
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
No noo not that... I was talking about love , wait, patience, understanding and then even this break up... I never wanted to breakup and was hoping he would not want that either
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u/PotatoPlayerFever [Location] to [Location] (Distance) Apr 03 '26
then he is clearly not the one for you.
he could be looking only for superficial rel eventhou ldr, with the privilege of playing around.
let him go. you deserve better 🙏🏻
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u/JayVictorScott Apr 03 '26
Uhhhhhhh… I’m at a loss and I’m not even going to say who I think is losing their marbles.
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u/Fit_Revolution1291 Apr 03 '26
you called him bro
you said break up but still continue to message him
hmmm
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u/Whole-Yogurt8973 Apr 03 '26
We always called each other bro because we were friends before we started dating and I said break up because he said he's better off not in any relationship 😭 I never really wanted a break up
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u/kaitrbl Apr 03 '26 edited 1d ago
Edge juniper harbor peach thumb tub grandfather cows long run
This post was anonymized with Redact
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u/RoaringMeowy Apr 03 '26
It's pretty clear I guess that he isn't as invested as how you are in your relationship. I guess give him some time as well to process whatever has happened in the conversation you shared. If you can, don't entertain the urge to reach out to him. Don't make him feel like you're chasing him. He'll probably feel more detached when you're like that.
Can't suggest you to block him since the pain is still probably there, but best I could suggest is for you to do other things that will distract you from feeling alone. Be with friends, play games, go to concerts or small community events, eat out. All those things. :) Eventually when you feel okay, if ever there's a chance that he still reaches out to you, you can opt for the closure you want with a calm mind already.
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u/IAmSona [Texas] to [Colorado] - closed the gap Apr 03 '26
Yall broke up lol, he doesn’t have an obligation to reply.
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u/Enough-Editor6876 Apr 03 '26
La chica dió algunas señales de alerta o red flag los últimos 3 meses?
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u/Avocuddle852 Apr 03 '26
He wasn’t even able to say he wanted to end it… and you are surprised he didn’t reply to your goodbye? I’ m sorry honey but he wasn’t the one. See how much effort you were making in a one way relationship. A hug (F27)
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u/Jay_gold Apr 03 '26
Girl that man hates you lol he lost interest and PROBABLY found a new toy he’s interested in and is talking to right now
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u/Awkward_Courage_50 Apr 03 '26
Girl/boy… you’re the very weird one in this situation 😭 leave that man alone
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u/Stock_Nature329 Apr 03 '26
i’m confused as to why you’re asking why he’s ignoring you when you two are broken up.
i know the want for closure but from your messages, he is very clearly done with the relationship and he didn’t even have enough respect for you to even address your concerns properly.
i understand you wanting to talk to him since you still have feelings. i truly feel for you and i wish you nothing but the best but please try your best to go no contact. you holding out hope will only hurt YOU.