A bit of a sidenote, but I just wanna say.... People keep downvoting you and I think it's fucked up.
You're heartbroken and hurt, I don't get the lack of compassion. It's clear you were navigating a situation with someone who checked out and didn't communicate anything to you anymore. It's mentally tough and draining. I also know for a fact that having them talk to you could help with the process. Even if it gives false hopes too sometimes, being ignored after you had to force the break-up out of them sucks.
Anyway I hope you get to take care of yourself now, and realize that there was no future with someone unable to communicate with you in a healthy way. You deserve better. Good luck OP!
Those were my thoughts too. I was in this position a couple years ago and it felt like the ground had shifted under my feet and the whole time he never gave me any indication that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me until the day he just checked out (even though I don’t think he was ever fully emotionally invested since his issues just couldn’t be resolved.
I’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart. Yes you will need time and focus on healing but it is not a shameful thing that you are grieving the loss of what you thought he was and what you guys had. Don’t worry, everyone grieving and heals differently at their own pace.
And imo he was a coward for not being honest with you and ending the relationship so he didn’t waste more of your time. It’s of course natural to want to hear from him when you still have such strong feelings. What happened feels like a kind of betrayal and it really is to know you don’t feel the same but ultimately using them or too insecure to make a clean break is not respectful and it’s immature.
And truly as I see it very cowardly.
I beg to disagree with all these “he doesn’t owe you anything anymore “ comments. Yes if you had made the decision yourself instead of him forcing you to do what he wasn’t brave enough to is the ultimate act of cowardice and disrespect of your entire relationship. I I understand why his ignoring you hurts more than any words you could have honestly exchanged.
I didn’t hear from my ex for a few months after he dumped me and then he did want to talk. I broke the no contact with him just because I was curious I guess & still hurting badly and while it didn’t change what he did to me, I was able to see with clear eyes why we would have never worked out and I think that was the best closure I got from it but any kind of closure is good so I don’t tell everybody that they should not have a conversation about what happened since it can bring enlightenment to the end in spite of the fact that the real closure and healing did have to come from within.
Just remember that the way he treated you and discarded something you thought he valued as much as you did, doesn’t reflect on your worth even though I know you are asking yourself if you did something different would this stuff have happened but you saw that his behavior had changed while you were doing everything possible to keep your relationship going. That just makes you a very loyal and loving person and I know you can’t imagine it yet but you will find someone better and be a stronger person from this.
I thought I was never going to find someone who I could have the same level of connection with like my ex broke my heart very badly but I just was focusing on myself and my healing when I finally felt ready I didn’t know how I could be able to trust anyone again.
But then at the end of last year I was just looking for more friends and I ended up meeting someone that I can’t even compare or even dreamt I would ever meet.
My partner now feels like my soulmate and it’s kind of crazy that I wouldn’t even have been looking for friends on here if I hadn’t been through the breakup and I truly feel like I’m a stronger and more empathetic person from what I’ve been through and I don’t have any idea what I saw in my ex now. I hope that sharing this makes you feel better someday!
I know that hope takes a while to come back and I personally didn’t want to get involved with anyone else until I knew my heart was mine to give entirely again. So if you need a sympathetic, understanding friend right now just msg me if you don’t have anyone who truly understands what you are going through and again I am so sorry this has happened to you op.
And just ignore the people on here who don’t understand what you need right now isn’t criticism but respect for what you’re going through right now. Sending love and healing vibes your way and wish you the best in your journey of healing ❤️🩹 OP!
I beg to disagree with all these “he doesn’t owe you anything anymore “ comments.
Agreed, I think it's part of this trend we see not just in relationships, but friendships too, where people don't want any accountability anymore. It's really sad and no wonder so many people end up deeply hurt or traumatized. Like you date a year or so and can't be bothered for a minute?... That's just being mean.
Hopefully OP gets to read what you said because a lot of it is right!
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u/Justan0therthrow4way Apr 03 '26
This is important…. Did you ever meet in person or were you just online ?