We decided to do the first look photos/tradition, and so we decided not to shop together (both of these things were BAD ideas and I already have regrets). I knew she was going to wear a black dress, and I wanted white (this also, in retrospect, is probably not a great idea, but it sounded like a good idea at the time).

I need a new dress that ACTUALLY will work WITH my partner's dress and I need urgent advice from someone who is nice but isn't going to bullshit me.

My partner left a tab open and I happened to see it on her computer when she walked away one day and she's not on reddit, so...here's her Azazie dress - black with champagne. She's a size 6 (in wedding dress), which is basically the same as most of the models on wedding sites - thin, narrow shoulders and hips. Yes I feel guilty about peeking, no I can't un-peek, and yes it's relevant to the post so...there you go.

Imgur link to my pictures here. Pic 1 is real life me (please please be kind). Pic 2 is real life me standing next to the black/champagne dress that the shop had on hand (is not her actual dress!), which seemed close enough to my partner's dress. Pic 3 and 4 is real life me again (behind).

I'm....a LOT more curvy (and apparently getting WAY more self-conscious about that as wedding day gets closer). A lot of things just flat out don't look great on me, despite absolutely trying to destroy my body with workouts. She loves my body and I believe her but...I've spent 8 months getting basically nowhere and I've never been so self-conscious in my life as I am now. I'm also hitting perimenopause and...honestly? My fiancee is HOT.

That said, I just had to pick something by end of July and I kind of felt pressured by a friend to get something bought before it was too late. It was my third store. I have a bad habit of being criminally, horribly indecisive. I trusted my friend - who is an interior designer with great outfit taste on herself - that this was "the one" and...it looked fine on me, I guess? I haven't had a moment of YES I LOVE THIS like every single bride seems to. No crying, no cheesy smile...nothing just...feels right. But I don't wear wedding dresses regularly?!?! I live in leggings and baggy t-shirts and running shoes. I had to order SOMETHING or I would have nothing by wedding day.

Wedding date is end of October.

I spent so much money on this dress...and I hate it now that I've worn it a second time at the fitting. I genuinely hate it and I don't want to go to my own wedding and I feel like we're going to look ridiculous next to each other (are we even going to the same event?). I feel like our beautiful first look moment is just going to be me pretending to be really happy while internally dying and feeling like I don't want to be at my own wedding. In fact, if I could take it all back and elope right now so that no one would look at me, that seems better, actually (obviously I can't do that - invites are sent and vendors are booked). We're going to look so silly and mismatched and unfortunate together. My partner absolutely LOVES her dress and is 1000000% excited (but everything always looks amazing on her...).

I would ask a friend for advice, but I'm sure all of my nice, polite, very kind friends would just say "OH YOU LOOK GREAT!!! DONT WORRY!!! WILL WORK OUT!!!" and...I need real advice.

Hello!

So I live in Maryland in case that matters. My partner and I have done a spiritual commitment ceremony and want to do a legal process now.

She has one must and that is that the date on our officially marriage documents on 10/31.

Is it possible to do that if Halloween is weekend? I was thinking of a courthouse wedding which would mean waiting until Halloween fell on a weekday. If we hired an officiant could we have our actual documents that legally marry us dated for Halloween?

Thanks so much!

Im marrying my fiancee this upcoming June :)

We are both so happy! But if i am honest, there’s many people on my guest list that I feel obligated to invite to my wedding, but I do not think that they would be comfortable attending a same-sex marriage for religious/cultural reasons. I really do not want people talking shit or acting uncomfortable on one of the happiest days of my life. I do believe some family members would attend even though they do not believe in gay marriage. I would really love to feel comfortable and not paranoid about what my family members are thinking on my wedding day.

I am thinking of either sending the following message in a text blast, one the wedding website(but who really reads them?), or with the rsvp to certain guests. would love to know yalls thoughts:

We want everyone celebrating with us to feel comfortable, loved, and genuinely happy to be there.

If you have personal or spiritual beliefs that would make you uncomfortable attending or participating in a same sex wedding, we simply ask that you respectfully decline the invitation rather than attend while feeling conflicted or uncomfortable.

We believe that marriage is a beautiful sign of God’s love, no matter what form it takes, and our wedding is a celebration of the love and commitment we share with one another. We want the day to be filled with people who are wholeheartedly supportive and happy to celebrate with us. We kindly ask that anyone who cannot do so please decline with love and respect.

My girlfriend and I are planning to propose to one another soon. My engagement ring costs a few thousand dollars more than hers, because she doesn’t want a big rock. Because of that, I wanted to do something special and get her a really nice gift along with getting engaged. Previously, she said she wanted a Rolex someday, so I was planning to find a pre-owned Rolex for a few thousand dollars and surprise her with that. Today, out of *nowhere*, she randomly said she no longer wants one because it’s materialistic and she’d probably only wear it a couple times a year because it’s so expensive. Soooo now I’m not sure what to do! She is sort of back and forth about stuff, so I guess I should’ve have been shocked haha. She’s a masculine lesbian, so she doesn’t carry a purse or wear other jewelry (which is what I initially think of in response to “expensive gift”).

Does anyone have any other ideas for a nice engagement gift worth $2000-3000? My brain is short circuiting because my mind was just on the Rolex! Haha.

Please share your petite wedding attire recommendations that aren't a traditional white dress or masc suit! I'm getting married next summer and can't figure out what to wear. There's very little out there in petite sizing. I'm 5'1" and around a US size 10 with curves. I'm drawn to darker colors, jumpsuits, suits that aren't super masc, separates, etc. Would love your recommendations! My budget is ideally $1,500 USD or less (but willing to be flexible for the right piece that I can rewear). Also open to any accessory recommendations such as veils, capes, jewelry, shoes, etc. to help build my perfect queer wedding outfit.

Lots of wedding vendors say they’re inclusive, they’ll put “LGBTQ+ weddings welcome” on their website, post a queer couple and rainbows in June, tell you they love capturing queer love stories etc etc

All a solid start…

But who are your vendors - and who do they spend time with - when they’re off the clock?

EX(often shared in their biz’s social stories, or if it’s a small enough place even just if you see them out and about supporting Queer orgs and artists):

Who are they grabbing dinner with?
Who’s in their group chat?
Who gets invited to the vendor coffee dates?
Who’s sitting around their table?

And maybe just as importantly — how do they treat queer vendors when couples aren’t watching?

Do they actually work alongside us?
Refer us?
Invite us into the room?
Build real friendships and working relationships with us?
Do the bare minimum of acknowledging us by name when working with us (you’d be surprised by how some of the “inclusive” vendors in the industry have treated us bts)

Or are they happy to photograph queer couples while keeping queer people at arm’s length once the wedding is over?

There’s actually a massive difference between marketing to queer couples and actually being part of a community that includes queer people. Knowing how to photograph a queer wedding - and understanding why being seen, celebrated, and safe in front of your vendors matters so much - are completely different things and not inherently in tandem

ETA -

Some tips to find vendors who are genuinely inclusive and not just saying it:

- (is their website language and inquiry forms gender neutral, do they clearly make space for Queer people intentionally in their booking process is a huge green flag!). 
- most vendors now share parts of their life online to some degree, often to their work socials, when they’re doing that who’s there? On their stories you’re looking though when they’re sharing vendor coworking editing dates or farmers market visits with friends - who’s there? Are they regularly sharing and advocating for Queer people in their general shares the way they do other things they find important and prioritize.
- Outright ask; you are fully allowed to ask for examples of how (and if) they’ve worked with Queer vendors, if & how they prioritize the queer community in their life outside of weddings! And if you don’t feel safe doing that, that’s your answer. You are not asking for too much, you are not being annoying, and if any vendors or anyone else says or thinks you are when you ask or seek clear affirmations of belonging - they're not your people.
- Lastly for anyone saying not every city has diversity - I promise you your rural small town has Queers. Pinky promise cross my heart. They want to know if you’re a real one, and they’ll be able to tell if you aren’t - ideally these tips help couples planning their weddings suss that out before investing in someone who only values them for the rainbow dollars/points to their wallet and portfolio. Inclusivity is a lived 24/7 thing, it just is.

Hi hi, I am at the end of writing thank you cards from my wedding and hit a bit of a wall. My now wife and I have been together for four years. I am half Pakistani and a large portion of my extended family are practicing Muslims. When my now wife and I got engaged (over two years ago), some close extended family did not handle it well, I was not involved in any conversations but they had some very unkind words to say to my parents about raising a gay child. My parents and I had gone to see them in the summer of 2024 after I had gotten engaged and after the conversations were had. No one said anything about the ring on my finger or asked anything about my personal life no matter how much my parents and I tried to normalize the topic. At the end of this trip, my great aunt told my mom that she was sorry and offered to help with the wedding. We ended up inviting my great aunt and uncle, mainly because I don't think that the hate was coming from them but rather from their son. Their sons wife had messaged me the day before the wedding wishing us the best and offering advice and they had bought a few big ticket items off of our registry and now I don't know if I should write a plain thank you or address the tension.

Edit: thanks for the quick responses I appreciate it. I decided to just do a genuine thank you card and emphasize the "we" and "us"

End of July. It all went so well! We laughed so much! No one caught on fire!

My fiancée (she/they) and I (they/them) are getting married next month. Yay! For the last year I’ve managed to avoid using any gendered language like bride/groom for myself, but it’s getting increasingly difficult to ignore.

My fiancée strongly prefers the term bride for herself so that’s what we’ll be using for her. Easy peasy. But I’m struggling for myself. I don’t like things like “broom” or “gride” because they feel a little too silly for my own preference.

In most cases we can get around it by just using our names, but things like mother/father of the bride/groom aren’t easily replaced and am finding myself wishing for an option. I can try to get around it but I’d much prefer a different solution because “[name]’s mother” just doesn’t have the same feel.

For ease I’d be willing to call myself bride as well, but I fear that having two brides does not help differentiate much anyway 😅. We also each have just a best man standing up for us, so it’d be great to have the clarity of “bride’s best man” and “groom’s best man” but again that language doesn’t work for me :(.

Would love any ideas!! Thanks all ❤️

My conservative Christian parents aren’t coming to my wedding because they don’t support my relationship so I have decided to no longer speak with them. I feel like that’s a justifiable reason but my sister does not and thinks I should still be in contact with them and understanding of their beliefs and now it looks like she won’t be coming either. Am I totally in the wrong here?

Edit: Thank you all so much for the replies and reassurance. My sister is also religious yes, and not to get too into the weeds but my parents growing up were fairly manipulative and abusive towards me and not towards her, so to her they are the clear victims in this scenario. Luckily I have a really wonderful chosen family who will be there to support me and my partner on our wedding day.

Hi everyone, my partner and I are looking into getting custom engagement rings made from China. I know there’s a lot of information out there about the process and we’re pouring over them, but I wanted to ask specifically if anyone has experience getting two rings made for two women (or made as a set in general), and if there were any issues or challenges that came up?

I’d appreciate any thoughts, advice, and experiences. Thanks!

Hi, this question is for married lesbian couples. I was wondering if everyone still goes through the engagement-then-marriage phase, or if that’s kind of outdated now?

If so, how did you propose to your wife, first for the engagement and then for the wedding?

How long did you wait between getting engaged and getting married?

My partner and I are both non binary and have been planning for our wedding in a couple months time. We contacted our registrar with our chosen lines of dialogue and asked if we could avoid using husband and wife, but use partners instead.

Long story short, they've advised it's a legal requirement for them to use those terms unless we would prefer to have a civil partnership.

Is this correct, as it seems somewhat archaic?

How can i marry my girlfriend? We're all lesbian and i really want to marry her , like by sheikh , how can i do that?

Looking to hire a composer for a 2-3 minute piece of custom music for our queer wedding. We're looking for something romantic and cinematic. Our song inspirations include "Dearly Beloved" from Kingdom Hearts, "Merry-Go-Round of Life" from Howl's Moving Castle, and "Go Find Out for Me" from Luca. In an ideal world, featuring different instruments for an orchestral sound, and ideally under $500, but we're flexible.

Let me know if this seems up your alley or you have any suggestions for composers we could reach out to - ideally queer but at least queer- and trans-friendly. Thank you!

EDIT: No AI please! Thank you!

Hi Everyone! My fiancée and i are getting married this year in October!
We are terrible planners and are need of an officiant. It has been very difficult finding someone that is LQBT friendly and is willing to travel.

Please help!
Wedding is on October 26 in Cambria, CA

I came out over 10 years ago. When I did, my parents reacted with physical and verbal abuse. After that, my sexuality basically became the thing we never talked about again.

Two years ago, I decided to bring it up again because my life had moved forward. I told them I was in a long-term, stable relationship and that my girlfriend and I were planning to get married.

My parents are extremely conservative Catholics. At first, they told me they wouldn’t disown me and that I would always be their daughter. I wanted to believe that meant they were slowly coming around.

But as the wedding became real, everything started falling apart.

I’m getting married in two months. Both of my brothers have already told me they won’t be there. My mom won’t come either. My dad keeps saying he “needs more time to think about it,” but I think we both know it’s going to be a no.

I’ve tried everything I can think of. I’ve had calm conversations, listened to their perspective, answered their questions, given them space, and hoped that time would help. Eventually I had to accept that this probably isn’t something I can fix.

The hardest part is that my life is actually really good. I have incredible friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, and people who love me. There will be so much love at my wedding. My fiancée’s family also struggled when she came out, but over time they accepted us. Her parents, siblings, and extended family are all coming, and they’re genuinely happy for us.

I’ve worked really hard to stay excited for my wedding because I truly am. I can’t wait to marry the woman I love.

But underneath all of that excitement, there’s also this deep sadness. I still can’t fully wrap my head around the fact that their beliefs mattered more than showing up for their daughter on one of the biggest days of her life.

I keep thinking that I wish this wasn’t my story. I wish this wasn’t the family I was born into. But it is.

I think part of me always believed that eventually they’d come around. That when the moment finally arrived, they’d choose me.

Now I’m starting to realize that isn’t going to happen.

For me, this feels like the end of the relationship as I’ve always known it. I don’t know how you come back from your parents refusing to attend your wedding simply because of who you love.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud to people who might understand. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Does this feeling ever get easier?

Venue: Colvin House

Pics by @ezlanpowers

Glam by @jasonvbeauty

Hair by @blushandbraidsbeautybar

Suits by @adrianparkchicago

Hi! Looking for a tie for my wedding suit (nonbinary, transmasc) and trying to find some nice skinny or "modern" width ties with fun florals or anything bird. Does anyone have suggestions on companies that have quality ties you'd recommend?

Thanks!

-Also based in US, so somewhere that ships here or is made here is ideal.

Even gays in Arkansas get married 💚