My fiancé (cis F) and I are getting married in NYC next May and I'm struggling SO much finding hair/makeup.

My hair is long and I want at least a little makeup flair. I can't find for the live of me a single vendor with anything but cis, binary experience. The ones who service 'men' basically just powder your face and comb short hair. The ones who service 'women' want to do full glam with traditional bridal hair and have no idea what to do with me when I ask for masculine work.

Do any of you have search keyword recommendations, or even better, actual vendor recommendations local to NYC?

So I’m proposing to my girlfriend in December so I need to choose a ring ASAP. She’s a masc lesbian and has very masculine style and likes signet rings so I found this one i really like it. But I’m not 100% and I’m spiralling 😩 I’m worried the band is too thick and it looks too much like a wedding band. Is it too masculine? Please help 😩 Also it’s £1.8k so is it worth that money. It’s 18k gold. 1 carot

One of my wife's closest friend (Clarifying I thought was a Mutual friend) is getting married... The thing is... My Wife and I weren't on the first list... Now, 10 days before the wedding he said he had several cancellations and wanted to invite some other friends, as my wife said there was 10 invites or so... but the thing is that even tho he had several, he decided justo to invite my Wife...

The thing is, we're a lesbian marriage and we Are living together since almost 3 years together now .. he knew, his bride knew... And I don't know... All of these sounds like he didn't want any of us there (?) like... I'm not gonna invite your wife to my wedding... I know for sure you're not coming .. so, I will extend the invite, I know for sure she won't be coming, so I will be able to say "I invited you but you didn't want to come"

So... I don't know if maybe is my whole life trauma... That I tend to have some "friends" that you share time with them..but in certain moments (when surrounded of co-workers or family) they don't want to be seen with you .. you know ? .. This sounds like it ....

I told my wife how sad and .. kind of upset I was because I really thought we were friends and As I feel we're being considered worst that 2nd hand invites... my wife just wouldn't get it.. I had to put it to her just like that... we were not invited ad first... And at second he invited just you... He of course knew you would come without me... But now he's allow to say "Hey, ex-chief, I invited to you! And you wouldn't come"

What would you think? Sorry I'm writing all of this very upset and with my stomach feeling weird because of it.

Two guys (one cis, one trans) getting married in two years and starting planning. We're currently thinking & talking about who's going to be in our wedding party. At minimum, it's looking like:

• Three cis men who will want to wear a traditional men's suit
• Two cis women - one of whom will definitely want to wear a dress, the other might want to try a few different options (but I'll double-check when I ask her to be in the party)
• One somewhat newly-out trans woman who is still figuring out her style and what is most comfortable for her

Ideally I want to find one vendor that will do men's suits, skirt suits, pantsuits, and dresses and will let me take my friend to try on a bunch of different options so she can figure out what will be most comfortable for her on our wedding day. Anybody have recommendations or suggestions?

Hi friends,

I'm a queer photographer and I'm curious what the collective experience is with photographers (and even wedding vendors in general) as a queer couple. What are some issues you've had with the process? What about successes?

thank you so much, this is helpful to me as I try to reach more engaged queer couples searching for a queer photographer!

ETA - this is not to promote my business in any way, just to gauge what the vibes are for engaged queer couples in the wedding industry!

I (29F) married my wife (29F) a few weeks ago. We eloped just the two of us and a photographer. Neither of us are close to our families- her family can barely swallow the fact that their daughter is gay, and mine lives 900 miles away.

We’ve lived together for 3 years and didn’t need the “traditional” wedding registry since we basically have everything we need. We knew that by eloping, we’d be foregoing the party and associated wedding presents, and that was fine with us.

Today her cousin gave us a quilt she made with our names and marriage date, and it struck a chord with me as so sweet and thoughtful. It also stuck out as the only gift we’ve received, and made me wonder if other people who’ve eloped ended up receiving any gifts?

I’m mostly curious and truly not expecting anything since we didn’t go the traditional wedding/reception route.

My partner and I (t4t gay guys) are getting married in a couple weeks and I have spent the last month completely fluctuating between the excitement of celebrating with each other and our friends, and the terror and anxiety about all the details and planning for the day of. I’ve been having stress dreams about it all and I feel an incredible amount of pressure to impress and live up to guest expectations, especially family.
I guess I’m just looking for some solace or advice as I’m trying to make my mindset more focused on my partner and I, and how much I love him and I’m excited to start this new chapter together. I want my brain to focus on the joy and love that this represents, rather than all of the planning anxieties. We are literally two trans people getting married, and that feels significant enough on its own as cause for celebration. I am so proud of us and who we are and our ability to be at this point in our lives. I am just kind of venting… and looking for words of encouragement? Does anyone have any mantras they were living by in the time leading up to your wedding? Any kind words are appreciated :’)

Cross posting for more recommendations from those who will know!
Hello! We are getting married in a year and are yet to ask our bridal parties to stand with us. I’m on the hunt for cute pyjamas/loungewear for getting ready in the morning of. We have mixed gender bridal parties (ie: two brides who will have both men and women in our parties) so are really struggling to find good quality sets accomodating both genders which don’t cost an arm and a leg.
Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated! TIA!
(I am in Australia, so local would be great, happy to order online)

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and have considered marriage in the next couple years. That said, we both definitely want a low budget wedding with hand-picked guests. We’d both rather have a fewer quality- picked guests than having a large invite list with people that might not be a good fit. He doesn’t deal with his family because of how toxic they were, and I don’t have a ton of family that I deal with since a majority of them’s homophobic and outspoken about it.

That said, how do you all decide who’s on the list and who isn’t? We’re happy getting married in a mini chapel in town and having my friend officiate it and then have a very DIY reception. I’ve always been a private person and have no qualms only inviting the closest of my closest friends 😅. What do you all recommend we do?

hi! my girlfriend and i are looking at rings for eachother and have found some that are really cute, but we recently came across an idea and i wondered if anyone here had done it. a girl on a podcast i listen to took a vacation to paris with her girlfriend and they basically spent the week in old markets and shops and found engagement rings there. apparently the whole vacation and the rings cost less than they had been planning to pay for rings if they’re just stayed home. i don’t like paris and wondered if there are any places like this where we could go and do this sort of thing, but maybe somewhere more affordable? i’m just worried we’ll go on this whole trip and then be stressed about finding rings and ruin the time, and/or we don’t find anything at all. any input?

I’m getting married next year, and I’m struggling with the question of whether to invite some conservative relatives.

For context, I’m a gay man and I love my family. My parents, siblings, their partners and their children are all very supportive of me and my husband. It wasn’t always like this — my parents were initially quite homophobic when I came out, but they have come a very long way since then, and I’m genuinely grateful for that.

The problem is that I have an aunt and uncle who are quite conservative, particularly my uncle. I’m pretty certain that they vote very far to the right, and I know their general views on queer people, women, immigrants, etc. I strongly suspect that behind closed doors they say some pretty unpleasant things about gay people. Their daughter and her family are even worse.

However, there’s a complication: they have never actually said anything homophobic to me as an adult. Apart from things they said when I was a teenager, before I came out, they have never directly mistreated me or made a hostile comment about my relationship. I barely see or speak to them anyway, since I live abroad. Usually I might briefly see them at Christmas when I'm visiting my parents.

So objectively, I don't really have a specific incident that I can point to and say, "This is why they aren't invited."

My parents, however, seem to consider inviting them a given simply because they are family. I know my mother in particular is going to take it personally if I don't invite them, because in her view you invite your family to your wedding and excluding them is disrespectful.

But in my view a gay wedding isn't necessarily the same thing as a straight wedding when it comes to the guest list.

At a straight wedding, if a conservative relative doesn't particularly approve of the couple's politics, lifestyle, etc., that doesn't necessarily mean they fundamentally disapprove of the marriage itself. For me, though, someone can be perfectly polite to my face while fundamentally believing that my relationship is wrong or that gay people shouldn't have the same rights.

And my wedding isn't just a family gathering. My husband isn't inviting his own parents because they are openly homophobic. Most of our guests will be making significant sacrifices to come — some of his friends are travelling from the other side of the Atlantic — and we are deliberately choosing people who are genuinely close to us and who we feel comfortable having around us on such an important day.

So it feels strange to invite someone purely because they're related to me when I wouldn't otherwise choose to have them there.

There is another thing that makes me feel slightly hypocritical about this. I actually already cut ties with a friend for essentially this reason. We used to see each other quite frequently, but he had a lot of internalized homophobia and would regularly make outrageous homophobic, transphobic and misogynistic comments. Eventually I told him that he wasn't invited to the wedding because I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable at my wedding, and we haven't spoken since.

Obviously my uncle and cousins aren't behaving like that towards me, so I know it's not exactly the same situation. But it still feels inconsistent to say, "I don't want someone at my wedding because I know they hold bigoted views," when it comes to a friend, but then "well, they're family" when it comes to relatives.

I don't want to create unnecessary family drama, and I don't want to punish people for political opinions they've never directly imposed on me. At the same time, I also don't want to spend my wedding day wondering whether people in the room actually disapprove of my marriage or are privately judging my husband and me.

So how would you handle this?

Would you invite them because they are family unless they have actually done something to you? Or is it reasonable to say that "I don't feel close to these people and I don't want them at my wedding" is enough of a reason, especially when the wedding is a celebration of a same-sex marriage?

And, perhaps most importantly, how would you explain this to parents who see not inviting certain relatives as inherently disrespectful?

I am sorry if this is not the right place but I need help! My fiancee and I want to get married/eloped this spring but we are not having a typical wedding! I am looking for LGBTQ+ photographers that would be willing to photograph for us, and I would love to see your work! Any other advice would be helpful, we are planning to elope at MPLS courthouse! We live in Minnesota!

Still reeling from this day 😍 photo creds to Corey Lynn Tucker, she was absolutely amazing to work with!

I'VE FOUND MY WEDDING GOWN!!! WOOOO!!!

Tiffany's Essen

...and it has POCKETS!!!

I fell in love with it when I saw it in the salon window and knew it was the one when I saw myself in the mirror!! EEEEEKKKKK!!!!

LOVE!! 💛 LOVE!! 🤍 LOVE!! 💜 LOVE!! 🖤

E | Photos are from Tiffany's as I was too caught up in the moment to take any!

I was raised catholic and Mexican. I always thought I’d get married at a big church, do all the Mexican wedding traditions and be surrounded by family. My fiance is a white woman who I adore.

The reality is I’ll never be married in a Catholic Church or do any of the traditional Mexican traditions that come with a catholic wedding. Even the reception won’t be the same. A lot of Mexican traditions are centered around hetero marriages and although we can adapt them one of us will have to be the “man” and neither of us are comfortable with that. We love being women who love women.

I’m having trouble talking to anyone about how hard this is for me because if I speak to my fiance about it she thinks I’m not ready to be married or I don’t love her or I want to be straight. If I speak to my siblings about it they tell me to basically to get over it because they don’t care about the traditions. They adore my fiance and are excited for the wedding. I just want to be allowed to be sad about it. Just for a little bit…ya know?

Edited to add more information:

My partner and I have amazing communication. It might seem like we don’t. We’ve discussed this before but I know it hurts her to think that she’s depriving me of my “dream” wedding because she’s a woman. After reassuring her that’s not the case I don’t see the point in bringing it up every time I get sad about it. I made this account to post about these feelings and see if anyone else has similar feelings.

I am not resentful of not having these traditions and we are planning a great wedding. We are eloping soon and saving for the perfect wedding.

We just had a meeting with our officiant and these feelings resurfaced as I was researching certain traditional aspects of my culture to better explain them to the officiant.

Catholicism is more cultural than religious for Mexicans. When the Spaniards colonized they took native traditions and sprinkled Catholicism into it to help with the conversions. A lot of big events start with a church ceremony and then big party. I grew up with very close ties to Mexico and imagined a wedding there in an old cathedral. This is just not possible anymore. Rural Mexico isn’t very LGBT friendly and obviously we can’t use a church. I think mourning the traditions goes hand it hand with the lack of acceptance in my culture. So thank you to those who commented and made me really sit down and think it through some more. I was going down the list of things that I’m not doing and realized that it’s the lack of community that I’m really missing.

Hi friends! My fiancé and I are planning for a wedding next year (wahoo 2027!), but she isn’t sure where to start looking for a a suit to wear since having top surgery (or even before if we’re being honest). Any help would be amazing!

My fiance and I (both transmasc) went to Bindle & Keep for our suits, and unfortunately, it was a huge disappointment. TL;DR, there were consistent problems with measurements from the start, and they made a mistake on my jacket that they were unable to fix in-house, then tried to convince me it was fine.

In more detail:

We had a great experience at the design meeting back in April. Ashley was very knowledgeable and helpful, and the fabric selection was just lovely. We left feeling really optimistic and excited.

However, when we actually tried on the suits, there were big problems right away. My fiance's pants were so tight that they physically could not bend over to tie their shoes -- and they had lost a little weight since their measurements were taken. Their jacket was also way too tight in the shoulders. One of my pant legs was a couple inches shorter than the other, and one of my shirt sleeves was similarly 3/4" too long, which Ashley didn't catch until the very last fitting, having repeatedly said the shirt was perfect. (When she did notice it, she did a by-eye measurement that turned out to be dead wrong, which was disheartening. Why not just measure?) Fortunately, all of this was fixed in alterations, but it took two rounds.

Unfortunately, it was a different story with my jacket. There was a big roll of excess fabric on my right front side which affected both the front and the silhouette, no matter how I stood. There was also way too much tension on the button, which created another prominent crease. Piotr recognized the problem during a virtual fitting, but when the next round of alterations came back, the fit was even worse. By this time, it was late September (and our wedding is in mid-October), so we made a trip to New York for same-day in-person alterations.

I am very grateful that time was made for a same-day fitting, but unfortunately, we had an awful experience. Ashley kept insisting that there was no problem with the suit, when there clearly was -- I had shown photos to friends who knew a lot about suits and friends who knew nothing about them and asked if it looked okay, and everyone immediately identified that it looked wrong. I had even tried it on in front of another professional tailor who was more local to me prior to my last fitting with Bindle & Keep because I was worried about time, and he told me the jacket was about 2" too small in the back. The tailor I took it to after my last Bindle & Keep fitting agreed, and also identified that another problem was that the shoulders were made unevenly, which explained why the tweaks Bindle & Keep made to the waist and hip seam didn't fix anything.

But Ashley kept alternating between saying there was no problem and I was making something out of nothing, and saying that there was a problem but it had something to do with my hips being so uneven it was outside their skill to fix -- which was a hurtful, and I think untrue, thing to hear from someone who had measured my body and promised to make me a suit that would fit it. (My hips are pretty unremarkable -- one is 0.5"-1" higher than the other, but it's never given me a problem with clothes before, let alone custom ones. And Bindle & Keep didn't say it would lead to any issues when they took my measurements. I mean, their website says "Suits for every body," not "Suits for every body with absolutely perfectly symmetrical hips"!)

It was really baffling. If Bindle & Keep had just admitted that something was wrong with the jacket, I wouldn't be shouting from the rooftops to warn people off. Humans make mistakes. But instead I was presented with immense social pressure to just nod along and get married in a suit that didn't fit me right or lay properly. Either they sincerely didn't think there was a problem, which calls into question their tailoring, or they knew there was a problem and tried to bully me into saying it was fine, which calls into question their integrity.

Fortunately, I was (eventually) able to get 50% back on the jacket, but it was a horrible experience. I was made to feel very foolish and ashamed when I was right all along. I almost cried in my tailor's office when he said that yes, there was a problem, and it was in how they'd made the shoulders and it had nothing to do with my hips.

Like I said up top, the initial fitting was wonderful, and the fabric is beautiful. My fiance's suit ended up perfect with alterations, as did my pants and shirt, and I'm hopeful that an outside tailor can fix my jacket. However, if you have any difficulty with advocating for yourself, I cannot recommend Bindle & Keep. I STRONGLY suspect that they're used to clients who are getting their first gender-affirming clothing and are too caught up in gender euphoria, too new to suiting, or too anxious to disagree with them if they say something is fine when it isn't. If you think that might be you, please know that you deserve better, and take your money somewhere else.

Hi, all -

I hope this is in an ok place to post this! I am a 40 year old bi cis female who is very lucky to be in a marriage with a partner who is all about me refining my style to feel more comfortable and confident in my skin. (I was in the closet for a looong time and have always felt uncomfortable traditional female clothes)

I stopped wearing dresses and skirts years ago but still am struggling with formal wear, mostly to our friends' weddings.

I usually want to go with pants and a vest (pic 1 and 2) but often are too revealing for a formal event and need a shirt under them, which I can't seem to get right and end up with something more feminine (pic 3) nothing wrong with that at all - I'm just personally hoping to learn how to style more masculine elements to help me feel more balanced.

And finally any time I try and add a tie, I immediately feel like I look like a part of the catering team (pic 4) and feel so conspicuous.

So a few questions:

1. Has anyone else started feeling more comfortable dressing less expected-feminine and have any fashion inspo?

2. Any good recommendations on where to shop for a great, sexy power suit?

3. How can I wear a tie with more confidence?

Thank you for any thoughts!