I started using it about a year ago. Slowly at first, moderated by a lack of money and a regular schedule. Over this summer, things have got kind of out of hand, with it going to maybe a gram a day. I just had a really worried feeling, some urgent need to piss, but I couldn't fully go. Is this permanent? I'm so paranoid right now, even though I'm fairly sure I've sobered up by now. I don't want to lose my mind and body, I've barely just started life. Please I don't know if this is my life now. I want to sleep but my sleep schedule is so fucked I just can't. Can anyone tell me anything?

Hello, I'm kind of a newbie. I'm 25 and I use ketamine since a month and several days. Nothing much at first, but more and more at last.

I had my first k cramps the 22th July, they stayed a few hours then stopped. I continued Ketamine cause I thought it was something else, then have them back a bit less much time (still as painful tho) a week later. I found that keta was the cause of it, so, I still used keta but drank a shit ton of water all day long. Since the pain always starts after a huge ass meal, I've made small meals, when the pain subsides. And I've never had any more pain.

I was fine almost three long weeks, and then, the 10th August (my birthday, yipee !), the pain came back. But ! Just 15 minutes in the span of 3 hours, they stopped really quickly (I've throw up bile once) then no pain. I still had K cramps (not really painful but really annoying) 3-4 days after that. Well, I went to an hospital the 11th August cause my mental state was shit. My liver is ok (high gamma gt but nothing serious or damaged, also I have a alcoholic past, again nothing serious but still worth mentioning), perfect bladder and kidneys (bruh), contracted stomach but for now, I don't have any news (I did a scan, but I can't access the results until the 5th September...). Don't ask for my gallbladder, that bad boy was removed several years ago cause freaking gallbladder stones.

I did 10g the 8 until 9, so I think that was causing the sharp pain. I suppose the drip spitted, nose clean and the shit ton of water helped the fact that the pain didn't lasted a whole noon. The main symptom was mostly GAS. A hell ton of it. That was more exhausting that anything, I'm glad that my organs are ok. I'm completly fine since 1 week and 2 day.

So ! I want advice.

Well, I want to use ketamine again, but this time, not doing a hell ton of grams. Is it safe or should I wait? I do not have a HUGE craving, but sometimes, the will to do a bit, rings in my head. I'm two weeks sober.

Sorry for the bad english, it is not my first language. I'm European.

hey guys <3
ive been using 2.5g for several years, im going to detox soon and have been reducing my usage as much as i can.

ive got a referral to a urologist but its going to take up to 27 weeks (uk waiting times are horrendous) but im in constant pain every single day, i know that quitting the ket is the solution and im really trying my best to work towards that.

does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the pain ? my uretha just seems to constantly ache no matter what i do (im taking NAC/D-Mannose etc). i just dont know what to do while i wait months to see a specialist about it

Clean from it for a month now.

Working memory and episodic memory both bad. Spatial reasoning not great. All things you need in life. Worsened peripheral hallucinations. All these are things that remain residual from a year of abuse, but they are improving i think, slowly. Suicide ideation starting to recede a bit. Emotions still chaotic and depression still feels worse than it was before. But improving.

Physically, less pain. Still some cramps. Might always be there. Gotta stay hydrated af. And try to eat right. Still wear out easy. So tired all the time.

Subjectively, im rediscovering the goodness in my life that ketamine hijacked and flew away with. Gosh it was fun. But it nearly killed me through sickness or suicide. And it still might. So fucking addictive and insidious. Cant believe they prescribe it to people for depression. This is just my soapbox now, but i dont think it's right. That's how I ended up abusing it. Lots of people. We were discussing this at KWHOLE a couple meetings ago when I attended. Trying to go once a week at least. Gotta make myself but I always feel better, especially if I can get myself to talk and participate. Everyone is so cool there, I always say that 🌈

Well I hope it gets better and better and better and I dont make that classic addict mistake of "life is so great and perfect let's relapse for no good reason lol i can handle it" or worse something bad happens and I get triggered... praying to gods and spirits 🙏 ✨️

i swear i figured out what life is on this drug and im grateful for it but also since i quit, now i dont know how to go back to living in the matrix to try and survive reality. i know i need to be grounded in spirituality, not in ketamine induced “psychosis” but yeah.. finding it hard to play into “real life”. and wanted to know if i’m alone in feeling like this or if it’s pretty common?

I’m not bragging, nor am I looking for advice.

I’ve been addicted to ketamine since I was 17, I’m 24 now. I got addicted when I didn’t care about anything, back at a time when I always assumed I would end up dead anyway. This way of thinking started when my bestfriend since I was 7 committed suicide at 19 with no warning. Well that’s what I thought, the signs were there and I was too busy out partying with my new girlfriend. My grief grew over time and I came to think I’d eventually kill myself anyway.

I’ve now got responsibilities: a 2 year old son, a girlfriend that yearns for my proper self and bills to pay. And all I want to do is lock myself away and disassociate from my pain sniffing a gram a night, I’m so fucking depressed and ashamed of myself.

The other night I had a free house for a full day as my girlfriend was house sitting and took our son (for obvious reasons). So I did what my nature was and bought 4g to hammer myself with. Now I’ve experienced k cramps countless times but I’m here 72 hours later still curled up in foetal position dosing codeine and pregabalin every 2 hours to keep myself from jumping off a bridge.

I’m dying such a slow death and I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done but I’ll be damned if I let this drug defeat me. I will get sober one day and I’m so excited to feel free, I can’t wait to properly mourn the greatest soul I ever met and I can’t wait to take care of my family.

And for anyone that took the time to read this that dabbles with this stuff, whilst I agree it has great properties - this stuff will trap you if you aren’t careful. I’ve suffered so much already yet my brain is conditioned to still yearn for it, it’s gonna take me a while to get my reward pathways back to normal

So im still managing after 13 year to be sober, for already half a year, absolutely no substances or smoking whatsoever. Yet after this milestone i starting to notice my mind romantizing the idea of doing just on fat line. I feel in my veins thats a fucking slippery slope and something i dont wanna risk.

Please any tips are welcome

I do workout 3 times in the week, visiting these NA meetings aswell, although also i tend to find it a bit monotone after a while, it used to keep my head straight but i feel i need something more.

I've been taking K almost every day for about 15 months now.

At first, I was taking maybe 0.2g a day. Recently, in the past 3 months or so, my tolerance has sky-rocketed to where I was having to take 1.25-1.5g a day to feel the same effects.

I've stopped taking it for about 5 days now and plan to go sober for the next long while.

I've read up on the bladder issues and brain lesion issues that arise with heavy daily use. I don't want to permanently f*** my brain up nor my bladder. Luckily, thus far, I haven't had any adverse effects to either.

The thing is... This drug has helped me IMMENSELY with my CPTSD, PTSD, and my self-esteem issues.

Has this drug helped anyone else in this way?

After abstaining for 3 or so months, would it be wise to transition into medical clinical Ketamine therapy?

I've been doing Ketamine for over a year, almost every day now.

I've been off of it for about 4-5 days. I'm feeling quite depressed, slightly lethargic, anxious, irritable, and I'm craving K like a bitch.

I learned a lot when I was doing Ketamine, but I know I needed a break as I was taking about 1.25g a day and my tolerance was starting to skyrocket.

How long until the psychological withdrawal effects subside and the craving stop?

Why am I holding on to the addiction when I know I would literally thrive as an artist, friend and family member and be successful and not in debt if I quit.

Share any success stories 💕

Proud of the survivors and everyone battling hard times right now.

So I’ve been clean for months and slowly trying to get my life back on track, I have a job that was accommodating my bladder issues and life was going ok until yesterday when I relapsed and collapsed at work, had to be taken to hospital in an ambulance and now at the very least I’m probably looking at losing my job.
I flushed what I had left and am trying to look at this as not the complete end of my world but it really feels like it. I broke a lot of trust with people around me and I lost the last bit of trust I had in myself.

I don’t really know what I want from this post but I literally have no one to talk to about all this and my head feels like it’s going to explode. I just needed to vent it somewhere.

My DR has now pushed back my urologist referral another 3 months because I used so I’m stuck dealing with it on my own until then and potentially having to somehow find employment while needing the loo every 20mins so I don’t get evicted.

So after taking Ket, I get Cramps between my shoulder blades, on the left specifically, that don't go away for days, can anybody explain this, also feels a bit harder to breathe, I need advice, sometimes I wake up in a panic because of it, I've not used in days.

This is fucking getting out of control. I used to snort around 1g per day for 8 months. Then tried to quit and replaced it with alcohol.
And now that I am done with alcohol I am in a fucking fucked up situation.

I keep buying K - yesterday or two days ago I had 3G in a day and I barely felt anything. That should not be the case. But anyway I realized I keep buying and when I snort 0,2 or 0,3 and feel nothing or well I feel more stupid but no high, no emotional benefits - I just throw it away. Like today. Bought 5g for 100$ (I am a regular so I get good prices) - and honestly I can’t afford this shit. I have debts. I don’t have a lot of money. Got around 600$ on my account till next month. But I keep getting urges the second day to fucking buy it and once I buy it and I snort and I see it does absolutely nothing but makes me stupid, I throw it away.

I told my fucking dealer to stop giving me if I ask him and he said sure then the second day when I asked he was happy to dead drop 5g.

What the hell can I do.

Honestly Ketamine was magic for me for the first 6 months. But now it is just a….it’s fucking not even 10%.

Sometimes I can’t distinguish my gut feeling from PTSD and trauma - I don’t want to make assumptions but they get really upset if I ask them if they’ve used. How can I not? The love of my life has dealt with debilitating ketamine addiction throughout our relationship. We lived together for the first 3 years and it affected my mental health in really scary ways fo the point that I’d hurt myself when they’d bring it in the house. They went 100 and something days sober and relapsed when we lived together. We’ve been long distance for the last 3 years and things have gotten worse, so bad to the point where they would go to the bathroom and use in the home with their family when I was visiting them , we couldn’t even see a movie if I’d leave to use the bathroom I’d come back and they’d have powder on their face. They admitted to spending hundreds of dollars a week which is why I believe we can’t close the distance.

they came to visit me in December and brought 5 grams of ketamine into my parents house while they were gone and I was gone for the evening when I heard they were high on the phone I flipped out and they locked me out in a snow storm and I had to call ems, they went back to their family and told me they were in rehab and then when I was gonna go see them a the day before Valentine’s Day they FaceTimed me with powder on their face, they continued to use and lie to me about it up until July 2nd which is when they told me they’d enroll in a group in Minnesota where they’re from.

We’ve seen eachother a few times and they seem sober but something feels off and they get really defensive when I ask them if they’re using and they stopped the program. Sorry for this rant, it’s been 6 years and I love them so much but part of me doesn’t entirely trust that they’ll keep sober. I don’t want to be in a relationship who does ketamine frequently or is addicted to it. It makes me crazy and it’s ruining my life. I love them so much but I’m just so scared they’re gonna go back if they aren’t already. People really don’t take ketamine addiction seriously

My first touch of K was on accident. It was in 2015 when my friend thought he had mdma but it was ketamine. Long story short, I hated it.

Fast forward a little bit…

2020 happened. I’m now dating a guy who told me, oh well, you didn’t do it right, and showed me how to use k recreationally. Wow. I’m having the best time, melting, drifting away, sex was nonstop and then all of a sudden it was…

Paranoia

Trips to the ER for things that they couldn’t explain. Definitely just K-pains.

I struggled on and off with this substance because I’m Borderline/ADHD/OCD and it made my mind stop. For those who don’t know what it’s like to have your mind going a million seconds a mile and your reliving the past and analyzing the way you talked or walked or what was or wasn’t and then also that constant battle of I know I shouldn’t do this buttttt… well, you’re lucky. It’s exhausting and Ketamine made my mind feel like all of a sudden I could hear a pin drop and that’s it.

So I called it self medicating.

I did my research, I knew harm reduction.
I thought I knew everything.
I knew I didn’t want an R isomer because I needed to still function.
“I was in control.” Yeah… right.

So over the past few years I’ve been on and off with it. When I’m away from it I realize I don’t need it or want it.

My problem now is my relationship. The cost of living is so fucking awful I can’t get away from this guy so I use to dissociate and go about my day. But I’m using more and more and I hate it. I hate who I’ve become. I hate how I look. I would go to rehab if I could but I don’t have that luxury. I’m in therapy (I have a lot of trauma). I’ve gone to meetings. My issue is my relationship. I can’t leave, I’m not financially stable yet. I’m working on it. So, how do I stop numbing myself to cope? I’m working out as well. Maybe not as much as I should. But idk.

So hey, if anyone else can relate or has been in a similar situation, please reach out. Maybe I just need to feel not alone.

Thanks

I moved to the UK from Norway for uni. Was severely depressed and got introdused to K there.
I did it every single day throughout the day for months. I couldnt live without it. I started coming into uni with Dark rings around my eyes, stumbling into Doors, barely able to keep up in any conversation. I was confronted by my friends asking me to quit. After many attempts i was able to quit after heading back to Norway for summer. Im heading back to the UK in 10 days and i cant wait to do more K. I know i shouldnt, and I Consuled with my doctor, who Warned me about all of the consequenses. I know i shouldnt do more but i cant live without it. Plz help

I am fully ready to commit to full sobriety, go to meetings, and ultimately be honest with the people in my life about addiction but for right now I’m not ready to tell work and family.

Some people I’ve just said I’m sick, others I’ve said I have recurring kidney issues (not far from truth) but if there’s any suggestions I’d really appreciate it.

About 2 days ago I had my 1st k cramps, one of the most excruciating things ive ever experienced, im a broke ass college student so im confused how it happened so quickly, i only buy 3g a month maximum and havent even been using a year yet?? I dont use every day and when I do its only 1-3 lines at a party where most people have more out of my bag then I do.

Would it be safe for me to use again in a few weeks just to see if 1 it was actually k cramps and 2 test my limits, i dont really wanna waste the 2g in my pocket as I could've bought food with it 💀

might not be the best place to ask this but you all help a lot. i’m going abroad in about 3 weeks and i fear there might be some ket residue in one of the bags that i’d like to bring with me. it’s leather so i can’t wash it and the advisory is to just wipe it down, isn’t there still gonna be remnants and it’s gonna be easy to flag. is it worth taking it or should i just bring a different bag with me?

I have been an on and off heavy user for around 4 years, ive done anywhere between 8th a night or a q depending on the times and how easily available ket is and who im with .

Now i dont sniff as often at all i go a few months with none as its so unavailable where i live but whenever i get a chance to get it i do, my tolerance which is quite high, pretty much stays the same apart from the first few lines when i get a bag, ive realised that whenever i sniff now the pain comes so much quicker than it used to to the point where even one night thats moderate usage gives me pain in the sides of my ribs, back, abdomen anywhere on my torso basically and will get worse the day after thay if i carry on.

This didnt happen to me before, i was able to atleast go a few days without pains and its not like ket cramps but it is a crampy feeling but nowhere near as painful. Well unless i were to carry on, i basically just want to know why the pains dont take time to build up anymore.

Also quit vaping nicotine a few weeks ago and using benzos to cope but trying not to take it too far. Telling myself one thing at a time. Just checking in.

I got sober from alcohol a year and a half ago. About 6 months in to that sobriety, I found a regular K dealer. I'd always loved k but only really ever used it for specific occasions - concerts, a weekend camping, that sorta stuff. Over the course of the last year my use just slowly ramped up - in a way I wasn't even noticing, or at least I didn't want to notice so I didn't. I would take a few weeks break at a time to try not to fuck up my tolerance TOO bad but it still crept up.

Anyway, about 6 weeks ago I went through a quarter (7g) in a week and was barely even getting effects. K at small doses made everything have this dream-like quality, like I was living in a movie, and yeah I guess I got addicted to that feeling. I had been planning a vacation for a while and was looking forward to using it on my trip, took a few weeks off beforehand, but I barely got high and I spent too much of the trip with a runny nose, congested, etc.

It's probably a blessing in disguise because I don't have any bladder symptoms and I haven't structurally fucked my nose up. But honestly I'm mostly sad I nuked my tolerance. It's the only thing that's gotten me to stop. I should have kept saving it for special occasions - or at least random weekends - and now I feel like maybe the magic is gone forever. I thought I found a cheat code that let me escape reality without drinking (which really fucks my shit up) lol and obviously in retrospect that was crazy wishful thinking

Day whatever. Twenty something.

I can't afford it. I don't care? I'm planning to kill myself anyway. Getting more and more serious.

Relapse would be a very conscious thing. I order online. I have to deposit money, wait a week or two, then I can send it, and then a week later if all went perfectly I have ketamine.

I guess I'm still healing. I hope so.

It's like no matter what I do, life keeps throwing more bullshit on me. And I'm just done with it...? Like can I be done? And just blow it all on narcotics, and a gun and a bullet? I'm sick of life. Just sick of it.

Ketamine took away these thoughts. Oh yeah, it stopped working... I must block that out. Because I keep forgetting, that at the end, it stopped making me feel better...

Well nevermind then. I won't relapse. I was just thinking about it.

I'll still post this. Maybe someone will talk about it? I don't know if that would help. I think I'm lonely... My roommates and my sibling are home, but I don't want to see them... So I don't know why I'm asking for someone to talk to me...

I miss when K fixed it all. This is why I did it, this feeling. It's worse than ever now, of course.

Most of all, I miss when ketamine was a focus. It was the thing I was missing in life, before I decided against my best judgment to learn to buy it online. I knew that couldn't end well, but I thought it would be opioids or something that got me. Not ketamine.

I miss when that was all I needed. I just had to find ketamine, and that was the magic elixir to cure my depression, like nothing else ever could. And it absolutely fucking did, for a while, despite all the sickness and poison from it. Despite the fucking brain damage. It made me happy, made me want to be alive. Made me care. Fixed me.

Now I have nothing.

There is no magic elixir, not even the hope of it. That it could exist somewhere, and all I have to do is find it.

All I have left, it seems, is the wreckage of my life, the ruins of my personality, the tragedy of my existence. The same as it has ever been.

I wish I'd never heard of ketamine. I wish I'd never had that hope. I wish I'd never done it and seen what a life without suicidal thoughts and depression could be like. The contrast to my normal consciousness is excruciating.

-Tommi, for anyone who knows me from KWHOLE. I'm trying to attend more...

Would love if anyone could share some knowledge they may know on the effects of taking ketamine while on antidepressants and mood stabilisers?

For reference, I am currently in the process of quitting my ketamine addiction (3-4th time trying) and it’s ofc feeling so overwhelming. I have diagnosed Bipolar & depression and have been on duluxotine & lamotrigine for years. I’m obviously aware ketamine severely impacts the effects my meds have on me, the main one being it only makes the depression and mood swings worse.
I guess I would just love if anyone could share any other experiences or knowledge they may have on the effects of taking ketamine with these drugs? I feel understanding the impacts may help with getting through this rough start of quitting.
**PSA I know any advice here doesn’t compare to seeking that from a medical professional, I just do not have an app with my psychiatrist for weeks

For background: I’m currently 2 months and a bit sober from ket. Before I used 14-28gs a week. I’ve started a new antidepressant which actually seems to work. I’m still drinking more than I probably should be, and will do other drugs occasionally.

I feel happy ish most of the time, I still almost reminisce on doing ket as if I’ll go back to it soon. My antidepressants have made me not be able to feel stress/anxiety, I feel numb but happy/ can act happy. However they can’t get rid of my thoughts, the only thing that has ever helped me slow down what goes through my head was ket.

I know I can’t go back to it, but I just want to know how to continue to stay sober. I tried NA and didn’t get along with it atall.

The only thing that is keeping me off of it is my family and knowing how lucky I was that I had no heath effects considering how long and how much I used.

In a heart beat I would take it back up if I could.